Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I'm 16 and need to get away from a toxic household

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
    ccsmod5
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,
    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi, I'm 13 and my mother is extremely toxic and my sister is physically aggressive.

    I've done research and everytime I use it to try to explain what is happening I'm told I am faking because I am "Way to young to be that aware of abuse"

    My mother is a narcissist and is completely overbearing and controlling of me. She gaslights and manipulates me all of the time. Just a few days ago in the car we were talking about moving and looking at houses. We moved away from my hometown after I turned 8 because of my mother and father getting a divorce. When we moved here (where we live now) we were roommates with a woman who physically and verbally abuse my little sister and I while our mother stood by. We no longer live with the woman but I always wondered why she never helped us. Now we live with my step-father who also goes through her abuse but puts it on me. But- back to the original point- I want to move but I don't want to have to start over. She yelled at me and threatened to take my phone away because I was getting emotional about moving away.

    I'm what psychologists would call the "Scape Goat" of my family. My sister and now baby brother are golden children. "Why can't you just be a good older sister," "Why do you have to make everything more difficult for us," things like that are common place. As I said- my sister is a golden child. She has anger issues (which I can understand) but she takes it out on me. Just yesterday I was trying to give our dogs water and she hit me and called me a b!tch because while I was filling the water dish she decided to empty the dishwasher and load it. My mother walked in while I was telling her that I didn't appreciate her hitting me and I got punished for being ridiculous. "YOU'RE A LIER! You're sister would never hurt you! Why'd you spill the dogs' water?!" she had literally been in the next room over.

    When I started looking into my gender identity and came out to her first as genderfaun- (he/him, and other pronouns that aren't feminine) sort of like genderfluid- she completely flipped out. She took my phone away, tried to convince me it was "the internet's fault," and she made me share a room with my sister again. She and my Step-father take my phone away without warning if they hear anything about me talking to my school counselor.

    I had a friend run away and it went well for them and I'm honestly thinking about it. I need to get away and heal but I feel like if I leave she'll turn on my brother and sister, and I might not see my father or step mother because they'll turn me in. I don't want to hurt everyone but I need help.

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello im 13 and wanna run away from home. I really dont like my home because i feel unloved, hated, and targeted. I get sad at times and i use smoking weed, carts, cutting, and alcohol to cope with that. The reason i feel unloved, hated, and targeted is because, whenever something happens im always the one to blame ALWAYS. This hurts knowing my family always targets me. For example, my mom got her money stolen from someone recently that wasnt me. The second she found out she went straight to my room and beat the s*** out of me. This hurts very much. I now give no reaction to the hitting so that way she doesnt feel anything good while hitting me. I feel very depressed and dont enjoy doing much, and I rarely eat now. I even did a test to see if my brother cared abt me by holding a knife to my throat crying and he didnt even care or try to stop me. I have no friends irl. I used to, but during this summer they slowly faded away. I only had 2 friends, a guy named Ivan and a girl named Valeria. I used to have more but things happened and now my old friends all target me. I also had online friends, very good ones until my mom took my laptop away for no reason. when i got it back all my friends were gone and i was left all alone. i at times feel like killing myself. I even have the plan all sorted out for when i have the guts to actually die. I cut my self at times as well. Im always left out of things too, like family pictures and when they go out to eat etc. My birthday was recently (july 12) and my family wasnt even here for it. I was all alone while they were in chicago. The only one home with me was my brother. Which he said happy bday but thats it. He then left with his friends and i had no one to hang with. That really hurt me. I wish i could get in contact with my real dad so i could go live with him. Or i honestly just want to end my life. I read online that i can leave at 16 but im not sure i can wait that long so now im thinking of suicide or just running. I have no plan on where ill go and have no money. What do i do.

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod15
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I am 16
    and is stuck in a toxic household with my two younger siblings that I am basically a parent to.I am emotionally abused a victim of physical abuse but not from my mother ,I am constantly berated,she has name called me before when she constantly out partying from Sunday to Sunday she acts like a 17 year old and she is at least 36 before she had her second child in 2012 I was constantly moving and being given to different people to basically raise me while she had free reign now I watch my siblings for at least 12-14 hours a day she expects me to clean the house every day maintain good grades somehow. and I eat maybe one meal a day.there is no food in the house except a few items either I can't eat since I am severely lactose intolerant or I would have to cook somehow if I found the time se spends maybe 3-4hours on average at the house but she either sleep or on the phone trying to find somewhere to go she constantly us and other people how "I have only been home 5 min but I have to go"she seriously neglects me my knee has been maybe popped out the socket for two weeks the maybe is cause she won't even call the doctor to find out I have several health and mental health issues but she won't get me any help she asks as if my human needs are simply inconfeasing her now I thought I can survived this utter hellscape that is my life since I have never known better I try to hope i can have better but i only hold on for my 2 siblings since no one in this world can love them better than I can she doesn't deserve them they never asked to be here and she doesn't love them the that I do she not a good mother at all and I can't stand for there mistreatment I want help that's why I have been actively trying to get a therapist for the past like 2 and a half years I need to be better and get out I can't leave since I am scared for my sister's that are basically my children at this point the foster system isn't an option all of our dad's side of the family aren't an option at my moms side there no space and the only people I would try to trust to take care of them for me dont have the space or the time.I am tried of being stuck in this cycle .I have no space ,no privacy,no time and am mentally ill desperately in need of therapist or a psychologist I really need help.

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod9
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello! I am sorry to hear that you are in such a toxic situation. You deserve to be in a loving and supportive environment especially considering you have a baby on the way. You mentioned that you don’t feel supported in your environment. You can utilize the Home Free Hotline Number 1-800-680-1899 if you ever feel unsafe in your home and feel like you have no where left to turn. Further, Planned Parenthood may be a great option as an expecting mother to help prepare you and provide you with support from professionals. Their number is 1-800-230-7526 and they also have a Live Chat on their website plannedparenthood.org. You can text “PPNOW” to 774636 for more information!


    We are extremely happy and proud of you for taking the necessary steps in contacting us for help. If you would like to talk to somebody at the National Runaway Safeline about your specific situation, we are here to listen and provide support 24/7! Our phone number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and we also have a live chat service via our website https://www.1800runaway.org/.
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 16 and I’m living in a very toxic household. I’m currently expecting a baby and my parents haven’t been supportive. They hate my boyfriend and they don’t know I’m pregnant. I currently got in a fight with my parents and their more and I don’t know what to do . I want to runaway but I don’t think I should .

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod5
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thanks you for reaching out to us, we understand it can be a big step for some. We are glad you reached out. You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
    It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You deserve to have the safe space where you can express yourself and be heard.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Stay strong,
    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi, I'm 16 and I live with my single mom, brother, and aunt. I live in a home that criticizes me for everything I do. I live in a sexist and racist household and I'm a black girl so it's not the best situation. My mom and aunt are Polynesian so I'm the one that has to never talk back and be the perfect robot they want me to be. I see how my family treats the other members of my family and how they treat me and it just doesn't make sense. There were times where my brother called my mom a ********** and yelled at her to do things for him and she takes it but if I say or do something she believes is out of line I get told to shut up and get hit. My brother is 21 and he has never done laundry because he is a man. I get called selfish because I don't allow myself to give in to the idiocracy of doing a grown man's chores. I one time reached out to my mom about my self-harm and how I was really depressed and I was scared that soon I was going to commit suicide and that was a really big step for me because I have never opened up to someone like that and I have struggled with depression in silence for about 5 years, but when I told her about it she told me that I was selfish for thinking this and feel this way. She said I felt this way because I don't come out of my room and I never do anything to better myself, then she started body-shaming me and calling me fat and ugly. When I told her this she moved me out of my room and put me in my living room and I was sleeping on my couch for a few months and I became more depressed and more suicidal. They want me to be an emotionless robot that has no feelings that will cook and clean for them but I'm sorry to say that I'm a human being that has no idea how to navigate their feelings. I love my mom but she has no idea on how to raise her kids in an environment that is a safe mental space. BUT WHY HAVE KIDS IF YOU CAN'T GIVE THEM A SAFE SPACE TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS!!!!!

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod15
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thanks ever so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that things at home with your grandparents are so difficult. It sounds like the situation has reached a point where you feel that living away from them is your best option. Although we are not legal experts, we will do our best to share information that might help you decide what would be best for you.

    Generally, 18 is generally the age someone is considered a legal adult in most states. At this age, you would be free to leave home without parental permission. If you are still considered a minor in your state and leave home, your parent/guardian has the right to file a runaway report with your local police department. From what we understand, if you are reported as a runaway and found by the local police, they would return you home or have your parent/legal guardian pick you up. Anyone that you stay with runs the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Reaching out to the local legal aid or your local police department at their non-emergency number is the best way to get state-specific answers to your questions. If you feel that you are able to support yourself, you may need to explore whether your state offers emancipation and, if so, whether you meet their criteria. These decisions can be really difficult to make. If you would like to speak with someone about your situation, or feel you need help brainstorming your next steps, feel free to reach out to us.

    Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay as safe as possible as you explore you next steps. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe,
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m 16 and I live with my grandparents, only my grandmother has guardianship over me. They are both extremely mean we are always fighting. They never let me or my siblings out of the house and my grandmother is very mentally unstable. She has many undiagnosed mental illnesses that are very hard to deal with. I have a job and a place to go but I’m scared of getting in trouble and unsure of what exactly to do. All’s i know is that I want to get away from them.

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod16
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, thank you for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you have been dealing with, and bravely surviving, a very difficult and stressful home situation. You have already been so brave, and we understand the courage that it takes to reach out to us for help.
    It sounds like you want to leave, to go to live with your online partner, but other people are unsure of the relationship. We can talk over this situation because that is how we work best with people.
    Everyone has their own complex set of problems and we like to have a conversation to help you figure out your options and try to help you solve problems and answer questions.
    You can reach out to us via live chat through this website, or call us at our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929), both options are here for you 24/7
    We truly hope to hear from you soon.
    Sincerely,
    NRS
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello. I'm 17, I turn 18 in February of 2022. However, I don't believe I can last that long, as my situation is incredibly stressful and unrelenting. Thankfully, nobody's really aware of my LGBTQ+ relations in my entire family, (female presenting, bisexual) and I'm thankful for that, but it's everything else that makes this unbearable. I don't often hear homophobic or transphobic things, but when I do it feels terrible, even if it's not directed towards me. I have an online partner that I've been with for 6 months and I trust them with my life, I have a friend that we both talk with pretty much all the time, and he's like a better brother to me than my actual brother who takes care of me. My parents are both unable to take care of me, I was adopted at the age of 1, my foster-parents were in there 70's, and my father has passed in 2018. My mother is in her 90's with alzheimer's.

    I cry just about every day. I think about cutting just about every day. I do it for comfort, for warmth, and it feels like I have nowhere else to go. My right arm is consistently red with cut marks and I never feel like my feelings are taken into consideration with anything that happens in my life. I have no control of anything. I've talked to my family about moving out with their consent, but unfortunately have not gotten any sort of satisfying answer. I understand online relationships are scary, but I've called with this person. I've seen them speak, they've sent pictures of themselves, I've had video calls with them and their mother so that we could discuss possibilities of me moving out and what I would exactly need. I know I need my certified birth certificate, my social security card, medicaid card, school transcripts, and at least two things with my name and address on them. We have most if not all of these things, but it's just simply the lack of help that worries me. We've been more than willing to have facetimes and any sort of call to understand the situation better but nothing has moved forward, and I'm honestly afraid to talk with my brother.

    He's a stereotypical factory worker who comes home to yell at me for miniscule things that I've honestly forgotten about. I've talked to him about it and he seemed okay with it once but he brings it up now like it's never going to happen. I talked to my other brother over call, and he's worried about it because of the whole online aspect and moving. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost.

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod15
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello!
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to seek help when you are going through a difficult time. Your safety and well being is important to us and we want to help you have the best options to address your concerns. Abuse and neglect, emotional and physical, are traumatizing and you and your sister do not deserve to be treated in such ways.
    As you mentioned, the treatment you are enduring living with your grandma is not anything one should have to go through. It is good to know that you have people that are willing to help and support you. However, as you are not at a legal age, if your grandparents were to file a runaway report you would possibly be brought back to them. An option you do have is to contact child protective services again to discuss possible options for you and your sister. If you want to explore that option more www.childhelp.org is a great place to learn more. In addition, our call and chat services can provide you with more tailored information to better help you. We will be able to offer you support and guidance through the different options that you have.
    Once again, thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate you taking the step to find out more information regarding your concern. We are a 24 hour service that provides immediate guidance and support through phone and live chat, feel free to contact us.
  • Guest
    Guest

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi im 15 and im living with a toxic grandma I've been living with my grandma for sometime about 6 to 7 years for about 3 years she and her husband never hit us but afterwards me and my sisters been punched kicks beat against a wall my grandma husband should been gone cause he hit my aunt and she died a month or so later but she still talkes to him. Well me and my sisters are just getting sick of tired of how our family treats us and my oldest sister has a baby on the way i dont want it to grow up and stay here to get beat on to my boyfriend said i should tell children service i did but they say they cant do anything about it at this point i just wanna run away and live with my boyfriend mom or my best friend mom they both said they would take me in could i move out at 17? But things are getting worse and im not sure what to do cause when i fight back the police are called and they said i hit them first or something no one listens to me i just need some real advice

    Leave a comment:

Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
Auto-Saved
x
Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
x
or Allowed Filetypes: jpg, jpeg, png, gif
x
x
Working...
X