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i'm 15 and both my parents are abusive and i want to live in my friends house

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  • i'm 15 and both my parents are abusive and i want to live in my friends house

    i'm 15 and i live in puerto rico

    both of my parents are abusive. first, i lived with my dad for over 9 or 10 years, and i move d out of my dads house because he abused his girlfriend and i really felt dissapointed on my dad and i really didn't want to live in a toxic house. also the fact is that he is an alcoholic, and sometimes he can hurt my feelings. so i moved to my moms. when i moved, i came back to my childhood school and i was happy. until recently it was revealed that my stepdad abused my mom for almost 5 years. and my
    mom had suicidal thoughts and everything and i really wanted to help her. so we decided to move to boston. especially since the situations that's happening here in puerto rico, which is uninhabitable. everything was going good until my mom decided to control everything about me. she forced me to wear clothes i didn't like and felt uncomfortable. she told me that i should just emancipate myself and that i have no freedom. she also makes fun of my sexuality. i'm a pansexual man and i like to wear flower crowns, because i think there's nothing wrong with that, but she disagrees and started mocking me about how i would look if i had that one n public and said that what would happen if i had make up. i got really depressed because this isn't the first time she does something like that. and today, she called a "mojon"(a piece of ********) and tried to hit me twice. when i arrived to school she told me that i should thank god that she didn't abort me. and i got even more depressed. i decided that both homes are toxic and not very supportive. so my friend in florida, offered me to live with her and that i shouldn't worry about school and everything. the thing is that i told my teacher that i very much trust and she told the guidance counselor, who is very nice as well. she told me that even tho i'm a minor, that it's weird to live in a strangers house. i know she's an internet, but we always have skype video chats with my other friends in this group chat. i met one of them in real life and it was the best thing in the world. so i was sure i can trust them. i really want to move out of my parents house and live with her. it's a better opportunity for me to start over and that's something i want to. i want to feel accepted and truly loved in a home. i know that i need permition from my parents so i can move and i'm scared that they won't. but i really really want to.

  • #2
    Hi,
    Thanks so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like a lot is going on, both in Puerto Rico and your life. It is totally understandable that you would want to not live with your parents, as they have both been abusive towards you. It also sounds like your mom is not accepting of your sexuality, and disapproves of your clothes which can be really hurtful. Clothing is a great way to express yourself, and it sounds like your mom is limiting that.

    You mentioned that your mom said you should get emancipated. Emancipation is an option for those over the age of 16, so you are still too young for that. However, with your parents’ permission you can live where you choose. It sounds like you are nervous about asking your mom if you can live with your friend, which is totally understandable. If you want, we could have a conference call with your parent, and be able to act as a mediator. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 if it interests you. It also sounds like you and your mom had a good relationship until recently. Talking could be one way to help that, and express everything that you have been feeling.

    It also sounds like you feel comfortable talking to your teacher and counselor. These are helpful resources that could keep helping you if you want.
    Another option is abuse reporting. You could do this on your own, or we could help you find the right number and information if you wanted to call us and do it together. Reporting abuse is a good option for you if you want the Department of Children and Family Services to look into your living situation. It can be a big step, so it is totally understandable if you did not want to report abuse.

    You also mentioned depression. One great resource is the Trevor Project, which is a hotline specifically for LGBTQ youth. Their numbers 1-866-488-7386, and they are 24/7 just like NRS. It sounds like you have a good group of friends, but living with people who don’t understand or accept you can be really frustrating. It sounds like yo are thinkingabout running away, which could be a good option. However, it is possible that your mom could file a runaway report which means that if police found you they would bring you home. Running away is not illegal, but it can have negative effects with your parents.

    If you want more specific resources for your area, feel free to call us anytime. We are here 24/7, and are here to listen and help.

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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