Can my step-dad hit me?

[Guest]

thank you very much

[ccsmod15]

Hey there!
No problem at all! We are happy to help in any way we can. If you would like to talk with us again you can always call us at 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via our live chat at www.1800RUNAWAY.org.
We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

My step dad me with a knife in my back a minute ago I need help

[ccsmod16]

Hi, Thank you for reaching out; we are glad that you did. This sounds very scary having your step dad hit you with a knife.
For immediate help, please call 911. To talk with us in real-time, please either call 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via this website.
If you feel like you are in danger, consider going to a neighbor or friend to reach out for help. You don't deserve to be treated like this, at all.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

I grew up living with a stepfather that would beat me and my mother whenever things didn’t go his way. I remember him beating my mom to a point where he broke her nose. I remember him pushing her against a glass cabinet with a table. I remember him beating me with a belt on my leg because he thought I spoke back to my mom. I remember him pulling my older sisters hair and throwing her against the wall. I remember when he ran over my moms foot with his keep. I remember when he burnt me with cigarette fumes on my arm. I remember when he called me a ********** almost every time he was angry. I remember him slapping me in the face because he was mad a man cut him in line at Walmart. I remember him talking about my sisters weight, calling her a fat pig. Calling her disgusting. I remember him punching me at a mall infront of people. I remember him slapping me on my face twice. I remember him dragging my older sister across a garage and punching her. I remember him grabbing her by the throat. I remember my mother lied to me that he broke her arm. I remember he pushed my mother down the stairs when she was pregnant. He called me useless, he told me I would never find love because I was so miserable and my attitude was horrible. He plays victim. He talks so bad about my mother and sisters. He degrades us. He beat my mother so many times. He’s even thrown knives at her. He punched my mom in the face at a baseball game. He’s done so much more. But after all of this we took him back into our lives. And my mom has loved him. And she might take him back again.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out. Your stepfather's behavior was completely unacceptable and you, your mom and your sister do not deserve to be treated like that by anyone. If you are currently at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is currently happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/.

It can be really hard to process trauma from physical abuse like that and it may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional. An agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no-cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-800-662-4357 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov. Getting out of a violent relationship can present many difficulties and if your mom needs help or wants to learn more about the cycle of domestic violence she may want to reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800-799-7233 or by going to https://www.thehotline.org/.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

After I got home from fishing with my friend he broke my mom's fishing pole that he was borrowing. I knew that I was going to be in big trouble and when I got home my mom didn't seem to care. My step-dad did. Also, the price from my school sent a letter from my school saying that I called a kid a fagget. I told asked my mom when it happened and my stepdad said: It doesn't matter you still did it. And I said I know. Ans my friend was right beside us the whole time and he said to not argue with my parents and that I will probably get in trouble if I do. So I said: It doesn't matter I always get yelled at and punished for everything I do. And my stepdad got up and put his hand around my neck and pushed me against the garage. And he said if you want to talk like that again then next time I will knock you out and bash your head against the garage. My friend just stood there and his eyes started to get watery while I was pinned up against the garage. Then I clenched my fist up beside me and he said oh you want to fight I will knock you out right here right now. Then my mom just told me to just go downstairs and on my way down there my stepdad said that I was grounded in my room without anything to do or watch t.v or play video games. And that's what happened today.

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thanks for contacting us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing your situation. It sounds like you have been really struggling at home with your relationships with your mom and step dad. It seems you have been trying to take accountability for your mistakes, but your step dad is still lashing out at you. It can definitely be stressful when the adults in our lives are not willing to talk with us and have a conversation about recent events that have been difficult. There is never any justification for someone to physically harm you, especially a parent's partner. No matter what mistakes you might be making, you deserve to feel safe and supported.

Often having a safe space to express how you have been feeling can help you decompress and bring up ideas not thought of previously. Maybe there is another family member, family friend, or counselor at school that you can go to for support. If you are not ready to talk to someone in your life about what you have been experiencing, you can always reach out to NRS. We are available for immediate support by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) or through live chat at 1800runaway.org. You are not alone in this and we are here to listen and help as much as possible.

Stay strong,
NRS

[ccsmod3]

Hey there. Thanks for contacting us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like things really took a turn between you and your stepdad, and we're sorry to hear that. Based on what you've described, it might be a good idea to reach out to Child Protective Services and file an abuse report. Their job is to ensure that you're safe in your home, and if you're not, to decide what steps should be taken in order to make sure that you are. If this is something that you're interested in doing, you can file a report on your own, by contacting us here at NRS for support, or by telling a safe person of the abuse (like a teacher, school counselor, therapist, etc.). Each person that I've listed is considered a Mandated Reporter and has a legal obligation to contact CPS when there are any suspicions or indications of abuse. We understand that moving forward in this process can be scary, but want you to know that your safety is critical. These are folks who will prioritize that. If you have any questions about filing a report, what it entails, or would like to learn more about child abuse in general, Childhelp is another great resource to utilize. They're a child abuse hotline and you can reach out to them by texting or calling 1-800-422-4453, or by chatting with them live at www.childhelp.org.

If you'd like to chat in more detail about your situation or have some support in filing an abuse report, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY, or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

Take care.

NRS

[Guest]

my stepdad took my laptop because i left a glass of water on it and he would not give it back to me can he do that i mean i am a 40 year old woman

[ccsmod15]

Hey there thanks for reaching out to NRS,
It seems like you’re going through a really frustrating situation right now and feeling belittled by your step dad after he took away your laptop when you left water on it. It is understandable to feel upset when they act like that.
Without knowing more about the exact situation it seems unlikely that he has authority to take away your access to your laptop as it could effectively be stealing. That is unless they have a court order granting them extended guardianship over you which would complicate things.
It might be worth reaching out to local police no emergency line, or legal aid resources if the situation doesn’t seem likely to be resolved through a reasonable discussion between adults.

[Guest]

Can my stepdad hit me if my biological mother gives him consent?

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to child protective services. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

my stepdad does the same, he's thrown me down the stairs before and covered my mouth until I couldn't breathe bc I told him he was lying. ( I may or may not have thrown a grilled cheese near his head) but either way, my mother told me I was provoking him. She gets angry whenever I bring it up, but honestly, I am still really traumatized by it, even though it was 4 years ago. recently, He threw a work boot at my face and caused a bruise, when I told my mother and showed her, he told her I was lying. I've called the police before, but they somehow managed to convince them that I was being aggressive, or that I was the one who hurt one of them. Once I had told my mom what had happened, she told me she would call the police, knowing I would not be able to convince them that it had in fact happened. I am 16 now and only have 2 years before I can move out. The most heartbreaking thing though, is that my mother was never like this until she met him, I miss the old her.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.

Take care,

NRS

[Guest]

i am 40 years old my stepdad and i can't get along he slapped me in the face because i yelled at him and he took my laptop away because i had a glass of water on it i since got me a new laptop when he slapped me i called the cops on him they arrested him for that did i do the right thing

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

We are sorry to hear that your stepdad has been mistreating you. We don't make value judgements as to whether you did the right thing or not, though it's appropriate to stick up for oneself and try to remain safe. It sounds like the police took the matter seriously. If something like this happens again you may want to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (www.thehotline.org). Or you could always dial 911 if you are in immediate danger.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

I am trying to figure out how to help my younger sister. She is 16. She is currently living with our father and step mother. Recently my sister told me about years of physical abuse from stepmom, like slapping, pulling hair, threatening to beat up, or throwing dishes at her. There has also been times the stepmother has been completely nude around my sister. All of these things have happened when my sister was between the ages of 9-16. If these things happened years ago, can my sister still report these? I’m worried for her safety because she recently told me that she cannot stay in contact with me which is alarming cause we are really close. I would try to fill out a cps report but I do not have any recent evidence/altercations to put on the report.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

We're very sorry to hear your sister has been mistreated and still seems to be in a currently unsafe situation. What you are describing definitely could count as abuse. That must have been very shocking for you to hear.

To answer your question directly: While we are not legal experts from what we know you or your sister can at least file an abuse report about what's happened in the past in addition to anything that may currently be going on. A report usually leads to an investigation by CPS and they will then determine what they feel the best course of action is. If a report is made it would be a good idea to be as detailed as possible about everything that has happened. While it helps to have direct evidence in an abuse report, it is not necessary.

If you or your sister would like to report abuse you can do that through us, through the state's child abuse reporting hotline, or through www.childhelp.org (1-800-422-4453).

Whatever you decide we encourage you to share our contact information with your sister and mention that we are a confidential hotline. Our phone number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have a confidential chat room that can be found on our website: www.1800runaway.org.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

My stepfather verablie abuses me everyday and today on august 3rd he smashed my phone cuz i was trying to do dishes like my mom asked then got mad because i barley hit his chest so he grabbed me and pushed me down but because i went to hit him when he grabbed me he says I'm in the wrong. am I in the wrong? also if i was to run away in Michigan where could I go?

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds were a tense at home with your stepfather and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best. If you need help finding shelters in the area, we can try and help find some resources for you as well.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

about a week or two ago my step dad caught me smoking (im 16) and then when he asked me about it of course i lied and then he went crazy (he was drunk because hes a raging alcoholic) and he punched me. He only went that far because my mom was in hawaii with my sister because she moved there and the next day i ran away and stayed the night at my friends house and told my mom and sister and then they onlt thought i ran away because i was mad i got my phone and everything taken but i was actually scared for my life and did not know what to do after my mom got back we didnt even adress the situation and im still grounded and they are acting like he did not even do that and he still gets mad and yells in my face everyday and i want to run away again and i need help on what to do.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

My step dad threatens to hit me when no one is around. I only feel safe when my mum is at home. The other day he was shouting at me for not doing my jobs, so I told him to f*** off, he chased me up the stairs, and punched my back 4 times and ripped my t-shirt. I don't trust him anymore. Sometimes he doesn't feed me when my mum is at work or he'll feed me little amount of food. I don't like him he treats me like a slave/prisoner pretty much restricting everything I do. Pls help

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out; it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. First off, we want to say that you do not deserve to be treated this way by your step dad. No one deserves to be punched or have their food restricted like this, that is not right.

If you ever feel you are in immediate danger, we encourage you to call 911 as your safety is important. You have the right to report any abuse that you are experiencing at home. If you would like to learn more about abuse reporting, you can find information through ChildHelp (www.childhelp.org) to explore if this may be an option of interest to you. They also have a hotline available at 1-800-422-4453 if you would like to talk to someone. We at NRS are also always here to talk to you about the process or to help you in making an abuse report if that is something you would like.

We want you to know that we are here for you during this difficult time and that you are not alone. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us via chat at www.1800runaway.org or by calling us at 1-800 RUNAWAY (786-2929).

We wish you all the best,
NRS

[Guest]

Today I went out with a friend and I asked my mom 2 days before if that was okay and she said it was. I cleaned the whole house and left and when I came back I stayed outside because I forgot my keys. Then my stepdad came with my siblings and I got in my house and went to go wash my hands in the kitchen he then starts to yell at me and asks why I haven’t responded his calls and I told him I don’t have to because my mom said to not listen to him or respond his calls if I don’t want to because my stepdad is nothing to me and I only listen to my mom. After I tell my stepdad that I won’t answer his calls he then pushes me to the door and grabs my arms and yells at me and then I get away from him and tells me to go back outside and come back inside when my mom comes back from work but I don’t listen to him and got to my room and he then pushes me to the ground and hits me and then he leaves and I told my mom what happened and she told me to call the police if this happens again but I’m not sure if I should because I’m scared my siblings and I are going to get taken away from my mom. This is not the first time this has happened and he also hits my siblings which are his biological children he also threatens me about the wifi, my phone, tv and more.

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed, as well as your siblings. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately, if you feel unsure about doing it yourself you can call us and we will make the call for you. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi my freind is being abused and there sted dad and real mom hit her and she and he makes bruises on here and they make threats to here and when she tells anyone at school they say that shes faking anxeity and self harm when shes not and they get angry for the dumbest reasons they do hit all the time and they been doing it since she was 5 or 6 now shes 11 in high school and they done it this night for accdently spilling a drink they repeditly hit her and laughed at her they only stop when i call her i try to call for as long i can

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We are sorry your friend is being abused. She certainly doesn't deserve that. One thing she may want to consider is filing an abuse report with her state's Child Protective Services. She can also file an abuse report through www.childhelp.org (1-800-422-4453).

We'd like to help your friend out further. The best way we can do that would be for you or your friend to call our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org. When you or her call or chat we can discuss what options she has and what resources may be available to help.

We hope to hear from you soon,
NRS

[Guest]

So I turn 18 in a few months and I am eligible for emancipation. My step-dad threatens to hit me and yells at me on a daily basis. I don't wanna be anywhere near him and I'm scared to go home what should I do? I'm afraid if I stand up for myself he WILL hit me. I don't wanna run away because of my mom but I don't feel safe at home. I can't even open my mouth around him without him yelling at me. Please help

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out. It shows a lot of courage to reach out and ask for help. No one should ever make you feel unsafe. It understandable that you do not want to be around someone who is causing you harm and you should not have to be. One option that you could purse is reporting your stepdad for abuse. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is 24/7 and can be reached at (800) 422-4453. If you feel unsafe you can text the word "safe" to 69866 and provide your location after that you will be provide with nearest safe place in your area. It is important to remember that you are not alone and that we are here to support you and listen. Please remember we are 24/7 and you can reach us directly by calling our 24-hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.
NRS