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Can you run away from strict parents?

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  • Can you run away from strict parents?

    My parents are very strict, and very mean to me. I'm not allowed to have friends, I'm not allowed to go anywhere or participate in after-school activities, I'm always locked up in the house, I can't go to my room or anywhere else in the house by myself without them yelling at me, and they put security cameras in my room so they watch me 24/7? Even while I get dressed and exercise? It sounds a little off to me. My parents only care about making me suffer. My mom said straight from her own mouth that she wants me to suffer just because I got a B in math, but made straight A's and got a 4.3 GPA for the final semester. I see all these happy families going out and doing things together, being nice to their kids and overall enjoying life. I can't have that. My parents only care about other people's kids. I eat the same thing everyday, I haven't gotten new clothes in 2 years, and I'm always being pushed away from them. I want to be somewhere where I can enjoy my childhood. Right now, I feel depressed and isolated from everything. I feel like I really am suffering because I'm always talked down to. It's like they hate me. They never include me in anything, and even when my sister (who is 1 asks to just sit on the porch and talk to another kid in the neighborhood and just have some kind of human interaction for a good five minutes, they yell at us. Saying that people who "put themselves out there" are the ones who get killed early and how we're going to die young. They say we'll never amount to anything in life just because we want to enjoy our childhood. I mentally can't take being here anymore. If I have to stay here for another three years I might just lose it. Sorry for the rant, but what I'm trying to say is, can a child leave/be taken from parent with these types of behaviours? I don't want to stay here and suffer. I want to be with a family who loves and cares for me, doesn't push me away, and who allows me to be myself. Right now I feel really stuck and I'm about to hit my breaking point.

  • #2
    Hi,

    Asking for help can be really difficult, and we are glad you reached out to us. You do not deserve to be treated this way. Abuse reporting is always an option, but Child Protective Services may not immediately remove you from your home after an abuse report is filed. If you are interested in learning more about abuse reporting we are available by phone 24/7 and are here to provide additional resources and support (1-800-786-2929).

    It sounds like your parents are very strict and you are feeling depressed and isolated. If you interested in talking with someone about your depression the Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration (samhsa.gov; 1-877-726-4727) is a resource you could use to find a mental health professional. If you think talking to your parents could be helpful we can help moderate a conference call to ensure it is a constructive and helpful conversation.

    Running away is a big step and thinking about where you will go and how you will take care of yourself can be helpful to think about before you decide to leave home. It may also be helpful to think about how your parents would react if you left home and then they found you.

    We are really glad you messaged us and are here to help 24/7. Do not hesitate to call.

    Good Luck,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I need to know how to run away from my strict grandmother to some wear I can never see any of my family if I get anything under an A I get yelled at I’m not allowed to wear black and she’s homosexual and I’m lesbian she’s called me weird and a freak the house hold is not clean at all and my uncle is always high and I just can’t take it anymore it’s gotten to the point where I cut my self

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

        We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/

        You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.

        If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

        Stay Strong,
        NRS

    • #4
      i really want to run away from my strict parents I'm not even aloud to step in the backyard without getting yelled at and sometimes when i do i get hit for NO REASON and my mom is always yelling at me because i don't clean and i been depressed lately i don't feel like doing school i have trouble in school too and i don't feel like getting up all i do is sit in my room all day just i don't have to deal with them and when eve i wan to go to my friend's house they never let me and can't participate in school activities all i can do is go to school and then go straight home the only time we ever go out is during the summer and when my mom friends convince my mom to let us go have fun but sometimes she is always ify about it and i can't even trust my own mother every time I ask about my dad she is always switching the subject like all i want to know is who my dad is and she listens to my stepdad all the time he only uses me when he needs my help that's it PLZ HELP ME I'm scared to run always bc i feel like I'm gonna get beat and i feel like this is gonna affect me when i grow up bc I'm not used to talking to people outside of my house like i have really bad social anxiety like when i grow up i don't think i can keep a job .

      Comment


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

        While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

        If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Be safe,

        NRS

    • #5
      Is it okay to have your mom call you a fat sh*t because you accidentally broke something? She said she wants to throw me away and kick me out. I don’t know if I can take it anymore. She’s always been strict but you probably don’t think this is a big deal. I don’t actually want to run away but when I ask my mom for help EVER she says I can do it myself or that I’m dramatic. I don’t really need child protective services or something I just wanted to talk to someone. I could maybe use a therapist and ive even asked her for one. I’ve complained about never getting sleep and being tired 24/7 but my DAD this time said specifically “you’re too young to be tired. Stop making excuses and being lazy and get your a** up and clean.” That’s another problem they ALWAYS have us clean guests or not we clean everyday, top to bottom, until the house is sparkling. When I try to talk to them about this once again they call me dramatic. I tried SO MANY F ING TIME TO TALK TO THEM BUT IM CALLED F ING NAMES. I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. My parents always act like the world revolves around them and treat me like sh*t. It’s only me and my older sister even cleaning and doing work and being treated this way. My little siblings never do anything and get treated like royalty. Referring to the beginning: I broke something on accident today and texted my mom immediately. I asked her if she wanted it thrown away guess what she said?! She said she wants to throw me away basically telling me she wants me out of her house. She didn’t even ask if I was okay! She also brought my older sister in this and blamed her too! I feel so guilty and bad I can’t take it anymore. I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it again. I. Can’t. Take. It. Anymore.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there,
        You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
        We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support. We can only respond to forums twice, so you can best reach us by phone, 1800-RUNAWAY, or by live chat, www.1800RUNAWAY.org.
        Be safe,
        NRS
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