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  • I want my grandparents to get custody of me

    My parents treat me horrid, I have been staying at my grandparents house who love me very much and take care of me. My mom says im going to have to go back up there but I do not want too. Her and her bf fight all the time. They get in physical fights, argue, he is a drunk, other things go on in that house! My mother hits me, gets in my face. The neighbors have the cops over at their and my house all the time. All my valuable items go missing. I want to live with my grandparents but my mom says she will tell the court lies about them so i can live there with them. I don't want to go back up their please help me someone. I live in TN and I am 17 years old, how do I make sure i get to live with my grandparents?

  • #2
    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. It sounds like you are wanting to live with your grandparents because your mom hits you and she and her boyfriend fight a lot. It makes sense that you do not want to leave, it is so no okay for your mom to hit you. It also sounds like a pretty scary, toxic environment to live in. Here at NRS, we truly want to help.

    You do have the right to report your mom hitting you and getting in your face, and their physical fights to child protective services (CPS). You so deserve to live in a safe environment where you can thrive. CPS would investigate the abuse and if they found it highly dangerous they would remove you from your home, and typically place you with a family member like your grandparents. To learn more about reporting you might contact the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. We can also help you report if you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    If you are uninterested in reporting, you might include your grandparents in on the conversation with your mom. Maybe they can help advocate for you staying with them. It sounds like they are a tremendous support for you; which is great. If you are unable to get permission to stay with your grandparents, you might call out to your local non-emergency police department to see if they will take a runaway report for a 17 year old. If they will take a runaway report for you, you would typically be returned home if you are found by police.

    Please do not hesitate to reach out if you would like to talk through your situation more.

    Stay safe,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I want to stay with my grand daddy cause my mother hit me kick me and whoop me

      Comment


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,
        It was brave of you to reach out today. It sounds like you would like to live with your granddaddy because of your mother hitting you. First off we want to say that abuse whether its physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, it is never okay and you do not deserve it and do have the right to report it. We want you to know that you do have the right to make a report with Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support.
        Additionally, it could be a good idea to talk to your granddaddy about what you have been experiencing. Talking to other people about issues is good way to think of solutions that were not thought of before. He might even be able to talk to your mother for you, about coming to live with him.
        We hope you think over your options and if you need anything from us please let us know. 1-800-786-2929
        Best wishes,
        NRS

    • #4
      I have lived with my grandma my whole life basically. With my mom "having" custody. My mom was never around, and recently my dad has gotten custody, and I dont like it.. I am a good kid, I make honor roll, and I dont mean to hurt my dads feelings. I have 4 other siblings and we all have to share a room because we dont have our own house. I am so depressed at my dads, and I dont like it.. I have never really seen my dad before that, and its extremely unconfortable being there all-of-the sudden. I have bad anxiety, which also makes it hard to get used too. I really wanna go back to my grandmas and my old school with my old friends, but dont know what to do. I wanna be with my grandma all the time again, and all I get to do is see her on the weekends if im lucky. My sister and I are the only girls of my dads kids, and we feel like we're not treated fairly. When we do the same thing my brothers do we get in more trouble, or dont get as much as an award. Im only 15, and I really dont know what to do.

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that this situation with your dad has disturbed your life to a point where you feel anxious or uncomfortable in your own home. It might be a good idea for you to talk to your grandmother about her thoughts on having you back to stay if there is not room in your dad’s house as it sounds like. Maybe she might be open to it. While we’re not legal experts, if your dad gave you permission to stay with your grandmother, you generally would be allowed to, so it could be a good idea to think about how you could talk to him about how the current situation is not good for you. In terms of legal action with regards to custody, we do have resources in some states for youth legal support and expertise. Unfortunately, we cannot make those referrals on our forum and without knowing where we would be providing referrals for. If talking to a legal expert sounds like something you would be interested in, please contact us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY or on chat at 1800runaway.org and we would be happy to try to provide one. If you do contact us on chat or over the phone, we can also talk about other strategies or options that you may have if you would like to.

    • #5
      My dad and mom treat me like a slave and I want to live with my grandparents

      Comment


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #6
      I was living with my grandparents who took so Much care for me and gave me everything I needed. But I’m stuck with my mom and Tonight (December 03, 201 my mother hit me in the face and pushed me and hit me multiple times because I called the police. I think I fractured my elbow. I called the police because she said she wanted me out of her house and that she can’t stand me anymore. My mother is verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive, she calls me names like brat, ignorant, retarded, little **********, selfish, annoying. She tells me everyday that I did something wrong or that it was my fault for her mistakes, she tells me I ruin her marriages, her friendships, and relationships with family members, she tells me I’m worthless all the time and because of that I’ve gotten back into my depression and I’ve contacted so many ********ing people about it but nobody is there for me. I told my school councilor, the school security, the nurse, her friends, my friends, my family, the police. But the police never help, all they tell me is that because I’m 16 I cannot leave the home because she doesn’t want me to, because I’m a minor, I have no rights til I’m 18. But I can’t handle another year of this.... I don’t know what to do anymore...
      Last edited by ccsmod10; 12-03-2018, 11:14 PM.

      Comment


      • #7
        Reply: I was living with my grandparents ...

        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

        From everything that you have been going through at home with your parent’s it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Well done. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek medical emergency assistance immediately.
        Again you do not deserve to be abused physically, emotionally etc.
        It is not your fault that this is happening. You cannot control hat others choose to do.
        Seeking help is an option available to you. We understand that you have been disappointed by the way the police have responded but they are mandated to report any abuse once they are told that is what’s happening. Teachers and other school administrators are mandated as well to contact child protective services for help.

        To report any abusive treatment there is Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are limited as to how we can help in this type of forum.

        If you would like to talk more in detail please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.

        Be safe,
        NRS

        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #8
          I want to live with my grandparents because my father treats me like dirt and just makes me do things kids shouldn’t do but he won’t let me live with my grandparents and I don’t want my grandparents to have to go to court to fight for custody

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes great courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out for help.

            We are sorry to hear that things are hard at home. You don't deserve to treated like that. If it might be an option for you you could consider talking to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 and they can help provide you more information on what is abuse and how to file an abuse report if that is an option.
            Family counseling can be helpful in many situations.You could contact SAMHSA at 1-877-726-4727 and they can help provide counseling resources. We also offer a conference call service where we could do a 3 way call with you and your dad and help come to a common ground.

            This seems like a hard situation and you are doing great by reaching out for help. If you would like to talk please call us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) and we would be happy to listen to you, explore your situation and provide any resources.

            We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.

            Best,
            NRS

        • #9
          Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It takes great courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out for help.

          We are sorry to hear that things are hard at home. You don't deserve to treated like that. If it might be an option for you you could consider talking to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 and they can help provide you more information on what is abuse and how to file an abuse report if that is an option.
          Family counseling can be helpful in many situations.You could contact SAMHSA at 1-877-726-4727 and they can help provide counseling resources. We also offer a conference call service where we could do a 3 way call with you and your dad and help come to a common ground.

          This seems like a hard situation and you are doing great by reaching out for help. If you would like to talk please call us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) and we would be happy to listen to you, explore your situation and provide any resources.

          We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.

          Best,
          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • #10
            Ok so my mom treats me like ******** my dad beats & yells at me for often no reason. My grandparents are the only people I enjoy being around. When I’m around them I’m a lot happier. My sister gets all the special treat meant. If she messes up there always a next time if I mess up I get screened at I get kicked & punched. I honestly can’t take it anymore. I’m also barely 13. How do I handle this

            Comment


            • ccsmod16
              ccsmod16 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there,

              We're sorry you are going through such a rough time at home right now. No one deserves to be abused like that. We never tell anyone what to do, but if you'd like to file an abuse report with the police or your state's child protective services hotline, you have that right. Or you can file a report through us. The choice is totally yours.

              It's great that you at least have your grandparents as supports in your life. One option you might have would be to ask permission to live with your grandparents. Maybe you can even ask your grandparents if they can help with that request. At the very least, opening up to a trusted adult about what's going on may be helpful to you. With that said, we would love to talk with you to help you explore more of what your options are. We are totally non-judgmental, confidential, and we never tell anyone what to do. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and we are here 24/7. You can also reach out to us via chat by visiting the chatroom at the top of our webpage: www.1800runaway.org.

              Stay safe,
              NRS

          • #11
            I want to move out and live with my grandparents but I’m only 14 (turning 15 in a few months). Everyday when I wake up, or come home from school, I always get anxious coming home because of my dad. I have to wait to see if he is in a good enough mood for me to even talk to him. He is verbally, and mentally abusive towards me. My mom sees him talk to me like I’m his age always cussing at me and telling me to ******** off.
            But yet, nothing is being done about this. When small things were done or even nothing at all, I get attacked. Even if I did do something wrong, I don’t deserve to be threatened about getting the ******** beaten out of me or being punched through the wall. This has been happening for almost my entire life. When I was around 9, he tried suffocating me and I told some people at a church and they called CPS. Even though that’s not the worse thing that he has done to me, i thought I would just drop something that has happened so I don’t have to go into detail and be reminded about scary situations I’ve been in. There has been multiple similar incidents and i could go on forever and elaborate about everything that goes on here with him. Life over at my grandparents is much different. They treat me like I’m an actual human being, I feel loved and safe over there. I don’t have to worry about coming home. I know I’m only 14, but is there anything I can do to live with my grandparents and have a better life? I live in Texas.

            Comment


            • ccsmod3
              ccsmod3 commented
              Editing a comment
              Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are in a tough situation. You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your dad’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your dad. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

              Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).Be safe.

          • #12
            I am almost 17 and I live in Arkansas. I want my grandparents to get custody of me because my moms mentally abusive, over bearing, and a control freak. She doesnt have enough money to hardly support me and my grandparents could easily do that. But my mom wont just hand over custody rights. Tonight she told me if I really wanted to leave then to go do it. But idk if I'd be counted as a runaway or not. Me and my mom argue and have screaming fights non stop every time we have a conversation and it's not a good place for me. Sometimes she hits me really hard. It is in my best interest to live with my grandparents since my dad has a drinking problem. I have had depression for as long as I can remember and my meds barely help. But in Florida, I was perfectly fine without them. Can I petition the court for my grandparents to have custody of me?

            Comment


            • ccsmod13
              ccsmod13 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there, 

              Thank you for taking the time to write us here at NRS. Home is supposed to be somewhere you feel supported and at ease. It can certainly by overwhelming to live with a parent who is emotionally abusive and is not able to adequately care for you. It is really thoughtful and responsible of you to acknowledge that living with your grandparents will be a much more supportive environment for your mental health and overall well-being. 

              If you decide to leave home without your mother's permission then she does have the right to report you as a runaway. This is not a crime, but running away is a status offense. This means that your mom can get police involved to return you home. However, if she does not report you as a runaway then police would not intervene in the event you choose to live with your grandparents. In some areas, police do not pursue runaway reports for someone so close to 18 and do not force the young person back home. You can call your local police department to anonymously ask about their runaway protocol. She can also give you permission to leave without having to sign over her guardianship rights permanently. She can give your grandparents temporary guardianship so that they can do things such as enroll you in school and take you to the doctor. 

              Generally speaking, your mom is your legal guardian until you turn 18. Your grandparents could petition the court for custody since it sounds like they are much more willing and able to give you a healthy and safe living environment. However, this can be a difficult and lengthy process to pursue. You mentioned a few things that describe living with your mom as being abusive and not safe. You do have the right to make a report to child protective services. There is a possibility CPS would remove you from your mother's custody and allow you to live with your grandparents if they decide that living with your mom is putting you in danger. You can contact an organization called Child Help which advocates for young people in abusive situations. A Child Help counselor can walk you through your options for transferring custody and help you with the reporting process if you choose to make one. 

              We truly want to be a support for you as a you navigate this challenging situation and take your next steps. You can call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org if you want to talk more in-detail about your situation and your options. 

              We wish you the best, 
              ​​​​​​​NRS

          • #13
            I wanna go live with my grandma and grandpa. My dad tells me I am worthless and my mom does nothing about it they don’t love me . I wanna kill myself

            Comment


            • ccsmod6
              ccsmod6 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there,
              Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at NRS. We’re really sorry to hear that you’re going through a tough time—you don’t deserve to be treated that way and you should feel loved and supported at home. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for more help and we are glad that you reached out to us.
              While we’re not legal experts, it is our understanding that your grandparents could petition the court for custody, if they’re willing to assume guardianship over you. Your mom and dad are generally your legal guardians until you turn 18. The process of petitioning can be somewhat difficult and is often a lengthy process. One option to potentially consider is whether your parents would give you permission to live with your grandparents without terminating their custody. Your parents could grant your grandparents temporary guardianship so that they can do things such as enroll you in school and take you to the doctor, until you turn 18. If you chat or call us, we can look into legal resources in your area that would be able to provide additional information on what this process might look like. Here at NRS, we can help open up a dialogue between you and your parents through our free conference line service.
              We are very sorry to hear that your parents have been treating you this way. You don’t deserve to be told you are worthless, and deserve respect because your life is important and you matter. If you are ever feeling unsafe or thinking about ending your life, we encourage you to reach out to emergency services by phone or in person. You may also reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org to access additional support.
              We want to commend you for sharing with us and reaching out for help. We’re here to listen and help as you navigate this challenging situation. We’re available 24/7 to discuss your options and next steps through our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.
              All our best,
              NRS.
              Last edited by ccsmod6; 01-20-2020, 10:24 PM.
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