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Can my step-dad hit me?

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  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

    Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I rather remain anonymous but I will say that earlier today, my family were preparing the house as a few friends were visiting us and I was just walking into my room minding my own business and in my defense, the music was on too loud and as my stepdad instruct me to give my little brother some water. I couldn't hear him and I thought I was hearing things because there were times where I thought I heard his voice only to be not true and it's just me mishearing something. At that point of time, I've caught on with that situation and I walked to my room like normal. But then 2 or 5 minutes later, my stepdad walked in angry and cursed at me to get some water. I said I'm sorry it sounded like you were mumbling and at first he started to swear more saying he wasn't and thought I was talking back. I then spoke softly just to show how it sound like when I couldn't hear him. He then smacked me across my cheek whilst spilling his corona beer in the process. I grew very angry and I stormed to my mom's room, telling her about what happened and as she normally would everytime my stepdad does something wrong, he defends him saying I'm in the wrong by saying I was talking back and I honestly can't believe my own mother is defending this verbally abusive brute. I would've fought him back and maybe knock his dentures out but of course, if I ever did that I could end up in prison as they say they would. Ever since he slapped me, I promised myself that when I go to my dad's, I will never go back until either my mom or stepdad split up or they clean their act up together. The worst part about all of this is that this bully of a parental figure graduated anger management class and you'd think he'd start using what he learned from there. But sadly, this isn't the case. He's learned nothing from that class. I know so. He gave me two anger management books because I myself have anger issues too. And at of all the times he's flared on me or anybody else in the house, a big majority of what books explain best describes my stepdad's behavior. And after that day he slapped me and bullied up on me, I am fully convinced that he's learned nothing from that class. I swore myself that if he does something like that again, I will report him. But I'm still debating myself whether I should do it. As an teen that's about to be 18, I fear it will cause more drama at my house and towards my family. I fear it will get my mom or somebody in my family or my stepdad's family to do something crazy which could harm me or someone else. At least that's what I fear in my head. Respond to me whenever you can. I just needed to do some venting and I wanted to get this out of my system. Hopefully get some advice and support.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

    Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    a couple of weeks ago my step-dad got mad at me because i din't like the soup he made. while i was in the middle of trying to eat it he picked it up dumped it in the trash and told me i wasn't allowed to eat anything unless it was the soup. after 2 days i found some starbursts from Easter
    and was eating those the 3rd day he said i can eat whatever i wanted for that moment so i did, i felt a lot better but still really weak after eating nothing except a couple starbursts every now and then. but the day i wouldn't want to eat the soup (the day all this started) i got mad because he wouldn't let me eat the soup after i tried so hard he picked my up by wrists and through me onto my bed where my metal water bottle was and i hit my head of of it i told my mom and she said," well don't be disrespectful" my arms and wrists had grip marks on them that stung. i also got mad at my mom and she was trying to hurt me so i kicked her away and she smacked me really the in the leg it hurt very bad i could hardly walk, i have been discipline before one time my mom "hit me across the mouth" when she really hit me across my nose and made my nose hurt and bleed a lot. my uncle once kicked my door in (while my friend was there) and came in later with a knife and made me hold a door that was way past my size (i was only like 4 foot) and the door weighed more than me. and fixed it me and my friend were traumatized. i did forgive him because he wasn't in the best state of mind at that time. but i am concerned about my step-dad hurting me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    replied
    Hello there,

    Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are concerned about whether or not your stepdad hitting you in the face is legal. Please note that while we are not legal experts, if you have been physically abused - including being hit in the face, that is not okay. You deserve to feel safe and supported at home. We would be happy to talk to you further about your situation through our Live Chat: https://na0messaging.icarol.com/Cons...d=254&cc=en-US. There is also Child Help which specializes in talking to young people about abuse. Feel free to check them out here: https://www.childhelp.org/. We hope this helps.

    Best,

    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Is it legal for your stepdad to hit you in the face

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
    You do not deserve to be abused by your father. It’s not your fault that he is abusive but it seems like it is continuing to get worse and worse.
    It is important that you remember to exercise self- care.

    We understand your fear and frustration with the situation. However it does sound like you might want to consider leaving and going somewhere safe. Perhaps there is another family member you can stay with. If not we would be happy to try and help you find an emergency shelter in your area.

    We would like to be of assistance to you any way that we can.
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 18 and I have autism my step dad has a history of abuse against me dating back to age 13 on first occasion at 13 I had my face rubbed on carpet And had police and social services investigate but I got extremely paranoid as I was fed information to led me to believe my and my sisters will be taken away and put in care at 13 I was just petrified therefore I said to child services he pushed me and I fell and scraped my face, however that wasn’t the case he held my head and dragged it up the carpet. He was interviewed for this one

    Just over 2 months ago I was seriously assaulted by him I was punched in the face over 10 times and was left with bruises in my head and a migraine. I have never hit him first. I’m never the type of person to do that ever. The police was called and informed by my dad. The police spoke with me about 6 of them and told I could write a statement and he will be arrested that day. Me being me I got shook and didn’t want any stress at all I have so much to deal with in my life at the moment. I didn’t write a statement therefore he wasn’t arrested.

    just today I was put inside a headlock and punched on my head. I also got kicked today which I got so angry I screamed at him and told him if he need me again this was after 5 need already I will make sure I will hurt you. I’m not a righty individual at all but I need to consider my life first.He is so angry and his temper is extreme he comes close and screams Close to my face. It’s very had to deal with having autism because no one else seems to understand me. I definitely have enough evidence to get him arrested, however I don’t know if I can do it I’m struggling and I don’t understand how I feel and I every time I think of Do something about it, my mind goes blank I don’t know what to do.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 05-29-2020, 12:27 AM.

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. You deserve to feel loved, secure, and most of all safe at home and it's worrisome to hear that this is currently not the case.

    Your stepfather's actions are completely out of line and it is unacceptable for him to be acting this way. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. You may also want to take pictures or videos or any injuries (cuts, bruises, etc.) that may have occurred due to the abuse as it may be useful in a CPS investigation.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 12 years old about to be 13 and I have a stepfather that I've always hated for 8 years and he got married to my mother about a year ago and recently he started punching me. A couple of days ago he told me to do something and I accidentally did it wrong and he gave me a good punch on my head after that I got a little frustrated and said calmly, "You didn't need to do that" and right after I said that he gave me a really hard punch in my face and said, " Stop F***ing giving me attitude!!" but I got extremely frustrated and again I said, "You didn't need to do that". He replies "keep on" (Which means he's gonna give me a bad beating If I don't stop giving "Attitude"). But the thing is that my mom is never there when he hits me with a belt or punches me and I really want to punch him sometimes but I get really scared if I go to somewhere bad If I punch my stepdad. What can I do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    replied
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your step-dad. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website
    www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I have a similiar issue. My step dad isn't from my country and he migrated to my country to "make me happy". I respected him for a while and looked up to him as a role model. In January 2019 he started to mistreat me. For example: He would tell me I am lazy and that I would never be good in life. One day when I came home from school he told me to take out the garbage and wash the dishes that he used. I told him I wouldn't wash the dishes he used because he told me to always wash my dishes before I go to school. He loss his job in January 2019 so I thought he was taking off his frustration on me. When I told him that he said "Oh you are an adult now?!" He told me to take out the trash and I stormed out and kicked over the garbage bin outside and he saw. By the way my little cousin was staying with us and he saw everything that happened. Anyways after I came unto the verandah he said "Go to your room and get ready for some lashes." I stormed into my room and shook my head. He said to me "Boy, don't you dare disrespect me!" He then proceeded to tell me to give him my hand so he could hit me. I told him that he had no authority to do so and he then dropped the belt and then grabbed me by my shoulder and chhucked me to the floor where I hit my back. He then lifted me up and threw me against my bed and started hitting me. I did something wrong next. I had a knife in my room and I grabbed it. He saw that I had it and tried to snatch it. While doing so he cut himself then threw the knife under my bed. He then left to dress the cut and then after which told my mom that I stabbed him with the knife. My mother called me to ask if that was true where she then saw marks on my skin due to the fact that I am light skin. She questioned him about it where he lied. I was super surprised. Is that fair? I hate him now.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    It was very brave of you to take the time to reach out to us and to share a bit about your situation. You are definitely right that it's not okay or normal for your parents or their partners to discipline you with physical violence. You do not deserve to be treated like this or to feel unsafe. You do deserve to be treated with respect and to feel supported.

    We do encourage you to take whatever steps necessary to regain your safety. A helpful start may be to reach out to different people you trust to start building a support system. This could be family members, friends, adults at school, or a counselor. You do have the option to report this to child protective services. Their goal is to help you and keep you safe. If you are not quite ready to talk with someone in person yet, you can speak to an advocate at Child Help, childhelp.org. You can learn more about the reporting process and what it might look like for you.

    We would like to talk more in depth about your situation so that we can better help you explore your options. Our email and bulletin services are different in that we can only respond twice, so the best way for us to support you during this difficult situation is by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through our live chat services at 1800runaway.org. We are here 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible.

    We look forward to hearing from you soon,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    so hey! so last night i ran away and my stepdad was mad at me. so today i came home, he started to yell at me really loud by my ears and he started to slap and hitting me on my arm and it left a mark. i mean my mom gave him an authority to "discipline" me but its not okay for me. and after, he start whooping me with a belt and it left a mark on my thighs and he stay yelling at me because he was really upset of me running away. and my mom said that he got upset because he loves me. but my biological father never put hands on me like that. so right now i need help because i dont know if its right for him to do that.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you so much reaching out to us. We are incredibly sorry to hear your stepdad is abusing you so horribly. You absolutely do not deserve what you are going through and you -- and your little brother -- have the right to be safe and cared for.

    One option you have is to file an abuse report on what's going on at home. We know sometimes that is a hard choice to make, but you do have that right. If an abuse report is made it would likely lead to a child protective services investigation. They would likely interview you and your stepdad and determine what the best course of action is. Sometimes that simply involves talking things through and checking up later to see if things are improving. If things are deemed detrimental to your well being, you could be removed from the home. If you want to file an abuse report you can do that through your state's child abuse reporting hotline or through Child Help (www.childhelp.org) at 1-800-422-4453. You can also file through us here at National Runaway Safeline. But again, whether you decide to file or not is up to you. We honor whatever decision you make and support you either way.

    It is probably a good idea to seek out supportive people as much as possible. Your feelings have value and you have the right to be seen and heard. If there is someone in your life that you feel comfortable with and trust, by all means take advantage of talking with them. Perhaps that's a relative, teacher, counselor, religious leader, or anyone you feel safe with. Of course, we are here for you whenever you want to talk. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. We are a confidential, safe place to talk about whatever you are going through. We can help you figure out what your best options are and can connect you to resources in our database: shelters, counselors, legal aid, and more. Of course, even if you just need to vent, we are here to listen.

    We are pretty concerned when you talk about killing yourself. That's pretty serious. If you ever feel suicidal, please reach out for the help you deserve. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is staffed by people trained to talk about suicide, so they are a great resource. You can reach them at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call 1-800-273-8255. You can also reach out to us anytime to talk about suicide or anything else on your mind. We are confidential and open 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chat at www.1800runaway.org. We want you to be safe. Things can get better and you have many options besides suicide.

    Again, we are so sorry to hear you are going through this. The abuse you are describing sounds rather extreme and it makes sense that you would have very strong feelings about this. We really do hope you can reach out for further help -- with us or with anyone else that you trust. When you call we can talk about how you can try to stay safe going forward and what your other options might be. We hope to hear from you soon.

    Stay safe,
    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 05-01-2020, 03:45 PM.
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