I hate my stepdad

My step dad only buys stuff for my siblings but not me and he always say i'm gonna end upon the streets and end up pregnant what am i suppose to do

[ccsmod2]

We are glad you are reaching out to us, because we are here to help. It sounds like you’ve been in a few awkward situations with your step dad, and reaching out to us is a good first step in talking through your feelings and thinking out options.



From the misunderstanding about the car being on to the argument you overheard between your mom and him, it sounds like you and your step dad don’t always see eye to eye. Have you talked to your mom about how you are feeling about those experiences? Being open about how you feel about the way your step dad treats you may help her to see it from your perspective. Sometimes having someone advocate for you (like a family friend or relative) can help start the conversation. If you would prefer not to involve a relative or family friend but would still like some help talking to your mom, we offer a conference call service here at the National Runaway Safeline. Basically we would talk to you on the phone about your situation. We would then contact your mom and talk to her a little bit as well. We would then join the calls and remain on the line to keep conversation constructive. You can find out more about the conference call by calling our hotline at 1-800-786-2929.



Beyond talking to your mom, for the most part, people can only be held responsible for their own actions. What we mean by that is that we are typically unable to control how others behave, which includes not being able to change the way your step dad acts or how your mom responds to it. What we can control is how we respond to those things. What are typical ways that you cope with your step dad? If you’re looking for healthy ways to channel your emotions, some people find creative ways (like journaling or creating art) or physical ways (such as exercising or yoga) as means to deal with stressful or difficult situations.



We want you to know that we are here to help, but we are also here to listen. If you wanted to talk through any of the options we mentioned before or brainstorm new ideas you can always call the number we mentioned before. We are 24/7, free, and confidential!



Best of luck!

Ok so I pretty much hate my step dad. Dude he so freaking annoying ! But like it’s not even that like just right now I went out to the living bc I heard them say something about the car. I told my mom it’s still on (bc I left it on cuz he told me to turn it on.) So he was like it’s still on and I said yea but it isn’t fully turned on. He said what ? He went to go check and was mad that I left the car door a little open and that I left it on and the battery was dead or something like that. He told me to have told him and not left it on. But I told him that I told my mom that it just made a sound but wouldnt turn on and she was like what did I tell u ? And I was like I don’t know ( she told me after I said that but I already forgot again ) He was screaming at me bc he kept telling me that I should’ve told him and about leaving the car door open but I didn’t leave the whole door wide open. It looked like it was closed but it just wasn’t. I don’t understand why my mom is still with him tbh. He has cheated on her and my mom knows and it was not just like once or twice which really gets me mad. He even was talking and met up with my “best friends” mom bc she told him that she wanted to meet up. Plus he drinks a lot not like everyday and like a lot everyday but he does. And he acts like a 16-17 year old boy he goes out with his friends during the weekend and we would just stay home. And like last week me my mom and baby step sister we’re in the car going to my “aunt and uncles” apartment and my mom said that she had to go get diapers. That early morning he went to Walmart. He said it was far and just wanted to get there. She was the one driving and he was drinking bc we were just at a families birthday and were Mexican there is always gonna be beer there. And my mom said to get off at the entrance where the gate was and he was like NO LEAVE ME IN THE APARTMENT and my mom said no get off here and they were both angry. She like drove mad you know like when the speed is a little extra than she drives. And it was like a skrttt and he got off all mad and slamming the door and hard as he could and my mom drove off with me and my little sis which she was sleeping but with their argument she woke up. + she said she was still with him bc she loved him . What should I do ? Btw ily for giving me the advice you’re going to give me. I hope you have a blessed and marvelous day.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to NRS during our online forum service. It sounds like you’re in a tough situation at home with your stepdad. It must be frustrating to feel like your mom is not understanding when you share your feelings with her about your stepdad. It also sounds difficult that your dad is not always very reliable. You deserve to feel heard and understood.

It could be helpful to write your feelings out to your mom, stepdad, and/or dad in a letter. At NRS, we can also facilitate a conference call between you and your mom, stepdad, or dad. You would set the ground rules (no yelling, interrupting, swearing, etc.) and we will ensure these rules are enforced throughout the entirety of the call. We are also available 24/7 just to talk about what you are experiencing at home. We are entirely confidential and here to listen and help you come up with solutions. We can be reached at 1-(800) RUNAWAY (789-2929).

Reaching out for help is a brave thing to do. Your feelings matter and things will not always be this way. We wish you the best of luck and hope this information has been helpful.

I hate my stepdad and when I was younger I approached my mom about it and she just didn’t undersatand she said that I should like him and she couldn’t do anything that he would always be in my life that was a bout 3 years ago and now I’m a month they get married and I’m hating it he gets on my nerves easily and more than anyone else and I don’t know why I also hate my dad when I visit him he’s not an alcoholic or an abuser or anything he’s very irresponsible he lives in Mexico fixing up a beach house he used to live here and he had a job but that job he quit he was also very agressive and rude and would shout for any thing we did wrong saying we don’t know anything he’s not abusive though he says he’ll show up for something important and never comes I love him no matter how irresponsible he is it breaks me when he doesn’t come but at the same time I hate him he yells at us when we don’t call him when personally I think he should call us

[ccsmod10]

We are glad you are reaching out to us in your time of need because we are here to help. From what you have shared it sounds like you’ve been going through a very difficult situation for a while, but we want you to know that you are not alone.

No one deserves to be beaten, strangled, threatened, or to have a tooth knocked out. When that happens, anyone (including your younger brother), has the option to report the abuse. The police can be called or you can file the abuse directly with Child Protective Services (CPS). After filing, an investigator would be contacted to look into the situation at your home. You, your little brother, your mom, and your step dad will be a part of the investigation so that CPS can understand the situation. If you would like to learn more about your options of reporting, Child Help, the National Child Abuse Hotline can share more information on the reporting process at 1-800-422-4453. While every situation is different, in some cases police and CPS involvement can help to stop that type of abusive behavior. On our hotline (1-800-786-2929) we can also talk with you about abuse reporting and can even help you make the report if you feel comfortable doing so.

In your message you also mentioned that you can’t tell your mom what is going on because you would get in trouble. Is she aware of the beating that has happened in the past or the reason your other brother no longer lives with you? If she is unaware, she may be able to help you by speaking with your stepdad or, if you wanted, asking for permission to live elsewhere. If you feel uncomfortable with speaking with your mom directly, do you think you would be able to have one of the relatives you mentioned (brother, nana, or mom’s friends) speak to your mom on your behalf? Sometimes hearing things from other people can help to avoid tension and to make sure you’re being heard. Another option for that would be our conference service. At National Runaway Safeline we have a program where we would talk to you about the situation and then reach out to your mom. After speaking with her we would join the calls and stay on the line to help keep conversation productive. This can be done through our hotline’s number (1-800-786-2929).

You also mentioned that you wish you could run away with your boyfriend. While we are not legal experts, we can tell you that running away isn’t illegal, but can be considered a status offense if you are a minor. Basically that means that your mom could file you as a runaway and may be able to press charges against anyone that takes you in (such as your boyfriend). You may be able to avoid charges if your mom gives you written permission (like a text) to leave or if you are legally an adult. Do you think your mom would give you permission, or have you spoken with your boyfriend about what living with each other would look like?

As we said earlier, we are here to help, but we are also here to listen. If you would like to discuss the options we mentioned above or would like to help brainstorm alternatives, please do not hesitate to call. We are here 24/7.

Best of luck!

I hate my stepdad with a passion. He tortured one of my brothers so much that he know longer lives with us. and now hes beating up on my 7 year old brother. I cant tell my mom because i alwad get in trouble. Once me and my other brother called the cops because my stepdad almost strangled him but hes still here. He threatens up all the time. Today he threw my 7 year old brother and knocked out his tooth while my mom was downstairs n the car. my brothers bad but my mom doesnt even let me hit him. why should he be able to? I wish i could just runaway with my boyfriend. whenever one of us gets in trouble he makes the punishments. but most of the time when hes not here my mom gives a little breathing room around them. Everyday theres a new fight with him and my mom. He’s verbally abusive and doesnt care if theres company over. me, my brothers, my nana, my moms friends and even their boyfriends hate him. He ruins everything and no matter what hes right. My teenage years have and will continue to be hell with him. my little brother kept telling me he didnt wanna be alone and he was scared right after he left.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out. It sounds like things are really stressful with your step dad. We are here to help.

You do not deserve to be mistreated. We can help you report any abuse going on. Child Help (1-800-42-4453) is another great resource for that too.

It sounds like your living situation is taking quite the toll on your mental health as well. Perhaps talking to a teacher or counselor at school could help alleviate some of that stress.

We are here 24/7 at 1-800RUNAWAY so call or chat anytime.

Thanks for reaching out again. You are so strong!
Best of luck!

For years now, I've had to deal with my stepdad who has progressively gotten worse. For instance, just today he was mumbling some stupid **** and coming into my room when I want to be left alone. He kicked my trash can over towards me and I picked it up and threw it at him, he wasn't far and I didn't throw it hard yet he found it necessary to pick it up and hit me twice on my arm. He constantly does annoying **** just to pi** me off then when I get angry or annoyed/pi**ed off he says hesh just fu**ing with me. It's getting old, what can I do? My stress is raised because of him.

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us today. It sounds like you're going through a really difficult situation with your mother and your stepdad, who you do not like. It definitely sounds like you could use some support in this situation. You may try reaching out to friends or relatives in order to discuss some of the situations you describe here. You may want to know however that our services are only limited to those in the United States for various legal reasons, as it appears you are writing this message from another country.

Best,
NRS

My mums ninety years old and has been married to my stepdad for 40 years . I’ve never liked him. He doesn’t love my mum. At the beginnings he was using her. She had much more than him. He’s a lier, deceitful, attention seeking. Has no opinions, boring, has nothing to say and when he does I could fall asleep. I could right a book. I’ve put up with it, but I’ve now told her that I am stressed out, and need a break. She wrote to me and said she didn’t have a lot of time left. Making me feel guilty. Any ideas. Pat

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. It sounds like you have a tough situation going on at home. It shows a lot that you reached out to us, situations like these can be hard to navigate and it can sometimes be hard to reach out but the fact that you did is huge, that is something worth being proud of.
In terms of things going on, have you tried talking to your mom about everything that has happened? It sounds like you two care about one another a lot and seem to be close but even in situations like that, without an explicit discussion, things can get pushed to the side. If talking to your mom isn’t an option or you already have, another option might be talking to another adult you trust and having them help talk to your mom with you. Sometimes we don’t see things until somebody outside of the situation brings it to us and talks with us about it. If this is an option you might be interested in, talking with a relative, trusted family friend, school teacher, or somebody else. If you don’t have an adult like that that you feel comfortable reaching out to, we do offer a conference call service where you could call us, we could talk about the situation and then reach out to your mom and talk with her and connect the two calls so that you and your mom can talk and we would be there to help mediate the conversation and allow both sides to be heard and discussed. You can reach us at our toll free, 24/7 hotline at 1(800)786-2929.
There are also some other resources that might be worth checking out for your stepfathers habits or the fighting between your mother and he. For his habits, you could check out SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration). They are a hotline that helps talk about people who are experiencing substance abuse or the families of people going through that. Their number is 1(877)726-4727.
It sounds like things have been tough but we are here for you every step of the way. For more local numbers you can contact us at our hotline number provided above or our 24/7 online live chat at 1800runaway.org. We hope things work out and are here no matter what.
Best of luck,
NRS

Yeah I know it’s kind of a cliche to hate your step parent, but I’d definitely consider myself as someone who does. There’s not really a risk factor of me running away, but I definitely feel like my home environment is really toxic. My mom (lovely women who deserves so much better) and my step father fight constantly. I wake up to screaming and I go to bed to screaming. It gives me anxiety because while I doubt my stepfather would do something actually violent, he has a gun stored under his bed and I can’t help but a run a bunch of terrible scenarios through my head. Occasionally after a screaming match with my mom he barges into my room and tells me all about why my mom is a stupid ********** (among the other things he says) and alludes to how if he wanted to he could hurt me or my mother. Now, I wouldn’t say we exactly rely on him for most of our income since my mom is a doctor, but his paychecks do help out and provide a nice home log for us. And on top of everything he’s a raging cocaine addict and does not have a grip on it. Im sure deep down my mom still has love for him, so I feel guilty to want him out of our lives. For the past 5 years I’ve known him, he’s made no effort to connect with me, but I don’t really care. I just want him gone.

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us today for help. We understand you're having a difficult time in what you consider a negative home environment. We understand how challenging this may be. We can provide you resources and support that can hopefully make your situation and keep you safe, especially if you are seriously considering running away (1-800-786-2929).

Best,
NRS

I do have exactly the same and I’m still im that situation. I hate to be home when he’s home, I don’t feel safe. He is always negative about me, which made me being petty to him. And now my mom is blaming me for being disrespectful to him. I love my dad, eventhough I haven’t seen him in months. I think I love my dad because I hate my stepfather so much actually. I don’t have a clue about what to do, if I now start being nice to him he will probably feel like he has won this whole thing. Oh also I got a halfbrother now too, he’s almost 2 years old. I love my babybrother so much, and I have already given him more cuddles in 2 years then I gave my stephdad in 8 years...