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My stepdad and my brother were arguing the whole day. My stepdad slammed him to the ground a few times and then my brother went out of the room and i think i tipped a chair over because he was mad. My stepdad then puts him in a chokehold on the ground while my mother is screaming at him. Then I come in a start punching my stepdad and we fight until my mom breaks it up. I am 14. After my mom breaks it up he spits in my face getting blood all over me. And now expects me to say sorry. Can I press charges against him?
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Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline and sharing you story with us that takes a lot of courage. It sounds like you went through a really hard time with your family. First we want to let you know that punching and being put in a chokehold and being spit on is unacceptable, and we are sorry you and your brother experienced that.
You do have the right to call the police and make a report because from what your describing sounds unsafe and a form of abuse. You can also make a report by calling Child Help at: 1800-422-4453. You could consider talking with your school counselor about this incident, they are mandated reporters so by law they would need to make a report about the abuse.
We hope this information will be helpful today in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore options please give us a call we are here 24/7. We wish you the best of luck, stay strong!
NRS
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Hi I was wondering if this is abuse
so a round this time last year my stepdad had to wake me up late
he took the cables to my psn and said I need to wake up a week straight on time witch is hard because I have trouble waking up
I came home from school and started crying because it made me mad
the dad I hardly ever see got me this and he took it away I got in a fight with my mom who was the only one home at the time beside my 1 yo brother who had to witness this
I got mad my mom came upstairs telling me to “shut up” screaming at me multiple times i said no she tried to push me I pushed back and then she smacked me so I pushed her
she shoved me on the bed I got up and she got me in a corner I asked her why she was doing this a bit of screaming later and I asked her if she remembered when my cousin did something stupid and he said “if You did that I would make your ass purple” so one thing like this happened but not as bad
A few days after this my mom stepped on something and my mom aperently woke my brother up so my mom started to complain and my stepdad started screaming at my mom saying “do you like it when I ********ing scream huh huh do you do you” I came up here and grabbed a bat if he came into my room I was going to beat him with
then earlier today I got home from school I had goldfish I was not supposed to have hidden he goes thru my stuff randomly and when I got back from tai kwon do I got in trouble he poured that whole bucket out and all the goldfish and made me pick it up I am afraid if I do runaway my parents will hurt me they constantly down talk me I have wanted to run away but have notComment
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Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you have a lot going on at home. It must be frustrating to have things that are important to you to taken away. It sounds like you don’t feel understood by your parents and when you try to express yourself things get out of hand. Maybe you guys could benefit from some therapy since there is a lot of pushing and yelling. Sometimes it helps to talk to a non-judgmental person we can listen and help you guys learn to listen to each other and communicate more effectively. SAMHSA at 1800-662-HELP can refer you NAMI at 1800-950-NAMI is actually a great resource to use when you are having those moments were you feel upset and just need to talk to someone. If you want to talk further about what is taking place at home and go over some options you may have feel free to contact us. You could call us at 1800-RUNWAY Remember we are 24/7, confidential and here to help!
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Is it okay for my stepdad to whip me with a belt? I honestly don't know if it's legal but it hurts like hell.Comment
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Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS and sharing a bit about your situation. You do not deserve to be treated that way and it is definitely not okay for your step dad to hit you with a belt. Asking for help was a really good step to take.
You do have the right to report this behavior to get a social worker involved to help you. This can be scary decision to make and you do not have to do it alone. The national child abuse hotline (800-422-4453 ; www.childhelphotline.org) is available 24/7 to help you talk through this situation more and explore the option to report.
Additionally, we are available 24/7 to listen and help at 1-800-7862929 or 1800runaway.org. We are here to be a support for you while you navigate this challenging situation and brainstorm options with you.
Be safe,
NRS
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Umm I’m scared for what is happening to my friend at home cause his step dad hits him and makes fun of him all the time and he makes him clean the house with his brother the past 2 weeks or 1 week his step dad got out of his room and told him..WHAT ARE YOU DOING..and my friend told him nicely nothing just cleaning the kitchen and then my friend asked him what are you doing and then out of nothing his step dad gets mad and smacked him into the wall and then he was like you think I’m playing and my friend said no no no crying and then his step dad smacked him again and said I don’t want you to disrespect me again and his mom didn’t do nothing at all it’s like if he can do whatever he wants and he wastes the money on him and buys a lot of ice cream and stuff for him and he says it’s for the baby .....pls send me a gmail I’ll respond but I need help from you guys my gmail is.....([email protected])Comment
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Hello,
You mentioned some things that raise concern for your friends safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening to them at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).
If you feel like this is an option you or your friend want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them.Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time.
We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
Please be safe.
Take care,
NRS
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hi im a 15 year old girl and my step father always start a fight with my brother or mom and sometimes even me . this isnt the first time and today my step father beat me and lied to my mom saying that he accidentally slap my face and he even lied saying i cuss him which i didnt , during around july ? im not really sure , my step father hit me in the face alot of times jst because i didnt gave him MY phone , aft tt under my eyes thrs blue black and i even told my mom but instead my mom said it was my fault and i had no choice but to go to school with the bruise , my friend told me to get help but i didnt want anything to happen to my mom and she is a PR and its hard for her to get a house therefore we had no choice but to deal with it . these happened alot of time . i really want to get out of the house but im not sure if my real dad even want me so i dont really have a place to go ...Comment
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Hi there,
Thank you so much for reaching out to NRS. We understand reaching out can be difficult and takes a lot of courage. It sounds like you are feeling very unsafe and unsupported in your home. No parent should put their hands on their child in that way, let alone a step parent.
What you have described sounds like abuse, and it seems as though people around you have witnessed some physical markings on you. We understand this process can be difficult, and it sounds like you may be worried about your mom, but an option may be to think about possibly reaching out to your local child protective services to make an abuse report. We would love to support you more by discussing this option further with you, helping you get into contact with the proper office, or by making the report on your behalf. You can contact us by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or by chatting with us through our website.
It also sounds like you have been thinking about your biological father as an option. It may be a good idea to think about your interactions with him in the past and how you have best communicated with him. If he knows about some of the abuse you have been dealing with, it may be a good idea to figure out the best time to ask if you could live with him. If he doesn’t know, it could be a good idea to think about the best way in which you could tell him what you have been dealing with. We would be happy to help you brainstorm through these options further over the phone or through our chat. If your father turns out to not be an option, maybe there are other trusted adults in your life that you could stay with (like a grandparent, aunt, uncle, etc.). There are also options for youth shelters, but we know that most of them need parental consent to get into.
This situation definitely sounds it has put you through a lot of harm you don’t deserve. We hope some of these options provide some help with deciding your next steps. If you need to discuss anything further, need other resources, or want to brainstorm more we would be more than happy to help. We are open 24/7, so please feel free to reach out at any time.
Best of luck,
NRS
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Hey my step dad has just pushed me down the stairs and shoved me and hit my head and my mum doesn't give two s***ts and this is not the first time it's happend I'm now starting to get scared of my step dad now and wanting to run away what should I doComment
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Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, it takes great courage to reach out. It sounds like you have gone through a really hard time lately.
You do not deserve to be abused that is unacceptable and we are sorry you are going through that. And it must be frustrating for your mother not to be doing anything to protect you. One option to consider would be to file an abuse report. You can do this by calling Child Help at: 1800-422-4453. Another option would be to call the police, especially if you are in immediate danger and do not feel safe.
We know you mentioned running away, which is a really big decision. If you do decide to run away your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home. If you do decide to run away you could see if any family or friends would allow you to stay with them. If you are in need of a safe place you can give us a call and we can help you look for a shelter.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support. Best of luck!
NRS
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My step dad threatens me all the time aswell he’s slapped me round the face and calls Me a c*** I remember when I was in primary I had a bunk bed with a metal ladder he threatend to smash my head against it and send me to hospital. My mum never backs me because “I’m always in the wrong” he then tries to come up to me and hug me afterwards. Not that long ago we where arguing and he shoved me on my bed and started to slightly (not too hard) punch me just because I didn’t seal an envelope. I don’t no what his problem is but he needs to stay out of my way for real. I don’t no what to do with him I hate him so much .Comment
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Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, and sharing a little bit of your story with us. It takes great courage to reach out and we are so glad that you did.
It sounds like the relationship between you and your father is toxic. You do not deserve to be threatened or slapped or punched. You do have the right to file an abuse report and there are a few options in doing this.
One option could be talking with your school counselor, because they are mandated reporters they would be required to make a report. Another option could be to call Child Help Hotline at: 1800-422-4453 and they can walk you through making a report. You can also call us at NRS and we can do a report on your behalf. If at any time you feel in immediate danger please call your local police.
Having someone that can be there to support you in this may be helpful. You can consider talking with a friend or a trusted adult about what is going on in your life.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
NRS
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He hits me then continues on with his day but it’s like he hits me with all his might once he hit me with a pampers baby wipes and the top broke offComment
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Hello,
You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).
If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
Take care,
NRS
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I felll like my stedad hates me he hits me sometimes I dont know hwat to do my mom has alwes tould me to stand up for myself but today I went outside to help a kitten and he ame out and saied get in the car b*** and I just stood there and froze and then in the car he saied I was just like his daughtwe and then he started to cus at me and thretend to hit me and beat me up and I saied that is child abus and he saied no you dumb a** are you that stupied and I saied I am not your daughter so it is and then he made a fake call to my mother and saied im not coming home and he made my sister think it was rell that she went to school boling and I saied he dident because he had smashed my phone so I had called at school and my mom saied no and then he is blaming it on my sister ana familly and I dont know what to do he saies he sorry he saied that 1 minet ago but he dosent show it I fell broken I try to tell someone but I dont want to be taken away frome my mother.Comment
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That sounds really difficult. We are sorry your stepdad is abusing you like that. You don't deserve it. Just so you know, you can file an abuse report on what your stepdad is doing to you. It's emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. That's not right. Whether you decide to report or not is up to you. If you report it doesn't automatically mean you would be separated from your family immediately. Usually, a social worker will show up and interview you and your family to see what can be done to help you stay safe. But again, it's up to you to decide if you want to report or not. If you do, you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 and they can file a report for you. Or you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can file for you as well.
Getting as much support and help as you can will be very important for you. Talking more with your mom may be a good idea: really letting her know fully what is going on and how you are feeling about it. If there are other adults you trust in your life -- teachers, school counselors, relatives, clergy -- you can also reach out to them. You shouldn't and you don't have to face this alone. Of course, we are always here for you. If you call us we can discuss how you can stay safe and what you might be able to do to cope with what's going on. Again, our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and we are here 24/7 and are confidential and never tell you what to do.
Please stay safe. We hope to hear from you soon.
NRS
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My step-dad just put me in a choke hold for “being disrespectful” to him and he also pushed me up against the wall and started screaming at me.Comment
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed by your step-dad. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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I don’t have school for 2 weeks so I was just minding my business in my room playing my game (I’m 13 btw) than all of the sudden my step-dad comes in my room and tells me to get off I responded by saying let me finish my game he said ok than after 5 minutes he tells me to get off right so I do but he was just there standing at my door looking at me I tell him I’m getting off you don’t have keep staring at me than he got mad and started yelling at me(it’s 12am)my mom rushes upstairs to see what was happening but for no reason he turns around and hits my mom I got up and tried to push him away from my mom because I will not allow anyone hurt my mom especially since she’s pregnant I try to stop him but he try’s to hit but my mom stopped and they kept yelling and fighting for an hour I was shaking because if he didn’t stop I will get a knife and stab him if I have to. Is there anything I can do because I’m really scared help me please I don’t have a phone so I couldn’t call 911.Comment
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Hey there,
We are so sorry you had to watch your stepdad hit your mother. If you are in danger or your mother is in danger, try to get to a phone (whether it be a neighbor's or someone nearby's) and call 911. You and your mother's safety is the most important thing. There is also the National Domestic Violence Hotline you can call 1-800-799-7233, or you can reach them through their website thehotline.org. You are not alone. You can reach out to us directly through our chat feature or by phone in the future.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.
Be safe,
NRS
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so my step told me that he was going to hit me because apparently I was having an attitude with him and now I'm scared and don't know what to do about it.
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Hi,
Thank you for reaching out to us. We are glad that you did. We want you to know that we are here for you and that we believe you.
It is understandable to be scared since your step-dad told you he would hit you, and that you don’t know what to do about it. Sometimes what comes across as “attitude” isn’t meant that way; there is some breakdown in communications that cause
If your mom is someone that you are close to, maybe you can talk with her about what happened, and what you are worried about. If you’d prefer, you can also reach out to us in a way that we can converse back and forth, so that we can listen to what life is like for you and help you come up with a plan that you feel comfortable with. You can reach us either by our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) or via live chat through www.1800runaway.org
We hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely, NRS
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Is it okay for my dad to threaten to throw me out of the house? Is it okay for him to "Woop" me with the belt, or slap me?Comment
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Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to write us here at NRS. It takes a lot of strength to share a bit of your story. From what you mentioned, it sounds like your dad is making home a dangerous place for you. Parents are supposed to make home a safe place where you feel supported and cared for.
Generally speaking, your parents are your legal guardians until you reach the age of majority (18 in most states). This means that your dad has a legal responsibility to make sure you have a safe place to live. If he kicks you out it can be considered neglect which is illegal. Using a belt and slapping you are examples of physical abuse and it is never okay for a parent or anyone else to physically harm you. You do have the option to make an abuse report to involve child protective services. There is an organization called Child Help that advocates for young people in unsafe and abusive situations. You contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or go to childhelp.org to learn more about what the reporting process looks like and how to make a report.
We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.
Stay safe,
NRS
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no he can’t I put up with the same ******** for up to 4 years until I got bigger than him and stronger than him and he tried to do it one day and I put him on his ass knocked his head into the hardwood floor and yelled "don’t touch me again or I won’t stop next time nasty prick!" And then I ran away for a good month and a half I’m looking for help run too my grandma is fighting for custody but idk how I’m going to get out because he took all my ******** except my bed and 3 days’ worth of clothes like I’m talking even my dresser and some shoes, and put it in a storage unit god knows where.Last edited by ccsmod4; 03-27-2020, 01:56 AM.Comment
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Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).
With everything that you have been going through at home it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your situation. Well done. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 9-1-1 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS
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My step-dad beats me and my brothers up with a belt and makes fun of me every day, he threatens to hurt me more or make me live on the streets if I dont listen to him and constantly hits me if I dont listen to him or show any sign of disrespectComment
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Hey there,
Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.
Be safe,
NRS
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