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I'm 16 and need to get away from a toxic household

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  • #31
    Hello
    I am 16 and I am living in a house with a abusive mom and a dad that does nothing about it, I have done everything by myself since I can remember. My mom has hit me choked me and I have been in hospitals for my depression. I have depression anxiety and PTSD. DCFS has been involved about my mother but they didn’t do anything. My mom has told me I am nothing to her not even considered a daughter. I remember those words for the rest of my life. I have always struggled in school and I have tried talking to my dad and he promises that thing will change but they never do. My parents argue all the time, I remember when I was little and they will always arguing in my room and they still do it. My mom has threatened to take me away from my dad, and she has taking money from my dad. My parents tell me bad things about each other, I just have to sit there and listen and it hurts. I have been in the hospital 4 times, my sister has tried helping me but my mom doesn’t like her, There was one point I couldn’t see her. I haven’t talked to my parents in days and then they yell at me for not doing my school work, just the other day they argued and I had to listen to it. My dad said he is going to call me school to see if I have been doing work. I am so mentally drained and I don’t know what to do. I don’t wanna be in my house any more and I keep telling myself I only have a year and a half till I am 18 but it feels so far away. I have tried working out and going to work to help get away from home and it helps but knowing that I have to go back home hurts. I just got my job and I haven’t got a pay check yet but the only thing my parents do for me is buy for food for me. I do everything else by myself. I wanna know what I can do to get out of my house sooner. I just need help and I have talked to a therapist and a counselor but they can’t help me. I am on so many different meds to help me depression and anxiety and adhd but living in this house doesn’t help anything. I can talking to people about it but nothing going to happen and no body can help me and that’s the hopeless feeling ever. I just need help getting out of this house sooner.

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us – it takes a lot of courage to ask for help, and we will do our best to support you. Please know that you deserve to be loved and cared for, and you also deserve to be treated kindly by your parents.

      You mentioned that your mom has hit and choked you. Please know that it is not okay for anyone to harm you like this. We care about your safety, and if you are in immediate danger, calling 911 is an option. Another resource that might be helpful is the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline, which is a 24-hour hotline with resources to aid in every child abuse situation. You can call or text 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). You can also live chat by clicking on the “Live Chat” button on their website, which is https://www.childhelp.org/childhelp-hotline/. You also mentioned that your mom has said very unkind words to you. We care about you, and you deserve to be spoken to in a kind way. In addition to physical abuse, the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline also helps with emotional abuse and neglect.

      It sounds like you have tried a lot of strategies to cope with your depression, anxiety, and PTSD such as working out and getting a job. That takes a lot of responsibility, and we are proud of you. The Crisis Text Line has some additional resources and strategies that might be helpful. Their website is https://www.crisistextline.org/resources/#resources-11.

      We are so proud of you for contacting us for help. If you would like to talk to somebody at the National Runaway Safeline about your specific situation, we are here to listen and to support you 24 hours/day, 7 days a week. Our phone number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also live chat with us via our website, which is https://www.1800runaway.org/.

  • #32
    i'm 15 and i NEED to get out of my toxic household. my mom hits me all the time. she tells me to leave or to kill myself. she also says that i'm not allowed to be gay when i'm living under her roof. she's always drinking and yelling. i struggle with depression, anxiety, and i have a past of self harm. i need help. she's so homophobic and i can't do it anymore

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

      We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

      You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. You can reach out to Child Help as a resource for the abuse going on at home if you wanted. Their number is 800-422-4453 or you can chat with them at www.childhelp.org. We can report as well! Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.

      If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat at www.1800RUNAWAY.org and we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

      Stay Strong,
      NRS

  • #33
    Hi, I'm 16 and I live in a very toxic household. My mother and I do NOT get along. My doctor said that I need therapy 4 times now and my mother does not allow me to go. I have 3 horses and do not know what to do. She has told me that I will be beat if I do not do things perfectly. I've tried to talk to her and every time I get yelled at. My father does not see what is happening and let's my mom walk over him. I've called CPS 3 times and nothing have happened. I'm looking to move in with my grandparents in May. However I'm scared as to what my mother might do. CPS has told me that I should look into moving in with my grandparents. I'm concerned as to what might happen if I do move out. Please give me some help as I need help with this. I wish I could stay with my parents however this is not okay.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,
      Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you are having a tough time at home. We are here to help you in any way we can.

      You said that your mom said you will be beat if you do not do things perfectly. Abuse is never okay, and no child should have to live in fear of physical abuse or experience emotional and verbal abuse. Childhelp is the National Child Abuse Hotline, and they are a great resource for children who are experiencing abuse for resources and to potentially file an abuse report. Their number is 1-800-422-4453 and their website is www.childhelp.org. If you ever find yourself in immediate danger, please call 911.

      It sounds like your doctor has referred you to go to therapy but your mom has not let you go. If you are currently in school, your school might have some resources to connect with therapy or might allow you to schedule appointments with your school counselor of social worker. SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) also has an option on their website where you can locate services, and some therapists offer sliding scale for payment. We are happy to call out to any you might find with you to see whether they allow a number of sessions prior to requiring parent consent. If you are interested, their website is findtreatment.samhsa.gov and their referral helpline number is 1-800-662-HELP (4357). If you would like us to look into this with you, you can call into us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and we can call out together.

      It is great that you are looking to stay with your grandparents. You mentioned that CPS told you to look into that as an option. If you have any proof of that, like a voicemail or email, or could ask the person you spoke to for that suggestion in writing, it might help you if your mom decides to make a runaway report.

      We are happy to talk through how you plan to safely leave home or anything else you would like to talk about if you call into us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are a 24/7, completely confidential safeline. Here to listen, here to help.

      Best of luck,
      NRS
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