16 and wanting to leave my parents home

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out. We are so sorry to hear about everything you are going through at home. Verbal abuse and domestic violence is never okay, and it is easy to see why you are feeling anxious and upset. We are here to help however we can.

In situations like this, where you may be feeling endangered because of a parent’s actions, one option available is to make a child abuse report. There is certainly no pressure to file one if you aren’t comfortable with it, but if you are interested, this can be done through contacting the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. The hotline worker you speak with will collect some basic location information from you and then transfer you to the correct agency in your area that deals with these types family issues.

This agency will follow-up by initiating an investigation to learn more about the situation going on at home, with the goal of coming up with a safe solution for you (and any siblings you might have). These investigations are all different, but some typical outcomes can be things like parents being required to take parenting classes or go to counseling, or a parent or youth being removed from the home. Every situation is different, but those are some of the possibilities.

Another option available might be to go and stay with a relative or other trusted adult. Because you are 16 years old, your parents would need to give the okay in order for you to do this legally. But, if they are willing to let you live with another family, then it is legally okay to do so. And even if they didn’t give permission for you to leave permanently, it is sometimes a good option even if just temporary, in order for a youth and parent to get space from one another for a while.

There may also be youth shelters in your area that you could stay in. We’d be happy to look into those for you if you’d like. Some may require parental permission, but some may not. It varies a little bit state-to-state.

You also mentioned depression and cutting. Sometimes it can be really helpful to talk through those things with others who’ve gone through them. If you’re interested, you can look into this resource: To Write Love on Her Arms at twloha.com. Or we are also happy to look up free or low-cost counseling services in your area if that would work better for you.

If you have other ideas or want to talk through anything we’ve written above, please feel free to reach out to us anytime via our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-786-2929. Or, you can chat with us via or website at www.1800runaway.org.

Best of luck,
National Runaway Safeline (NRS)

I am 16 years old and I want to leave my home, I live a normal life but I am depressed and verbally abused. I have suffered from cutting and am somewhat paranoid and have problems with my anxiety. I get panic attacks and my mother mocks and makes fun of them. I get upset and that's how we argue. My father doesn't really talk to me but he does argue with me about my behavior. They both don't seek help for me and they both don't seem to care about me. My family has a past of domestic violence which left me traumatized. My sister is the one given all the attention. I don't mind but my dad is very obsessive about her up to a point where it doesn't look healthy, my mom make a deal with my father that she would take care of my sister and that he will have to take care of me..they both tell me that I could do whatever i want since I always do that but it's not true, I usually stay home and do my schoolwork (I'm homeschooled) I don't even have any friends to go to since they all left me and as a result I never do anything wrong..but for everything I do it's "wrong" i hardly go outside of my home and when they want to go somewhere as a "family" I'm upset because I know I'm going to argue with them and have a bad day. I'm always wanting to stay in my room and I know that that is not healthy. My questions are: if you were in my place what would you do? Is getting adopted to a different family an option? Is a foster home possible?

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