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I'm 16 and need to get away from a toxic household

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  • #16
    hi, Im 15 years old, I have been mentally abused and neglected of my mental health needs. I was supposed to be in inpatient a couple times but my dad told my doctors I was being dramatic and the second time he refused to let me go. he doesn't let me take the medications i was prescribed and just recently flushed my meds to help with my anxiety attacks, which I have at least 3 or 4 a day and i do not take any other drugs. he's never physically hurt me, the most he's done is put his hands around my throat "as a joke" and continues to deny anything and he's told me to cut myself before the first time he figured out i self-harmed, and still denies it and says he doesn't remember. i am not allowed to have any social outlet and i haven't had my phone for more than a week in almost a year. he thinks this is all supposed to help me but I dont see how talking down to me, degrading and isolating me, is supposed to help. he honestly drives me insane. and that's just presently. i used to be physically and mentally abused by my exstepmom and was left by my biological mother for ten years. I've already ran away once and I've had the cops called on me twice by him, and if I get called one more time I go to juvy and honestly that doesn't sound too bad. I dont know if I'm scared or trying to help myself. I dont know how to help myself.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for reaching out. Sounds like you are going through a whole lot with your family and mental health. That has to be so stressful and frustrating to be feeling this way, and to have your dad and stepmom do and say such hurtful things such as flushing your meds. Here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

      It sounds like you are feeling like you are not getting the support you need for your mental health. Here at NRS, we want you to know that you are not alone, and there are resources and people out there who truly want to help, especially while you are lacking that support at home. If you want to talk through how you are feeling please do not hesitate to call or chat us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or www.1800runaway.org. You can also always reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/; 1-800-273-8255 whenever you are feeling down or feeling like self-harming.

      You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your dad and stepmom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

      We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.

      Be safe,

      NRS

  • #17
    Im Jamiah, My birthday is Tommorow (December 18th) i'll finally be 16. I want to get emancipated but i have no phone no job no anything. Everything went downhill this summer. its been a hell of year. But recently is what made me feel like i have to get the hell out of this toxic house. They wont let me get a job. all i'm good here for is watching my baby sister to them. They wont let me move with my nana. I just overall have NO freedom here. It's sad. I'm a social person and idk why but not being able to txt or facetime my friends really hurts me. i guess my phone and friends was my escape from my reality. Now im starting to just hate my life more. i want to kms. I've cut myself in the past and recently. I tried taking lots of pillls. I need a way off this earth. my life is pointless. my mother should aborted me. my mom and stepdad previously took my phone because they found out I had sex. They have taken my phone and gave it to my NINE yr old brother. Although I know I was in the wrong they just treat me like i'm a HORRIBLE person. It's like they dont understand teenagers have sex, teenagers are gonna things you dont like. We are going to make bad choices and decisions sometimes. Like i did. I just for some control over my own life. It's like no say so in anything. Although it may seem like im complaining because i have no phone. It's more to the story. just dont want to tell all my buisness. Not only do i think i need a new environment but some family members and lots of friends think so to. please can you give me some tips on what to do if im not finacially fit for emancipation?!

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi Jamiah,
      Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things at home are really tough for you and we are glad you have contacted us for help.
      It is important you know first of all that you are not alone when you feel suicidal. You should not have to go through your darkest of moments without support. It is out there for you. When you are feeling like you are on the verge suicide or self harm you can always reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Another helpful resource for these moments is the website To Write Love on Her Arms (twloha.com). It is essentially a blog in which people tell their real and hopeful stories of their experiences around self injury and suicidal ideation and attempts. We know that these moments are so difficult and we commend you for bravely getting through them. You are strong and capable and it is okay to ask for help.
      We are sorry to hear that you are feeling like your freedom is being taken away at home. It is not fair for you to face repercussions that affect your mental health as these do. It makes sense that you would want to get emancipated in the wake of everything going on in your life. It is important you know that emancipation is a long and involved process and that in most states it is required for the youth in question to provide proof of financial independence. We understand that you are being prevented from developing your own financial independence and this must be very frustrating. If you call us at anytime we can supply you with a legal aid resource in your state that might be able to talk through this option with you further. We can also read you the emancipation statute in your state. If this is something you want, we can help you figure out how to get there.
      There is so much going on for you, and yet you have found a way to seek order through the chaos. You are doing a great job. Think of this as a starting point, and please feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY to discuss these and other options further. You can also chat us at 1800runaway.org.
      Stay safe and stay strong.
      NRS

  • #18
    Hi, I'm not the one currently in this situation. My boyfriend, currently 15, is stuck in a toxic household. He used to live by me but he was sexually and physically abused and then he moved far away with his abusive mother. He is currently being mentally and physically abused, he is put on meds and they are thinking about sending him to a mental hospital. He is scared and is being admitted for the wrong reasons. I am currently working on a plan to get him out of there but we are both minors and miles upon miles apart so getting him here is a problem with all of the legal stuff. I was hoping you guys would have some answers as time is ticking away and I am stuck at the moment. Thank you

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your boyfriend. You can pass along the following message to him for us.

      "It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe,

      NRS"

  • #19
    Hi I’m 13 I live in a toxic home ever since I was young I could briefly remember things my mother and father have done to my family my father would beat my siblings for doing the simplest things....going out, painting yours nails , being happy in a relationship......we all have been at least been hit by my father my mother would never know what to do she would just watch because she never knew what she was doing in 5th grade my parents got divorced Whitehall made things worse my hole became more toxic my father once came to the house which he did not live in anymore and was drunk and broke the window I was scared that’s the first time we called the police to our house and then my family got a bit better but then my brother and mother started fighting to the point he left the house to live with my older sister for months then he came back they still kept fighting and all behind that was me and my little sister I have to take care of my little sister everyday while my mom works I clean and sometimes cook for my family and now it’s my duty to do this I feel like I’m the mother taking care of my little sister and now my brother and mother started a fight again now my brother ran away and now I will have to start cleaning and cooking again and I don’t know what to do anymore

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #20
    I live in a very toxic household, everything I do is never good enough, I clean and clean all day and never have time for school because if I don’t do my chores by a certain time I’m getting yelled at but my classes start at 7am and end at 3pm and my parents come home around 4 and it doesn’t give me enough time to finish homework or even have the motivation to clean even tho I still do it. I’m mental and physically exhausted and don’t know what to do, I want to leave but im afraid they will call the police on me. Im gonna be 18 in 2 months and I can’t take it no more and I want to just run away, I’m afraid that the cops would come looking for me when I would be in a safe place, they told me I could get my ged but when I finally got some money they said I needed to pay for it myself, which was fine with me I had the money to do it, but then they called and told me I couldn’t drop out and get my ged because I haven’t been doing my school work due to being stuck cleaning all day, I don’t know what to do because I know that the cops will just cause me more issues, how do I leave? How can I go to work with no car or license because they refuse to teach me or even help me. I don’t feel loved I really don’t and I have no one to talk to about it, what sucks is my mom allows my step dad to tell me what to do when he hasn’t been in my life for not even a year! I get told I’m a slut and whore and that I’m lazy and I just don’t know how to leave, someone help me anybody?

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You don't deserve to be called names. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #21
    Hello. I am 12 years old, turning 13 in march. My relationship with my mom often can become very toxic and I hate it. I want to run away because she possibly wants to get back with my dad who has psychically and mentally hurt me. I have a friend who I could stay with but we both aren’t sure, we are scared one of us could go to jail or stuff like that. my mom also favors my brother a lot, because he gets good grades. she also doesn’t accept the fact that i don't want to go to college. I have a list of things I’ll bring
    Food
    2-3 water bottles
    clothes, pants, so on
    pocket knife (for defending myself in a situation if i’m getting kidnapped)
    20$
    toothbrush/toothpaste
    hairbrush
    facial care
    and school supplies
    i am not sure if I am gonna yet, but I am positive that I should because the way she treats me is very toxic.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home not put in jail. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. You and your friend likely won’t go to jail but their parents might get in trouble.
      If your dad does end up returning just know that you don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS
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