Can my step-dad hit me?

[Guest]

My stepdad is so mean because today when he was not hungry home I made pasta and cereal and I forgot to put the box away so when he got home he called me downstairs and the was yelling at me mad screaming at me for a small mistakenly nobody’s perfect and sometimes people forget so then he started to hit me on the head and when I cried he would stick up his fist at me and say you want to cry huh. And I have a step sister so every time she makes a bigger mistake than me he won’t even say anything to her because she is more “responsible?” But once all I did was I was on my phone at 9:03 because spur bedtime is nine and I was only up to set my alarm she took away my phone and went though my personal info and deleted my photos and apps now he won’t let me get apps and I f I try it blocks me

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,

We are sorry to hear you're having a rough time with your dad at home. You don't deserve to be hit or screamed at or treated unfairly. If you are being abused you can always file an abuse report through us, through your state's child abuse reporting hotline, or through www.childhelp.org (1-800-422-4453).

We would like to help but need a bit more information from you to see how we can do that. The best way for us to assist would be for you to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via the chat feature on our website (www.1800runaway.org). Our lines and chatroom are open 24/7 and we have a large database of resources that we can connect you with, things like counseling, legal aid, and so on. Or if you just want to talk about what's going on, we are here for that too. Sometimes being able to just express how you are feeling can help.

Please stay safe. We hope to hear from you soon!

NRS

[Guest]

My stepdad keeps getting mad at me because I forget to put the remote for the tv back into the container,and i don't mean to but whenever we argue i always glare at him. once he actually hit me with his belt. him and my mom get mad at my little brother for crying,and slap him in the mouth whenever he makes any extra noise (crying,calling their name,humming etc) He said that it takes a lot of restraint for him to not ''slap me so hard i fly across the room'' and i'm kind of scared of him,this time the remote wasn't even lost,it was next to the holder. My mom knows about all this,and after the conversation she told me to say sorry. I have adhd and I try to explain why i often forget things to my parents an why i shout at them (doctors also think i have Asperger as well) by accident and they always tell me im using it as an excuse. whenever they think i do things that i didnt do they don't believe me when i explain ''I didn't know we had ice cream in the fridge so how did I eat them all'' they dismiss my explanation and blame me anyways.
whenever i try to talk to my mom about things she always belittles me and tells me how her childhood was worse (it was pretty bad.) And when we get into arguments I cry and usually dig my nails into my arm to try and stop (I've been leaving scars recently) She always thinks im crying to get at her. and always tells me ''crying isnt going to solve anything'' and that she ''isnt going to pity me''
I also feel like a burden because i cause them financial problems and im probably just being a bad kid. I have everything a kid could want. I should shut up. im probably just looking for attention.
Im probably just over exaggerating because im dumb.
I know this isnt going to help yet im doing it anyways. I dont know why. I dont even know you people. Im going to get in trouble for this aren't i.
screw it nothing can get worse.
Not like i have anyone i can move in with.
my dad only sees me and my step brothers as free work. with a slight bit of attachment. whatever.

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
Thank you for reaching out to the NRS, it seems like you are going through a lot right now at home and catching blame for things you can’t control and its starting to get to you. Your stepdad might be frustrated by some of the issues that come with ADHD and possible Asbergers but that never excuses him hitting you or threatening you with physical violence like that. You don’t deserve to be blamed for things outside of your control, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for getting the help you need to deal with your mental health challenges. It is understandable to feel upset when they dismiss you and belittle you at every turn and don’t listen to your explanations. Crying is a natural outlet for emotions and it sounds tough that you feel like you can’t release those emotions when they are causing you so much distress. We encourage you to find some other ways that won’t cause you physical distress to deal with the emotional distress you are going through. We are certainly happy to talk more with you about your difficult situation and brainstorm some steps you might be able to take. Last thing is that just because you have basics like food and shelter, doesn’t excuse your parent’s behavior and your feelings of frustration and fear of them are valid feelings to have. You don’t need to apologize or rationalize the feelings you are having they are what tell you that the situation isn’t OK for you and that changes might be needed.
As for what those changes are we are happy to brainstorm them and be a place for you to vent more about the situation. Sometimes just talking to someone that is on your side and willing to listen can open up new ways of looking at the situation and fresh ideas for how to cope with things.
We look forward to talking with you more at www.1800runaway.org or on the phone at 1-800-786-2929.
Stay Safe
NRS

[Guest]

is it ok for my mom to push me down because she doesnt like what im wearing and i dont want to change

[Guest]

my step dad has a camera monitoring me and I have to sit in front of it every day, I have to ask to do anything: eat, use the bathroom, etc. i fell like running away, what should i do

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving and have started to think about what you would need to do to leave home and have some questions. If you need any additional resources or support related to leaving home, please do not hesitate to call NRS directly at 1-800-786-2929 or visit https://www.1800runaway.org/. We are here 24/7 to take calls and chats.

We are sorry to hear you are having a hard time with your stepfather at home. It is never okay to be harmed by anyone. If you need support discussing what is happening at home or are interested in making an abuse report you can call Child Help 1-800-422-4453. An advocate can work with you and call the reporting line with you and provide support through your challenging time.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

my dad dragged me off the couch hit me slapped me and he slammed me to the ground and threw me off my bed.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
Wow we are so sorry that happened to you, you do not deserve to be treated that way. If you are in serious danger, please call 911. You can also make an abuse report by calling Child Help at 1800-422-4453. If you do not have a phone you can also make a report online at ChildHelp.org.
We are here for you 24/7, if you have more questions or need someone to talk to please call us at 1800 RUNAWAY.
Stay strong,

NRS

[Guest]

please help me im suicidal and my step father is hitting me

[ccsmod2]

Hello again,
We are so sorry to hear about your situation and glad that you reached out for help. We want you to know you are important and you are worth living. If you are feeling suicidal please reach out for help at The National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1800-273-8255.
You can also reach out to us, for a more individualized response please call us or chat with us online.

Stay Strong!
NRS

[Guest]

hey so my stepdad it always threating to hit me and he does sometimes and my mom lets him is that ok/

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at The National Runaway Safeline where we are here to help and here to listen. No one should make you feel unsafe and you do not deserve to be harmed in any way. It shows a lot courage to reach out for help. You can always reach out to us or Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. Child help is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how child protective services could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.. Remember you are not alone and that there is always someone willing to help. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through chat (1800runaway.org) 24/7.

Stay Strong,
NRS

[Guest]

I need help idk if the things my mom and step dad r doing to me are ok

[ccsmod15]

Hi-- Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We know it can be scary to reach out for support. Though you haven’t shared what your mom and step dad are doing, please know you don't deserve to be hurt in any way. No one deserves to be hit or abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, you have the right to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance. You can consider reporting mistreatment to child protective services (CPS). And Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you decide you want assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

If you would like to talk in more detail, please call us at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the CHAT button). We are able to offer emotional support, explore options with you, and offer possible resources in your area. We hope to hear from you soon. Much support, NRS

[Guest]

Yesterday I was looking for something for my mom and she told me to look on the counter so I looked but I told her it wasn’t there so my step dad just kept telling me to look on a counter with nothing on it so when my mom found what she was looking for inside her room I told her that they kept telling me looking on the counter and it was becoming repetitive so he went into the kitchen and started saying how he couldn’t stand me and things like that and I didn’t say anything but once he brought my mom in to it I told him that if he has anything to say he can say it directly to me he then proceeded to walk into the room and start yelling at me and he got in my face screaming that he was grown and our argument got so Intense that I called him a ********** he then proceeded to throw a cup of sprite into my face and after that we started fighting after we fought my mom comforted him and not me she talked to me and told me that I caused what happened and that if it wasn’t for me saying anything I would have never gotten hurt and it’s not the first time something like this has happened he’s hit my mom multiple times but it’s the first time he has hit me

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to child protective services. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Today I was arguing with my step-dad because I wanted to speak out about how everyday or every time I go to speak with him and I speak out which apparently disrespectful in his eyes, he threatens to beat me and a lot of times he'll hit me when I'm in his way or yell at me . This happens on regular occasions but today I was told to sit down and I was trying to get his attention because he was ignoring me because he was yelling at my older sister. He then started yelling at me saying he'd beat me and so I told him that I wasn't afraid of him so then he then hit me about two times before I kicked him because I was sick of it so then he grabbed my leg and pulled me to the floor and bent my arm backwards and continuously hit me while I think my mother was telling him to stop? This has happen before where my arm was bend behind my back and I was slammed into the wall multiple times and I fear for my life so much that I usually climb into a tree. I'm only twelve and I'm not sure what to do at this point.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS through our public forum-it takes a lot of courage to do so and we appreciate your willingness to be open with us during a difficult time. You most definitely do not deserve to be treated this way by your own father, or to fear for your life in your own home. It is not right that every time you would like to communicate your feelings to your father, he is verbally and physically abusive towards you, as well as the rest of your family. Your home should be somewhere where you feel open with your family to talk about your feelings and how you are doing in your life. If you are comfortable to do so , reaching out to the police might be helpful in order to report the abuse, since it seems that your father is past the point of talking with you and reverts to hitting you and making you feel unsafe in your own home. Please do not hesitate to reach out to us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) to discuss further your options during this difficult time Please do not hesitate to reach out to us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) to discuss further your options during this difficult time. We are here to listen and help to the best of our abilities 24/7.

[Guest]

Hi, I live in **** and I'm 15. I absolutely can't stand living with my parents right now. This has been going on for a really long time and I've talked to my school counselor but they only suggested family therapy. They are abusive, I don't have my own room, I feel hopeless because of them, etc. I'm trapped here and I want to get out of this household and live with my friend and their parents who said that they would let me stay with them. I have nowhere else to go and I don't really know how to be an adult so I wouldn't want to run away permanently, but I really need to get out of here for a short amount of time at least, because I feel that I might lose all the hope that I have left at life. What should I do? Is it possible to live with my friend for a few weeks without my parents permission?

[ccsmod3]

Thanks for contacting us at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you did.

It sounds like things have been pretty tough at home, though no matter how tough things are, you don't deserve to be abused. If this is something that you're concerned with, a good starting point for you might be to make an abuse report through your local Child Protective Services (CPS) agency. You can find their information through a quick Google search using "CPS agency in ____ area." If you're still in touch with your school counselor, this is also something they can help you with. You'll have to disclose the abuse that's going on at home to them, but they can assist you with making that report as well. If that isn't an option for you, you're also welcome to call us here at NRS and we can walk through that process with you.

If you're looking to leave home, even temporarily, it's great that you've started to think about a plan and have options available to you. While you can stay with a friend for a few weeks without your parent's permission, it is possible that there could be legal repercussions for your friend's family in doing so. These vary by state, but are generally based on the harboring of a runaway. If you want more specific information on this in your state, you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. The best way to go about leaving home and staying with someone else without legal repurcussions would be to have your parent's permission to do so. While we know this isn't an option for many, it's important that you're aware of all options available to you, as well as the potential ramifications of each.

If you'd like to chat over your options in more detail or have any other questions, please feel free to give us a call or chat with us through 1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and always happy to help.

Take care!

NRS

[Guest]

First when my step dad first came I kinda liked him but then he started to be more and more mean to me untill one day he lashed out at me by pushing me very hard upstairs to my room when I was going then I really hated him and he lays whines called me cheeky noisy and disturbing and never gives me privicy but once he pushed me so hard I got a bruise all down my bottom with all sorts of coulors and my mum doesn't care so I like to go to my grandparents because my nana beloved me a little he's a lot worse when my mom is around I really hate him and wish he was gone I'm going to admit it I hate dogs and love cats I asked my mum to get myself one she said alright then my step dad convinced her not to then she said no we are getting a dog I didn't want one she said fine your missing out but now she said we are having one and it's a cocapoodle one of the worst dogs so noisy I have asburgers I'm 11 and a boy and I really wish he was gone because his son has a dog and she is noisy it's just a pain and when I do something he says carefull whines or prods me hardly it's so mean of him to bruise my hardly and for him to not be careful because he was nice untill mum liked him I wish he was gone and had a happy life again like it used to be quiet calm and happy not noisy annoying and cruel that's all and I hope things change really I do

[ccsmod13]

Hi there

We are glad you reached out for help. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help and support. It is tough dealing
with a new step-parent in the house. It would be challenging for you just with day–to-day parenting issues but it is really difficult not getting privacy and being pushed around by your step-dad. It is totally understandable that you are thinking about ways to get out and go live with your grandparents. We would like to help you with that. We can help you talk with your nana about that and see what kind of plan we can work out for you. The next step for you would be to call our 24/7 confidential crisis hotline at 1 (800) RUNAWAY and talk with one of our liners about the specifics. If you are not able or uncomfortable with that you can chat with us through the NRS website at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon and good luck.

[Guest]

So I don’t know if this is normal or not normal but my step dad always hits me and my sisters but as “playing “ around but it honeslty hurts when he hits me like he does it hard and sometimes he leaves bruises , and now I just hate him I feel like it’s bad but I don’t know cause it’s supposedly playing around , I always tell him to stop but he continues cause he thinks I’m playing around

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are dealing with a difficult situation, and we want you to know that you are not alone.
It is not considered to be playing around when it makes you feel uncomfortable and he is leaving bruises on your body. This could be considered abuse and you do have the right to file a report. One option would be to call Child Help at 1800-422-4453 and they would be able to help with making a report. Another option would be to speak with a school counselor about what is going on and they would be able to help you in making a report. You can also chat or call us at any time and we would be able to help in making a report.

We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are available 24/7 to listen and to provide you support. Best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

should my step-dad hurt me with all his power in his hands for a really bad reason? (didn't even specify why) and lock me in my room and make me have visible pain and my mom doing nothing about it and being on his side a monster (psa I had murder thoughts towards him and was planning about hurting him back with a knife)

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out. Sounds like things have been difficult at home, sorry to hear that is happening. It is never okay for someone to hit you, and you do not deserve to be treated this way. Home should be a safe and supportive environment, and it sounds like you aren’t getting that right now. It is not okay to face abuse at home, and it is not your fault that your step-dad and mom are acting this way. Ultimately you cannot control their actions, but you can take positive steps to protect yourself. One option you have is to file an abuse report with Child Protective Services. We can help you file the report if you can call our hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY), or reach out on chat. You can also contact Childhelp at www.childhelp.org or 1-800-422-4453. It makes sense that you would feel angry when someone is hurting you. This is especially true when they should be supporting you, like your step-dad. It is also understandable that you might think violent thoughts, and it is good that you did not act on them. We encourage you to reach out on our hotline or online chat for help talking through options you have for making things better. We can discuss actions like filing and abuse report or identifying other trusted adults that can help. You don’t deserve to be facing this abuse. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we thank you for contacting us. Again, we encourage you to reach out on our hotline or chat. We are here to listen and help 24/7.

[Guest]

I went on social media and then my mom loves me I think and I got caught talking to a boy and my stepdad was screaming at me and yelling and my mom doesn't care because she loves him and I know he hates me he gets me in trouble for no reason like I do everything and my mom doesn't believe me and he makes me cry not even my bio dad screams at me id it ok to call 911 or an orphanage or should I leave at night or what do I do help I don't feel safe !!!!

[ccsmod8]

Hello there -

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline public forum. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on.

It sounds like you’re going through a tough time at home and we, at National Runaway Safeline, want you to know that you are brave to reach out and are here to support you as you think about your options. When it comes to making this decision of reaching out to local police for help, you know your situation best and are the only one who knows the best way to proceed. If you feel like your life is in danger, then calling out to 911 might help deescalate the situation right then and there.

It might be helpful to think about your overall plan ahead of time so that you can think about what is realistic and what isn't. Looking into your support circle can be a good place to start when thinking about who you might be able to go live with. That can be anyone that gives you support (ie. any close relatives or friends) Another option would be looking into shelters. Shelters have rules that you have to comply with such as curfews, but they are good temporary places. You could also look into Transitional Living Centers, which offer more long-term supportive housing for young adults. Because you are under 18, your mom or guardian would need to give permission for you to stay at those places. In regard to telling her, oftentimes, it is best to go in certain and with a plan. At NRS, we have staff on the lines 24/7 who you can practice having this difficult conversation with if you want. We also help you look into shelters, along with counseling services, as it is oftentimes helpful to have a consistent professional to talk to.

Please reach out to NRS if you need any more help. We are 24/7 and available through calls and chats.