I hate my mom

[Guest]

Most people say its normal to have a bad relationship between mother and daughter, that its just a teenager thing. But I don't know what the range of "normal" is because I think I am out of it. My mom gets mad at me for every single thing I do. I am just going to start listing stuff
- she yells at me everyday
- she repeats what I say in a mocking voice
- she punches me in the chest
- today she slapped me as hard as she could across my face
- she asks my dad for help to discipline me
- I say "I don't like what you are saying" or "It hurts my feelings" and she immediately starts an argument where she turns everything onto me and says I am mean
- She blames everyone except for herself
- She fights with everyone in my family
- She can never stop an argument, she just keeps going. I say "I'm sorry" and she will continue to say how awful I am
- She compares me to my friends and my brother
- She says I suck at soccer and running and I don't try hard enough
- She always says "I want to ring your neck"
- She loses everything and tries to blame me
- She steals my phone and tries to find things to make me look like a bad person
- She tells me my friends are weird and mean
- She says "I buy you everything and you can't be respectful" How can I be respectful to someone who is so cruel?
- She calls me a ********** and says ******** you

I am an A student in all honors. I have a C in honors geometry this year (I am 14 and a freshman). I work extremely hard and she doesn't seem to care. My dad works extremely hard to help me understnd what we are learning. He even reads my textbook and does my homework while he is at work so he can explain it to me if I have problems. I do homework for like 5 hours each night. I study for a VERY long time. I have cross country at 6:00 am every morning and I wake up at 5:00. After school, I do some homework and then I go to soccer from 5:30 to 9:00 (includes driving). Basically I am saying that I have a very busy life and this extra stress at home makes me want to kill myself. The stress is just too much. Today after she hit me because I said she was mean, I came upstairs and I actually started thinking about jumping off the balcony. I have always joked about "killing myself" to my friends when I have a test or something, but just a few minutes ago, I was serious. I started to think that that was the only way for my mom to realize how much she was ruining my life. I want to make her feel guily or sorry for what she says and does to me because she doesn't seem to care. I am scared. I don't want to kill myself but I'm not sure that there is another way for this to go away. It has been happening for 3 years now and I honestly can't take it. School is too much. Cross country gives me anxiety. I have no friends at soccer. And then I come home to be slapped and cursed by my mother. Is this actually how it is supposed to be? What am I doing wrong? How can I end an argument? I just really need help and support right now.

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for reaching out to us. It appears you are in a very stressful situation and it is could to see that you are reaching out for help. We are sorry you are going through these problems at home and you shouldn’t have to be experiencing this while you are trying to improve yourself at school. You definitely do not need to be hit by your mother and hopefully this will stop. We are glad you have realized the value of your life and have are looking for options.

You have mention that your dad is helpful with your studies and assists you with them. Is he aware of how you are getting along with your mother? Does he know that she has hit you? Perhaps he could talk with your mother. You definitely do not deserve to be hit. You also mentioned that your mother argues with everyone in the family. Could you talk with them to help you talk with your mother about the situation? Do you have a counselor or a teacher you feel comfortable with at school you could talk to about the situation at home? School personnel are what are known as ‘mandated reporters’ and if you mentioned the abuse to them they are required to report that to Child Protective Services. So keep in mind if you want CPS to get involved if you do talk with a teacher/counselor. You also mention that cross country gives you anxiety and that you don’t feel you have made friends in soccer. Would you be happier if you dropped one or the other of the sports? To learn more about reporting you might reach out to the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. You can also call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you would like assistance calling out to your local abuse hotline.

Again, thank you for reaching out to us. It can take a lot to ask for help from others and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We are here to listen, here to help.