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I hate my stepdad

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  • #61
    I know how you feel. My step dad is like that too and it really hurts. Calls names, always disrespecting, and only cares about certain people. I want to die everyday. Im sorry

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for reaching out! It sounds like you are having a hard time living at home with your step dad. We are glad that you are able to find common ground with other users. Often times being able to talk to someone with similar lived experiences can provide comfort that is lacking from other aspects of your life. We want you to know that we care about you and want you to be safe. Although we are not experts on the issue of suicide and if this is something that you would like to focus on then we can certainly provide you the number for the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-TALK they may be able to help you more because this is their area of expertise. They can help direct you towards support and or services for your needs. In the meantime, we hope that you can give us a call directly to get some emotional support.
      If you have any other questions or concerns please do not hesitate to call our 24/7 toll-free hotline at 1-800-RUN-AWAY.
      Best of luck!
      NRS

  • #62
    My step dad gets on my nerves! He is super annoying and every time i talk to him (which i dont do much anymore) he starts yelling at me and gets mad at me. He's always saying im arguing when im not, im just talking to him. He threatens to take away my volleyball and not let me go to practice and this Pi**es me off! he doesn't get it. all he does it complain about everything. My parents got divorced when I was 8 (im 13 now) and the year after that we moved and my mom got married to my stepdad. I didnt get to meet him before they got married and he didn't ask or anything. All of a sudden they were married and I was/am stuck with him being a bi*** to me 24/7. I will be in my room and he'll come in and just start taking things and he always gets mad at me when I leave my feminine products on MY bedroom floor. which i only do every once and a while when i go somewhere and unpack my bags. He is always complaining about the heat or the cold. Or he'll complain about me even though I don't really do much I just talk a lot but my siblings are always being loud and stuff. He tells me quite often to go live with my dad. I just stare at him because WHAT THE FU**!!!!! I don't have a DA** CHOICE! cause if I did I would definitely not be with him. I have had a bunch of people tell me things along those lines, or that imply that i should leave or am worthless. My brother used to tell me that when he got older he would buy a gun and shot me. My "best friend" asked me when I moved, "Why would you move if your so unhappy? You should have just told you mom you didn't want to come." Well guess what... I didnt get that option because my step dad got a job down here so he could be closer to his kids but didnt think about the kids he actually lives with. Just recently my Teacher got hit by a dump truck and died and my step dad was totally senseless. He got mad at me because I was crying and upset. Then just last week my best friend got shot and was killed and he is totally mean about it. making jokes and stuff. I am so sick of him manipulating my mom. She was a wonderful person before but now she just side with him no matter what. I dont know what to do and all i want to do is cry and scream and punch him or something. and i kinda wanna die but i cant do that to my mom. I have tried to run away but my step dad put a camera on the porch after i tried to do that. so im stuck.

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      We are so sorry you are going through all of that! It sounds really hard. Everyone deserves a supportive environment. It makes sense that you would be upset, since you didn't get a say in your current living situation, and it sounds like there are constant conflicts with your stepdad, and that he doesn't respect your boundaries. On top of that, you're grieving. It is really hard to deal with people you are close to passing, let alone suddenly, like what happened to your teacher and your friend. That sounds really traumatic. So you're really dealing with a lot, and it's great that you are taking steps to get the support you need.

      It's also great that you are acknowledging those suicidal thoughts, and we're glad that you've laid them aside. Still, if those feelings do get overwhelming, though, we want you to have some resources to call. There's the Suicide prevention lifeline. This can just be a number to call when you're overwhelmed. 1-800-273-8255. The National Alliance for Mental Illness also provides support via text. Text them at 741741. And we are available 24/7, so you can always call us. Our # is 1-800-786-2929.

      Maybe, a first step could be to think about what your ideal situation would be. Think about how you'd like your life to be. You mentioned that some people saying that you should leave and live with your dad were really not supportive. If you define what you would want, even if it seems hard to get to, then maybe we can break it down to steps to get there.

      Secondly, everyone needs good sources of support. Think if there are people who do provide that for you in your life. People who listen to you, and respect your opinion. Reaching out to them, and making time to talk to them might be important. If you can't think of anyone, think if there's people who have done a little of that and been kind. It might be a matter of reaching out, saying you need support, maybe to a relative, to friends, or people at your school.

      And we have a database of resources for counseling, including free and sliding scale counseling if you call us. Consider if it would be helpful to have someone to talk to about the hard things you are facing, both in your family, and the trauma of your friends deaths.

      Similarly, consider if family counseling might be a help to you, your mom, your stepdad, and sibblings. We also have free and sliding scale resources for that if you call us. Consider if there might be a way to work out better boundaries, and talk out the support you need, with your family and a counselor.

      Also, if you haven't already, you could try approaching conversations like that on your own, or with the support of an adult you trust, like another relative. For example, it's possible that your mom doesn't understand how your current situation has been affecting you. Think if there's a time when you're both not too stressed, that you could set aside to approach your mom about how you've been feeling. You could talk about the tragedies and how they've affected you, how your stepdad's behavior affects you, and the support you need. Maybe you two could come up with some ground rules for how he should act, and some specific things your family could do so you feel more supported. Sometimes conversations like this can help make things change.

      Lastly, you mentioned running away. We want you to have the contact info for National Safe Place just in case, for whatever reason, you feel like you need to leave. You can text "safe" and your current location (address, city, state) to 4help (44357.) They will reply with a location of a local business that is part of the safe place program, where youth can go when they are in crisis, and the number for a local youth agency. You can also text "2chat" to chat with a councelor.
      We are so sorry that you're going through what sounds like a really difficult time. We hope some of these ideas are a help to you.

  • #63
    My stepdad is the most annoying, destructive, bipolar, narcissistic person I’ve ever met. He hates me and he shows it. He doesn’t mind to show he hates me in front of my mom but when other family members come along he puts on a bs mask no one believes but everyone goes along with. Last time the family said something about my happiness he made us move and kept me away from my family for 3 1/2 years and still never said sorry TO ANYONE. He told me that he was the “Head of the Household” and said if I even said my family members names I would be punished I hate him

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, that sounds like a really hard situation, so thank you for reaching out to us today.

      It can be really difficult to be in a living situation where you aren’t getting along with your family members. While it can be really challenging, there are some things you can try in terms of coping with the situation that you’re in. You can always try to find someone to mediate some conversations with you and your step-father, either with an adult you both trust, or a counselor. If it does get to the point that you’re considering leaving home, you can always reach out to us to talk about the logistics of that, and to think of ways to stay safe.

      We’re available 24/7 and we’re here to help. You’re going through a lot right now, but you’re not in it alone.

      Best,

      NRS

  • #64
    So, I just found this site and I'm hoping I could as well gather some help for my situation even though I tried many times before and somehow I always get stuck thinking about wether or not I should say something, but in even when I don't I can't help, but feel this gnawing feeling eating away at me and I'm tired of feeding it. This feeling started since the time my mother and my father have gotten they're divorce and I'll admit that situation has really killed me to the point where I wasn't even doing great in school (basically, failing my grades nothing more) and where I just stopped caring about everything because I know that we'll never be a family I've never had and this feeling increased so badly when my step dad came into my life and it hurt me so bad when I heard they had a wedding meaning they're permanent and I tried to shake the feeling away because I wanted my mom to be happy, but before they gotten married he was a druggattic and she done somewhat of that when she was with him, but now that I'm living with them they're no longer in that sorta thing, but when they were doing that he once pushed my mom and hurt her while my younger sisters where living with them so my sisters called my dad when I was living with him at the time and he got mad when my step dad was taunting my dad through the phone so he went there not to save my mom, but to save my sisters from that horrible experience and they came home and they stayed with us for a few days, but when a stepmom came into the picture I just started feeling numb because I felt like she was taking my dad away and considering how close I felt to dad it hurt so bad, but then we had a half brother now and I adore him, but the thing is considering the fact that before my half brother was brought into this world me and my step mom weren't so very close so we didn't get along very well and it just got up to the point to where I was forced to live with my mother and my step dad now. my bio dad and i still talk and i'd go visit him every summer and christmas as much as possible and now that im living with them i just can't stand, but hate the fact that my mother and my step dad tries to get me to hug him or say " I love you ", but that never felt right and I only wanted to have 1 dad in my life and knowing that he's all I need and considering that my stepdad touches me like gives me a hug unkowingly or when he tells me to come to him and give him some "loves" it just hurts me to feel like I've betrayed my father even though I haven't done so and I love my dad most because unlike my mom and my stepdad he doesn't even ask anything about what they do he only asks if my well being is great with them, and my stepdad is so annoying too when he constantly repeats himself 10x just to get his point across and knowing how my mother has changed and became more of a strict parent she constantly keeps saying that she'll let up and be less restricting she hasn't changed at all. I tried to express and discuss the way I've viewed and felt things it just keeps ending in the same result of " Oh, well..." or " get over it " i just can't seem to and now that I'm 16 I'm still being treated as a 12 or 14 year old and it just sets me off and considering that I'm the oldest in the family I'm forced to carry all these responsibil ites and I just can't seem to do anything that a normal teenager would like going out with friends or being able to have these abilities where you don't even have to ask your parents to most things like playing the video games whenever you like or getting on the computer whenever you like, but she knows that I constantly keep telling her that i know better and I'm not going to ruin my life with such bad choices, but she's not letting me to do
    such things. She even forces me sometimes to do things I feel very uncomfortable doing or when she forces me to go somewhere I don't wanna go to because I have nothing to do with that place and I'll just feel bored and an outcast. Or that I just want to go back to live with my dad. I constantly feel restricted in a bubble that just won't pop and I poke it and knowing this it makes me feel angry and anxious and just so ready to flee and be free. There are times that I wish for my legal age to come already and she even makes to the point to where when I wish that when I finally turn 18 on my birthday the first thing I'm doing is getting the hell out of there and never look back... I don't wanna sound like I'm exaggerating or anything, but now that I got all this out I feel a little lighter, but even though I've tried getting it all out millions of times before its still no use when after a few days of going through the same cycle it just builds up again and I'm done feeling like I'm digging myself a hole I'll never climb out of... How exactly do i deal with this or what should I do?

    - Who ever made this site I'd like to say thank you.



    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe, NRS

  • #65
    okay, so my problem is NOT as big as the first their ones I’ve read and I feel like no one else’s story is like mine. I’m very confused. My moms boyfriend has not done anything wrong kind of. I’m eleven and he is only 23 or 24. My mom is 36. Anyway he thinks I’m bratty because I’m sarcastic with a lot of people and I chose to be with him. Bad idea, he thinks I’m being disrespectful. Like one time he asked me a question that wasn’t his business and I answered still with no while walking out he door to greet my mom. Then he said no, come back I asked you a question. And I said “ I know I said no” and not in a rude or mean way. He said okay. But then when me and my mom and my 10 year old sister got inside he said can u speak to you? I said sure not knowing and he basically said I was being very very disrespectful to him. I was so caught in the moment and now I don’t feel comfortable talking to him basically at all and if he talks to me I answer a quick and short response. Now, I’ve tried talking to my mom and she said that I’m just a kid which I get and she also said that her opinion is what matters about her life. Not really sure about that one. In the past a few weeks ago I tried taking to my aunt and my mom got mad and upset. Every time I try to talk to my mom she says I’m being rude or irrational. And I’m not trying to be and don’t really think I am. I also have a 13 year old brother. He just doesn’t really mind anything. Now the really hard part about this is that my mom has been through a lot of boyfriends and she says each one is “the one” but they aren’t. Now with this one specifically she says she’s gonna marry him and I haven’t met his family but my mom has and apparently they told her they were getting married in a few weeks after only have been dating for 2 months. Now my mom decided to say her wedding is this weekend in a few days and I don’t know what to do. I said really hurtful things like I don’t want to go and I hope you don’t get married and say no but she always says that my opinion doesn’t matter. I don’t feel comfortable talking to. Him or her about this anymore. I can’t talk to family or she’ll be upset and I’m starting to think about the school counselor. I really need some advice and quick please. Thank you! Oh and ps I do tend to cry all my feelings out and I do have friend drama and I’m a little overweighted for an eleven year old girl.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thanks for reaching out to us. We’re so sorry to hear that things have been so difficult at home, and we’re glad that you felt comfortable reaching out for support. It sounds like the situation at home with your mom & her boyfriend has gotten really complicated in a short amount of time. We can understand how it can be confusing and even a little frustrating when you see your mom struggling to find the right partner, because she’s looking for someone that will fit in with her AND her family. It sounds like you’ve tried to talk to her about the situation, but the conversation got a little heated and you said things that may have hurt her feelings, in addition to having to deal with some friend drama. Sounds like a really overwhelming situation! Thinking about approaching your school counselor is a great idea, and we would encourage you to explore whether there’s a school social worker or a school psychologist that might be able to help as well. From what you described, you’re experiencing a lot of change and that can make things like friend drama feel extra challenging.

      If you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to anyone at school, you can always try giving us a call. We won’t tell you what to do, but we will do our best to listen and help you figure out what you can do to cope with so much going on in your household. Whatever you decide, know that we are here for you. We won’t tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay safe with whatever you decide to do. You can reach out to us 24/7 by phone at 800.RUNAWAY (786.2929). We are also available every day via chat. We’re here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

      -NRS
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