I'm confused and upset.

[Guest]

I'm 17 and my life isn't horrible. I live with my mom and my step-dad. I love my mom more than anything, but ever since her and my step-dad got married our relationship is gone completely. I feel awkward sometimes even being with her. Last year I got in trouble with the school for skipping class, and after that I didn't skip anymore. I have tried to talk my mom into different ways she can be sure I go to school and I stay, because all I want is for her to be proud of me and trust me. But when I told her my ideas she completely blew up on me saying "You're 17 years old, nobody should have to watch you". I never said I had to be watched, I just want her to trust me again. I plan on going to school every single day and I AM going to graduate this year.

I told my mom I was getting to graduate early with 31 credits, and we only need 32. She didn't say anything about that, not that she was proud or anything. So it seems to me, whenever I do anything good it's "oh, well, thats good, but whatever" but when I do one thing bad in my whole highschool career it's "your horrible, I can't trust you ever again" blah blah blah blah. And my mom tells everybody when I do something bad, so then I have 4 other family members calling me asking me the samething...I mean...good god.


This woman has drivin' me to the limit. If we get into a fight she will usually hit me and finally the last time I told her is she even thought about touching me I was going to walk out of that door and not come back. She thinks that because it's open handed it doesn't hurt or even the fact my mom hits me like that doesn't hurt me. We haven't had a fight since then, but I'm sure if we did she would hit me. She turns things I say back onto me. Like I've told her that I hate that we never get to 'hang out' anymore, and she'll say something along that lines of "Well, you should come see me more often". Whenever I do try fat ass step-dad is sitting right there listening to everything we say and butting in. I don't think she understands that when I want to spend time with her, I mean only her. I have completely given up on being liked or even me liking my step-dad, I could care less about him.

I have a beautiful cat that would be the only thing I regret leaving, if I ran away. I have a very caring boyfriend that has helped my through alot and he makes me feel important, unlike my mom. My mom hates my boyfriend, everybody does, and that kills me. I've been dating him 3 years and they still haven't taken the time to actually talk to him. They think that he is a bum and just dropped out of school and isn't going to school and doesn't want to get a job, but if they did talk to him about all that, they would find out he does go to school and he has tried getting jobs and is still trying. And I know for a fact if I ran away she would tell the cops that that is where I went.

Right now, I am thinking about running away, but I don't want to put my boyfriend at risk or my friends. I know my problem isn't as major as others, but I would really like some opinions.

I am very sorry if what I wrote is scattered around, I'm not one to be a great writer.
Thank you!

[ccsmod2]

Re: I'm confused and upset.

Thanks for contacting us here at NRS. It seems as if there are a lot of things on your mind that you needed to get out. You discussed the fact that the relationship between your mom and you has not been the same since she got married. You also mentioned a time when you skipped school and as a result of that got into some trouble and kind of lost your mother's trust. Despite that, you seem to be wanting to prove and convince your mom that what you did was a mistake,that you are serious about attending classes and want her to be proud of you. It must be very hard to focus on doing things that will make your parents proud and then not have them recognize such things. Even so, your goals to go to school every single day and graduate early this year are exceptional and we here recognize the effort you are putting forth. The hardest thing for you seems to be understanding why your mom blows things out of proportion when it is bad, but when something is good, she has a hard time recognizing. Also, it is not fair for your mom to share your business with other friends and family members who would then be able to call you out and ask you about private things.

You also mentioned that you mom and you get into fights with one another. The last time you kind of made a threat to leave if your mom were to hit you again and so far, no fight has taken place between you two. Another thing is that you long for the attention of your mother and want to spend time with her on a personal level without her husband around. Is that correct to say?

So, at this point you are thinking about taking off and leaving home but you have a beautiful cat that you would regret leaving behind. Is she the only thing that you would miss dearly? Even though you have been with your boyfriend for the last couple of years, your mother doesn't seem too supportive of your relationship with your boyfriend. They have these underlying assumptions about him, but it is important that you recognize what he is doing to help himself that they just may not be aware of.

Now your plan is to runaway. You said that you have been thinking about this lately, have you come up with an actual plan? What did you finalize about having to leave your boyfriend and your other friends? It may not seem to you that your problem is major but it is something you would like help in working out. We are 24 hrs and confidential and can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you want to give us a call and discuss some of your options. Again, thanks for contacting us. Feel free to give our number out to more of your friends so that we offer them some support as well. Until next time, good luck with things!