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I'm 16 and need to get away from a toxic household

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  • #46
    Hello im 13 and wanna run away from home. I really dont like my home because i feel unloved, hated, and targeted. I get sad at times and i use smoking weed, carts, cutting, and alcohol to cope with that. The reason i feel unloved, hated, and targeted is because, whenever something happens im always the one to blame ALWAYS. This hurts knowing my family always targets me. For example, my mom got her money stolen from someone recently that wasnt me. The second she found out she went straight to my room and beat the s*** out of me. This hurts very much. I now give no reaction to the hitting so that way she doesnt feel anything good while hitting me. I feel very depressed and dont enjoy doing much, and I rarely eat now. I even did a test to see if my brother cared abt me by holding a knife to my throat crying and he didnt even care or try to stop me. I have no friends irl. I used to, but during this summer they slowly faded away. I only had 2 friends, a guy named Ivan and a girl named Valeria. I used to have more but things happened and now my old friends all target me. I also had online friends, very good ones until my mom took my laptop away for no reason. when i got it back all my friends were gone and i was left all alone. i at times feel like killing myself. I even have the plan all sorted out for when i have the guts to actually die. I cut my self at times as well. Im always left out of things too, like family pictures and when they go out to eat etc. My birthday was recently (july 12) and my family wasnt even here for it. I was all alone while they were in chicago. The only one home with me was my brother. Which he said happy bday but thats it. He then left with his friends and i had no one to hang with. That really hurt me. I wish i could get in contact with my real dad so i could go live with him. Or i honestly just want to end my life. I read online that i can leave at 16 but im not sure i can wait that long so now im thinking of suicide or just running. I have no plan on where ill go and have no money. What do i do.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #47
    Hi, I'm 13 and my mother is extremely toxic and my sister is physically aggressive.

    I've done research and everytime I use it to try to explain what is happening I'm told I am faking because I am "Way to young to be that aware of abuse"

    My mother is a narcissist and is completely overbearing and controlling of me. She gaslights and manipulates me all of the time. Just a few days ago in the car we were talking about moving and looking at houses. We moved away from my hometown after I turned 8 because of my mother and father getting a divorce. When we moved here (where we live now) we were roommates with a woman who physically and verbally abuse my little sister and I while our mother stood by. We no longer live with the woman but I always wondered why she never helped us. Now we live with my step-father who also goes through her abuse but puts it on me. But- back to the original point- I want to move but I don't want to have to start over. She yelled at me and threatened to take my phone away because I was getting emotional about moving away.

    I'm what psychologists would call the "Scape Goat" of my family. My sister and now baby brother are golden children. "Why can't you just be a good older sister," "Why do you have to make everything more difficult for us," things like that are common place. As I said- my sister is a golden child. She has anger issues (which I can understand) but she takes it out on me. Just yesterday I was trying to give our dogs water and she hit me and called me a b!tch because while I was filling the water dish she decided to empty the dishwasher and load it. My mother walked in while I was telling her that I didn't appreciate her hitting me and I got punished for being ridiculous. "YOU'RE A LIER! You're sister would never hurt you! Why'd you spill the dogs' water?!" she had literally been in the next room over.

    When I started looking into my gender identity and came out to her first as genderfaun- (he/him, and other pronouns that aren't feminine) sort of like genderfluid- she completely flipped out. She took my phone away, tried to convince me it was "the internet's fault," and she made me share a room with my sister again. She and my Step-father take my phone away without warning if they hear anything about me talking to my school counselor.

    I had a friend run away and it went well for them and I'm honestly thinking about it. I need to get away and heal but I feel like if I leave she'll turn on my brother and sister, and I might not see my father or step mother because they'll turn me in. I don't want to hurt everyone but I need help.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s very mature of you to know what abuse is and to recognize it. Abuse is never ok, and unfortunately verbal and psychological abuse are hard for people to see.

      It sounds like you’ve had a rough go of things between your parents’ divorce, your mom’s lack of support, the abusive housemate, and moving. All of the above are difficult on their own, let alone having all these experiences at such a young age. Moving especially is a big adjustment, and it’s not fair that your mom is not understanding of that. It’s also unfair that you feel singled out. Sometimes those that are conflict avoidant (perhaps you) are the ones other’s pick on and take advantage of.

      It’s amazing that you shared with your mom your gender identity, and we are so sorry she did not respond in a more positive way. You deserve to feel loved and accepted. The Trevor Project (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/) might serve as a useful resource. It is a crisis line and platform specifically for LGBTQ youth to share their experiences and receive support. Therapy could also be an option. It could help you develop coping mechanisms, give you a safe space to speak to your mom, and hopefully make her aware of her behavior and how it makes you feel.

      We are happy that your friend’s experience of running away went well, but running away can be very risky and unsafe. We understand that things are incredibly hard for you at home, and we're so sorry for that. It’s also incredible that you are so aware of not only yourself but of others around you. It could be helpful to call or chat with us to talk through your plan to runaway if you feel like that is your only option - we can also help provide more if the Trevor Project and therapy do not work for you. Please feel free to contact us 24/7 by calling our hotline or through our online chat service.

      Stay safe and stay strong!
      — NRS

  • #48
    im 16 and my parents are toxic as all hell. ive been grounded for speaking up or "making lies" as they call it. ive now been grounded for the past 4 months due to trying to get out of this toxic house. dcf has been and still is involved but they arent doing anything because of the lies my parents make up. theyve also made my 13 year old brother and i clean most of the house as daily chores my step-father works all day and when he gets home all he does is sit and have his nightly beer while my mom doesnt get up till maybe 12-2pm and then is either working on art or bills she doesnt usually cook unless its a new recipe if its something easy she makes me cook. we live near two small stores and most of the time my parents send me to the stores for them because they cant or dont want to go. they have also taken both of my phones that i have paid for myself and threatened to smash them if i didnt hand over the passcodes. sometimes they like to hit with the wooden spoon and a judge said it was assult and battery with a deadly weapon.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it can be a hard step to reach out and we’re glad you did; we hope to help as best we can. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. You mentioned having been involed with DCFS in the past, its possible brining up another report may help. Child Help can assist in answering any questions you may have about reporting abuse and neglect.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #49
    Hi I’m 11 years old almost 12 I leave in a toxic household and I can’t take it anymore I really want to escape but I can’t today I’m planning on what to do I won’t see anyones reply bc I won’t have any connection to the WiFi

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). Hopefully you have WIFI to see this reply! We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe, NRS

  • #50
    i’m 15 i’m currently in a toxic household with my mom and my stepdad but have been verbally abused, my grandparents live in a different state but want to take me to live with them and i agree with them but i don’t know how to go if my mom says no

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. One option would be if your grandparents file for emergency custody or permanent custody. Then they would have guardianship over you and take the role of your parents.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #51
    i am 13 years old and thinking about running away. mental health is something i've struggled with for a while and my parents don't exactly help. They have tried to help by taking me to a therapist, but all i talk about is the way they are messing with me mentally with their constant yelling and our constant arguing. My dad will make degrading comments to me and i get so emotional that i just argue back and tell him to leave me alone. my therapist and i thought family therapy would be a good idea but my mom just screamed about how it was a bad idea and i haven't asked my dad yet because i'm honestly scared of him. Lately the fighting has been getting worse and they took away my phone and my laptop and aren't letting me go out anywhere for weeks. the worst part is idk why this is happening and it makes me angrier at them. whenever i try to talk about my emotions about our relationship they make me fee stupid and like i'm the problem. they haven't hit me but i really don't think i can handle their comments for much longer, am i overreacting?

    Comment


    • #52
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #53
        Im 17 and dating a 15 year old transgender female to male and his parents gave custody to his grandpaernts in texas he went silent for 3 months and he is at a churchcamp in palistine texas i dont know how to get him out but i will do anything to get him back i need to make sure he doesnt off himself or anthing

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you really care about your partner and that their safety is important to you. It must be hard to not be able to get in touch with him, especially when it seems like there’s a lot of changes going on in his life.

          Have you considered trying to get in touch with his grandparents? Navigating communication with an unsupportive family can be difficult, but at least it might help you determine if he is safe at the church camp. Reaching out to us takes a lot of bravery, we’d love to get some more information in order to figure out some other resources that might be helpful for you.

          We’re really glad you wrote us a post, and just so you know, you can give us a call (1800Runaway) or use the chat feature on our website (1800Runaway.org) to talk a little bit more about what’s going on. We’re here for you 24/7. Good luck!

      • #54
        hey i'm 15 years old i am living with my parents but i want out of here, i'm tired of the way they treat me, like just the other day my dad called me a fat ********** and hit me and no joke when i say this but i have a bruise on my leg that's about 8 inches long. I have not ate much since then i barley even talk to him my parents always say that i'm a loser, i'm not and will never be good enough. they said there done spending money on me, they don't care anymore and i'm scared to tell anyone about anything because i'm scared of what my parents are going to do. There has been plenty of other times they have hit my more my dad then mom but they both hit me. A couple of months ago my dad had smacked me so many times my lip was busted and swollen and my nose was bleeding but he still kept hitting me. What can i do to get out of this situation???

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your parents. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed recently by your father. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

          Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

          If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

          We hope to hear from you soon.

          Be safe,

          NRS

      • #55
        Thank you for the information the church camp is run by his grandparents and they wont pick up my calls or anything the whole family has blocked me for looking into it they moved him there becasue of texas strick transgender laws and they diconected every bit of comunication i have im about to make a trip from indinana to texas to at least make sure he is ok

        Comment


        • ccsmod5
          ccsmod5 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for reaching out! If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services. We can only respond twice through email and bulletin/forum, so we encourage you to reach out via chat or phone call if you need any further assistance.


          Best of luck,
          NRS
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