I hate my stepdad

I hate my stepdad with a passion. He tortured one of my brothers so much that he know longer lives with us. and now hes beating up on my 7 year old brother. I cant tell my mom because i alwad get in trouble. Once me and my other brother called the cops because my stepdad almost strangled him but hes still here. He threatens up all the time. Today he threw my 7 year old brother and knocked out his tooth while my mom was downstairs n the car. my brothers bad but my mom doesnt even let me hit him. why should he be able to? I wish i could just runaway with my boyfriend. whenever one of us gets in trouble he makes the punishments. but most of the time when hes not here my mom gives a little breathing room around them. Everyday theres a new fight with him and my mom. He’s verbally abusive and doesnt care if theres company over. me, my brothers, my nana, my moms friends and even their boyfriends hate him. He ruins everything and no matter what hes right. My teenage years have and will continue to be hell with him. my little brother kept telling me he didnt wanna be alone and he was scared right after he left.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out. It sounds like things are really stressful with your step dad. We are here to help.

You do not deserve to be mistreated. We can help you report any abuse going on. Child Help (1-800-42-4453) is another great resource for that too.

It sounds like your living situation is taking quite the toll on your mental health as well. Perhaps talking to a teacher or counselor at school could help alleviate some of that stress.

We are here 24/7 at 1-800RUNAWAY so call or chat anytime.

Thanks for reaching out again. You are so strong!
Best of luck!

For years now, I've had to deal with my stepdad who has progressively gotten worse. For instance, just today he was mumbling some stupid **** and coming into my room when I want to be left alone. He kicked my trash can over towards me and I picked it up and threw it at him, he wasn't far and I didn't throw it hard yet he found it necessary to pick it up and hit me twice on my arm. He constantly does annoying **** just to pi** me off then when I get angry or annoyed/pi**ed off he says hesh just fu**ing with me. It's getting old, what can I do? My stress is raised because of him.

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us today. It sounds like you're going through a really difficult situation with your mother and your stepdad, who you do not like. It definitely sounds like you could use some support in this situation. You may try reaching out to friends or relatives in order to discuss some of the situations you describe here. You may want to know however that our services are only limited to those in the United States for various legal reasons, as it appears you are writing this message from another country.

Best,
NRS

My mums ninety years old and has been married to my stepdad for 40 years . I’ve never liked him. He doesn’t love my mum. At the beginnings he was using her. She had much more than him. He’s a lier, deceitful, attention seeking. Has no opinions, boring, has nothing to say and when he does I could fall asleep. I could right a book. I’ve put up with it, but I’ve now told her that I am stressed out, and need a break. She wrote to me and said she didn’t have a lot of time left. Making me feel guilty. Any ideas. Pat

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. It sounds like you have a tough situation going on at home. It shows a lot that you reached out to us, situations like these can be hard to navigate and it can sometimes be hard to reach out but the fact that you did is huge, that is something worth being proud of.
In terms of things going on, have you tried talking to your mom about everything that has happened? It sounds like you two care about one another a lot and seem to be close but even in situations like that, without an explicit discussion, things can get pushed to the side. If talking to your mom isn’t an option or you already have, another option might be talking to another adult you trust and having them help talk to your mom with you. Sometimes we don’t see things until somebody outside of the situation brings it to us and talks with us about it. If this is an option you might be interested in, talking with a relative, trusted family friend, school teacher, or somebody else. If you don’t have an adult like that that you feel comfortable reaching out to, we do offer a conference call service where you could call us, we could talk about the situation and then reach out to your mom and talk with her and connect the two calls so that you and your mom can talk and we would be there to help mediate the conversation and allow both sides to be heard and discussed. You can reach us at our toll free, 24/7 hotline at 1(800)786-2929.
There are also some other resources that might be worth checking out for your stepfathers habits or the fighting between your mother and he. For his habits, you could check out SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration). They are a hotline that helps talk about people who are experiencing substance abuse or the families of people going through that. Their number is 1(877)726-4727.
It sounds like things have been tough but we are here for you every step of the way. For more local numbers you can contact us at our hotline number provided above or our 24/7 online live chat at 1800runaway.org. We hope things work out and are here no matter what.
Best of luck,
NRS

Yeah I know it’s kind of a cliche to hate your step parent, but I’d definitely consider myself as someone who does. There’s not really a risk factor of me running away, but I definitely feel like my home environment is really toxic. My mom (lovely women who deserves so much better) and my step father fight constantly. I wake up to screaming and I go to bed to screaming. It gives me anxiety because while I doubt my stepfather would do something actually violent, he has a gun stored under his bed and I can’t help but a run a bunch of terrible scenarios through my head. Occasionally after a screaming match with my mom he barges into my room and tells me all about why my mom is a stupid ********** (among the other things he says) and alludes to how if he wanted to he could hurt me or my mother. Now, I wouldn’t say we exactly rely on him for most of our income since my mom is a doctor, but his paychecks do help out and provide a nice home log for us. And on top of everything he’s a raging cocaine addict and does not have a grip on it. Im sure deep down my mom still has love for him, so I feel guilty to want him out of our lives. For the past 5 years I’ve known him, he’s made no effort to connect with me, but I don’t really care. I just want him gone.

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us today for help. We understand you're having a difficult time in what you consider a negative home environment. We understand how challenging this may be. We can provide you resources and support that can hopefully make your situation and keep you safe, especially if you are seriously considering running away (1-800-786-2929).

Best,
NRS

I do have exactly the same and I’m still im that situation. I hate to be home when he’s home, I don’t feel safe. He is always negative about me, which made me being petty to him. And now my mom is blaming me for being disrespectful to him. I love my dad, eventhough I haven’t seen him in months. I think I love my dad because I hate my stepfather so much actually. I don’t have a clue about what to do, if I now start being nice to him he will probably feel like he has won this whole thing. Oh also I got a halfbrother now too, he’s almost 2 years old. I love my babybrother so much, and I have already given him more cuddles in 2 years then I gave my stephdad in 8 years...

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are sorry to hear about your relationship with your stepdad. Unfortunately, we cannot tell you how to get rid of him forever. You could try talking to your mom about how your stepdad makes you feel. Here at NRS, we offer conference calls between youth and their parents. This could be an opportunity for you to express how you feel with to your parents with the support of a NRS worker. Please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat if you would like to discuss more about your situation at home.

My stepdad is loved by everyone except my real dad, except for me and sometimes my brother. He takes jokes too far which hurts my mom feelings sometimes, though she doesn’t do anything and just complains about it to me. Not only is he annoying with jokes, but he shouts so loud when I do something very small I’m not supposed to so my mom can hear what happened. My older brother is a little autistic, and my stepdad sometimes teases with him, such as “no one will approach you looking like that.” It’s like..leave him alone! Plus, he makes fun of my mom’s weight, says it in his terrible jokes, though I am now feeling he means it. Not only does he annoy me in these ways, he uses my mom by ‘doing it’ like every other day..it was once 2 or 3 days straight. He seems friendly to the public, but in reality, he is a hypocrite and a jerk. Please tell me how I can get rid of him for ever, even when he knew my mom for around 6 years. (I’m 11 by the way, so don’t forget I don’t have many privileges)

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We’re so sorry to hear that things have been so challenging with your stepdad. It sounds like you’ve really struggled to make things work at home, but it’s been difficult to feel heard by your mom and you’ve reached a point to where you’d want to create some distance from your stepdad. What you can do really depends on what you might be comfortable with. It sounds like you’ve tried to approach your mom about your stepdad and her response hasn’t been as helpful as you’d like. Perhaps it would help to speak with them together, approaching them about the things that have been working in the household, as well as things that are still a work in progress. If you feel like you need help approaching your mom & stepdad, maybe reaching out to an adult like an aunt or a friend of the family who can act as a mediator would be helpful.

If you’d like to talk to someone about your situation more at length, or even if you’d like help in deciding what to say to your mom & stepdad, know that we are here to support you. We won’t tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay as safe as possible as you explore your options. We’re available 24/7 at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) as well as every day via chat from 4:30pm – 11:30pm CST. We wish you the very best of luck & look forward to hearing back via phone or chat. Stay safe!

-NRS

He's so annoying and I know there's been worse people with worse stepdads than mine but still. My stepdad is so annoying and it's to the point where we don't even want to acknowledge eachother anymore. He uses my private stuff and when I tell him to stop my mom always gets in and tells me "you have to respect adults!" And threatens to spank me or something! It makes no sense. My parents divorced when I was about four years old (I'm 13 now) and my dad has not gotten married yet,but about one year (I think) after they divorced my mom got re married. He was okay until he constantly called me names and messed with me so much even though I told him to stop, and my mom just sat there and did nothing. She always either sided with him, or she doesn't do a thing at all. And I'm sick of it! Multiple times I've talked to her and expressed my feelings to her about him, and every time she's either like I will talk to him" (which she never does) or "oh well get over it". To be honest it's like she never sees nothing wrong with him but I do. He's fed my little brother my breakfast before, and when I told him it was mine, he was just like "oh whoops" (basically). Now don't get me wrong, I love my little brother (he's 2, almost 3) but I don't love it when he won't let me play with him, touch him, or gives him my private stuff to use as toys or to bath with. And before my brother was born, if I left something on the couch or my shoes were on the floor, HED THROW IT AWAY!! Once when I was like 7 or 8, I had one of those cute little kid play computers and I loved it! I left it in the kitchen once because I went to the bathroom, and I come back to find it in the trash!! That was a birthday gift to me! And yesterday he ripped my phone out of the charger and threw it on my bed for literally no apparent reason, like I was literally just watching a movie and next thing you know my phones gone! When ever I get upset at him, he acts like he can do what ever he wants to me, like hit me or something! He hasn't yet because when ever he says that he will, I always remind him that he's not my dad and he has no right to put a finger on me. But instead of him, my mom try's to get me in trouble on behalf of him (cause she's my mom and she has a right to put her hands on me). I'm seriously just tired of her taking his side even when he's the one in the wrong. Like I'm 13, he has no right to be messing with a female teenagers' stuff, ESPECIALLY when he's not my dad. My dad doesn't even do any of this stuff. My dad respects my privacy and he knows that I'm 13 and am capable to have my own stuff without others having to mess with it. He always asks before he uses something of mine, and he always knocks before coming into my room, unlike my stepdad. My dads aware that I don't really like my stepdad but we never really talk about it cause usually me and my stepdad try to not interact with each other, and also because I'd rather not spend my time with my awesome dad talking about my awful stepdad. Although, I have mentioned a couple times that my mom always takes his side, but that's about it. Sometimes I wish I could just live with my dad, but he's busy a lot, and I don't just want to leave my brother. I always say that I can't wait to move out, or that when I'm 18 I want to just file a restraining order on my stepdad cause I'm tired of him even being in my life. In my opinion, the only thing good that's came out of him being in my life is my brother and stepfamily. But that's about it. What should I do?