Welcome to the National Runaway Safeline Forum. Here you can post your questions, thoughts, and concerns about what it's like to be a teenager or a parent. If there's something you've been wondering about, please ask. Chances are good that a lot of other people have been wondering the same thing.
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We're sorry to hear that you're having some problems with your stepdad. We'd like to see how we could help you explore your options. The best way to do that is if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Or you can use our chat option on the main page of our website. Hope to hear from you soon.
My Step dad is the worst. This morning my step dad grabbed me by the jaw and lifted me up then shoved me to the ground and slapped me I hated him for a long time he also not too long ago grabbed me by my neck and lifted me up I almost suffocated I had no air I almost died. I don't understand why my mother never left him it makes no sense. He is a child abuser
Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. The way your step dad is treating you is wildly inappropriate and definitely, as you say, abusive. It is not okay for him to physically attack you in any capacity and what you’ve described is serious. It might be a good idea for you to consider filing an abuse report with the CPS or DCFS agency in your state. If you want to know more about the reporting process or what might happen, please do not hesitate to call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. They can provide you with information about abuse reporting. We can also help you file an abuse report if you want to. You can give us a call to do that or to talk more about what is going on and how we can help you by calling us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or by chatting us at 1800runaway.org. The situation that you are in sounds dangerous and we would be happy to help you figure out a safe place to go. If you are in immediate physical danger, please call 911.
I hate my stepdad he always yelling and he super mean I feel like I don’t belong I uset have anything I want now since he came I don’t have nothing he say I’m ungrateful moth********er but I don’t believe him.
Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like your stepdad is saying some really hurtful things to you and it's making you feel like you do not belong. That cannot be easy to deal with. Here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.
If you haven't, you might tell your mom if she is in the picture or any supportive adult in your life what is going on. It could help to have another adult advocate for you and intervene. You deserve to have your feelings heard and to be treated with basic human dignity.
You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your stepdad. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.
my mom recently got remarried after my dad passed away. my stepdad started out as the most awesome dad ever. lately, he’s been bugging me, calling me names, etc, and i’ve told him to stop, yet he doesn’t. my mom doesn’t do anything about it or just tells me to stop being such a whiny kid. it’s really annoying.
at this point, i don’t want anything to do with my stepdad. he and my mom have been arguing more and more lately, and it’s affecting me.
tonight, they were arguing over something. he’d been on the phone for nearly two hours, which, the reason why is a bit understandable. i’m siding with my mom though.
he called her some pretty awful names, and called her drunk (when she’s not), a **********, etc,etc. he threatened to divorce her and told her “good luck on being a single mom”. there was some other stuff also. i really don’t want to talk to him anymore.
You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your stepfather. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.
Be safe,
NRS
My stepdad smokes he drinks he is a alcoholic he's arrogent and yells my mom dosent do anything one time he assulted her by throwing a bag of beer fottles at her we callled the police he never went to jail the police said get councling they never did and theyre still together
Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry that your home life doesn’t feel safe for you. Your step-father seems like a very scary person, and it’s understandable that you want get away from him. If you ever feel like you are in immediate danger call 911. We can look for shelters or other crisis resources in your local area if you ever feel like you can’t stay at home, or we can talk about other places you might be able to stay. It seems like it can get very heated between your parents, maybe to a point that is inappropriate. You could call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at is 1-800-799-7233. They are experts on in handling and they might be able to offer you advice within your situation. If you want to talk more about your situation and what options you have or if you have any other questions please feel free to call us at 1-800-786-2929 we are 24/7.
I honestly hate my stepdad too. There are times when he's okay, and things are good, and we all get along, but more often than not he's being a dick, and I'm over it. He's such a selfish prick and has his head so far up his ass to the point where it's unbearable. My mom rants to me about all the bs he does, and he says things that hurt everyone around him, but then when you say something that even slightly hurts his "feelings" without meaning to, he can get all butthurt about it. To him, he's the ONLY thing that matters, the universe revolves around. THIS MAN - sorry, child - HAS A KID WITH MY MOTHER. Once you have a child, your life is no longer about just you. Hate to burst his bubble. If you want the truth, I never expected him to treat me like I was his kid. I could smell the bs when my mom started dating him. I knew he hated me, and he still does. He criticises everything I do, or say, or whatever. I'm in 4h and I show rabbits and beef, and he complains about that, even though I PAY for MY own animals and ALL of their expenses. I take care of them before I sit down to do my homework, or eat dinner. HE does not have to pay for them, HE does not have to care for them. So what gives him the ********ing right to complain? I wish I had the confidence to tell him straight up how things should be but, I'll hear about it from my mom. In the end, it's not worth my energy, anyway because he doesn't listen to anyone, but yet he expects EVERYONE to listen to him. I don't know, I'm just so sick of his utter bull********. And he's egotistical, and narcissistic, and rude, and I'm over it. I want my mom to leave him, and that's not me wanting things to be my way, or whatever, he's just so toxic and not good for my mom or my half sister. He's emotionally abusive, and I don't understand how my mom is okay with that. I wouldn't put up with that. My mom, half sister and I deserve more respect than that. He wants us to respect him even though he literally treats us like ********?! I don't think so! Well, I do think so because I'm so used to faking it for everyone, even though it may not be worth it. For example, he literally said to me mom "...There are days when I don't even want to come home... I don't want to ruin [Half-sister's name]'s life, but —" THEN ********ING LEAVE. SHE WILL BE SO MUCH BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU AND YOUR TOXICITY!!!!! I don't know. I know that I can't change anything, but it felt good to type this rant. Thank you to anyone who read all the way through.
Hello, thank you for sharing a bit of what has been going on. It sounds like you really are at your wits end with how to cope with living with your step-father. We are glad that you were able to find some relief with posting this bulletin. Often times being able to talk to others about issues in our live can make dealing with them a lot easier, it can even help you think of new solutions not previously thought of. If you would like to talk more about your situation please feel free to give us a call anytime. 1-800-786-2929.
Best wishes,
NRS
OK so my stepdad never minds his own business he took my phone for no apparent reason and think he can boss me around because he is with my mom . He even thinks he haves the rights to lock things up like this his house when its not i wish he would just get out my life forever i never wanna see him again!!!!!!
Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry your stepdad is taking your stuff and bossing you around. It does not seem fair for him to treat you like this as he is not your mother or parent. It makes sense why you are so frustrated with what is going on. It might be a good idea to talk to your mom about setting some clear boundaries for him. If you do not feel comfortable with the way he is treating you, your mom might sympathize with what you are going through and may be able to communicate to him how to mind his own business a little better. Something we can do is host a conference call between you and your parents. We can stand behind you and advocate with you so that you can feel like your mom hears what you are saying and understands these issues from your perspective. If you would like to try that, or if you would like to talk more about what is going on and what other options there might be, please don’t hesitate to call us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.
My stepdad and my Mom married 7 years ago. Ever since then , my stepdad has been extremely rude and arrogant towards me. I have an older brother and an older sister who he treats just fine. For some reason he as always had a hatred towards me- like he is constantly out to make me look like a horrible person. I am 16 years old, and finally able to realize that I should not have to put up with such emotional abuse. I try really hard to be the best kid I can be. I’ve never gotten into trouble, I get good grades, I am respectful, confident, and independent, and don’t require help much anymore. Sometime we’ll be just fine, and other days he will get into one of his moods and cause a sene but yelling call me names, weather it be in the house or in public. He’s called me a “drama hound”, “brat”, an “asshole”, “crazy” , “self absorbed”, “rude”, and “attention seeking”. He has also said that I am no longer welcome in our house, and stated “I don’t care what you have to say go talk to a counselor”. As a father figure to a 16 year old girl who is so vulnerable, I fine this unfair and unjust. He will poke and push me down until i’ve reached huge emotional breakdowns, and even then, keep going. I’ve learned it’s unnecessary to argue with him so ill stay silent and not say a word as he screams across the restaurant, or house, mentally destroying me. If I even dare open my mouth to stand up for myself I am immediately put to shame. I know this is wrong, and I’ve talked to my mom about it and she feels terrible about it, and has been seeking help but doesn’t know what she can do about it. As I talk to her she gets upset and I hate to see my mom so sad. She’s suggested a counselor, but I’ve tried it and I don’t like it. I just want everyone to be kind to one another and to realize that I am a person who deserves to be treated with respect.
Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension, no one deserves to be emotionally or verbally abused. You should be able to feel like you are respected and safe in your own home. You mentioned that your stepdad has told you that you are no longer welcome at home. We care a lot about your safety here at NRS, and if he ever throws you out of the house it can be considered neglect, which you have the right to report if you so choose. If this happens you can call the police or the National Child Abuse Hotline at 800-422-4453.
It sounds like your stepdad doesn't quite understand when you explain how his actions make you feel. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your stepdad and mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.
If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.
I am a 12 year old female. My stepdad verbally abuses my mom. And tells me I will End up in the hospital if I don’t take my insulin. He has an alarm set for when I am supposed to take it he usually reminds me and one day he just quit. He doesn’t care about me or my brother and sister. He made me want to runaway. But me and my brother and sister hate him. We do what he says cause our mom loves him but I’m not quite sure if he loves her. And he wishes that me and my brother and sister weren’t born and we all know that including our mom. I just don’t know what to do anymore and I just want to cry but I can’t or I will get into some trouble. And he scares me cause he has threatened to hit my mom before and whenever they fight I want to take my mom and just run until I can’t move. I just want to get away from him when every time he is at home.
Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It's definitely worrisome to hear that your stepdad threatens to physically abuse your mom whenever they get into a fight. We care a lot about your safety and if you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. It makes a lot of sense that you worry about insulin routine if your stepdad is no longer reminding you. It may be a good idea to set an alarm on your phone or on an alarm clock to remind you when to take your insulin. You may also want to speak with your doctor about the effects of failing to take your insulin and how to schedule injections.
It seems like your mom and your stepdad are having some trouble fully understanding you when you are trying to relay your thoughts and feelings about your current situation. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom (or stepdad, or both) so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.
If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.
Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.
Hi there,
Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes great courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out for help.
We are sorry to hear that you are having a hard time with your step dad. If your safety is ever at risk you can call 911. If you are being abused in anyway that is not your fault and you can consider filing an abuse report. You can call Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 and they can help provide you information on filing an abuse report. Talking to other people you trust like family members, friends and school teachers or counselors can be helpful as well.
If you chose you can contact us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-786-2929 and we can listen to you, help explore your options and provide any resources.
You are acting strong by reaching out for help. We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.
Sometimes I just want to run away because of my stepdad I have thought about it here lately and every time we argue we get in screaming matches and I used to like him a lot before my mom dated him he was nice before but now he is just a jerk I have really nothing to do with him only when he is being nice he is either around people and I just don’t like him anymore how do I tell him I don’t like him ?
Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It is frustrating when you thought you liked someone new in your life and then the relationship changes.
There are ways to try to better relationships like trying family counseling. Perhaps he would be open to going to some sort of therapy with you. Sometimes just suggesting that is a good way to signal that you know that there is a communication problem and you want to make an effort to fix it. Or perhaps there is another way to open the door to communication rather than shutting the door with directly saying you don’t like him. There certainly seems to be a glimmer of hope if you originally did have a good relationship. A psychologist might be able to get to the reason why it changed. If not counseling you could try any idea that includes trying to better improve your communication while doing an activity like fishing together. Just throwing in the idea of needing to bettering the relationship or bettering communication is a strong hint that something isn’t going well and you would like it to change which is a positive way to try to address it because it seems like you do want a way to get it out there.
Again, we are glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk more about your situation please feel that you can call us at the National Runaway Safeline 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or at our web site 1800RUNAWAY.org for a live chat.
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