I hate my stepdad

[ccsmod7]

Hi there,

Thank you for having the courage to reach out to us. We're sorry that you are going through this situation with your stepdad, and it is not okay at all for him to be doing these things to you. Touching you without your consent can be considered a form of sexual assault or abuse and you do not ever deserve to be treated that way. You have a right to control what happens to your body, and others must respect this no matter who they are. It sounds like you care a lot about your mom and her happiness, and it makes sense why you might worry about telling others. However, your safety and happiness is just as important. Your therapist would likely be a safe person to talk to about this, and mental health professionals can be helpful resources and outlets as well. Another helpful resource could be RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network), they have 24/7 confidential support and may be able to offer additional assistance for your situation. They can be reached online at https://www.rainn.org/ or via phone at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

NRS is also here to provide as much help and support as we are able. We are available 24/7 online at www.1800runaway.org (click on our chat button) or via phone hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Please know that you can reach out to us anytime, we are here for you!

Take care and stay safe,
NRS

My mother has been married to my stepdad for about 7 years and just recently i turned 18, he has been touching me in ways that i don't feel comfortable and when i tried to push him away he laughs and keeps going, i always tell him i’m going to tell my mom but he calls me a snitch and a baby. Sometimes he will touch me in front of my mom and i tell him to stop and my mother gets angry with me and tells me to be quiet, so he continues to do it. I am too scared to tell anyone and I have a therapist but I am scared and some type of embarrassment, i don’t want to upset anyone especially my mom because she has been happy in her marriage.

[ccsmod7]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and it sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stress at home. Know that you deserve to feel happy where you live.

You mentioned your difficult relationship with your stepdad and how you feel like your mom is not listening to you. That must be extremely hard to manage. We know you didn't mention any type of abuse (emotional, verbal, physical), but if for any reason you feel unsafe at home, you can always report that. We can help you do so.

Talking to someone you trust and who cares about you about how you're feeling can be a helpful idea, too. This can be a friend, a family member, a trusted adult at school, a counselor, a therapist, or anyone else you feel comfortable with. They know you better and might be able to help you navigate this situation.

Another option you have is to reach out to us to talk in more details about your options and receive further support through your situation. We can help connect you with resources in your area to reach out to for additional guidance.

Again, know that you can always reach out to us. Our lines (1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)) are toll-free, confidential, and always open. We also have a virtual chat option on our website: www.1800runaway.org.

Stay safe and stay strong,

NRS

I hate my step-dad,alot.I have absolutely no reason too,and I feel like a horrible person for ruining my moms happiness,I can barley get out of my room knowing he's there,I don't feel happy or comfortable in my own home,and what's worse to me is my mom knows how I feel but doesn't care.It feels like she chose a man over me,and I hate my actual dad even more than my stepdad,so I don't think it's because it feels like he replaced my dad,I just don't like him at all.I can't stand going anywhere that isn't school knowing he's gonna be there,and I need to know why I hate him so much

[ccsmod15]

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out to us at National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate and understand the courage it takes to reach out and let us know what is going on. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now and it is completely understandable to feel this way. You should never be put in a position where you are feeling this way. You and your sister, and everyone in the LGBTQ community, deserve complete support. It may be helpful for you to consider reaching out to us via chat or phone call so, we can learn a little bit more about your situation. For the time being, having a conversation with your step-father, or someone else in your family/house and letting them know how this behavior makes you feel, may be helpful. By no means should you have to hide your sexuality but, you should also feel ready and comfortable to share that with your family. If it makes you feel safer, establishing boundaries with your step-father and having another person in the room at the time of your conversations is an option. Help in the form of therapy/counseling could potentially be helpful in navigating family issues as well as daily life struggles. You may want to consider speaking to a counselor or social worker at school or, reaching out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). We are a 24-hour service and are available to help anytime. Chatting with us directly would give us the ability to address your needs more specifically, and we hope to hear from you soon. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS.

Be safe!

I hate my step dad he is a very homophobic jerk he once yelled at my sitter for giving a girl her number. I am also a part of the lgbtq community and I hate it and I stand up to only for him to tell me to shut up or he’ll hit me. My mom is almost completely blind to this unless if he hits me. My step dad says he is a supporter and then treats my sister bad bc she is gay.(I’m not out yet) and then he wants to be sexist and say “I’m the boss” and all that stuff. He also shoves the Bible in our face I don’t mind the Bible or anything but he just is so not picky about it. He once said that if one of us boys would come out as gay he would tie us up and beat us with a dildo and the rub us soft with the other thing that I don’t want to mention. He’s also a narcissistic and I just hate him.

[ccsmod6]

Hi! Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. So sorry to hear that things are not going well between you and your mom’s boyfriend right now which is probably making things very tense for you. If you feel like you can speak privately with your mom, it’s a great idea! Perhaps writing down what you would like to say to her will help as it will give you a real feel on what you will be comfortable sharing with your mom during your chat. Hopefully she will understand what you have to say.

As you are surely discovering being a 14 year old girl, hormones can often come into play in just about everything you are confronted with these days. It is really something you will get used to as you get older, but please be aware that if your ‘stepdad’ has never lived with a 14 year old girl before, he could easily just not know how to deal with what you’re going through! Again, in speaking to your mom about things, she will likely understand what you’re going through emotionally and perhaps can speak to her boyfriend about it.

Should you feel like you would like to get to us for more specific ideas of how to deal with what you’re going through, please feel free to reach out to us again. You can chat with us at www.1800runaway.org (chat option) or at 1-800-786-2929. After getting a bit more about your situation, we can look at our have a database of resources to see what we can find that maybe of more assistance close to where you are currently living. We are available 24/7 and are always able to be reached.

Thanks again for reaching out! Good luck in speaking to your mom. Please know we are always here for you to get in contact with us!

My stepdad well he is really just my moms boyfriend but everybody calls him my dad because they have been together for 7 years. Most of the time everything is ok but lately these past few months he has seemed so angry or aggravated over nothing. This morning I was sick I mean I was sweating I had a fever and my stomach hurt so my mom told me to eat something so I ate a slice a pizza and ended up giving to my dog because I didn’t think anyone would eat a piece that’s been half bitten, so when he saw the pizza was gone he called me a lying faker and this made me cry and now I’m starting to really hate him I mean I’m a 14 year old girl that stage is coming but no I really dislike him what do I do I’m scared to talk to my mom cause I don’t want to upset her, agin help me?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and it sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stress at home. Know that you deserve to feel happy where you live.

You mentioned your difficult relationship with your stepdad. It sounds like there is a lot of tension at home, which must be extremely hard to manage. You also mentioned the verbal and physical abuse that you have been enduring. Know that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Abuse of any kind is never okay and an option you have if your safety and wellbeing is at risk is to file an abuse report. You can also call out to us and we can help you file this report. If you are ever in immediate danger, know that you have the option to call out to 911. Your safety is our priority.

Another option you have is to reach out to us to talk in more details about your options and receive further support through your situation. We are not legal experts, but we can help connect you with legal resources in your area to reach out to for additional guidance. You can also always call out to your local non-emergency police with hypothetical and anonymous questions to gauge your options.

Again, know that you can always reach out to us. Our lines (1-800-RUNAWAY) are toll-free, confidential, and always open. We also have a virtual chat option on our website: www.1800runaway.org..

Stay safe and stay strong,

NRS

i hate my stepdad! me my mom and my little brother have had to deal with his bullcrap for 6 years!! he used to work in the armed forces, he fought in iraq and afghanistan. he also used to have a lot of scientific jobs: [...] (all of this was before my mom even met him) 6 years ago my mom met some guy at her job at a restaurant, at first i thought he would just be another guy that she would love for 3 months to a year and then break up with. but this guy was different because he was "funny", "smart" and "well built". when me and my little brother first met him we were shy and afraid but he was nice, so i spent some time with him talking about his life in alaska and me and my brother (kind of) grew to like him. fast forward a year and i really like him everything was going great, how ever my bio-dad and step mom weren't doing so well. by that time me, bio-dad, step mom and little brother have already moved houses once and were about to move again (due to a crappy landlord) not only that but our dog died recently, my step mom was expecting a baby and me and my brother would have no where to go while bio-dad and step mom were finding a new house. so my bio-dad made a deal with my mom and step dad that while bio-dad and step mom were finding a house, me and my little brother could live with them at my grand parents house. things worked out pretty well (for the most part.) for the first few weeks me and my little brother had to sleep in the basement, aside from the mice it was fine. fast forward 3 months me and my little brother have a new school and grandma and grandpa have a new house somewhere else, this is where things start to go down hill. bio-dad and step mom have a house now and my baby sister is now about 3 years old, we weren't able to live there yet due to financial and legal problems so were stuck at mom and step dads house. this is when mom and step dad have their first argument, me and little brother were confused but not too scared.
over the course of 2 years a lot of stuff happened: mom and step dads fights started getting worse over time (as well as me and little brothers relationship with step dad.) mom and step dad started all of these delusional projects where they would tear out the carpet so its just staples and wood underneath. my bio-dad and step mom lose a few more houses but still find time to hang out with me and little brother even during all of this. fast forward another 2 years and mom and step dads fights start to get really violent, they both would get drunk and would fight physically and end up punching holes in the walls and destroying furniture and when any one would confront step dad about it he would yell at us talking about how he "puts a roof over our heads and we have no right to disrespect him" and that "we are ungrateful pieces of sh#t". even getting to the point where if we would dare watch tv he would come up behind the couch and tell us how stupid and annoying we are and then start rocking the couch back and forth tipping its and almost crushing me and my little brother. my bio-dad and step mom have found a place to live but they need a while to get enough money to buy it. on my birthday that year my step dad got drunk, destroyed the kitchen, screamed at me and little brother, and never took accountability for it. fast foreward to 2022, the furnace broke recently and we have to live and my grandma and grandpas new house until step dad can get someone to fix it, my bio-dad finnally bought the house and we will be living there soon. but my step dad only got worse lately he has been getting even more drunk, destroying my GRANDMAS HOUSE WHICH IS NOT HIS, screaming at mom at the top of his lungs, calling us all p#ssy`s d#ckheads, he has stormed out of the house 3 times and when ever he does something he will blame us for everything the HE DID! my mom clearly is getting sick and tired of him, me and my little brother hate him and MY ENTIRE DADS SIDE OF THE FAMILY HATES HIS GUTS! i hate him and i want him out of my life for good. im only fourteen and i dont have a phone. what can i do?

[ccsmod16]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing what’s been going on in your family. We want you to know, first and foremost, you do not deserve to be abused, hit, or treated poorly by any of your parents or guardians.

It sounds like this is a very difficult situation to navigate, but you don’t have to do it alone. We’d be happy to discuss options and work with you to possibly find support for you through this time. Please feel free to reach out to us at 1(800) RUNAWAY, or you can chat with one of our crisis counselors online at 1800runaway.org. Take care, and we hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,

NRS

Hi my name is Riley I am ,12 my dad always blames me and hits me with a belt I got tooken away because he abuse me I got put in my mom's care and she abuse me all the time I was in a hospital for a week I got put back in my dad's house he always abuse me help please

[ccsmod6]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes great courage to reach out and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s been going on. As you mentioned in your post, it sounds like your stepdad can be very aggressive in his verbal and physical interactions with you. No one deserves to feel unsupported or unsafe in their home, especially when they ask for help. If you feel comfortable doing so, you may want to consider reaching out to us through our hotline either by phone or chat so that we can further discuss your situation in detail and possible options that might be right for your situation. For example, since you mentioned that you have thought about staying at your grandma’s or dad’s house, we could talk about whether or not you have told them about what’s been going on at home with your stepdad, and if so, what their responses have been. Some people find it helpful to confide in a trusted adult about what has been going on at home and you may want to think about if that would be something that you would fine helpful or comforting. Since you mentioned that your stepdad has pulled you down the stairs before, we could also talk about the possibility of filling out a child abuse report and what that might mean. These are just two possible options that you may want to think about and talk about with a NRS volunteer, but there is no pressure to reach out to us directly if you do not feel comfortable doing so.
We understand that this may be a difficult situation and we are here to support you during this challenging time. Please feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us at www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) to discuss your situation further. If you are ever at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You can also check out the website www.nationalsafeplace.org or text the word “safe” with your current location to 4HELP (44357) and you will right away receive the nearest Safe Place location that you can go to or be connected via texting to a trained counselor.
Be safe,
NRS

I hate my stepdad because he is to aggressive he keeps getting mad at me for doing nothing or walking slow today he just pulled me down my stairs and i was at the bottom of the stairs when he did i was on the fifth step and he also puts everything on my real dad like making my real dad buy me stuff and my stepdad forces me to do stuff like if i want to take a nap he makes me play outside when i dont want to and i get really tired of it but m mom is fine with it she sometimes does stuff to help me but she never does most of the time its really annoying if i have bad grades they say they will help me raise my grade but next thing you know my stepdad screams in my face everytime i ask for help

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for writing us here at NRS. We understand that it takes courage to reach out for help and we thank you for sharing some of what’s been going on. That’s a tough situation to go through. It seems like you are concerned about your stepdad and value your relationship with him. It’s great that you have your sister there for support. You mentioned that you thought your stepdad was going to hit you and that he screams at you a lot. You don’t deserve to be treated that way and we are sorry that you had to experience that. At any point you feel that you are unsafe or at risk of danger, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Additionally, you can report this to Child Protective Service (CPS). We are not experts but sometimes CPS will send out someone to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services). After the investigation, if CPS find that there is no danger, they may offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead.



Having a safe space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).



We’re here to listen and to help and hope you can reach out soon.