I hate my stepdad

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It was incredibly brave of you to reach and ask for the help you need. Please know that you should not have to live in an environment where you feel the need to silence yourself at all times. Your ideas and thoughts matter and you should be allowed to express them as you wish. Please know that “duck taping my mouth shut very tight” is not the only option. First, If you ever feel you are in immediate danger, please do reach out to 911.

One resource we suggest is looking into the nonprofit organization, ChildHelp, 1(-800-422-4453) or www.childhelp.org, an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed and who are in difficult situations. The National Alliance for Mental Health is a nonprofit organization that seeks to support individuals with their mental health. If you need, you can always access their resources and look up free mental health therapy on their website, https://www.nami.org/Home. Additionally, you can always call, text or email NRS services. You can reach us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or through our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7, and are always happy to listen, and to help.

Best of luck,
NRS

I don't always get along with my stepdad and when we aregue and I wish not to respond to him I sometimes see taking a roll of gray purple white and pink duck tape wrapping etch roll of duck tape around my mouth frocebly shutting my self up cause there are times where I get into fights with my stepdad and don't want to talk to him when that happens 25 layers of duck tape is my mouths best friend. Anyone who has a argument with there step and don't wish to speak to them I would recommend duck tapeing your mouth very tight making your self unable to say anything at all but only if you see duck tapeing your mouth as the only way. A lot of times I view duck tape on my mouth shutting me up as the only option plus duck tapping my mouth shut very tight so I can't talk scream or make any sound at all makes me very happy

[ccsmod15]

Hi, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you have some real challenges with your stepdad. We definitely understand how hard that can be. And we can also understand how difficult it is with your mom far away. You don’t specify what the conflicts with your stepdad tend to be about. Have you considered talking either with him or your mom, simply about what you’re feeling in this relationship, rather than the issues that cause friction? We know that can be challenging, but sometimes simply expressing a feeling can go a long way toward relieving tension. We’re also wondering if you have others you can talk with about your experiences? That could also be really helpful with the anxiety you’re experiencing. If you ever need to talk with someone, we are here to chat or call 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Good luck!

my stepdad really hates me,but still cares about ne but i know he HAS to cuz some force reasons,but i hate him,i lived with for more than 10 years,i cant stand him,he always be rude to me,he's better with my siblings(younger brother and sister),he forces me to do what he said.My mom is working in another country,she told me if there is any problem with him just tell her,but i dont,if i told her,i'd in trouble because it just make the problem worse,i know she cant do anything ,im just stuck here and live through day in axiety and worrying everything

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline Forum. Sounds like you’re living in a really tense situation with your Stepfather and that’s too bad, especially as your mother wants to keep the peace in the house. It’s been a tough year for everyone with the pandemic and hopefully things will settle down as the world goes back to normal. You seem like a smart enough kid to be able to sit down with both your mom and your Step Dad to talk about how you’re feeling. At 14, you have a good four more years to go until you are off to college so making the best of the time will be good for everyone. Maybe discuss responsibilities you can take on as you get older which could show your Step Dad that you want to participate in keeping the peace. That also will show your younger siblings ways in which THEY can help by putting away the cereal and cleaning up after themselves! Hopefully every one working together will make home a happier place.


Again, thanks for reaching out to NRS. We have lots of resources in our Database we can look into if your situation doesn’t get better. Family counseling might be a route to go and we can zero in on places close to where you live for you to contact. We are available 24/7 at 1-800-runaway and via chat (via our website www..1800runaway.org) so please stay in touch. Meanwhile, it starts with being honest and talking with one another and by reaching out to NRS, it shows that you want to make things better. Good Luck!!!

Right so basically I'm getting told off all the time for no reason like today. I was just hanging around playing my game and doing my thing until my step dad turns up and says that I don't have it today because I left the door unlocked and my mum just has to agree because hes the "boss" if the family. I'm just VERY annoyed. I've been on my ps4 like this for months and he never says so he just wants to cause arguments which he wins cos I'm only 14 and that I am the blame for everything. Right so what happened was I got home because I get home before everyone else, I didn't know the lock was locked when I entered because it normally locks itself sometimes, went upstairs and went on my ps4. As soon as my step dad arrives he's like "give me your controller" and I'm like why what have I done, then he makes an excuse to cause an argument as he does and then blames it on me. I've put up with him for nearly 8 years now (I'm 14) and everyday even if it's not because of the lock, which is the most stupidest thing ever, he'll blame everything on me like its my fault if the cereal is out even when my brother or sister used it after me like I'm so mad.

[ccsmod3]

Hello,

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We recognize that it takes great courage to reach out when you are experiencing a crisis, and we are happy to listen and help.

Thank you for sharing your current situation with us. It sounds like you have been experiencing a lot of difficulty with your stepdad, and this has been taking up a lot of your headspace lately. Living in a toxic and unsupportive environment can be extremely draining and frustrating. If you have any close friends or other family members/adults in your life that you trust, it may be a good idea to speak to them about what’s going on. Oftentimes just venting your feelings to someone who knows you can help a lot.

You also mentioned some behaviors of your stepdad that raise concerns about your safety, such as physical harm. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We can file a report on your behalf, or we could call CPS together and be there as an advocate for you as the report is made.

If you would like to talk more in detail, please call us at 1800-786-2929, or chat online through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive - you know your situation best, but we are happy to listen and provide resources to help you make an informed decision about next steps.

Thank you again for reaching out. Stay safe,
NRS

I honestly have alot to say about my stepdad. I am currently 14 years old and my stepdad has been me and my brother since i was a baby and my brother was 5. When i was younger i had always thought my stepdad was my real father and my mom didn't say anything about it. He treated me good when i was younger but as soon as i got older, around 10, i started to find things out that he was not my real father and grew to dislike him. My stepdad is currently in the military and has been going in and out of my life. When i was 11, he came back to my mom after being out in the sea for 2 years i think, and wanted for us to move to California, which me and my brother did not want to do. He thought he could come back into our lives and take us far away from my grandma and uncles.(They were broken up then got back together when he got back over-seas), then once we moved to California, my mom, brother, and me hated it over there. My mom had to quit her job that she loved and could not find any job in california for 2 years. California was horrible, my stepdad and mom fought alot, my brother ran away 3 times, and my stepdad was always hard on me. He was so strict because of the military and maybe if he hadn't gone to the military he wouldn't be like this. He always threatens to hit me for the most dumbest things like if i turn off the A/C he would whoop me. Like what the hell? then he always expects me to change my personality and be a "good girl" he thought he would change me and my brother once he got back with my mom. I am a very aggressive, mean and troubled girl and have been like this for years, and he thinks that hes gonna change me in 1-2 months. I have very deep hatred for him and always tells my mom something that i did and its so annoying because he cant ever keep his mouth shut about anything. Hes a very loud person and i know my mom dislikes it. I don't think my mom ever loved him. He always gets mad at her if she does something that he didn't like. He always thinks that he knows everything and it gets my mom, my brother, and me very annoyed. I actually enjoyed California because i had lots of friends in school and the sight of the mountains were very beautiful. Then i find out we have to move AGAIN, meaning i had to leave my friends and my boyfriend behind. I hated it. I hated that we always had to move places and i never had any bestfriends that i would be with for a long time. I am currently in Virginia and i hate it over here. My stepdad is more strict on me then ever. My brother is now 18 and always says hes gonna beat up my stepdad which i cannot wait to see because we have despised our stepdad for a very long time. I now have a baby step-sister who i adore very much. He treats her differently then he does to us, maybe because that is his biological child. He always threatens to hit me and my brother even though we are much older and shouldn't be treated like little kids anymore. I never get anything i want and always has to ask his brother for stuff. Yesterday he said i was getting a flip phone like bruh hell to the no i am not. He's broke and always says he would get me stuff if i had better grades. Bruh not everything has to do with grades. I have had the same clothes since i was in 6th grade and hate it. i am almost in highschool now and cant wait to start working so i can buy my own stuff since none of my parents give me anything i want. Both my parents are broke and i hate it. I honestly hate the way im living right now. Im sure my brother does also because thats all me and him talk about. I dont know why my mom is still with him if she hates him. My mom didn't even want to have another baby and my stepdad did which is not fair. My dad was around when i was a baby also but my mom left him and did the same thing with my brother's dad. Me and my brother are half siblings. My mom has been with around 8 guys. I have never had a father figure and during my whole childhood i have called multiple guys my "daddy". Even during my relationships with guys, i am more attracted to older guys and have called them daddy also. Would this mean Daddy issues?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

My step dad is a prick. He threatened the hit me and started squaring up to me so I pushed him outa my face and he then actually hit me, and then we ended up having a fight and he put me in hospital.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

my stepdad acts like my real dad and i hate it, i feel uncomfurtable around him because when i was 5 or something he showed me and my sister his uh you know and he spanks us alot and sometimes touches me places i dont feel comfurtable with him touching me there. i really want to run away to my bestfriends house riley her parents will probably understand but im only 12 so cant do much my parents will probably send cops out looking for me and i cant explain to my mom or dad just riley and my dads girlfriends kid. i also got my phone taken away about four months ago so i found a device i just got caught with it today so i have no way but email to contact my friends which is killing me because i cant live without them and riley is the only reason im alive rn and my parents arent gonna let me see her for a long time currently i want to die if only my stepdad wasnt in my life none of this would happen he is so into whats going on in my life and wont give me any privacy he was supposed to go to jail but my mom took his side and not me and my sisters i want to open up to her im just really scared to and my parents said they will be sending me to boarding school if i keep up sneaking phones which im sorry im trying to live friends mainly riley is why im even alive i need help really badly please how do i deal with this

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your stepdad. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

I hate my stepdad, he ruins my life, everytime he comes home, he always eats all of our food even the food I cook just for my mom, when my mom is asleep and I watch TV, his is all the way up, and mine is all the way down, he comes in my room and tells me to turn it down, when I go in the living room while watching TV, he gets mad at me, and when I talk back to my mom, he always scream at me for no reason, he calls everything his, and he comes in my room without my permission, I am never going to talk to him, and when I tell my mom how me and my brother feels, she always says we need to respect him and love him, I don't love him, and when I try to respect him, he ruins it. What should I do to get him out of my life forever?

[ccsmod8]

Hello there -

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to get into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. From your message to us, it sounds like you have are going through a very hard time right now and seem to be very overwhelmed with everything that is going on especially with your step-father. It’s great that you are able to reach out for help in your current situation, it’s very brave of you to do that. It must be very frustrating not knowing what you can do from this point.

Unfortunately, we don’t know much about laws and/or resources in Canada for we mainly work within the United States. But there are resources that might be able to help you within Canada that can be of more help. There is the “Kids Help Phone” (https://kidshelpphone.ca/). That might be of more help since our resources don’t go outside the United States. There also might be a number in which you can call as well to talk to them about what has been going on. It might be a great way to talk to someone there that can help you get through these terrible times. You sound like a very strong person to keep fighting for what you believe in and standing up for yourself.

We hope that this resource helps!