I hate my stepdad

It was always my mom, older sister and I before my stepdad came into the picture. I actually had a pretty good bond with him and got along with him very nicely. They ended up getting married and at first everything was fine. My relationship with my stepdad became so strong I told him I wanted his last name. One day we got into a fight and I don’t even know what it was about(probably something stupid). I remember screaming at him “ THIS IS WHY I DONT WANT YOUR LAST NAME ANYMORE!!!” I know I might of hurt his feelings but he really pushed me to the edge that day. From then on everything was downhill. We would get into smaller tiny arguments that weren’t a big deal but because of the tension between us it became explosive. This has lasted for about 5 years now. Sometimes we will go a long period of time without fighting but them something always happens where we fight and it’s a big one too. Recently my stepdad and I were fine with our relationship. We weren’t really fighting but more of just like I see that person but I’m just not gonna say much. His dad is in the hospital right now and the doctors think he has lung cancer. I know that this is a hard time for him so I’ve been trying my best to be nice to him. Last night though me and my sister were having a “sleepover” in her room. I came up once from the downstairs( that’s where her room is) to get water and take out my contacts. Then I was in her room for another few hours. When we were about to go to step I didn’t want to sleep on her bed so I decided to go back to my room. I was about to fall asleep when I heard my dog scream. I came out to see if he need to be let outside or if something bad happened to him. My stepdad sleeps on the couch right now for some reason and so I wanted to see if he was ok as-well because maybe something happened between him and the dog. Literally as soon as I step outside my door I was startled by my stepdad screaming “GET BACK IN THERE. Your making to much damn noise.” He then started walking towards me and I thought he was going to hit me so I went into my room and locked the door. While he was walking towards me he was screaming and cussing at me and even woke up my mom and sister. Once I was in my room he continue to talk about me and cuss me out and my mom was wondering what was happened and basically took his side. I was so scared and didn’t know what to do. My sister texted me asking what happened and I told her and she said that she would let me sleep with her but she didn’t want me to get yelled at again. Anyways I just don’t know what to do about this situation. I know that I want to talk to my mom about it just to clarify what all happened. But I just don’t know what to do about my step dad. He snaps at me like this all the time and my mom seems to only take his side and it makes me mad. I know my stepdad is going through a hard time but that does not excuse his behavior towards me. I just and confused and need some guidance with this situation.

He's so annoying and I know there have been worse people with worse stepdads than mine but still. My stepdad is so annoying and it's to the point where we don't even want to acknowledge each other anymore. He uses my private stuff and when I tell him to stop my mom always gets in and tells me "you have to respect adults!" And threatens to spank me or something! It makes no sense. My parents divorced when I was about four years old (I'm 13 now) and my dad has not gotten married yet,but about one year (I think) after they divorced my mom got re-married. He was okay until he constantly called me names and messed with me so much even though I told him to stop, and my mom just sat there and did nothing. She always either sided with him, or she doesn't do a thing at all. And I'm sick of it! Multiple times I've talked to her and expressed my feelings to her about him, and every time she's either like I will talk to him" (which she never does) or "oh well get over it". To be honest it's like she never sees anything wrong with him but I do. He's fed my little brother my breakfast before, and when I told him it was mine, he was just like "oh whoops" (basically). Now don't get me wrong, I love my little brother (he's 2, almost 3) but I don't love it when he won't let me play with him, touch him, or give him my private stuff to use as toys or to bath with. And before my brother was born, if I left something on the couch or my shoes were on the floor, HED THROW IT AWAY!! Once when I was like 7 or 8, I had one of those cute little kids play computers and I loved it! I left it in the kitchen once because I went to the bathroom, and I come back to find it in the trash!! That was a birthday gift to me! And yesterday he ripped my phone out of the charger and threw it on my bed for literally no apparent reason like I was literally just watching a movie and next thing you know my phone was gone! Whenever I get upset at him, he acts like he can do whatever he wants to me, like hit me or something! He hasn't yet because whenever he says that he will, I always remind him that he's not my dad and he has no right to put a finger on me. But instead of him, my mom tries to get me in trouble on behalf of him (cause she's my mom and she has a right to put her hands on me). I'm seriously just tired of her taking his side even when he's the one in the wrong. Like I'm 13, he has no right to be messing with a female teenagers' stuff, ESPECIALLY when he's not my dad. My dad doesn't even do any of this stuff. My dad respects my privacy and he knows that I'm 13 and am capable to have my own stuff without others having to mess with it. He always asks before he uses something of mine, and he always knocks before coming into my room, unlike my stepdad. My dad is aware that I don't really like my stepdad but we never really talk about it cause usually I and my stepdad try to not interact with each other, and also because I'd rather not spend my time with my awesome dad talking about my awful stepdad. Although I have mentioned a couple of times that my mom always takes his side, that's about it. Sometimes I wish I could just live with my dad, but he's busy a lot, and I don't just want to leave my brother. I always say that I can't wait to move out, or that when I'm 18 I want to just file a restraining order on my stepdad cause I'm tired of him even being in my life. In my opinion, the only thing good that's came out of him being in my life is my brother and stepfamily. But that's about it. What should I do?

I think you should just ignore him really like you´ve been doing because it's not much you can do. My mom is scared of my stepfather because of him she has lost her voice, and it looks like it's like that with you too, so what you need to do is help your mom open her eyes, and you lucky my dad left me when I was little so at least you have your real dad. So just keep hopes up with your dad

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

I hate my stepdad dad and he is a little creepy cause one time I was going inside my big sister room and he was in the dark staring at me I already saw him before the lights was off and he treats my brother and sister's diffrent he is like yall so funny (brother's and sister's ) Oh hi you and then he hit me today cause I had slapped my brother cause he keep look at me and told him to stop but he did not listen so at that point I was mad so I had did it but then he got angry and I said I was going to tell on me but then mystepdad had came up stairs and had hit me in the head and when my sister plays soccer when she take her to her practice he says he wanna punch in the face he wanna hurt me and everything and my sister had told me that but anyways then sometimes he can nice and sometimes mean and cranky just irate me sometimes and just scared to tell my mom about thisome and the reason why is because she has been in so many relationships so I'm a scared and at this point I want his to leaverify our family for ever and I do not want to cry in front of him cause I am showing him my weakness I JUST REALLY HATE HIM RIGHT NOW!

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It was incredibly brave of you to reach and ask for the help you need. Please know that you should not have to live in an environment where you feel the need to silence yourself at all times. Your ideas and thoughts matter and you should be allowed to express them as you wish. Please know that “duck taping my mouth shut very tight” is not the only option. First, If you ever feel you are in immediate danger, please do reach out to 911.

One resource we suggest is looking into the nonprofit organization, ChildHelp, 1(-800-422-4453) or www.childhelp.org, an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed and who are in difficult situations. The National Alliance for Mental Health is a nonprofit organization that seeks to support individuals with their mental health. If you need, you can always access their resources and look up free mental health therapy on their website, https://www.nami.org/Home. Additionally, you can always call, text or email NRS services. You can reach us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or through our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7, and are always happy to listen, and to help.

Best of luck,
NRS

I don't always get along with my stepdad and when we aregue and I wish not to respond to him I sometimes see taking a roll of gray purple white and pink duck tape wrapping etch roll of duck tape around my mouth frocebly shutting my self up cause there are times where I get into fights with my stepdad and don't want to talk to him when that happens 25 layers of duck tape is my mouths best friend. Anyone who has a argument with there step and don't wish to speak to them I would recommend duck tapeing your mouth very tight making your self unable to say anything at all but only if you see duck tapeing your mouth as the only way. A lot of times I view duck tape on my mouth shutting me up as the only option plus duck tapping my mouth shut very tight so I can't talk scream or make any sound at all makes me very happy

[ccsmod15]

Hi, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you have some real challenges with your stepdad. We definitely understand how hard that can be. And we can also understand how difficult it is with your mom far away. You don’t specify what the conflicts with your stepdad tend to be about. Have you considered talking either with him or your mom, simply about what you’re feeling in this relationship, rather than the issues that cause friction? We know that can be challenging, but sometimes simply expressing a feeling can go a long way toward relieving tension. We’re also wondering if you have others you can talk with about your experiences? That could also be really helpful with the anxiety you’re experiencing. If you ever need to talk with someone, we are here to chat or call 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Good luck!

my stepdad really hates me,but still cares about ne but i know he HAS to cuz some force reasons,but i hate him,i lived with for more than 10 years,i cant stand him,he always be rude to me,he's better with my siblings(younger brother and sister),he forces me to do what he said.My mom is working in another country,she told me if there is any problem with him just tell her,but i dont,if i told her,i'd in trouble because it just make the problem worse,i know she cant do anything ,im just stuck here and live through day in axiety and worrying everything

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline Forum. Sounds like you’re living in a really tense situation with your Stepfather and that’s too bad, especially as your mother wants to keep the peace in the house. It’s been a tough year for everyone with the pandemic and hopefully things will settle down as the world goes back to normal. You seem like a smart enough kid to be able to sit down with both your mom and your Step Dad to talk about how you’re feeling. At 14, you have a good four more years to go until you are off to college so making the best of the time will be good for everyone. Maybe discuss responsibilities you can take on as you get older which could show your Step Dad that you want to participate in keeping the peace. That also will show your younger siblings ways in which THEY can help by putting away the cereal and cleaning up after themselves! Hopefully every one working together will make home a happier place.


Again, thanks for reaching out to NRS. We have lots of resources in our Database we can look into if your situation doesn’t get better. Family counseling might be a route to go and we can zero in on places close to where you live for you to contact. We are available 24/7 at 1-800-runaway and via chat (via our website www..1800runaway.org) so please stay in touch. Meanwhile, it starts with being honest and talking with one another and by reaching out to NRS, it shows that you want to make things better. Good Luck!!!

Right so basically I'm getting told off all the time for no reason like today. I was just hanging around playing my game and doing my thing until my step dad turns up and says that I don't have it today because I left the door unlocked and my mum just has to agree because hes the "boss" if the family. I'm just VERY annoyed. I've been on my ps4 like this for months and he never says so he just wants to cause arguments which he wins cos I'm only 14 and that I am the blame for everything. Right so what happened was I got home because I get home before everyone else, I didn't know the lock was locked when I entered because it normally locks itself sometimes, went upstairs and went on my ps4. As soon as my step dad arrives he's like "give me your controller" and I'm like why what have I done, then he makes an excuse to cause an argument as he does and then blames it on me. I've put up with him for nearly 8 years now (I'm 14) and everyday even if it's not because of the lock, which is the most stupidest thing ever, he'll blame everything on me like its my fault if the cereal is out even when my brother or sister used it after me like I'm so mad.

[ccsmod3]

Hello,

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We recognize that it takes great courage to reach out when you are experiencing a crisis, and we are happy to listen and help.

Thank you for sharing your current situation with us. It sounds like you have been experiencing a lot of difficulty with your stepdad, and this has been taking up a lot of your headspace lately. Living in a toxic and unsupportive environment can be extremely draining and frustrating. If you have any close friends or other family members/adults in your life that you trust, it may be a good idea to speak to them about what’s going on. Oftentimes just venting your feelings to someone who knows you can help a lot.

You also mentioned some behaviors of your stepdad that raise concerns about your safety, such as physical harm. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We can file a report on your behalf, or we could call CPS together and be there as an advocate for you as the report is made.

If you would like to talk more in detail, please call us at 1800-786-2929, or chat online through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive - you know your situation best, but we are happy to listen and provide resources to help you make an informed decision about next steps.

Thank you again for reaching out. Stay safe,
NRS

I honestly have alot to say about my stepdad. I am currently 14 years old and my stepdad has been me and my brother since i was a baby and my brother was 5. When i was younger i had always thought my stepdad was my real father and my mom didn't say anything about it. He treated me good when i was younger but as soon as i got older, around 10, i started to find things out that he was not my real father and grew to dislike him. My stepdad is currently in the military and has been going in and out of my life. When i was 11, he came back to my mom after being out in the sea for 2 years i think, and wanted for us to move to California, which me and my brother did not want to do. He thought he could come back into our lives and take us far away from my grandma and uncles.(They were broken up then got back together when he got back over-seas), then once we moved to California, my mom, brother, and me hated it over there. My mom had to quit her job that she loved and could not find any job in california for 2 years. California was horrible, my stepdad and mom fought alot, my brother ran away 3 times, and my stepdad was always hard on me. He was so strict because of the military and maybe if he hadn't gone to the military he wouldn't be like this. He always threatens to hit me for the most dumbest things like if i turn off the A/C he would whoop me. Like what the hell? then he always expects me to change my personality and be a "good girl" he thought he would change me and my brother once he got back with my mom. I am a very aggressive, mean and troubled girl and have been like this for years, and he thinks that hes gonna change me in 1-2 months. I have very deep hatred for him and always tells my mom something that i did and its so annoying because he cant ever keep his mouth shut about anything. Hes a very loud person and i know my mom dislikes it. I don't think my mom ever loved him. He always gets mad at her if she does something that he didn't like. He always thinks that he knows everything and it gets my mom, my brother, and me very annoyed. I actually enjoyed California because i had lots of friends in school and the sight of the mountains were very beautiful. Then i find out we have to move AGAIN, meaning i had to leave my friends and my boyfriend behind. I hated it. I hated that we always had to move places and i never had any bestfriends that i would be with for a long time. I am currently in Virginia and i hate it over here. My stepdad is more strict on me then ever. My brother is now 18 and always says hes gonna beat up my stepdad which i cannot wait to see because we have despised our stepdad for a very long time. I now have a baby step-sister who i adore very much. He treats her differently then he does to us, maybe because that is his biological child. He always threatens to hit me and my brother even though we are much older and shouldn't be treated like little kids anymore. I never get anything i want and always has to ask his brother for stuff. Yesterday he said i was getting a flip phone like bruh hell to the no i am not. He's broke and always says he would get me stuff if i had better grades. Bruh not everything has to do with grades. I have had the same clothes since i was in 6th grade and hate it. i am almost in highschool now and cant wait to start working so i can buy my own stuff since none of my parents give me anything i want. Both my parents are broke and i hate it. I honestly hate the way im living right now. Im sure my brother does also because thats all me and him talk about. I dont know why my mom is still with him if she hates him. My mom didn't even want to have another baby and my stepdad did which is not fair. My dad was around when i was a baby also but my mom left him and did the same thing with my brother's dad. Me and my brother are half siblings. My mom has been with around 8 guys. I have never had a father figure and during my whole childhood i have called multiple guys my "daddy". Even during my relationships with guys, i am more attracted to older guys and have called them daddy also. Would this mean Daddy issues?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

My step dad is a prick. He threatened the hit me and started squaring up to me so I pushed him outa my face and he then actually hit me, and then we ended up having a fight and he put me in hospital.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS