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I need to leave but my parents will blame my boyfriend

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  • I need to leave but my parents will blame my boyfriend

    I am currently 16, and I live in South Carolina. I have a job as a waitress, I am involved in athletics, I maintain an A/B average at school, but I have been struggling a lot with my family. A week ago, someone I trusted told my parents that I have snuck out of the house and have experimented with weed. I understand that what I did was not a good idea, and I can definitely understand why my parents would be angry. However, things spiraled out of control a week ago when my mom and I got into a heated argument which resulted in her hitting me repeatedly and was trying to pull me out of the car by my hair. I managed to get away and I ran to a nearby store. I used their phone, calling my boyfriend, who has been my support through everything. He ended up telling my dad where I was, which would have been fine except my dad ended up being extremely violent with me to the point where the people at the store called the cops. My parents have never done this kind of thing before. Now that they are involved, I am not in legal trouble however my parents, my dad especially, is threatening me that if I do anything wrong, he will press charges on my boyfriend. My parents have taken every form of electronic from the house, they have taken my doors off of my hinges, they have told people that know me not to let me use their phones, etc, etc. I feel completely alone. They have told me that my boyfriend will no longer be a part of my life. I want to leave them, this family has caused me nothing but depression. I am unable to talk to anyone without my parents questioning me. But I know if I leave they will press charges against my boyfriend for contributing to the weed somehow, at least thats what the cops told my father. I feel completely empty, all I want to do is leave. My boyfriend is the only person who has stayed with me. But it has been so hard not talking to him. I dont know what to do. How long can my dad threaten to press charges until it becomes an empty threat? I turn 17 in 6 months and I know I can legally leave the house without the cops bringing me back. But I'm a minor currently. I just need some help, I'm starting to feel completely helpless. I don't want to ruin my boyfriends life by giving him a criminal record, but I feel so alone and depressed, I don't know how much longer I can live like this

  • #2
    Hello Julia, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things between you and your parents have been really tense lately. First off we want to say that abuse whether its physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, it is never okay and you do not deserve it and do have the right to report it. We want you to know that you do have the right to make a report with Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support.
    It sounds like you boyfriend has been your rock through this whole difficult situation. You mentioned that you are concerned that your boyfriend might in trouble for being involved in giving you weed. This does not sounds like something that either of you can get in trouble for. The police have to go off of more than just your parent’s word, they need evidence. If your parents are unable to provide them with any then they cannot take any action. We want you to know that you are not alone and that we care about you and what happens to you.

    We know that you mentioned that your parents have gone to some extremes to make sure that you are not in contact with your boyfriend but unfortunately since they are your guardians they do have that right. We are not legal experts nor are we affiliated with the police so we can only speak generally about what could happen if a youth leaves home without the consent of a guardian. Leaving home without parental consent (running away) is not a crime, so the police will not arrest you. If you do leave home without permission your guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. Running away is not a crime it is a status offence (something that only a minor can get in trouble for: truancy, buying cigarettes, etc.) this means that if you have any interaction with the police they will simply return you home. On the other hand the people that you are found to be staying with could face legal consequences that vary depending on your state. You can find out more about how runaway’s reports are carried out by contacting your local police department. If you would like we could contact your local non-emergency number for you or with you. Just give us a call and one of our trained liners would be happy to assist you. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      Thank you so much for the help, I wish I had someone here in person to help me through this. Is there any way you could give me information on the whole pressing charges thing? There isn't evidence that he was involved, but apparently one of the police officers on the scene got this idea in my dads head that they could charge my boyfriend for the contribution of paraphernalia since he is 17. How long can he keep using this as a threat? Can he even press charges? Thank you again


      • ccsmod10
        Super Moderator
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        No problem Unfortunately, we're not legal experts. If you call into our safeline, we can call out to your local police with you and help you find out more. Or we can look up legal aid resources in your area, as well.

        Best, NRS
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