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I can't stand to live with my parents anymore.

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like things are pretty stressful over at your girlfriend’s house. It’s good that you have each other for friendship and support. You are dealing with a lot on your own with anxiety and panic attacks and having her in your life sounds beneficial for you both. Working on your own mental health is the best way to help her, so that you are in a good place to offer support. There are a few issues in your post that we can address here. It sounds like her father threatens you with the police. We are not legal experts, but from what you say, he has no grounds to follow through. Given the closeness in a age between you and your girlfriend, when you turn 18 you can google Romeo and Juliet laws and your state’s name to see if you are protected, which you very likely are.
    As far as your girlfriend’s situation, we would like to talk with her and help her discover her own answers and options. As well as you know her, only she has the interior knowledge that comes from being human. A family dealing with a person who may be a domestic abuser is a complicated dynamic where everyone in the family has to worry about their own safety, either emotional or physical. For more help and information for your girlfriend and/or her mom, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233 or at www.thehotline.org
    For each of you, you and your girlfriend, we hope that you can each separately reach out to us either by phone or via live chat. This way we can have a discussion to help you during these difficult times. Our pnone number is 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) or access live chat through the website at www.1800runaway.org
    We hope this helps. NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    So my girlfriend is 15 and at her house her dad, sisters, and sometimes her grandma verbally attack her like for instance her dad this morning said "if you don't wake up i am cutting off the wifi and suspending your phone service so you can not talk to your boyfriend" i am 2 yrs older then her and she feels 1,000,000% more safe being at my house then her own but anytime she mentions living somewhere else or getting married in the future her dad automatically threatens to call the police on me. I've heard him say it cause im on call with my girlfriend 24/7 cause she doesnt feel safe at her home but she doesnt want to go into the foster system she wants to stay with me but her dad is constantly threatening me with the cops like yesterday he threw a pair of handcuffs at me and said "if you do anything with my daughter this is what will happen to you" he was implying getting me arrested but her sister is always making her do everything for her and the only one that takes my girlfriends side is her mom. my girlfriends mom is constantly being put down, yelled at, etc... my girlfriends dad walks all over my girlfriends mom, her sisters, her grandma, and her my girlfriend has no say in anything with out her dad saying hes gonna call the cops on me or says "whatever nothing i say matters anyway so im done you wont have to deal with me anymore when im dead you'll get my insurance money and my survivor benefits" my girlfriend has told her dad several times she doesnt like when he says or acts like that and its to the point shes gonna leave or im gonna lose her and i cant she is like the only thing that calms my anxiety and panic attacks and i do they same thing for her. its at the point shes gonna leave her house and go somewhere and im not the type of boyfriend that is gonna let her do that and not do anything about it like if she leaves im gonna find her and be with her

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  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m just having trouble understanding. One moment I just don’t wanna be here and I just idk I want to be with my real parents I can’t live here anymore

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    We are glad you reached out to us. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. It sounds overwhelming at your house and dealing with your Dad. You don’t deserve to have your Dad leaning on you for his emotional help dealing with his issues. It sounds like you have been swamped with his issues and problems for a long time. You deserve to have your space and your experiences that are not all centered around his problems or his demands.

    There are a couple of options we could explore with you to try to find you some help and support in your community, free counselling or maybe with some other family members. The best way for us to discuss this further with you would be for you to chat with us on our website at www.1800RUNAWAY.org or to call us directly on our 24/7 hotline at (800) 786 2929. We are a non-directive agency which means we want to work out a plan for you that works best for you and not tell you what to do. Thank you for reaching out to us for help, we hope to hear from you soon.

    Thank, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I've been having this feeling as well.
    It's recently come to my attention how messed up my home life really kind of is. I've always been close to my Dad, we share the type of humor, but he's not without his parenting faults. I think he accidentally put me in the position of being his friend/therapist. I've always known my Dad was abused because he told me. I think he was trying to teach me to always treat people with kindness or something but I was way too young for this. One of the first memories I have of my dad is him telling me about how his mother held a gun to his head when he was a kid and I thought sharing things like this to your 7-year-old daughter was normal for quite a long time. I love my Dad but I really think he needed to get his issues worked out with someone before he had a kid. He can be very two-faced and irritable because of this. He over thinks a lot of things. This past year I started taking advanced classes. They were really tough on me and my mental state. I ended up getting a C in algebra (I was never the best at math anyway so this class was really rough on me), my Dad flipped out yelling at me and asking why "I would mess my grade up" as if I did it purposefully. Another bad memory I have of him from my childhood, was when I was I think 8 or 9, my family went to this really huge mall. I was scared to go down the escalators (I had scraped the back of my foot on one in the past) so my Dad decided to yell at me and call me a "chicken********" (a favorite insult for when I was scared as a kid) over and over until I got on. Another time I had got a cd for Christmas but when I went to played it (a month later) it had scratches all over it. It would not play but I had already thrown away the receipt. When I told my Dad he would just not let it go. He made me go outside at around 8:00 at night and dig through the trash can for it. I had told him over and over that "It was fine" and that i "didn't want to", he just yelled at me until he got his way. We brought it to the store and got my money back but I felt disgusting. Yet, I keep finding myself forgiving him because well, he was abused. I can't keep doing this as I find myself losing empathy for those around me.

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  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: Hello. Where can I go?

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We’re glad you reached out and we would like to be of some assistance if we can.
    We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello. Where can I go? I'm 17 and female. Is there a group where teens gather or something?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.

    We are sorry to hear that you are coping with depression and other issues. If you were interested in professional mental health services, a good resource could be the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) at 1-877-726-4727 and online at samhsa.gov. Additionally, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) is a resource with support groups among other services, at 1-800-950-NAMI and online at nami.org.

    You may not be able to influence how they respond to you, but you can manage your reactions and not give them control in the situation. If you haven’t already, we would encourage you to write down how you feel for your own sake to vent your emotions, as well as to be able to articulate them in a way that perhaps feels less confrontational to your parents

    We would love to talk more about the details of your situation so that we can work towards a solution that you find acceptable. If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.

    We hope this information was helpful and take care.
    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hey Soo I'm 18 and I can't stand my parents anymore. I've been abused in many ways, but because it's not physical, it doesn't matter. Not to my parents, nor my sibling, not even my doctor. I also have amental illnees so instead of the abuse being the cause, it is some how the freken resault. Everyday at home is always a battle, and I always have to solve it. No one in the house is emotional excep me, so I'm also sliding into an o so wonderful depression

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds like you’re very hard working and have a lot on your plate. Your situation must be exhausting and frustrating.

    You mentioned that you have self-harmed in the past. We care a lot about your safety, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time.

    It sounds like you’re dealing with some emotional abuse – no one deserves to be treated that way. Everyone should be treated with respect and feel comfortable in their home. Child abuse and emotional abuse can vary from state to state but if could be worthwhile to check with your local Child Protective Service agency. If you’d like, you can find your local CPS agency here: www.childhelp.org.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    All the best,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I can't live with my guardians anymore. I'm seventeen and I'm so close to being an adult, but I can't take it anymore. My dad and grandfather were arrested when I was three, and my brothers and I lived with our mom for the majority of our childhoods. She passed away when I was twelve and I was separated from my brothers less than a year after her death. Her death broke me and altered me entirely. My older brother went to foster care because no one could take care of him since he requires twenty four hour medical care, and I moved a thousand miles away with my younger brother to live with my aunt and uncle. Less than a year after that, my younger brother moved five hundred miles away to live with my mom's best friend. Fast forward to today, he's moving back to where my brother is, and my grandfather is potentially getting released early due to a compassionate release. I still live with my aunt and uncle, but I can't take it anymore. Everything I do is wrong and they tell me that I'm faking my depression in order to try to avoid getting in trouble, but I'm not. They constantly contradict themselves when telling me what to do or what's right versus what's wrong, and they constantly patronize me. They make me feel like I'm nothing, mock me, and constantly say terrible things to me about myself and my mother. The only time they ever say anything nice about me to me is when they are mean enough to bring me to tears and then insert the "but" comments such as "but you are doing everything you're supposed to do", "but you're not inherently a bad kid", or "but you're balancing everything really well." And then tell me that tomorrow is a new day and that I can start with a clean slate. I feel like that's manipulative because then it makes me unable to be mad at them, since all of that happened yesterday, and they insert the "but comments" because then I'll feel guilty if I am frustrated or upset about the other stuff they said. I can't stand it because I'm taking as many advanced classes at my school as I can, I have two jobs, and I also play multiple sports, but nothing is ever enough for me. I'm exhausted of coming back from work, school or a sport's practice to hear them talk to me for three hours about all the mistakes I've made, and how I'm the most selfish person they've ever met, or how I'm extremely slutty. They also treat me like a kid when it's beneficial to them and give me the same expectations as an adult when it suits them which is unfair. I can't plan my work schedule accordingly if they take my phone away at night and during prime times to communicate with people, and then they get frustrated when I'm unable to work everything out. They also get frustrated with me when I don't ask them if I can go out and do things or if I don't tell them everything that's going on even though I'm scared they'll get mad at me and say hurtful things. I've also gone to therapy where the therapist has told them that they're not treating me in the best way or are contributing to making our relationship harder, but they don't listen to the therapist and get mad at me for putting myself into the "victim role" of the situation once again and telling her a bunch of ******** that isn't true. Then they stopped me from seeing her. Deep down I want to believe that they have good intentions, but are just misguided with those attempts. They also tell me that I'm making their lives miserable, but whenever I offer to try to find somewhere else to live, they tell me that we don't have that option. They're wrong because I know we have that option- they just don't wish to pursue it. And recently I've relapsed in my depression because of it and have self harmed. I've always thought of running away and living in my car or getting emancipated or going back to be with my brothers again. I don't have enough money on my own to afford a lawyer or anything like that. Is there anything I can do on my own?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,

    Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, it takes a lot of bravery to reach out. It sounds like you are going through a difficult situation. Our organization is based in The United States and unfortunately we do not have much knowledge of laws in other countries. You may want to consider talking to your school counselor about what is going on and they may be able to help you.
    We wish you the best of luck in your situation. And remember you are not alone please stay strong!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello
    I am a 20 y/o Turkish girl living in Belgium, I came upon this page while searching other cases like mine. There isn’t a single place I can find a way of someone understanding me.. I do have help at school and I can leave my home at any time to live for free in a dorm owned by the school I am in. I am also able to get a little mental help But its not really helping me right now.. my situation is that I have a boyfriend, he is belgian, my parents do NOT approve of this and they’re mentally killing me, I actually got sick because of this. They made me choose between him and family But made it clear that I didn’t have a choice. I still have 4 years of college left (my schools can help me with payments for school,..) right now they are treating me like someone soooo ungrateful someone with no respect what so ever, just because I didn’t just want to give up my relationship. I told them I didn’t want to choose my parents got really angry about that and my dad hit me for the first time... I really love them and I do respect them But I can’t just choose the person I want to spend my life with by their choices.. we already are completely different and I know I would be really unhappy in that situation. After every fight my parents act as if there is nothing wrong and as if we are the happiest family ever. I do not want to hurt them But the things they say to me are breaking me so hard .. I feel like I will become really depressed or I will lose my mind.. But I dont know how to just leave them after everything they did for me in my life. My mom wants me to graduatie and then I can maybe talk about it again But honestly even if my mom accepts it my dad never will and he even says He will devorce my mom if she tries to have contact with me then, which makes me so angry and have a little less respect for him. I still care so much about them and I want to fix this bit the only way is by leaving my boyfriend and honestly I really can not do that. And IF I stay and bear this and act normal like them, I know I will lose him because my parents got even stricter than before, they want to know where I am on paper so I can’t secretly see him anymore like I used to.. as much as we love each other this is in No way a relationship.. it does give my parents the chance to say “I told you so”. How can I just go? How can I just do that to them it will break their heart too and let alone what other people will say about them, they really are great parents and did so much, but I can not let myself get in to this unhappyness for the next years to come.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there,

    Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way.

    You mentioned self-harming as an outlet. We understand that that coping is an important form of self-care. Other ways of coping are listening to music, engaging in physical activities such as walking, reading, speaking to friends, or doing whatever helps you cope best. If you ever felt that you were in serious danger of harming yourself, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available by phone at 1-800-273-8255 and online at suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

    Additionally, your anxiety and depression are valid and deserve to be addressed. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) can provide counseling and other mental health resources in your area, they are accessible by phone, 1-877-726-4727, or online at samhsa.gov. Another resource is the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 1-800-950-NAMI, and www.nami.org.

    In regards to your desire to live with your sister, we would encourage you to speak with your parents if you haven’t already about this. Some things to consider would be guardianship, school enrollment, how you would take care of your needs (eating, sleeping, healthcare), and how you would care for your safety if something were to happen. If you were interested, we also offer conference-calling as an option, where we would mediate a constructive conversation between your parents and yourself in order to reach an understanding.

    If you would like to talk about other resources and support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
    We hope this information was helpful and take care.
    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
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