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My dad hit my mom and I got involved.

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  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home between your mom and step dad, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

    If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

    Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hey I’m 14 years old and a girl. My mom is constantly getting hit by my step dad, I think the reason she only stays with him because she doesn’t want to have her kids fatherless. I think that she doesn’t want to make the same mistake that she did a long time ago with me and my sister. I always hear her crying and begging him to stop hitting her while I’m laying in bed at night. I think they start arguing when my step dad is high and my mom is drunk. My step dad gets high a lot and they both always drunk. But one time they fought and me and my sister who is 16 got up and we were upstairs and she tried to drop a heater on my step dad as he hit my mom. My mom was thankful because she was very helpless. My two little step brother who are 3 and 5 don’t ever hear these fights which I am very thankful for. I really want to stop these fights and when I try, such as just being seen, makes my step dad stop hitting her, but just keep arguing. One of them always leaves the house, but always come back. I honestly wish my two step brothers and older sister would live with my dad and three other step sisters. That would be much better than staying in a place where I feel unsafe at times. Some times I think about calling the police on my step dad but I think it would just make things worse. I would feel bad because I’ve known my step dad for about ten years now and my brothers wouldn’t have a dad in their lives. I’m not sure what to do. Usually the next day after a fight, we all pretend like it never happened which makes me feel terrible, like I didn’t hear my mom screaming for help. I hate these feeling I get while it happens. I sit there shaking and most times I cry. I just wish things were back to the way they were before.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, we're really thankful you reached out for help. It sounds like your home environment may have felt unsafe for a very long time, and recently some violence in your home has made you feel really worried for you and your mom's safety. It sounds like what has been going on has been very scary, and it is normal to feel scared, sad, angry, or confused. You and everyone at home's) emotional and physical safety is important, and it's good that you're taking whatever steps you can right now.

    Calling the police was a good impulse, it sounds like your mother is scared about you being taken away, which is why she didn't want you to tell the truth. That can be very hard and feel conflicting.

    One thing you might find helpful is the national domestic violence hotline. They are available 24/7, and are specifically trained to help in situations like yours. You (and/or your mom) could chat them at www.thehotline.org, call them at 800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.

    We also have the option of contacting child protective services, a government agency devoted to helping children and teenagers in unsafe environments. It wouldn't necessarily mean your dad would get in trouble, but it might lead to an investigation, or people contacting your home to check in or talk with your parents. You can call them directly (you'd need to look up the number for your state), or you can contact us and we can do it for you. You can live chat us at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    It sounds like you have been taking some steps to take care of yourself like listening to music, which is good. This whole situation can feel emotionally and physically exhausting to handle, and you deserve time and space to rest and do things that feel nice for yourself. Make sure you continue to do so when you can! It can also be helpful to let out stress by talking about what's going on. If a school counselor is available, that could be a good option, or you can talk with us at the options I mentioned above. You don't have to deal with this on your own.

  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,
    It seems like you have reached out a few times already, just so you know we only reply to forum posts 3 times maximum. You do not deserve this treatment and we hope a rape kit was performed when you were hospitalized. If not it can still potentially be used as evidence to help build a child abuse case. You can report the abuse directly, or through us. However you might explore www.childhelp.org which specializes in child abuse. If you have more questions please reach out by phone or chat. You can talk in person by phone at 1-800-786-2929.

  • Guest
    Guest replied

    Hi,

    I am a 13 year old girl. Ever since i have known my dad has been raising his hand on my mom. She has been suffering all this for me. At first because she wasn't financially strong to keep a living and didn't want to go to her parents cuz she didn't want to be a burden. and so its been happening. Its gotten less since I have been growing up but its still not fair. As long as my mom agrees to my dad everything its fine but if she disagrees or doesn't go with one thing he starts yelling at cursing and then she gets angry and curses back and breaks somethings and then he beats her up. Today he didn't do the dishes and my mom was annoyed cuz its his job and he hasn't done it in a few days. so she told him to and he was angry and started yelling. And then she said "fine dont do the dishes get food from outside" and he said yes and later he did the dishes. so it was lunch time and she said "bring food" and he said "no i did the dishes so i wont" and they argued about that and then my mom got angry and broke a plate. and so my dad took a bigger plate put her head against the wall and broke it on her head. and i freaked out and called the cops. and so i gave them details and then my mom came in and explained to me how i am on my dads visa and he will go to jail and we will have to go to our home country. So she made me lie to the cops that "they just had a small arguement and I assumed things" and now we arent talking to my dad but last time i stood up he slapped me and now he is cursing me. And welll idk what to do. I wanna cry but there are no tears in me. I am listening to music and acting and seeming like to not care but there is nothing.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi i am 12 years old i dont fell safe at home because my step dad banged my head against the wall and told me not to tell anyone that he did that. I fell like killing myself . i wishe i could just disaper. i hae been in the hospital because of my step dad he raped me onec and said h was going to kill me pls help me
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 04-08-2022, 09:01 PM. Reason: removed name

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks so much for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. This sounds really scary and it takes a lot of bravery to reach out for help, we’re really glad you got in touch.

    First off, if there is violence happening in your home and you don’t know what to do, you can always call 9-1-1 if something like that happens again. There are also services like the National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) that may be able to provide you with more information. Child Help (https://www.childhelp.org/) could be another helpful resource, they have a hotline and a live chat.

    Additionally, there are many other resources available to you. We’d be happy to provide you with contact information for those resources if you reach out to us via live chat (1800Runaway.org) or call us via hotline (1-800-Runaway) both of which are available 24/7 & 365.

    Experiencing something like that can bring up a lot of feelings, some may come up sooner and some may come up later. We encourage you to reach out to our hotline or live chat so we can provide you with any local counseling resources, or even if you just want to talk about how you’re feeling.

    Good luck, and again, thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    This all happened last night my mom and dad were in the bathroom with my little brother (3 years old) and I'm ten so they are washing his hair and my mom wanted me in there but my dad was naked so I just stayed in my room on my computer and my mom didn't know why he wanted her in there so she asked "what do you want me to do in here with yall" and he said "keep us company" so they are going back and forth then I hear her say "whatever" then she took my little brother and they leave the bathroom and then I hear my dad get in the shower and he is calling her a ********** and then he gets out the shower goes in the room and tells me and my brother get the ******** out so I grabbed my brother and we leave then I hear him say "watch your ********ing mouth when you're talking to me or ill knock your teeth out your ********ing mouth" and I hear her starting to cry and I have an anxiety attack and then the arguing and then I'm trying to get to my mom but he didn't let me and he tells me to go back in the room so he tells her to say sorry to him and she says "I'm sorry pls just let me go calm down the kids" and he said "no you is so ********ing fake" and he let her go in the room with me and my brother then he goes in the room and slams the door be him and my mom starts crying and says "he tried to choke me with that cord" I don't feel safe what should I do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Till now my dad had an online affair with a lady which my mom found out...she got very angry... She always says this point in every argument as he kept chatting with the lady... Till now dad used to only say that he would hit but today..he just started hitting... today it was in the morning when mom was asked to send the pages of copy as the student was absent Do she asked me to send...my dad said that...we should not be soo helpful to someone.. And my mom said we should.. And it turned into a fight....my mom said that chatting can be done...but helping can't..!!dad got offended and started to hity mom....I didn't understood what to do...I just sat at my place...I was very scared...now I just can't do anything...I have an exam tomorrow but just can't study...I am very scared...! What to do..!
    I am from India

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi and thank you for reaching out to NRS! That must have been really scary to witness and experience. I'm sorry that you and your mom went through that. It sounds like a lot to deal with and sort through. Documenting the abuse is a way to have proof that you Dad was abusive. You did call the police so they will have a record of what happened. You can also take photos of both you and your mom's injuries so that you have proof of what occurred. As far as what will happen to your Dad, it will depend on if you and your mom want to do. Your mom can get a no contact order so your Dad won't be allowed to come back home. It also may be a good idea for you to contact NRS directly through the hotline to get more information to guide you in the best way possible so you get all of your questions answered correctly. It would also be an option to contact your local police department to ask these questions if you feel comfortable doing so. To contact NRS directly, you can call 1-800-runaway or click on the chat option to talk one on one. Thank you for reaching out today. I hope these suggestions help you to figure out your situation. We are here 24/7 to help. Please reach out again at anytime! Thank you and take care. NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Currently lying with my mom with ice on her face. My dad is a good person, he’s an amazing dad I just think he needs some help with his anger issues. He gets out of control when he’s very passionate about an issue whether it politics or anything like that. Today my parents were arguing about my sister skipping school and I was in the living room and I heard them grabbing one another. I ran to their room and I saw my dad and my mom wrestling one another. I did not recognize my dad my mom was screaming so loud and I had to get in between them I tried so hard but my mom kept yelling at my dad and my dad put his hands around her neck and she was so red. I started hitting him and jumping on him and I’m pretty sure as he was trying to hit my mom he punched my in the eye. My mom has a big lump on her forehead and a swollen lip. I yelled at him and told him to get out of the room once I shouted he hit me too. He immediately regretted it and started pacing around the living room and putting his hands in his face. I don’t even think he recognizes or can control himself. I called 911 and the cops arrested him. I still love him and my mom still loves him. But this changes everything. I hope he just gets fined but I want them to separate. They’ve been together for 18 years and this is the first time something this extreme happened. My mom is Filipino and when he was in the army they met. Just a couple weeks ago was their anniversary and my mom was telling me how they met and how in love they were. Just this morning they were together only until they started arguing I think he lost control of himself. He’s a good father that’s done a bad thing, my mom keeps blaming herself and shouted at me when the cops came. This is his first time ever doing something like this he’s been in the army for 30 years, and I truly think he has some unresolved mental issues... what do you think will happen to my dad?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    So today I hear my mom start screaming at my step father and I let it continue for like a minute or so and I hear my mom start crying in a crying voice and I hear her out of breath so I immediately run to her to see if she’s ok and I see my step father choking her and so I run and get her out of the way and he says “don’t f*king get involve piece of sh!* and I ignore and he says “oh you think your all big sh!* huh?” And then he grabs my neck and turns me around and punches my left eye (which is now bruised and red) then my mom gets in and she says “don’t you ever fu*king hit him again”
    and she moves me and my step father say “he needs to start working if he’s gonna get involved and I start talking a lot of facts and he pushes me and goes back to yelling at my mother so my reactions were to get In frontt of my mother (my mom,growing up all her boyfriends use to abuse her a lot but she’s always Been strong for us) so I get in front of her and get hits my back and just starts telling me that I’m not worth anything and my mom starts cussing and he leaves I was left with a black eye and a bruised back my mom was left with marks on her neck and I am still shaking even writing it here.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you're living in an abusive environment, which is toxic and not acceptable. You are within your rights to report any abuse happening inside the home, www.childhelp.org can be a great resource when looking to report abuse, and we can also assist you in filling out an abuse report if you call or chat us. If you ever feel unsafe we encourage you to reach out to law enforcement, a trusted adult, or a friend.We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.Be safe,NRS
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