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  • My dad hit my mom and I got involved.

    I'm a 15 year old girl and ever since I can remember , every tiem my parents fight it gets physical. My dad hits my mom and I hear her falling or getting hurt and I run in and move him to the side. My mom yells at me, and is mad that I get involved but I can't help it. I feel scared and constantly have nightmares. But today my mom was mad at him for coming g home so late and never spending time with us so she told him off. He came home and immediately jumped on top of her while she was laying on her bed and tried to hit her. I heard and ran in to help and I grabbed my dad and moved him off of her. She yelled at me to leave and got mad at me. My dad grabbed me And told me not to get in his way by grabbing me very aggressively. I couldn't move, I couldn't believe what was happening. I started shaking and found it hard to breathe. My dad grabbed his stuff and told me that I couldn't go ******** Andy to get out of his way , he left. My mom yelled and me and was mad at me for interfering. I don't know what to do. Please help.

  • #2
    Hello,
    Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re in a very difficult situation and that you are afraid and frustrated. We’re sorry to hear about the situation with your parents. You don’t deserve to be treated that way when you got grabbed aggressively by your father and you don’t deserve to be treated like that by any adult and especially by a parent. Parents should be there to provide for your needs and support you. You’re also very brave for trying to intervene and stop your mother from being hurt.

    If you ever feel in danger for yourself or your mother again you can always call 911 in case of an emergency.

    Since you don’t feel safe at home, something you could consider could be staying with family or a trusted friend. Talking to somebody you trust about what’s going on at home could also help, like a counselor at school or a teacher, if you feel comfortable doing so. You could also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1800-799-7233 or the website childhelp.org for more resources that could help in your situation. You can also always call us and we would be happy to look up resources in your area, talk with you about your options, or just listen to what you’re going through.

    We’d like you to know you’re really brave for reaching out about your situation to us and for trying to intervene when your parents fight. That takes a lot and we can definitely appreciate how difficult that can be. Remember, you can always contact us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST.
    We do hope that you reach out to us through phone or chat to discuss your situation in more detail. Our goal is to help you find ways to stay safe. We’re here to help.

    Regards,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      it was my birth day and my mom wanted to take me to go get dinner and my dad told her no i have stuff to do when i did not she comes by and knocks then comes in then calls my name my dad told her to get out now and she said she wanted to take me to dinner he said no get the ******** out of my house over and over and my mom walks upstairs to get me as she said lets go my dad starts to call the police and my mom grabs his phone and trys to walk off my dad walks up behind her and hit her on the back with a hand my mom says what the hell you hit me and my mom starts getting close and my dad pushes her to the ground and puts her in a headlock sorta all while this is happening my mom is calling at me yelling at me to call the police and when i get the phone i go down stairs and call i told them where i live and whats happening and when the police came they broke up every thing my mom has a busted lip my dads fine exept for a bruise i left when i tackled him to get off my mom i dont know what to do whenever i stare i see my dad with my mom in a head lock then me coming from the cat walk and running into him in third person it has been messing me recently and i dont like it

      Comment


      • ccsmod11
        ccsmod11 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to us today. What you've described definitely sounds like a very scary situation indeed and it makes sense how it could have impacted you in a way where you keep seeing your dad with your mom in a head lock. We can help you talk through the situation you described, either over the phone or on chat. We can help you process this situation and we can refer you to mental health counselors that can help you on a long-term basis. We can help you develop coping strategies for dealing with the impacts of the violence you witnessed between your parents. Please call us at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us at 1800runaway.org for access to these services.

        Best,
        NRS

    • #4
      Seen my dad get physical multiple times. Tonight was the worst as he hit her on the head with a wine bottle and she started bleeding and it became swollen. I called the police as I helped her with the bleeding and I hate myself for covering up for my dad saying she fell and hit her head. I feel angry and frustrated and guilty. The hospital was useless and the wait was long as the workers sat there joking with each other. My mom just ended up wanting to go home and now I can't sleep at night because I keep thinking the injury is going to get worse. I hate my dad and I wish he went to jail but he's the only one taking care of the family. I don't know what to do.

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

        If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

        Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
        Take care,
        NRS

    • #5
      My dad hit my mom today over a very silly issue. I of course intervened started to cry and tried pushing my dad away however he hit her as he was too strong for me. Calling the police is not an option for me as there are severe consequences i know my dad truly loves us and he is only doing this out of short temper so i dont want anything to happen to him . But at the same time i want to protect my mother.i just want to show strength and stand up to my dad but i dont know how. Please help me.

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds like you love both your parents and want to make sure that everyone is being protected.

        Absolutely no one deserves to be abused - you or your mom. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        All the best,
        NRS

    • #6
      Im a 15 year old girl and since a was a baby my dad would hit my mom all the time and he stopped like 2 years ago because i hit him when he hit her but he still says things to her and he hit me last month for no reason i tried to defend myself nut hes stronger than me but i still try to defend my mom when he hits her.he hit her today and we didn't call the police because my mom doesn't want him im jail But i can't stand him i hate him so much my mom tells me im too young to hate him but i cant i already hate him its too late

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds like you care a lot about your mom and her safety. Neither you nor your mother should have to be in this situation and should live somewhere where you feel safe and secure.

        You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. If you'd like some additional support you can also to the National Domestic Violence Hotline for support and help safety planning. Their website is thehotline.org or by calling 800-799-7233.

        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        All the best,
        NRS

    • #7
      My dad has been beating my mom on and off for years but today he looked like he was going to do something very bad. So I jumped in front of my mom to protect her as I always do while my uncle held him back . They drove off together in our car and I fear for my mothers and my siblings safety when he comes back. I don’t know what to do .

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello, thanks so much for posting! Sounds like home can be a bit unpredictable and maybe even unsafe! We are glad you reached out for help today!
        You said your dad hit your mom and you jumped in while your uncle held dad back and then mentioned two people drove off. We aren't sure who exactly left, dad and mom or dad and uncle. It sounds like dad left and you are worried for your own safety, your mom and siblings for when he gets back. That is understandable for sure given the circumstances!

        Your safety and that of your mom and siblings is of most importance to us here at NRS. If there is any child abuse going on, Child Help (1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org) may be able to help. We can also help you find a safe place to go, how to report abuse if there is any and you want to report it, and helping you come up with a plan to stay safe and keep everyone in your family safe. This is all a lot for a young person to handle alone! We are here to support you and hope there are people around you who can too. You mentioned your uncle: perhaps he can help your mom and siblings stay safe. Or perhaps there is another family member, neighbor, or friend who could help.

        If you or your mom are ever in immediate danger of getting seriously hurt by your dad, you can always call 911 and the police can come and help diffuse the situation. There is also the Domestic Violence Hotline which has confidential safe homes for those who are hurt by spouses and their children so that may be an option for your mom, you and siblings. DV Hotline: 1-800-799-7233, thehotline.org.

        For a safe place for youth close to you. you can go to nationalsafeplace.org or Text "SAFE" and your location to 44357.

        It shows a lot of strength in you reaching out and we are here to support you! It sounds like you care a lot about your mom and siblings too which shows a lot of compassion on your end. We are 24/7 so call or chat through our website (top of the page) anytime!

        Stay Safe!

    • #8
      Hey everyone, I am from Saudi Arabia, my father is Saudi but my mother is Russian. I live in Saudi with my parents and two small siblings. My father has been always abusive to my mother when I was little, not until my mother decided to leave and take me along. My father decided to take me away. And he basically stole me from my mom. After that after 1 year and a half my mother couldn’t stop thinking about me I kept getting sick every time and my father didn’t really know what to do with me. So my mother decided to come back for me. Which eventually led them to live together and build up the family all over again. I ended up having a brother and a sister. Of course they used to fight a lot through the time I was growing older. But lately he’s been acting weird, aggressive, abusive, and disrespectful. I am not sure if that’s cause he’s getting older. But his family were always something more than us. He would kill us for them. About a week ago one of his brothers disrespected him which lead him to stop talking to us, and treating us unwell. His family members always impacted that way on him. Which lead him always to turn his back on us and abuse us instead facing them. Today my mother asked him after 4 weeks of silence, “Why do you treat us this way, why is it on us?” Why don’t you treat others this way as well?” He said “like who?” She said “like your brother”. That’s when the cursing and the yelling about her and her mom was going on nonstop. I went into the conversation after a while of listening to all of the cursing and threats. I just started at him as he said all of that. He asked what are you looking at and started throwing whatever he has on the table affront of him. I said stop doing this as he came up to me and started hitting me my mom tried to stop him and he started hitting her too. This is the 4rth time in my life when my father lays his hands on me. I know that he’s definitely not okay. And I am scared, as you may or may not know that in Saudi you don’t have a way of getting away or anything like that. I really don’t know what to do. I feel cuffed 500 times. I feel weak...
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-30-2019, 02:36 AM.

      Comment


      • #9
        Hey everyone, I am from Saudi Arabia

        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

        With everything that you have been going through at home with your parent’s it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Well done. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way.

        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
        If you would like to talk more in detail, please contact NRS to chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        Since you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
        We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

        Take care,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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