I want to live with my bio dad

[Guest]

I have been adopted since I was 3 and when I turned 13 I moved back with my bio parents because the person who adopted me physically and mentally abused me. At that age I didnt know what I could do to get out if it into I left. I am now 15 years old and living back with my adoptive father because I started to go down hill. No doubt he helped me but I'm scared of him hurting me again, it has been mentally abusive and I don't want it to get worse. My dad wants me home too, Kevin my adoptive parent knows I want to move out but won't let me. I have been looking to get emancipated when I'm 16 but that's now for awhile... I don't know if I can live where I want while in the process of getting emancipated. I'm planning on going back with my dad the next time he comes and sees me, with out permission, can I get in trouble with my circumstances? He has a job, sober, has his other kids back, and wants me back.

[ccsmod10]

Hey there!

We’re so glad you contacted us at NRS! It sounds like you are going through a very rough situation at home. You do not deserve to be treated the way your adoptive father is treating you. We’re glad you are able to reach out to people who are healthy and do love you like your bio family.

Our first concern is your safety. You always have the option of contact Child Protective Services in your area and filing a report. If the danger is very immediate, please do not hesitate to contact the police. If you would like to discuss this more, you can always reach out and call us or you can call Child Help. As long as you do not mention any identifying information, your call can remain anonymous. Here is the resource:

Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline)
1-800-422-4453
www.childhelp.org

If you leave with your bio dad without your adoptive father’s permission, then there may be some trouble. We are not legal experts here at NRS, but we can provide you with some general basics. There are runaway laws. These laws differ from state-to-state, county-to-county. The first runaway law pertains to you. Your legal guardian will be able to file a runaway report with the police. The police will issue this report nationwide and will be on the lookout for you and if they find you, they will bring you back to your adoptive parents’ home. Running away is not illegal. Running away is a status offense. It will not go on your permanent record, but the Juvenile Court System may get involved. The second runaway law pertains more to your bio father. If the runaway is found with anyone 18+, then that legal adult can be charged with “harboring a runaway” which is a serious misdemeanor. In addition to this, if you leave with your bio father in his car without your adoptive parents’ permission, then your bio father could be charged with kidnapping.

For a minor to be considered a good candidate for emancipation they will have to prove that they are responsible, be able to be self-supporting (a job), have a place to live and are enrolled in school with good grades or have/are attaining a GED. You may also need to have enough funds to pay for legal counsel. You will also have to pay your lawyer even if you are not granted emancipation. We are not sure about whether you will be allowed to live with your bio dad while you are going through the process of emancipation. If you would like, we can provide you with organizations or law offices in your area that may be able to help you for free or at a reduced cost if you call us.

You are so thoughtful in thinking of your adoptive father despite his abuse. You are right. He did provide for you, but that doesn’t justify making you suffer through his abuse. Abuse is one of the hardest things to live through and we want to commend you for reaching out and looking for other avenues where you can receive help and respect. Please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re open 24/7, 365 days a year. We’d love to hear from you.

Best Wishes!
NRS