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Need to leave my house, 18!!!

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  • Need to leave my house, 18!!!

    I have come to the conclusion that I need to leave my mother and her boyfriend's home if I want to stay sane. I am absolutely fed up with her at this point. She is convinced that I am some wayward child that has no once of responsibility though I am taking 5 classes in community college and working two jobs. I am struggling to make a life for myself, and instead of being supportive, her and her boyfriend insult me constantly and make my life a living HELL. I am tired of the negativity, it is beginning to weight me down. Recently, I got my car (that I pay for) taken away because I overslept twice and missed the same two classes and I went over the curfew of 11 pm ONCE! My mother told me that I could get my car back in two weeks. Today was the day that I was supposed to get it back, but she add more time, just because she felt like it. I have no time for this, I have stuff to do!!!! I have to go see advisers for university next year, I have a important appointment for my health, etc. and I can't go because she doesn't "feel like" giving MYYY car back to me. I was already planning to move out at 21, but if it is possible to leave earlier I want to, because I cannot deal with this, it is affecting my school work and my mental being. This is only a tiny chunk of my issues with her, the boiling point basically. I am starting a savings account already, and I am routing out an escape plan. I really hate her. Plus, I am not surprised if she is planning to kick me out, she always threatens to do so.

  • #2
    Re: Need to leave my house, 18!!!

    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things have been especially tough at home with you and your mom and we are sorry to hear about all of this. We’re glad that you contacted us, we’re here to help in any way that we can.

    It has got to be really frustrating to be trying to get things finalized for yourself and your future, and having it be effected in this way by your mom. That has got to be extremely stressful for you. It sounds like you are a really responsible person, do you think that there is any compromising with your mom, like taking the car as long as it is for a specific appointment or prior responsibility? If you would like assistance having someone mediate a conversation with your mom and you, you can call us at 1800ruanway and we can conduct a conference call with the two of you.

    So we’re not legal experts but generally speaking if you leave before the age of 18, or before you are considered a legal adult in your state, without permission from your legal guardians, they would have the right to make a runaway report. If a runaway report is made, and the police find you, typically they just bring you back home. It’s a status offense to run away, not a criminal offense, however, if you are filed as a runaway, anyone that you stay with could potentially be charged for harboring. You shared that you are saving money, and you are routing an escape plan. Do you have a place in mind that you would be going to once leaving home?

    We’re not here to tell you what to do one way or another, we’re just here to help keep you safe and work through all your options. Please do not hesitate to reach out to us if you would like to talk further through your situation. We’re here to support you.

    Good luck and stay safe,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

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    • #3
      My girlfriend wants to run away

      Hi my situation is kind of the same but it is with my girlfriend she's already 18 and is turning 19 soon she lives with her dad, grandma, and little sister. Her grandmother is always treating her in a really bad way and always tells her off. My girlfriend is a really quiet person and doesn't want people to know but her father is a serious enough alcoholic and is always getting into barfights and doesn't come home for days he's been fired from multiple jobs, my girlfriend is terrified of him and wants to move out but has nowhere to go my parents love her but they're really traditional and say you should only move in with your partner after you marry, this is our last year in high school and she signed up for a Spanish 2 class since she had already taken her spanish 1 class she plans on going to college one day to become a lawyer but she needs the Spanish 2 class and the other day we went to school to get our new schedules and she got the Spanish 2 class anso once her dad found out he flipped out on her and started to yell at her telling her she's gonna fail and he went to the school and took her back to Spanish 1 and she told him she needs that class to go to college but he said shes not even going to college and rn he is on his way home and she is scared that he's going to do something she talked to my sister and she said she can move into her house that she just barely purchased even though it doesn't have any furniture in it my girlfriend is still worried that he father might try looking for her and she doesn't want to put a restraining order on him

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      • #4
        Re: Need to leave my house, 18!!!

        Thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline, we’re here to listen and to help. It sounds like your girlfriend is in a really tough situation – it’s good that she has someone in her corner like you, who clearly cares for her and is there to provide support. Everyone deserves to feel safe and loved in their home, and from your description of the treatment she has received from her grandmother and father, it sounds like home has not been that place for her, and that excessive drinking by her father is causing a great deal of strain as well. You mentioned that she’s already 18, turning 19 – in some states, she may be considered of legal age, and have more rights about where she can live/what types of decisions she can make for herself, such as moving in with your sister. A great resource to help you determine the legal age for your state is www.sexetc.org, choose Action Center>Sex in the States and then click on the appropriate state in the interactive map that appears. She may want to consider contacting a legal resource to discuss her legal options, particularly if she feels unsafe – we have database of resources that we could use to provide her referrals if she would like. They may have other options to suggest besides a restraining order if that is not something that she feels is right for her situation. The important thing is that she feels safe where she resides.
        We hope this is helpful. If she wants to discuss further please know that we are available to talk 24 hours, 7 days a week to help her explore options, just call 1-800-RUNAWAY. Good luck to you.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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