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I cant stand to be in this house.

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  • I cant stand to be in this house.

    Im sixteen years old, and I live with my grandparents. I cant legally live with my mom because when I was younger she abused heroin after her and my father split up. She turned into a punching bag alongside me, with the abuser being our stepdad. My father is very much like me, and I love him to death but I didnt really see him allot until I was around 13. And its still slim. Im living with PTSD alongside my twin sister. Our mentality's are complete opposite, she is depressive as I am aggressive. My hands are basically always injured, because when I lose my restraint on my temper I hit objects that can take the force rather than my guardians. Im 6'1 and I only weigh around 138 - 142 pounds. I have a high metabolism so dont worry, I eat allot. The problems at home are simple, my grandmother and my sister. My sister is like an illogical force of nature. She has to be driven completely by emotion and I by logic, so we get into spouts over the stupidest things allot of the time and she "Pushes my buttons" and shes admitted to doing it on purpose, to a therapist and to my parents aswell. Now playing around with someone who has an aggressive PTSD is not very safe, and they know that. But my grandma does the same thing allot of the time.

    All I really want is my independence if Im being completely honest. My grandparents dont know how to handle that, Ill go into town and sometimes with some coaxing I can stay with a friend for a couple of nights. When I come back I recap to them the events that played out, such examples range from good things like : We've finally resolved that whole dispute with ____ and I had a great week chillin' out.

    To the more bad things such as : I have allot more drama to mediate in order to keep my group in tact ; I had to find a place for ___ to sleep last night because my friends parents said he couldnt sleep there, so I ended up sleeping in a Garage for a couple hours so he didnt get busted being out past curfew.

    On that last situation, I was told that I should have abandoned my friend and have him sleep on a bridge by my grandmother. Just to clarify, this was my best friend.

    She told me to let him sleep alone on a bridge at around 2:00 AM so I could be comfy and safe in a house.
    I can understand her perspective, but Im an insomniac and dont typically sleep anyway. Not to mention that friends are the most important thing in the world to me.
    Growing up I didnt really have any friends, what with me needing to come home everyday so other parents didnt see my bruises. So I didnt have a friend until I was in the 8th grade.
    The friend she told me to abandon, was the only one who noticed when last October I went into a mental hospital in nationwide.

    And when I got out he was the one who was there for me. Helped me when I cried and talked to me so I could sleep at night.
    I couldnt do that. Id walk to the end of the earth for him and back if I needed to.

    I cant take my home life, and I thrive off of the independence that my social life brings me. So Ive been considering forcing this lifestyle onto my parents.
    I can understand that they want me home sometimes. But when its to the point where when I come home, within 2 days everyones fighting because they cant adjust to my needs
    I need to leave.

  • #2
    Hey there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

    It sounds like you’ve survived a lot of trauma in your life, you’re incredibly brave! It makes sense after going through that, you’ve turned into an independent person. It’s good to hear that you have a supportive friend, even though your grandmother may not understand how important he is to you. There are places called Transitional Living Placements, we don’t know specifically where you are, so we can only give broad information on the TLPs. So what TLP does is it offers a comprehensive services to young people between the ages of 14 to 24 who are unstably housed or experiencing homelessness at their current time. They provide tools that youth need to thrive. Things like stable housing, employment and education opportunities, primary and mental health care, lasting connections with caring adults, and/or the skills to live a healthy and independent life. Emancipation may be appropriate for your situation as well. We’re not legal experts, but we do have resources for legal advocates if you contact us! Lastly, we also offer conference calling between youth and parents/guardians (so we'd call out to them together). If you need assistance getting permission to live on your own or would like to talk to them about the problems you're running into when you come back home, we can help!

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. If you would like to talk more about those resources please chat soon through our website if you are unable to call in.

    Be safe, NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      • Hi,
      • I am 16 and really want to get out of my home. Things are very complex, my neighbor and my mother had a fight which led me to a head beating. My mother increases the neighbors rage and ends up sparking dramas constant. I feel my well being is indanger, unfortunately I need a full out plan to get out because of court stuff with my father. I can't live with my father because he it is life treating to do so. I have no other family members around and no friends that are able to lend a place to stay. I wouldnt like police involved any more then they already have been, police have suppored to have a restraining order on my neighbor but I know that my neighbor isnt a person to back down an that i believe it has just sparked a bigger fight and I feel im gonna get the knock outs for it. Is there any way at all to have another option please???

      Post Reply


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Please see our response from your other post:

        "Hello there, thanks for reaching out.

        Sounds like home is an unsafe place for you with your mom and your neighbor. You do not deserve to be harmed in anyway, and it is not okay that their arguments result in you being harmed. Here at NRS, your safety and wellbeing is our top priority.

        It makes sense that you do not want to get police involved again, please know that you can always call 911 if you are in immediate danger. They are the ones that can get to you the fastest, and you mentioned feeling like you are in danger.

        You mentioned that the fighting between your mother and neighbor resulted in a head beating for you. No one deserves to be harmed like that, and you do have the right to report abuse going on in your home. If your neighbor hit you rather than your mom, that would be something that is reportable to police. If it is your mom that is harming you, you do have the right to report abuse in the home to Child Protective Services (CPS). If CPS investigates and finds the abuse highly dangerous, you would be removed from your home. CPS should take head injuries seriously. To learn more about reporting abuse, you might contact the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. If you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we can help you make that report if you are interested in doing so.

        You are right, your situation does sound really complex. Unfortunately, it is a little hard to understand with your post so we might be missing important details. If you call or chat us, we can have a more fluid conversation and get a better idea of your situation. With a better idea of your situation, we might be able to brainstorm additional options for you. So please do not hesitate to reach out to us via phone or chat. Again, your safety is so important and we truly want to help.

        Stay safe,

        Last edited by ccsmod7; 06-01-2017, 11:42 PM.
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