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  • running away

    Im 16, 17 in about 4 months, and i live in California and I want to run away. I have been verbally and emotionally abused for almost all of my life, and during my eighth and ninth grade years I was occasionally physically abused. During my ninth grade year I told a school counselor about the self harm and anorexia I was dealing with and i told her what was going at home. She my mom and all she did was get mad and yell me calling me a liar. My dad who i had not seen for a while came to take me away from her but she filled a restraining order on him. The police and cps were called and i was asked a bunch of questions and all they said was since I didn't have any bruises there wasn't anything they can do. More recently my mom and step dad were fighting about me and I'm still not sure why but throughout the fight he threw a wine glass at my bare feet and threatened to hit me with a shoe. He is physical abusive and and verbally abusive towards my mom when the do fight. I have many places i can go if I do run away. I will be safe and loved and I will still be in school but my only concern Is what would happen if I do go? Will my friends parents be considered kidnappers? Will my mom be able to take me from school? Will she have the cops come get me?

  • #2
    Re: running away

    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re going through a tough time and seeking support and services for your situation. We’re not legal advisors but we’ll attempt to provide as much help as we can. It sounds like you’re trying to figure out how to leave home without legal guardian permission and still remain safe.
    We’re sorry to hear that things have gotten to the point of emotional, verbal and physical abuse for you. No one deserves to go through that so we hear you when you say you need to leave and be safe. If that’s not happening at home, we may be able to provide some insight on how you can stay safe.

    The family that’s willing to house you sound like reliable and helpful people. Do they know your situation of abuse? What are their thoughts on you coming to live with them? You bring up relevant questions and concerns: are the people you’re staying with breaking the law? If you mom knows of your whereabouts can she have the cops come get you? Can you be taken out of school?

    One thing to consider is the age of majority-in California, at what age are youth allowed to move out of the house without having to face legal consequences? Again, we’re not legal advisors but as far as we know that age in CA is 18. That means that until you turn 18, if you leave home without permission and decide to live with any other non-guardian adults, those folks can face legal consequences and your guardians can have you taken out of school and picked up. Simply put, it’s difficult to leave home without permission and anyone that houses you has no rights and is breaking the law.

    That isn’t to say that you deserve safety and options. Fact of the matter is that your home is unsafe and the proper people need to know. Would you ever be willing to file an abuse report against your guardians? It sounds like your counselor should have done that a long time ago. Also, social services does have this thing where if there aren’t bruises then they can’t claim ‘abuse’. But both you and I know that abuse and being unsafe comes in many ways. You may have to continue to put pressure on social services and let them know that home is unsafe. It takes more time and energy but we’re willing to do that with/for you.

    If you wanted help filing a report we’d be able to make that report with you if you ever called our crisis line. There’s also the option of trying to get your guardians to let you move out to a safe place. Would they ever be willing to do that?

    If you’d like to explore this some more, please reach out to us over the phone. We can work on finding other options and resources for you. We’re an anonymous, confidential and 24/7 hotline. We’re here to listen, here to help. Please call us at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    Best,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Comment


    • #3
      RE: running away

      Hi, thanks for answering the questions about my friends parents safety. I would love to call but my parents still refuse to give me an in service phone claiming I am irresponsible. Also, what ways may I anonymously contact cps or any authority figure to help me get through this..

      Comment


      • #4
        RE:RE: running away

        Hello,
        To find out more about reporting you can contact ChildHelpUSA. They are also a confidential and anonymous hotline that is available 24/7. That number is 1-800-422-4453. Good luck.
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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