My dad hit my mom and I got involved.

[Guest]

I'm a 15 year old girl and ever since I can remember , every tiem my parents fight it gets physical. My dad hits my mom and I hear her falling or getting hurt and I run in and move him to the side. My mom yells at me, and is mad that I get involved but I can't help it. I feel scared and constantly have nightmares. But today my mom was mad at him for coming g home so late and never spending time with us so she told him off. He came home and immediately jumped on top of her while she was laying on her bed and tried to hit her. I heard and ran in to help and I grabbed my dad and moved him off of her. She yelled at me to leave and got mad at me. My dad grabbed me And told me not to get in his way by grabbing me very aggressively. I couldn't move, I couldn't believe what was happening. I started shaking and found it hard to breathe. My dad grabbed his stuff and told me that I couldn't go ******** Andy to get out of his way , he left. My mom yelled and me and was mad at me for interfering. I don't know what to do. Please help.

[ccsmod6]

Hello,
Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re in a very difficult situation and that you are afraid and frustrated. We’re sorry to hear about the situation with your parents. You don’t deserve to be treated that way when you got grabbed aggressively by your father and you don’t deserve to be treated like that by any adult and especially by a parent. Parents should be there to provide for your needs and support you. You’re also very brave for trying to intervene and stop your mother from being hurt.

If you ever feel in danger for yourself or your mother again you can always call 911 in case of an emergency.

Since you don’t feel safe at home, something you could consider could be staying with family or a trusted friend. Talking to somebody you trust about what’s going on at home could also help, like a counselor at school or a teacher, if you feel comfortable doing so. You could also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1800-799-7233 or the website childhelp.org for more resources that could help in your situation. You can also always call us and we would be happy to look up resources in your area, talk with you about your options, or just listen to what you’re going through.

We’d like you to know you’re really brave for reaching out about your situation to us and for trying to intervene when your parents fight. That takes a lot and we can definitely appreciate how difficult that can be. Remember, you can always contact us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST.
We do hope that you reach out to us through phone or chat to discuss your situation in more detail. Our goal is to help you find ways to stay safe. We’re here to help.

Regards,
NRS

[Guest]

it was my birth day and my mom wanted to take me to go get dinner and my dad told her no i have stuff to do when i did not she comes by and knocks then comes in then calls my name my dad told her to get out now and she said she wanted to take me to dinner he said no get the ******** out of my house over and over and my mom walks upstairs to get me as she said lets go my dad starts to call the police and my mom grabs his phone and trys to walk off my dad walks up behind her and hit her on the back with a hand my mom says what the hell you hit me and my mom starts getting close and my dad pushes her to the ground and puts her in a headlock sorta all while this is happening my mom is calling at me yelling at me to call the police and when i get the phone i go down stairs and call i told them where i live and whats happening and when the police came they broke up every thing my mom has a busted lip my dads fine exept for a bruise i left when i tackled him to get off my mom i dont know what to do whenever i stare i see my dad with my mom in a head lock then me coming from the cat walk and running into him in third person it has been messing me recently and i dont like it

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us today. What you've described definitely sounds like a very scary situation indeed and it makes sense how it could have impacted you in a way where you keep seeing your dad with your mom in a head lock. We can help you talk through the situation you described, either over the phone or on chat. We can help you process this situation and we can refer you to mental health counselors that can help you on a long-term basis. We can help you develop coping strategies for dealing with the impacts of the violence you witnessed between your parents. Please call us at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us at 1800runaway.org for access to these services.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

Seen my dad get physical multiple times. Tonight was the worst as he hit her on the head with a wine bottle and she started bleeding and it became swollen. I called the police as I helped her with the bleeding and I hate myself for covering up for my dad saying she fell and hit her head. I feel angry and frustrated and guilty. The hospital was useless and the wait was long as the workers sat there joking with each other. My mom just ended up wanting to go home and now I can't sleep at night because I keep thinking the injury is going to get worse. I hate my dad and I wish he went to jail but he's the only one taking care of the family. I don't know what to do.

[ccsmod9]

Hello,

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

My dad hit my mom today over a very silly issue. I of course intervened started to cry and tried pushing my dad away however he hit her as he was too strong for me. Calling the police is not an option for me as there are severe consequences i know my dad truly loves us and he is only doing this out of short temper so i dont want anything to happen to him . But at the same time i want to protect my mother.i just want to show strength and stand up to my dad but i dont know how. Please help me.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds like you love both your parents and want to make sure that everyone is being protected.

Absolutely no one deserves to be abused - you or your mom. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

Im a 15 year old girl and since a was a baby my dad would hit my mom all the time and he stopped like 2 years ago because i hit him when he hit her but he still says things to her and he hit me last month for no reason i tried to defend myself nut hes stronger than me but i still try to defend my mom when he hits her.he hit her today and we didn't call the police because my mom doesn't want him im jail But i can't stand him i hate him so much my mom tells me im too young to hate him but i cant i already hate him its too late

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds like you care a lot about your mom and her safety. Neither you nor your mother should have to be in this situation and should live somewhere where you feel safe and secure.

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. If you'd like some additional support you can also to the National Domestic Violence Hotline for support and help safety planning. Their website is thehotline.org or by calling 800-799-7233.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

My dad has been beating my mom on and off for years but today he looked like he was going to do something very bad. So I jumped in front of my mom to protect her as I always do while my uncle held him back . They drove off together in our car and I fear for my mothers and my siblings safety when he comes back. I don’t know what to do .

[ccsmod15]

Hello, thanks so much for posting! Sounds like home can be a bit unpredictable and maybe even unsafe! We are glad you reached out for help today!
You said your dad hit your mom and you jumped in while your uncle held dad back and then mentioned two people drove off. We aren't sure who exactly left, dad and mom or dad and uncle. It sounds like dad left and you are worried for your own safety, your mom and siblings for when he gets back. That is understandable for sure given the circumstances!

Your safety and that of your mom and siblings is of most importance to us here at NRS. If there is any child abuse going on, Child Help (1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org) may be able to help. We can also help you find a safe place to go, how to report abuse if there is any and you want to report it, and helping you come up with a plan to stay safe and keep everyone in your family safe. This is all a lot for a young person to handle alone! We are here to support you and hope there are people around you who can too. You mentioned your uncle: perhaps he can help your mom and siblings stay safe. Or perhaps there is another family member, neighbor, or friend who could help.

If you or your mom are ever in immediate danger of getting seriously hurt by your dad, you can always call 911 and the police can come and help diffuse the situation. There is also the Domestic Violence Hotline which has confidential safe homes for those who are hurt by spouses and their children so that may be an option for your mom, you and siblings. DV Hotline: 1-800-799-7233, thehotline.org.

For a safe place for youth close to you. you can go to nationalsafeplace.org or Text "SAFE" and your location to 44357.

It shows a lot of strength in you reaching out and we are here to support you! It sounds like you care a lot about your mom and siblings too which shows a lot of compassion on your end. We are 24/7 so call or chat through our website (top of the page) anytime!

Stay Safe!

[Guest]

Hey everyone, I am from Saudi Arabia, my father is Saudi but my mother is Russian. I live in Saudi with my parents and two small siblings. My father has been always abusive to my mother when I was little, not until my mother decided to leave and take me along. My father decided to take me away. And he basically stole me from my mom. After that after 1 year and a half my mother couldn’t stop thinking about me I kept getting sick every time and my father didn’t really know what to do with me. So my mother decided to come back for me. Which eventually led them to live together and build up the family all over again. I ended up having a brother and a sister. Of course they used to fight a lot through the time I was growing older. But lately he’s been acting weird, aggressive, abusive, and disrespectful. I am not sure if that’s cause he’s getting older. But his family were always something more than us. He would kill us for them. About a week ago one of his brothers disrespected him which lead him to stop talking to us, and treating us unwell. His family members always impacted that way on him. Which lead him always to turn his back on us and abuse us instead facing them. Today my mother asked him after 4 weeks of silence, “Why do you treat us this way, why is it on us?” Why don’t you treat others this way as well?” He said “like who?” She said “like your brother”. That’s when the cursing and the yelling about her and her mom was going on nonstop. I went into the conversation after a while of listening to all of the cursing and threats. I just started at him as he said all of that. He asked what are you looking at and started throwing whatever he has on the table affront of him. I said stop doing this as he came up to me and started hitting me my mom tried to stop him and he started hitting her too. This is the 4rth time in my life when my father lays his hands on me. I know that he’s definitely not okay. And I am scared, as you may or may not know that in Saudi you don’t have a way of getting away or anything like that. I really don’t know what to do. I feel cuffed 500 times. I feel weak...

[ccsmod4]

Hey everyone, I am from Saudi Arabia

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

With everything that you have been going through at home with your parent’s it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Well done. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail, please contact NRS to chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Since you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

My dad for the past 15 years has been putting his hands on her there was this one-time my cousin was in town and he thought they were having sex then we went to my grandma's house and there was thus other time my brother got stranded at a bar and called and my mom said she would go get him then he said they aint mine they my brothers but when I was born he was only 10 and last night on new years him and this girl got into it and thats what ticked him off then daddy went and called my other brother to come and pick him up we were at my grandmas building for new years and thus man named d came in and he left and thats when he called my brother and daddy told us to meet him out front but mommy didn't want to because we were going to spend new years at my grandmas house and then daddy said that mommy was sleeping with d and she wasn't and then he started to pull her and he pulled her to the ground and my grandma and my little brother got him off of her and we stayed at grandmas house and that same night he said if mommy came back he would kill her blow her brains out and he drinks everyday and I don't know what to do.

[ccsmod16]

HI,
Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. Your situation sounds very serious and very scary. It must be very frightening to live with your dad when he is drinking, and if he drinks everyday, then you are in a scary situation every day.
We are most concerned with you being safe and you are also concerned about your mom being safe. Something she can do is contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7299 or at www.thehotline.org They can help connect your family to a safe shelter that is secret so that your dad can’t find you. Sometimes it’s really hard for people in your mom’s position to reach out for help. If this is the case, and she won’t do it, we want you to be safe from him.
You can reach out with a cell phone to www.nationalsafeplace.org and access their TXT 4 Help option. And you can also reach out to us. We are here for you 24/7 by phone at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) or via live chat at www.1800runaway.org We would really like to help you to be safe. We really hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely, NRS

[Guest]

Hi I'm not from America, I'm from South Africa. I couldn't find any south african group to talk to so I hope you can help me.its currently 03:46 am. My parents got into a fight and it got physical. My moms uncle was trying to separate them from each other and he couldn't so I jumped in and tried to help and I could not stop him from hurting her so I started hitting him and he's my step father btw and then he was beating me and hitting me so hard especially in my face and my mom was chasing me and my uncle out of the room, she thinks she can fight him but she can't and then I grabbed my mom's phone and called the police but when they answered I could not speak so I hung up and then the hitting started again. Then they chased me to the room and they were still fighting then he called my mom's dad and I don't know what they were talking about but then a few minutes later the hitting started again in the kitchen and then I heard my mom screaming cause she was hurt and I'm not sure if it's the door or washing machine but she was on the machine and she was holding her ear and she said he broke her ear drum I was so scared and I still am cause what if he kills her and she dosent want him to sleep with her in the bed now and she locked the door and he said he will break down the door then we will see what he's really capable of and thats how the fight basically started so I'm not going to sleep now cause I wanna make sure my mother is safe cause honestly I can't lose her cause my real dad and I aren't really close and I mean I'm a girl I need my mother I'm only 13 and I just got over something very traumatizing and I couldn't sleep day and night now how can I get over this

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
It seems like you have had a very traumatizing night so far. First if this situation is still ongoing please don’t hesitate to call the police again and have them come if you think your mom or yourself is in danger.
We don’t know the laws for South Africa but another resource that could be helpful besides the police is the international child helpline https://www.childhelplineinternational.org/youth/. They may know of resources in South Africa that can help you through this.
Unfortunately we don’t have much else to try and help other than to offer you support through all this. No child should go through the fear of having their parents physically fight in front of them like that, especially if you just went through something else stressful.
Hopefully this information is helpful for you!

[Guest]

my dad hit my mom
and she was bleeding

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out that seems like a really scary situation and its good you reached out for help. That seems like a domestic violence situation in which case its totally ok to call the police at 9-1-1 about it. Especially so if you are worried about your mom’s safety. It may also be good to point your mom towards https://www.thehotline.org/help/ which is a domestic violence hotline if you feel she needs help.
Again thank you for reaching out in such a scary situation, if you have more questions or just need someone to talk with we are here 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

[Guest]

Hi my name is Michael and I want to tell you about some of the things that have been happening at my house my step dad is constantly being mean to me and my brother he calls us names and hits us I can get really anxious when he is around and i was wondering if the next time he hits me If I should hit him back I’m not sure if I am allowed to do this or not please help me

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your dad is treating you in such a hurtful and inappropriate manner. It is not okay for him to call you names or put his hands on you and it makes sense that you feel unsafe when he is around. We do not recommend violence. It may be in your best interest to think about filing an abuse report. If you want to know more about that and what it would look like, a great resource is the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or childhelp.org. Additionally if you feel like you are in immediate physical danger, it may be a good idea to call 911.

If you want to talk about leaving home or what other options you might have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800--786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org. We would be happy to talk about safety planning and identifying safe places for you to go if you need to leave.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I am a 15 year old girl who has been abused for about a year or two from my stepdad. The first time he has pushed me and choked me against a wall and the other two times it was similar to the first but he tends to throw me on the floor and i hit my head and ofc that’s also when he chokes me. My mom has gotten onto him a lot of times about it and everytime he claims that he’s going to leave he doesn’t and she lets him stay..The reason why he keeps doing this is because he has three children of his own and thinks i’m a threat to them but most people know how siblings are which means i just mostly tell them to get out of my room and he gets mad at that..but it was this particular day this year that he really and i mean really wanted to try to kill me. I had accidentally hit my sisters foot on the door and i told her that i was sorry and she even said it was an accident but he still kept fussing saying that i did it on purpose and so i kept telling him that i didn’t so that’s when he came in my room getting all up on me like he was going to fight me and eventually he pushed me on the bed and started hitting me so i started to defend myself bc that was the moment he was choking me but this time he started using his fists to punch me all up on my face while choking me and my mama came in trying to stop him but he wouldn’t stop..so he jumped on me about three times that night..my mama came in to check up on me from time to time scared for me and stayed up all night so he wouldn’t touch me again bc he said he would kill me this time and shoot me..the next day my grandma came to pick me up and i stayed at her place for a week...my mom said that he was getting out this time but i just knew that she was going to let him stay and he did stay. i wanted to put him in jail bc i had pictures but my mama said she would also go to jail too bc she didn’t take me at the time he did it..please tell me what to do i don’t want my mom to be sent to jail i just want him gone before he hurts me or my mom or my other siblings.

[ccsmod4]

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

With everything that you have been going through at home with your step dad it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Well done. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. It’s not your fault that this is happening.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or maybe someone you trust as far as transferring custody. It does not mean there will be charges brought against your mother. It sounds like she is very concerned for your safety and probably feels in danger herself. We understand having any reservations about filing a report. Child abuse or domestic violence are very difficult situations for one to find themselves in.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of options or possible solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I am a 16 year old girl and I have an issue with my parents .My dad always beats my mom whenever they get into a fight . We are also in a situation where they cannot divorce. My dad always picks a fight for every little thing and irritates her. He always insults her. I love my mom and I dont want to see her hurt . My dad also doesn't refrain from insulting me and my sister when we try to protect her. I get night mares and i am really scared . I dont want anything to happen to my mom when me and my sister are not at home. My mom also is a little hesitant about divorce because of what the relatives will think . Quarantine has made it harder.we have no good relation from either of my parents side . What to do??

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You can always reach out to the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. Their number is 800-799-7233. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS