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  • I don't want to live with my mom anymore

    I’m 13 years old. My mom and I don't have a great relationship. She just provides a shelter and food for me which I shouldn't really be complaining but I can't take living here anymore. I'm much happier with other people. She’s a heavy drinker and sometimes even drinks and drives with me in the car. I came out to her since I thought she'd be accepting but she told me gay people go to hell and she's going to send me to a church or a camp so they can "fix or shock" me. Sometimes she has even threatened not to buy any more food because of my weight. Even though she does all of these things I could never call cps or the cops on her. If I did I'd feel guilty and like I did something bad but I just can't stand living here with my mom.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-19-2017, 03:30 AM.

  • #2
    Reply: I don't want to live with my mom anymore

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline .

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It is unfortunate that your mother has not accepted you coming out.
    It was very brave of you to tell her it sounds like her reaction with threats has been difficult for you.
    You don’t deserve that kind of behavior from her. Some situations can feel overwhelming and it would be nice to have someone that will just listen.

    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I’m 12 years old and me and my mom have a terrible relationship. She says she gives us everything we need and that i’m ungrateful and she and my dad (when he was out of prison) they were never there mentally. They never understand me. My dad is not in my life gratefully and i don’t want my mom in it either. I am a very happy kid at school but when i go home i hate it. i don’t deserve to feel like this. With all my siblings she has a great relationship with them but with me it’s another story. i hadn’t had a great life so far. and right now i hate it so much i felt like ending it a couple of times but it didn’t work. I jus need help and don’t know what to do when you hate your mom and your family because they “do so much” but really they do nothing but make me mad sad and they make me hurt!

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you are having a rough time at home. It’s really hard when you are getting things from your mom but she isn’t there for you emotionally. It must be hard and incredibly lonely knowing that she has a relationship with your other siblings but not you. Is there someone who can talk to your mom about how she is making you feel, maybe a friend of the family, family member, school counselor or teacher? Also you can contact SAMHSA and get referrals to therapist. That’s another way to start the conversation with your mom about what you are feeling.
        You also mentioned “ending it” and if you ever feel suicidal or have thoughts of suicide you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1800-273-8255. It’s really tough to honestly talk about everything that you are experiencing. You did a great job of being open and honest. That is something you can continue to do in therapy and continue to talk about the issues you are having at home. We are also here as resource you can utilize if you want to talk or explore further what options you have. Contact 1800-Runaway, if you need any further assistance. Best of luck!
        Last edited by ccsmod3; 09-28-2019, 04:43 AM.

    • #4
      I’m 15 and my friend and I recently snuck out and I obviously regret it because we got caught and it was just a stupid decision but my mom literally beat me for it I had scratch marks all over my face because her rings would scratch me when she hit me and she has a brain injury from a car accident about 10 months ago and she uses it as an excuse on why she goes to violence and I just think she’s unwell and I hate coming home now I’ve never been a sad or emotional person but she won’t let me do anything or go anywhere she called me weak and worthless yesterday and the same morning she hit me because she didn’t like what was I wearing

      Comment


      • ccsmod11
        ccsmod11 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, there!

        Thank you very much for writing us! We are here to listen and here to help. So sorry to hear that you are going through such difficulties with your mom! You certainly don’t deserve this. You deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel safe and free from violence.

        Do you have any other support system aside from your mom? Who can you reach out to when things get hard? It is good you have your friend, too. It sounds like you are regretful about your decision to sneak out. People make mistakes, and that is okay. If you fear for your safety, please know that you can report your situation with the National Child Abuse hotline. They can take note of your incidences of abuse, and may decide to investigate. Again, your safety is of the utmost priority. The number is 1-800-4-A-Child or 1-800-422-4453. Know too, that you can reach out to us via chat or call in order to provide you with more supports and a listening ear.

        We hope to hear from you soon!

        NRS

    • #5
      I have no other family my mom has cut off my grandma and my dad signed away all his rights and I think my mom is seriously unwell

      Comment


      • ccsmod13
        ccsmod13 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like your mom has been putting a lot of stress on you and she has also been isolating you from the rest of your family. You deserve to live somewhere that makes you feel safe and taken care of.

        You mentioned that your mom is unwell and it sounds like this is affecting your home environment. Your parents are supposed to provide you with a healthy and safe living situation. If your mom is not able to do this, you can report it. Filing a report would get a social worker involved to help you. If you want to do this you can either talk to a counselor at school or you can talk to the national child abuse hotline (1-800-422-4453 ; childhelphotline.org ). They can give you more information about the reporting process and offer support.

        We are here 24/7 to listen and help. We want to talk with you about your possible options and your next steps. We can best help by phone at 800-786-2929 or you can chat with us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon, so that we can help.

        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #6
      Same girl again so me and my mom have been fighting constantly like we can’t have a conversation without her ending up yelling and she has been hitting me a lot like it wasn’t as frequent the past few years but since this summer (2019) she’s been hitting me a lot and telling me it’s the only way to get me to do things bc of fear I used to cry over it and now everytime she hits me it’s like i feel numb I’m just really unhappy and she keeps grounding me for unreasonable things and I can’t be just leave because I don’t want to get beat or she’ll call the cops so I have no choice but to stay here

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    • #7
      So like tonight around like 8ish I guess I was in the car with my mom and I made a joke about something and she absolutely flipped out and we turned into my neighborhood and she was driving insane and kept like hitting me so I like put my knees up ya know anyways and then she’s like yelling and just freaking out and starts like acting like she’s gonna slam her head on the steering wheel
      Anyways so we get home and she like almost goes through our fence then breaks super hard and is like telling me to gtfo of her car
      Anyways so two days before Christmas she was literally yelling at me telling how she doesn’t understand why everything can’t be her way and how everything should be how she wants it after the year she’s had
      And then like how she wants to kill her self every single day
      How she wants to put a gun to her head bc of my mouth
      And how the only kid she’s supposed to take care of can’t do anything right for her and that like there’s no point in living Bc I dont listen to her anyways
      When she dropped me off last night around 8pm ish she left and made it sound like she was gonna kill herself and so I just kinda let it be thinking she would come home that night but I want to wait til morning to anything for sure well she didn’t come home all night I fell asleep around 3 and so she just got home around 11am I haven’t talked to her and it’s really hard at home I hate being here I’m so unhappy and I just feel like these aren’t the things I should have to be dealing with at my age I’m 15 and this is so much like my mom is telling me she wants to commit suicide because of me that I’m a disappointment and embarrassment I have mental problems and that I’m useless to her also my mom is literally psychotic so ignore I tried to hey help she would actually flip out

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out.

        You mentioned that you have been going through a lot with your mom and it has gotten to the point where you want to leave your home. You’re really brave for staying strong during the arguments and we want you to know that you’re not alone. With that being said, if you think your mom will harm herself when she talks about suicide, you may want to consider reaching out to your local authorities, and advise them of the threats you hear her make, or threats she directs towards you. You may also call the National Suicide Prevention hotline at 1800) 273-8255, and talk to them about your mom making suicidal comments. They may guide you in what necessary precautions to take. School counselors and teachers as well are people that you may trust and confide in about your situation.

        If you’re experiencing any type of abuse you may reach out to the National Child Abuse hotline at 1800) 422-4453. You can talk to someone on the hotline about the abuse, and if necessary, they may help you file a child abuse report. Sometimes a person’s home situation may be a bit too much, and talking to a counselor or therapist about the stressors going on can help ease tension build up. If you find yourself in this situation, you may explore the option of reaching out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness via text by texting the word NAMI to 741741. You would be texting with a counselor, and they may refer you somewhere closer to your city and state.

        We hope these resources and options can be of some use. If you need additional help or want to us to reach out to an organization on your behalf, feel free to contact us 24/7 at 1800) 786-2929. Best of luck!

    • #8
      I need help please I dont want to live here with her

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for reaching out, we know that it takes a lot of courage. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

        Stay safe,
        NRS

    • #9
      I reached out to my school counselors and they called dhs and then I told dhs everything and my mom made them leave and told them I was a liar and basically I think they don’t believe me it’s been a week since seeing dhs no changes. Also my mom is not allowing me to attend school because I told my school counselors.

      Comment


      • #10
        Hi I’m 12 years old, my parents split when I was 4 and a half. At first I was upset but afterwards I wasn’t, I’m glad they aren’t together anymore. When they split my mom would go around tell people lies about my dad and I’m still now sure why, maybe so people would feel bad for her? Anyway, she had managed to get all of her friends, my dads friends, managers at stores, teachers at my school, her family and lots of other people to believe what she had said. My dad wasn’t aloud to work for certain stores and he wasn’t aloud in church anymore. A lot of people hated him and still do. But one day I asked my mom “Why did you and dad break up.” And this is when I heard, and sadly believed those lies. She had said that my dad would sleep with other women during their marriage and that he didn’t care about her. Once she told me this I never looked at my dad the same way. Life was ok after that, everything seemed ok and I was happy. But recently I started venting to my dad about my mom because of how she would go around and tell people everything that happened at home, my dad started sharing about how she would do the same when they were married. After a long talk I asked if the truth was that he would sleep with other people. He explained that yes he did, but my mom did too. They both agreed to having an open marriage and my dad said that he regrets that and would never do anything like that again. I was crying for the rest of the night but not because I was upset with him and my mom, just my mom. I was upset how could she just say a lie so easily to me, a big lie. I started going back to counselling which hasn’t really helped. Anyways, lately I’ve been wanting to live somewhere else. Unfortunately my dad lives in the city with my step mom, who acts more of a mom towards me than my actual mom. I’m planning on asking to live with my grandparents because I can’t leave the town I’ve grown up in and leave all of friends and family members. The only thing is I need my grandparents permission and for them to agree and for my moms consent, which I know I never get from her. I was surprised to find a website like this and I have felt a bit better knowing I’m not the only person feeling this way. One thing I related to was being closeted from my mom, she believes that it’s a sin to my lgbtq but my grandma was talking to me and was saying how she supports lgbtq fully and that’s she comfortable with tha fact that half of her grandkids are lgbtq so I was happy about that, but still haven’t come out yet. Anyways I would like to say I’m very sorry to anyone reading this and relating to it, but your not alone.

        Comment


        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there, and thanks for reaching out to NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

          We're sorry to hear that you've been having a tough time lately, especially with your mom. It can be difficult living with someone who you're not sure you trust, though it's important to know that there are two sides to every story. Some folks even say there are three sides to every story--one person's story, the other person's story, and the truth. Communication is always a helpful tool, and one that you might find helpful to you in trying to work through what you're currently feeling. If you're open to it, you can try to have a conversation with mom about how you're feeling and why it's bothering you. Trying to get on the same page might help you feel more comfortable with where you all are now, though you might not ever understand the decisions that were made, and that's okay too.

          If talking with mom one-on-one isn't feasible for you at the moment, you can also consider trying to have a conversation with both of your parents together, or with someone else that you trust who can help facilitate that conversation (like a family member or a family friend). You mentioned going back to counseling as well, so this is one of those conversations that your therapist might also be able to help with. In fact, you might be able to have a conversation with just you and your dad, just you and your mom, and then the three of you altogether, along with the therapist. Therapy can be super helpful in working through some of these situations that affect families, and you might find the same for you. And because you mentioned that feel it hasn't helped a ton thus far--consider giving it a few sessions and then trying to find another therapist if you continue to feel like it's not helpful. Not every therapist is the right fit for you, but please don't let your takeaway from that be that therapy sucks. It's super important to find the RIGHT fit.

          We hope that you find some of this helpful, but if you'd like to talk in more detail about what's going on at home and explore some of your options, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

          Best,

          NRS

      • #11
        i dont know what to do. and i dont know if my parents are even abusive. my dad isnt around so when i mention my parents i mean my step dad and my mom, who are actually divorced. confusing i know. they never told me why they were even getting divorced. never have, never will. i cant help but think its because of me because in the same year they got divorced, before, i was cutting + was very suicidal. i was 8? maybe? my mom is terrifying. i know she doesnt truly love me. she kicked me out of her house because of the way i shut the micro wave, so i lived with my step dad for a week, and then she made me come back and pretend like nothing ever happned. i do strongly belive she was abusing xanex for a while. her docter, who is a friend, keep that in mind, gave it to her for 'sleeping'. thats not what its used for and i know htat. she has force fed me xanex before when im having panic attacks so i just fall asleep and she wont have to deal with me. she takes my phone for anything i do because she hates me talking to my friends about her and what she does. she wont even let me stay with my grandma because then my mom wont have control of me. whenevr i bring up how i am feeling she calls me crazy and screams at me. i really dont want to live anymore. i took too many of my depression meds and over doesed. i should have gone to the hospital but htye would have drug tested me, i had smoked weed with a friend the day before, which is really weird for me, but i needed something to forget for a little bit. But i never told my mom. only one friend. i was sick for a week, and tbh, i wish i woudve taken one more pill that wouldve pushed me over. im just doing so bad and i have no where to go. ive tried talking to counslers, inside and outside of school, but my mom finds a way to get them to tell her what im talking about. i dont know what to do but i want to do something that isnt ending my life, because i dont want to leave my friends and my sister.

        Comment


        • ccsmod5
          ccsmod5 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          We’re glad you reached out. It sounds like a lot has been going on at home, and it can get pretty overwhelming. We want you to know we are here to support you and want to help you as best we can. There are some concerning things you mentioned, your safety and well-being are #1 priority. Please consider contacting Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. They also have a chat option where you can simply ask questions if you do not feel ready to report the abuse.
          The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
          Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
          If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

          We hope to hear from you soon.

          Be safe and stay strong,
          NRS
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