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14 and hate my home life

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  • 14 and hate my home life

    My parents pick on my appearance constantly. They're making me miserable. They won't let me wash my hair everyday because I get ear and sinus infections. The only way my hair can look good is to be washed. So, I don't think it's right for them to always complain about my hair. They're threatening to make me get a boyish cut. I would look horrible. I'm a teenage girl and don't need a boy's haircut. I'm really scared and will runaway before I let anyone cut my hair that short. Years ago, they forced me to and I went around wearing a hoodie for weeks because I was so embarrassed. I won't let them do that to me again. My parents also give me a hard time about my make up. Either I'm wearing too much or not enough. My dad picks on me because I'm too skinny. I can't help it. I've tried to gain weight, but I can't. If my face breaks out, he insists it's my fault and has to point out every zit I have. My parents are in their forties and expect me to dress like them. I'm a teenager! I show them store webpages and magazines so they can see what an age-appropriate wardrobe is for me, but they say, "We're not dressing you like a hip hop whore!", or "That looks like trash." Two weeks ago, at school I was mistaken for a young student teacher because of how they make me dress. I always get compliments from my friends' parents and from teachers on my clothes, but I only care what my friends think about my clothes. This is getting to be too much. I truly think my parents are being ridiculous. They don't think sleeveless shirts are appropriate. For God sake, we live in Phoenix! When we have triple digit temperatures, I put on a tank top, anyway. My parents immediately start pitching a fit, and I tell them to go outside and see how it is. What I don't get is why they buy me clothes I'm not allowed to wear. They're just so stupid about this kind of ********, and I'm over it!

  • #2
    Thank you for writing us at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re here to listen and here to help. We are sorry to hear that things are tough for you at home. It sounds like there is an age gap or some type of cultural gap between you and your parents that makes it difficult for them to understand you. With regard to your clothing and hair, you would like to look cute in a way that is age appropriate. They are not seeing that. With regard to your hair, have they ever taken you to a salon where they can give you tips on how you can maintain a great style without washing it daily? Or, have they ever helped you search for a solution to your sinus infections with an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist that could allow you to wash your hair daily without getting those infections again? In that respect, your parents probably want you to be healthy and not go through the pain of those infections. They are just not seeing your desire to look and feel good at all times.

    As far as leaving home, it is understandable that you would want to put an end to being misunderstood. However, running away is a status offense, and it is not without its risks. A status offense means that it is illegal for you to do based on your age. The age of majority is typically 18, which means that youth are not free to leave home without parental permission or going through emancipation. Parents can file runaway reports that would alert the police nationwide that you left. Police typically return youth back home, but even that varies from place to place. Likewise, anyone who helps you can be charged with harboring a runaway. If you would like to learn more about a legal way to leave, such as emancipation, check out this guide: https://ctlawhelp.org/a-teenagers-guide-to-emancipation. It looks like in Arizona, the emancipation process can begin as early as 16. When you apply to be emancipated, you are showing the courts that you know how to take care of yourself—you are earning money, know how to pay rent and for your living expenses, etc. For emancipation, you can apply on your own or finding the nearest legal aid lawyer nearest you. In Phoenix, there is Community Legal Services legal aid, and their phone number is 1-800-852-9075 or 602-258-3434.

    We invite you to call or chat with us soon!

    Best,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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