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  • Im 18 and I want to move out

    I live in Louisiana, I'm a high school student (Senior) and I will turn 18 on this November. I want to move out of my house and live with my fiance. She is 20 and goes to college right now. I want to move out because I don't feel happy at my house.My parents treat me bad and unfair. They always choose to believe what my younger sister says over me. They call me names, cuss me out and always sneak in my room to search for stuff. My mom brought me to the bank once to open me an account but it was under her name and she just took it back when the card still got my money. I asked her to give it back but she said no. My dad is an alcoholic. He drinks at least 6 beer cans per day. He cusses me out and calls me names all the time. I don't know if he is even my real dad because his name is not on my birth certificate. My parents try to control everything in my life. they don't let me have a job because they think if I have a job I have money and I will try to move away from them. But when I need money to pay for my school fee and supply they say no and don't give me money for it. But if my sister asks them they will give it to her no matter what she says. I don't have money for anything. My mom gives me my old brother's clothes because she doesn't want to waste money. She brings me to the thrift store and let me buy clothes in there but brings me sister to the mall so she can goes buy her clothes in forever 21 or those fancy stores. I have to save up money from coins I found around the house or my fiance saves up her money and buys it for me. My mom even keeps all my paperworks and hide it because she thinks I might steal it and run away. I'm almost 18 years old and I don't even have a passport or know anything about my information. The only time I ever see it is when we need to go do something that needs those paperworks then she brings it out and shows me so I can translate to the people at where we go. They always doubt me no matter what I do. Always think I'm up to something bad. They would blow up my phone if I don't come home before 9 pm but let my sister goes downtown to a sleepover party when she just 16. There were so many things they did to me in the past that make me come up with this decision. I know I would have a happier life if I move away from them. Several months ago my dad beat my mom and my sister called me home. that night I did push him 1 time because he was about to hit her again and he disowned me. He cussed at me and called me names and said a lot of bad things. What I did that night was protected my mom because he was almost killed her but my mom turned back at me and cussed me and said I can't hit him because no matter what he still my dad. She made me promised that I will never move out but I said no and said I will definitely move when I'm old enough. I used to commit suicide but my fiance stopped me and helped me worked things out. I just want to know if I move out on my birthday which is when it officially 18 can my mom call the police and report me as the runaway? Do I need to have a job when I move out? I don't want my fiance and her family to get in trouble just because of my parents might do some crazy things. Can I get a restraining order on them if they bother me or try to know my personal life because they keep all my paperworks so I think they will write down my social and ask about my personal life? Is it illegal for them to keep my paperworks and refuse to give it back to me when I'm 18? If I need help with these problems who can I contact to get help? I'm just trying to get my life ready because I've been living in hell for 18 years and I can't take this anymore. I will join the military next year during the summer after I graduate high school so before that I want to have at least several to enjoy my own life. A happy life that I've always wanted. Thank you so much for reading and I appreciate any comment. I feel so much better after letting all these words out. Thank you so much and have a nice day. God bless Y'all

  • #2
    Hey there,

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through such a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can. That sounds so stressful and hurtful to feel treated badly by your family and to feel controlled. That seems frustrating that they treat your sister differently, look through your room, hide your documents, and don’t let you access money. We want you to know that no one deserves to be cussed at and called names. You should not have to go through that. We want you to know that you are worth it and that there is hope for you. Despite all of these things, it seems like you have a positive support in your fiance and that you’ve been working through these challenges. It also sounds like you have some goals for yourself like joining the military, and that you’re willing to work hard to make yourself happy and accomplish your goals. That all takes a lot of strength.

    We want you to know that if you ever feel that you are in danger of hurting or killing yourself, you could call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255; suicidepreventionlifeline.org) or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.

    It also sounds tough that your dad is an alcoholic. We want you to know that if you ever feel that you are in danger, you could call 911 for immediate help. Also, if you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the violence you and your family have been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or you could call us or chat with us online.
    We’re not legal experts here at NRS. But generally, once you are 18, your parents could not file a runaway report. Though we’re not legal experts, once you are a legal adult you should be able to get access to your documents. Once you are an adult, you would also be able to open up a bank account without permission from your parents, and they would not have access to that account. We have legal aid resources you could call to ask more specific questions about the law and what you could do to get the documents and any legal protection you may need.

    It also sounds like you’re trying to make sure you’re prepared to leave home when you turn 18. You could consider thinking up a solid plan about what you’re planning on doing if you leave home. You could make sure you’ll have access to basic necessities like food, housing, clothes, etc. You could think through how everything is going to work, if you’ll look for a job, what you’ll do in case things go wrong, etc.
    If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support. If you haven’t already, you could also consider talking to your parents about how you’ve been feeling or have someone help you talk to them.

    There are also many resources that could help you work through conflict with your family, find a safe place if you’re in need of that, get legal help, or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us or chat with us online.

    Again, thank you or contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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    • #3
      I’m 18 and I want to move out too!!! It’s so much going on in my life I just feel like if I had my one place where I could just provide for my self and don’t have to worry about any one else but me well having a room mate would be nice I need help I on places that would take an 18yr old I’m from Cleveland oh

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out to us at National Runaway Safeline. We are grateful to receive your message and to be of service. It takes courage to do as you are, planning to move out and provide for yourself when there is so much going on in your life.

        At age 18 in the state of Ohio, you have reached the age of majority, meaning you are now legally allowed to live on your own. Generally, when applying for an apartment, landlords will want to see that you are able to support yourself and pay the rent on time. Often, this includes verifying your employment or other source of income, as well as conducting a check of your credit report. Finding a safe, reliable roommate could be another way of helping make a living arrangement more affordable.

        We are here for you 24/7 and encourage us to contact us by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or by online chat anytime to discuss your situation in greater detail. We wish you all the best!

    • #4
      HI I'm 18 years old and I want to know how to move out of the nest, I am treated unfair at home.
      My mom works all day sometimes night but most of the time I am stuck with my younger siblings at home with no help with their tantrums or their disrespectful behavior.
      I have 5 younger siblings 3 sisters 2 brothers, I am the oldest ,my mother had me at 16 but got pregnant at 15.
      I want to live my own life without being called names or called worthless or an idiot.
      I don't want to get my family into trouble because we've been through so much already ..... I'm tired of watching my siblings that don't listen and treat me like crap.
      They are all taller than me being 4ft 10 in tall....they think that being tall gives them the right to hurt and abuse my feelings and body.
      My brother has slapped me before, my sister has kicked and punched me before....I am afraid to tell me mother.
      Because every time I do.....she believes their lies and hurts me saying she knows me ....but she don't know ********.
      She's full of her self
      She makes me do all the chores and gets mad at me when I'm relaxing and on my phone and takes it away but my siblings do NOTHING around the house.
      I'm a funny, loving, caring person and I just want to have my own life before I go to the Navy.
      That is my dream..... The Navy will help me travel and see the world I will be fighting for AWAY from my family.
      I go to Churchill high school San Antonio Tx
      I am in 10th grade
      I want help..PLEASE
      I wanna leave the world I know into one of my own....Please help me make this come true....Thank you for listening to me....bless you all ❤

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello There,
        Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, and sharing a little bit of your story with us.
        It seems like you have gone through a lot over the years and have been mistreated. You do not deserved to be called names or to be slapped, that is unacceptable. We are sorry you are going through all of that.
        Because you are 18 you are legally allowed to leave home without parental consent. It is awesome you have a goal to join the navy! You may want to consider saving up money before you leave home, that way you can be independent. If you need to leave home now and need a place to stay a shelter may be an option. If you need help looking for a shelter in your area you can give us a call and we can help you look for resources.
        We want you to know that you are not alone and there is always someone willing to listen. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
        NRS

    • #5
      I want to leave at 18 my parents don’t treat me how I want to be treated and give me no privacy and look through my room I live in Michigan what should I do. I am 17 right now I turn 18 in December

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us. If you were to leave the home at 18, as a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!

    • #6
      I want to move out at 18 but knowing my dad I won’t be able to take my things that he says he paid for. I want to be able to take my cell phone with me because i actually worked for it and bought it and paid the bills on it. How can I take it if my dad refuses to give it to me and it’s under his possession at the moment? Do I need to get the police involved?

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,
        Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We glad you have contacted us for help.
        It sounds like you are planning on moving out when you are 18, but you are concerned about what might happen to your personal belongings, particularly your cellphone. This must be really frustrating. If your Dad refuses to relinquish possession of something that is yours and you are 18, this might be considered stealing. You may get the police involved, if you feel this is best.
        We cannot speak to exactly how the police will respond, but it may be possible that they disregard the situation. Therefore, it can be helpful to have backup plans in place. Thinking of trusted adults in your life that may be able to advocate for you and you rightful ownership of your belongings can help. We can also assist you with talking to Dad if you are interested. We have an amazing service in which we can mediate a conversation over the phone between a youth and their parent or guardian. If you ever want this, you can reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY to initiate. We are here to help you get your needs met.
        We hope some of this information was useful to you. We will be here to listen whenever you need to reach out again. Again, our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. Or, we may be reached via instant message at 1800runaway.org. We wish you the best of luck.
        Sincerely,
        NRS

    • #7
      Ok so I turned 18 this past February on the 7th. I have told my parents that I don't want to be here that it is too hard.My freshmen year of high school they sent me to a boarding school/group home for a little bit over two years. My dad decided to move out and almost filed for a divorce for me it has gotten to a point where I don't want to be here because it feels like the only reason that they brought me home in the first place was because they needed more people to help clean the house and do things for them. I mean don't get me wrong they say they love me and all but it just doesn't feel like it. The other night an incident happened with me and my sister. As my parents were talking to me I told them that it was to hard to be back and that I wanted to leave but they said that they have already paid for my schooling this year and so I'm not going anywhere. As well they also have not taken me to get my ID either. So I was able to get in contact with one of my really really close friends from back in middle school and talked to them about staying with them and they said that they would talk to their grandma about it and their grandma said yes. I don't want any problems so how do I go about doing this?

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds like you and your family have had a very stressed relationship for quite some time and it's got to be really overwhelming.

        Since you are 18, you are considered a legal adult (with the exception of in NE, MS, and AL), which means that you can live where you wish. If you are currently on probation or parole you may want to check with your PO about if this would violate the terms of your parole/probation and if it could be amended. It’s important to consider all the possibilities that can occur if you leave home. You will need to plan out how you will cover basic necessities like travel, food, clothing, etc. It could be a good idea to speak with your friend's grandma about what the expectations of the living arrangement will be like; rules, the amount of time you’re allowed to stay, if you’re expected to contribute financially, etc. Living somewhere new can also bring about many safety risks. You will need to consider ways that you can protect yourself from physical harm as well as the possibility of sexual and labor exploitation. This can all influence your decision to leave.

        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        Stay safe,
        NRS

        We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
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