I hate my stepdad

[Guest]

MY stepdad is so annoying rude and strict he’s made me depressed and so upset I just want to die and my mom always takes his side even when she knows he’s wrong I love my real dad a lot more he doesn’t do the ******** my step dad does but he took my phone all my internet away and that’s made me so depressed he doesn’t even care one time he hit me with a belt and he also forbid me from seeing my friends for a whole month took away all technology just because I stayed up until 3am cause I couldn’t sleep does he think I wasn’t trying to sleep when I was my mom’s always taking his side like when I ask for my phone back she’s like u can have it back today and he’s like no she’s grounded for a month and then my mom says he’s right no phone for a month and I’m so tired of her taking his side even when she knows he wrong they don’t care about me sometimes I think maybe if I was dead they would be better off without me. What should I do?

[ccsmod4]

Reply: MY stepdad is so annoying ....

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that can make it tough to know just what to do. It is important that you remember to exercise self- care. Your feelings matter and so do you.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. NRS is here to help and here to listen. If you would like to talk about how to cope with being grounded or establishing better communication with your family, we can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. So if you would like to speak more in detail and share about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
Reaching out took a lot of courage. Good job.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

I have a stepdad and i dont really like him. When i was about 3 years old my mom and dad split up to create a better arguement free life for me. At first my stepdad seemed like a really nice guy but ever since a couple of years ago that changed. He always calls me mean names and lets my little brother attack me and wrestle me. Which i dont want to hurt him but my mom and stepdad dont listen when i ask him to stop they just sit there saying that oh if she breaks your wrist we wont care. Now i understand that theres worst situations but i still struggle from being made fun of. I dont enjoy anything anymore. My step dad completely controls my life and i hate it.

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live into a home with so much tension. Everyone deserves to be respected.

You mentioned that your parents allow your little brother to attack you. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

My stepdad is a white supremacist//racists. If u talk to him he’ll say yeah not all black or Hispanic guys are bad cuz one of my friend Jose is nice but in reality, he only says that so he doesn’t look like the bad guy. My stepdad won’t allow me to date black males. Whenever I’m going out whether for after school stuff or hanging out with my girlfriends, he accuses me going to see guys. He told his real daughter and her family that I’m going to get pregnant before I turn 21. I’m currently 17, going on to 18 in a couple months. I don’t do drugs, I don’t smoke whether I’d be cigarettes or juul, I don’t drink, heck, I don’t even cuss let alone go sleep with a boy when I’m not even allowed to date. Like why would would you go and say that to other people about your own stepdaughter?? I went to homecoming one time with a boy during my senior year and when I was little I’ve always liked one direction and Justin Bieber, he’s coming with all these accusations. No matter what I tell him, he says I’m lying. I’m thinking about moving out once I graduate, and live with my big sister. We’re really close, relationship wise and she went through the same thing so she understands. I know you might think I’m being unreasonable and not respecting or loving my stepdad the way that I should, but you don’t understand the things I go through. My sis and I go to the store after I get out of work which is around 7:30, he says why we’re going to the store so late. And once again, our reason of going to the mall so late was cuz we were ‘going to see guys’. And when I say he thinks I’m lying to him, he thinks I’m lying to him about everything! And I’m saying EVERYTHING. He told me I’m the reason why we’re poor. When he doesn’t even pay for my school things except for school tax. I have to ask my mom for lunch money and my sis buys most of my clothes. He gets social security and other money for my being but he doesn’t wanna spend any of it except going to the grocery store and buy a ton load of his food for himself and his daughter and her family. He’s not abusive or anything but he’s killing my mental and heart health with all this arguing and accusations. I go to sleep crying about why my stepdad is such a terrible person.

[ccsmod6]

Hi there,

We’re really sorry to hear about your stepdad. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, and we understand how bad that can be for your mental health. It doesn’t sound like you’re being unreasonable at all, in fact it makes sense why you would feel that way because of what he’s saying to you.

Once you’re a legal adult, you can legally live wherever you want (in most states, you’re a legal adult once you turn 18. In Alabama and Nebraska the age is 19, and in Mississippi the age is 21). It’s really important though that wherever you end up you’re safe and have your needs met. It sounds like you and your sister have a strong relationship, which is great! Living with her could be a great idea, so long as it’s safe, you have a good place to sleep, you have food, and all that.

If you end up leaving but you don’t go to your sister, short- and long-term shelters can be good places to stay. There are also transitional living programs that give you a place to stay while they help you get a job and an apartment of your own. And if you plan on going to college, staying in a dorm could be a good option too. If you have any questions about your plan, or just want to talk about your situation, we’re always here to help. You can chat us at our website https://www.1800runaway.org/, or call us at 1-800-786-2929. We’re open 24/7 and are always confidential and anonymous. You can also respond on this forum, or send us an email. Good luck with everything!

-NRS

[Guest]

My stepfather always want to get me in trouble he beat my sister and her dad was mad he threatened to beat me he tells my mom lies he is nasty he always trying to scare me but those of you out there and your step dad is doing this talk to your mother and tell her what happened or your father he will probably do something about it it is a shame of the stepfather our doing this but we need a protest for the stepfathers to stop doing this to kids or other people it is not fair it is like they hate us every one who is thinking about suicide or worse don't let your stepfather get in the way every one is special for plenty of reasons I love you every one who step father does this

[ccsmod6]

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It shows a lot of strength to reach out to those being mistreated or abused and to lend them your courage and words of wisdom. We encourage all those are going through similar situations to reach out to 911 if they feel like they are in immediate danger or to give us a call at our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org. We are here to listen and here to help. Additionally, if you would like to know more about what abuse is or what reporting abuse might look like, you can also reach out to the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or at childhelp.org.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

i have a stepdad who i completely loathe. He is so annoying and he acts like he's trying to be my dad and I can't stand it. He acts so nice to other people but when he's around me and my brother he acts like a total ******. My mom acts like she doesn't care about us and she always ignores us. It has gotten to the point where we dont even talk and me and my mom are drifting apart i don't know what to do anymore.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Everyone deserves to be comfortable in their own home. It might be a good idea to reach out to additional resources like family counseling or school social workers.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

So it happened i had a vibe something was gonna happen and something did happen.So this is what happened:I slept in my mom and stepdads room (There was HUGE HUGE bug in my room and i was scared of it ) and i was on my ipad playing games and i put it away and i fall asleep.Then its weird cause i was half asleep and half awake then i feel something touching my butt(He grabs my butt) and im like what the heck i look under the bed cause i thought it was a ghost or something and i fall back asleep and it happens again.Then i see my stepdads and im like what the BEEP.Then i get up(hes filps to my mom when i get up) and by my room door and just sit there and think.I started to cry and it toke me forever to pull myself toghther and i started to get sleepy again and im like UGH.( btw he toke my moms spot of the bed) i got downstaris to get a cup of water i go upstaris and pull my blanket and pillow and sleep by the side my mom was sleeping by.And i felt like telling my favorite sister when we were coming home from school but i stopped myself.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and confusing situation at home. We are sorry you are experiencing that between you and your stepdad. If it does ever escalate or you think that your safety is in danger. You do have the right to report the abuse to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 (childhelp.org) . You can either do it yourself or call into us directly and we can support you through it. It is hard to say the result of reporting, but if you call in you can ask what the process might look like.

We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.

-NRS

[Guest]

i dont hate my stepdad i dislike him he beats me like he is my real dad he has treated me like that and ever since i was little my mom has forced me to call him daddy i despise that and after he beats me sometimes my mom calls me retarted or a mistake they both joke around like that and to be honest theyve been telling bs lies about me to my uncle thats the only one that helps me and supports me which i love im 11 and i want to switch my parents for my uncle sometimes my step dad is very abusive he threw a suitcase at my mom he slapped her and left some bruises on her he has tooken her phone to check if she has been cheating even though he has been cheating before please help me

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Everyone deserves to feel safe in their own home.

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

I hate my step dad because he always forces my mom to do things all the time mostly because of my step sister. He has temper problems and he has broken thre door in the house. He was yelling at my mom once bad words in front of me and my step sister and she is only 8. I told him to stop because she is scared of loud noises and will probably copy what he does at her mom’s house or at school but he told me..... SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTH! and I’m only 10. I’m fed up of him and I have been suspecting alcohol and drugs. He is a doctor that choose very bad and unhealthy choices. He does really unfair things like when I have been watching tv for only 5 minutes he orders me to go to my room and takes the remote and watches nasty things on the tv. My mom couldn’t take me to the beach with my aunt and go out for lunch because of him. He is at surgery and he is dropping my step sister off at my house. My mom offered to take her with us but he canceled our plans because SHE wanted to be home. His parents and everyone is on his side and there is nobody to help us. Please give me advice.
P.S divorce is against Christianity.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It sounds like it’s really hard to live with your stepdad. It seems like his short-temper and unfair rules make life uncomfortable. You must be a very strong person to go through this.

You mentioned that your stepdad has a short temper and has caused some damage to your home during fits of anger. We care a lot about your safety here at NRS and this raises some concern for your safety and well-being. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

I really don’t like my stepdad. My mom got a divorce with my real dad a few months before I was born bc he was an alcoholic and was always wasted. She met my stepdad when I was like 3 or 4, but she’s always lying to me saying that he was here since my birth. This man has 2 other kids that he had with another woman before he got married to my mom, and then he had 2 more with my mom. I cannot say this enough, but he makes the fact that I’m not his real child SO OBVIOUS. Since I was 6, you could just tell. For example, when he’s calling everyone for breakfast, he calls everyone in a happy tone, and then he waits until my food gets cold, and then he calls my name in that same cold tone. Every time I try to bring this to my mom’s attention, she always, ALWAYS takes his side. It’s honestly so annoying. And yesterday I sprained my ankle during basketball and I tore something, my mom said he should take me to the doctor, but you know what he said? “no she’s fine, she’ll just put ice on it.” We got home and he literally just sat there on the couch watching TV while I was in pain. It was my uncle who came and put ice on it for me. Today I was in my room and I struggled to get out of bed bc not only is my ankle sprained, but my muscles are sore from going to the gym the night before. No one came in to help me, no one made me breakfast, and at lunch, he served all of his children BUT me. They all ate at the dining room table and acted as if I weren’t there. Then my mom came home from work, and she didn’t even come to me until 3 hours after she arrived. They were all just in the living room, having a great time without me. It doesn’t even bother them that I’m in here in pain. So I cried. I cried because I lost my full ability to do things for myself and I clearly cannot count on anyone else to do it for me. Then I had suicidal thoughts but I was too weak to even move forward with those. I haven’t eaten in a whole 26 hours, and I honestly... I don’t want to be here anymore. I hate this family, and I hate this house.

[Guest]

I feel the same thing. My moms 2nd husband is Terrible, and my mom always takes his side. I hate this, and honestly one of these days I might kill myself. (Just to let all of you know, I have tourretes and ADHD) He tells me a lot when I forgot things I didn't do that I am lying about. 1 Example is how today i forgot to fill the fridge with water bottles when I assumed I had due to me doing my regular chores in the morning. While I was sitting in my chair playing my game, he comes In my room asking me why I haven't filled the Fridge. Me, Under the assumption that I filled the Fridge, tell him that I "Thought I Did." He them tells me to turn off my game and tell me that Im Lying. He then goes into the bathroom with his phone and tells me to fill the fridge. I hear him talking to someone, and when he comes out, he asks me why I was lying. I tell him, again, that I was under the assumption that this morning I had done it. He tells me to shut up, stop lying, and that I cant get on my game for the next 2 days for lying and bringing my mom into it. I am now using my chrome book to post this reply. I do, however, Have something I can use against my Illegitimate Step Dad If this staff believes I should. In January of 2018 I was sitting in my chair, doing god knows what. He comes in my room and says something to me. After he leaves I go on to say something to myself on something that was happening on the TV. My Illegitimate step father decides to run back to where I was sitting, and grab me by my neck and push me back in my chair until I couldn't breathe, screaming and spitting in my face as i'm attempting to stop him. As he feels me go limp, he lets go with fear that I will pass out, and leaves my room as though nothing happened. Out of fear of the corrupted Judicial system, or If I would actually win the case, I do not call the cops, should I call the police and press charges? I am 14.

[ccsmod6]

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of courage to tell us about what’s going on in your life. It sounds like it has been really frustrating living with your stepdad, who has been mistreating and not listening to you. Also not having your mom support you ever must be infuriating. You don’t deserve to be verbally and physically abused by anyone. You deserve a safe environment and it seems like you have also considered making a child abuse report against your step dad. But ultimately, it is your decision to make.

If that is an option you want to pursue, you can reach out to Child Help and can be reached by calling 1-800-422-4453 or by going to their website at childhelp.org. There you can talk to counselors who are available 24/7 who will be willing to talk to you about the abuse and would be able to give you more information about filing a report and what that looks like. We also understand that making that kind of call can be overwhelming and we can help support you while doing it. What we can do is advocate for you and clear up any confusion while on the phone. If that is something that would interest you, you can call us first on the National Runaway Safeline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Also always remember that if you ever feel like you’re in immediate danger, don’t hesitate to call 911.

It is understandable that the stress you’ve been going through has been overwhelming. It sounds like this has been going on awhile and has lead you to feel desperate or depressed. But your life is worth living. Just because things are terrible now, that doesn’t mean that the future will be the same. If you ever do feel like you want to harm or kill yourself, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. We are also open to talking as well and you can trust that every call with us will be nonjudgmental, confidential, and supportive with your interest in mind. Your safety is our priority.

Please feel free to talk to us anytime on our 24/7 hotline (1-800-786-2929) or through our messaging service that can be found on our website at www.1800runaway.org. Thank you again for reaching out to us again. We hope you found this information helpful.

[Guest]

Now that my stepdad touches me grossly.I get angry and i got stubborn and mean.I hurt myself on purpose and go to school like that and get my stepdad in trouble.I do witchcraft to make my stepdad sick.Its working.I cant help this awful energy.People are always:Where is the shy,Smart and nice girl? That weak little ********** that always sat alone and always got beat up by those **********es at school? She's gone.I always be up crying til the morning and i feel like i can't trust any male and i feel like i'm like i'm the devil.But i'm not

[ccsmod5]

Hi,
Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re dealing with a really difficult and dangerous situation with your stepdad…we are so sorry to hear that you are going through this. It looks like you reached out to us back in December and we provided some resources; were you able to talk with anyone at either RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network at 1-800-656-4673) or Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453)? Either of these organizations can help you in reporting what sounds clearly like sexual abuse. You mention that you’ve gotten your stepdad in trouble. You can also talk with a school counselor or teacher. They are mandated reporters and must file abuse reports if you reveal the abuse to them. We can also help you in reporting these incidents. You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are available 24 hours a day/7 days a week, and we are here to listen and help.
You talk about hurting yourself. If you are looking for ways to move away from this behavior, you could check out this website: https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/resisting-cutting.html. These strategies might be helpful. We really want you to keep yourself safe and healthy.
You are very brave to reach out for help, and we are here if you want to talk. We hope to hear from you. Please stay safe.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I need to really hurt my stepdad that the only way to get him to stop hurting me and my sisters.HE made ME like this.

[ccsmod5]

Hi, we are very glad that you reached out to us. It sounds like your situation is very serious and volatile. We strongly hope you will call our hotline to talk this situation through. By continuing to reach out to us, you can avoid hurting your future by hurting your stepdad. Our hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
You shouldn’t have to live like this with you and your sisters being hurt; and for the situation to come to this point means that no one is listening to you. We are. We believe you. We can also help you think of another way to stop him hurting you. A slower route is to either report on your own behalf to your state’s child abuse hotline, or we can help you do that, or you can tell a teacher or counselor at school.
Two options for immediate help are that you can call the police when he’s hurting you, but if you don’t trust that, you can contact www.nationalsafeplace.org. On the site, you can search for a Safe Place by your zip code, and take yourself and your sisters there, and following the instructions on the site, a youth crisis worker will meet with you all and help you. They also have a text option for immediate aid.
We hear you. We believe you. We are here to listen and help.

[Guest]

My step dad took away all my contact with the world and hit my mom please help me

[ccsmod7]

Thank you so much for reaching out-it takes a lot to do so. It sounds like a lot of upsetting and troubling things have been going on especially involving your step-dad. Having all your contact with the world taken away may feel really isolating. And it sounds like the fact that your step-dad hits your mom concerns you, which is totally understandable because no one deserves to be treated like that.

It is concerning to hear about the hitting going on. And we want you to be safe. Has your step-dad ever hit you? Have you ever spoken to your mom about how your step-dad’s behavior makes you feel? Or have you ever spoken to a school counselor or something along those lines to get some support? We would encourage you to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 if you would like to talk further about what has been going on. Furthermore, feel free to give Child Help a call at 1-800-422-4453 if you would like to talk a bit more about the hitting.

Again, we are really glad that you reached out. It takes a lot to ask for help. Please do not hesitate to call or chat with us because we are here to listen and here to help.

[Guest]

Thanks For helping me and my family.My stepdad still lives with us sadly but thanks. (: