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Why does my step dad hate me so much?

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  • ccsmod15
    replied
    You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your step dad. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
    We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.
    Be safe,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello im a 12 year old boy and my step dad hates me so much. He makes faces at me, he calls me the meanest names, he insults me, he threatens me, he brings up the very old situations from the past, he compares me to different people for no reason, he makes fun of my weight, and he tells everybody but my family about me. I tried talking to my mom, and she always says she will talk with him but she never does, I talk to my teachers and they do the same thing as my mom, I reach out to my cousins but they don't care, my aunts always give me bad advice, he blames me on everything. I cant even live here now, I just want to leave, I want to never see him again in my life. He treats me like crap every time my mom isn't around, and I have no brothers or sisters. Please, if u can see this, then please give me advice on how to deal with my step dad. Please I just want to live a normal life.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there!

    Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like things between you and your stepdad are pretty difficult right now, and we're sorry to hear that.

    Running away is a big step, and it's definitely a good idea to spend some time thinking through a plan before making that decision. Having an idea of where you'll go, how you'll get there, and what you'll do to survive once you're there are important things to consider. It's also helpful to spend some time thinking about your safety and what steps you can take to try and safeguard that. It's important that you approach this time from a realistic standpoint and that you have some tough conversations with yourself about what you want, what makes the most sense to get you to that point, and if there are any other worthy options you might be able to consider along the way.

    If you'd like to chat in more detail about your situation and/or continue to explore some of your options with us, please feel free to reach out directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY, or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

    Take care.

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    my step dad is really mean and i want to go live with my dad there has been multiple times ive done the littlest things and he will yell at me back in 2020he took the phone my dad gave me when i was in the bathroom he did nit pay for the phone then he told me to go clea the garage and i almost got halway out the neghborhood before i needed to make a plan i just found your website and its .org so i trust ya'll what should i do really want to get away

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey Ellen,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a bit about what's been going on, it sounds like things have changed a lot since the beginning of this year and it must be really stressful and overwhelming. It's clear that you did not mean for Angelina to get hurt and it's not OK for your dad to treat you this way because of an accident. It seems like you want to repair the relationship with your stepdad and are open to talking things out with him which is a huge first step. You should feel proud of yourself for the courage to share your story and the initiative you are taking to resolve the tension!

    It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you’d like, you can also call us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can set up a conference call with your parents so one of our trained crisis workers can act as a mediator.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, can you please help me because idk what to do! So my step dad used to love me so much but then when my uncle from my mom’s side came (his name is Gagik) my dad did not like him so kicked him out of the house. Then a year later he opened up a business and he needed help so he asked gagik to come to help, gagik said yes. But then they fought and my dad actually attacked gagik and now he has scars all over his back and he was black and blue all over, he even thrown gagik at the wall and cracked it. He yelled at him to get out, when my mom tried to stop them my dad said in Armenian (the language we natively speak) “Shut up or I will kick you out too!” But my mom did not call the police because if she knew my half sisters ( Angelina is 8 and Emily is 6) would cry. Then my parents argued about that. That happened on January 1st 2021. Then he stated taking really bad things about my mom to my little sisters, like what adults should be talking about bad. I recorded 2 minutes one night of the 2 hour long talk of him mocking my uncle and taking rude about my mom and cursing about her to my sisters because I wanted to show my mom. She was so upset about it. Then when he found out about it, he was saying that it was illegal and I would go to juvenile. So my mom works night shift and around the middle of February, after she went to work my dad left for a couple of minutes. My sisters were supposed get ready for bed but then they were arguing so then I fulled Angelina away from Emily on her shoulders, Angelina turned her neck and hurt really bad, so she ran upstairs crying. When my dad got home he was so upset that when I was in the bathroom and finished a shower he talked for more for about 39 minutes of how I was a demon and how I could of killed Angelina and that he had done so much for me and said that he never wanted me as a daughter at all. When I told my mom in the morning they talked about and he said “ Ellen (me) doesn’t need love or support she doesn’t need help! Angelina needs help! Ellen could of taken her life I thought we had to go to the ER!” That is when we left the house because my dad said that he would make me go crazy and make me run away and kill myself or he would kill me. Now that my mom has custody of me and part time with my sisters I do not see my dad. But we were out of the house for 2 months, in those 2 months my dad had my half sisters with him and he changed them emotionally. They are now really rude and but when they are nice they tell me quietly that dad tells lies about me like that I really wanted to kill them and that I was mental and I need a doctor.

    I will soon be having a talk with my dad so we can clear things out but he is just so mean to me! Please help me what should I do?

    Name:Ellen
    Age:11
    Grade:6th
    Gender:Female

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for contacting NRS,
    We appreciate the bravery it takes to reach out. We are sorry to hear that your stepdad is being mean and hurting you. It seems as though he has a lot to do with how your other family sees and treats you. You don't deserve to be mistreated or put down in that manner. A couple of things to keep in mind are that you are an adult at this point so please know that you can leave home at any time if you do not feel welcome or wanted at your current place of residence. If you have no other place to go, here at NRS we can help find you some resources like shelter or Transitional Living Programs. Transitional Living Programs are long-term placements that help teens who are a bit older get back on their feet. They help the youth find a job and a place to stay. It's meant to help you get reestablished in the world. Another option to consider is maybe asking your friends or another family you trust to help house you. Maybe one of them would be glad to help and see how they can help get you to a stable place.

    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 19 And My Stepdad hates me, when he starts on me.. he doesn't say anything nice to and feel like that I've done something wrong when I haven't he also get my family to ignore me or hate me and i don't know what to do I've been thinking about moving out but every time I talk to my mum about it , she tells me No stay and I don't want to stay as he A verbal man and he does threaten a lot and blame me for a lot of stuff like stealing money when i have never stole...

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod8
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to us. Sounds like your home life is real difficult. You are brave to talk about it. It's not ok that your step-dad bullies you. You don't deserve that. It must be hard to pretend things are fine after dealing with him. Our number one priority is to make sure you are safe. It's good to have a plan of where you can go if you ever feel in danger. That could be to a trusted neighbor or friends house, or it could be a room in your house you can lock and get away from him. If you ever feel unsafe, you can also call 911.

    One thing that may be helpful for you is to possibly note when the fighting/yelling is happening or any triggers of the fighting/yelling (some examples would be like after your abuser comes from work or after dinner and/or right when you get home) and to try to find things that can keep yourself away from home during those times study group at a friend’s house, going to a different part of the house until it's safe, setting up a video call with another relative during that time, etc). Again, no one deserves to be treated that way at all. Just know that you always have the right to report any abuse (physical, mental, sexual, or neglect/abandonment) to child protective service in your state or you can talk to us about it. You have rights too.

    As far as your mother goes, there might be some solutions that you and her can come up with together so you can share that you don't feel safe for you or her to be around your step-father. Sometimes those that are in abusive situations come up with “safely plans” in case things do get to the point where they aren’t very safe and need to get away. So coming up with a safety word and a plan of where she can go and be contacted might help put your mind as ease if you chose to leave home. If you are concerned about this and would like to talk to someone about this situation between your step-father and your mother, you can always reach out to the “National Domestic Violence Hotline” (1.800.799.7233). They can help you with answering some questions that you might have or even help you think of that safely plan for your mother.

    Again, we are really glad you reached out. It's not your fault your step-dad is this way. If you want to talk more about these options or about your situation, feel free to reach out to us by chat or phone (1-800-run-away www.1800runaway.org). We are here 24/7, here to listen, here to help.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Its gonna be fine, im a 12 year old boy, and i am constantly bullied by my step-dad. He calls me stupid and always fights with my mom, several times a week me and my sister run up the stairs with tears in my eyes, and then the next day we have to act normal.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello, Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). That sounds like it is difficult situation to be in. You shouldn’t have to go through that. We appreciate you reaching out because we know that isn’t always the easiest thing to do.

    You mentioned that it feels like your mom isn’t understanding where you are coming from. At the National Runaway Safeline, we offer to help facilitate a conversation between a youth and their parent(s). If that is something you are interested in, we encourage you to reach out either via phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) or via text (click the “CHAT” button on the top of our homepage) to start that process.

    If that doesn’t seem like something you would like to pursue but would like to further explore other potential options, we encourage you to reach out as well. We can get a better idea of where you are coming from through chat or via phone, which can help us get to a better plan that works for you. We are available 24/7 and are always happy to help.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My step dad is very rude to me and I dont understand why. He always has rude comments to say about me and my family. He has kicked us out so many times but he is so manipulative that my mom keeps running back to him. She doesnt understand that he caused me depression and she doesnt believe he is the reason why i have it. I feel that im the least favorite child and I dont know what to do anymore.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for contacting NRS,
    It was brave of you to reach out and share what has been going on at home with your stepdad. We are sorry that you are being fat-shamed by a family member. It should never happen as each body is different and unique. From what it sounds like your stepdad has been shaming you and you feel hurt by it. Some options that might be a good idea to explore might be to join a group in school to talk about the things that are happening at home. Maybe even with a counselor at school. Another thing that might be helpful is to call and ask to do a conference call with us and your step-dad. Our conference call option is meant to help both of you communicate and feel heard. We want to make sure that through the conference call you can feel supported every step of the way. To do a conference call with us you can feel free to call us at (800-786-2929).

    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org.

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hi my name is adam and i am 11 years old and my step dad i have known him my whole life, but he fat shames me and my brother when he always eats cookies and stuff like evry night he will eat dinner say he is full and then go eat doritos or something right after dinner. i dont know what to do please give me some advice or something. thank you, Adam

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS
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