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I don't wanna live anymore but I don't know how to kill myself peacefully

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  • I don't wanna live anymore but I don't know how to kill myself peacefully

    I am just too depressed , I want something but I can't get it ! I m becoming psychotic . I don't know what I should do! I have lost all hopes! My parents forcing me to get married and they forcefully fixed my marriage , they think it's the best thing for me. But I wanna stay alone , I don't want a family , I want just me . I have a boyfriend I am very happy with him. My work life is getting the worst . My work does not get proper anymore , I get escalations cause my tears won't stop , I am also not sure of what I am doing, I feel I need a psychiatrist ! Or someone who can heal me . I just wanna die , I wanna fly away to God. Sometimes I feel only god can heal me . When I try killing myself I just think about my mom and would stop but she is the one who cries and blackmails me telling I should get married to who ever she says or her BP would go high upto 180 and she would have breathing problem . My question is , is this appropriate to sacrifice myself for even my moms happiness . I don't know wat exactly I'm saying , if somebody can understand what I am going thru please help . I don't want this soul anymore !!

  • #2
    Hello there -

    Thank you for taking the time out of your day to get into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. From your message to us, it sounds like you have are going through a very hard time right now and seem to be very overwhelmed with everything that is going on especially with your family trying to force you to get married and also having thoughts of suicide. It’s great that you are able to reach out for help in your current situation, it’s very brave of you to do that.

    Unfortunately, we don’t know much about resources in the UK for we mainly work within the United States. But there are resources that might be able to help you within India that can be of more help. There is the “Childline India Foundation” (http://www.childlineindia.org.in/) in India that might be of more help since our resources don’t go outside the United States. There also might be a number in which you can call as well to talk to them about what has been going on. It might be a great way to talk to someone there that can help you get through these terrible times with your parents. You sound like a very strong girl to keep fighting for what you believe in and standing up for yourself.

    You also mentioned that you were dealing with a lot of suicidal thoughts, as well as depression and self-harm. Do you have these feelings often to the point where you want to do more harm to yourself and are thinking about acting on these thoughts? If you do feel like this isn’t something that you can control, please reach out to someone that can help you through those times. You shouldn't be afraid to tell other people what you are thinking about doing especially if you are thinking about hurting yourself. You are certainly not alone in this and there are many many people that are here to help you. Depending on where you are located in India, there are several suicide hotlines that you can possibly get into touch with. You can find some of the numbers to call on this website (http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/inte...-hotlines.html). Please to be afraid to reach out for help and be who are you.

    We hope that this resource helps!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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