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I'm depressed at home and hate my parents, but im too young to do anything

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  • I'm depressed at home and hate my parents, but im too young to do anything

    Hello, I am only 14 years old, and even though I cannot legally leave my home, I am fed up about my parents always considering me to be a failure, in the eyes of my older brother and anyone they could possibly compare me to. Even though I feel confident about my grades in school and my extracurriculars, the typical Asian stereotype really hits me hard. My parents think that having B's in school will cause me to fail in high school and not get accepted into ANY college, even though I am taking 7/8 honors classes. I tried convincing them that having B's in school doesn't mean that I'm a failure, and that I wasnt as smart or talented as my brother when it came to academics, but they just wont buy it. They still compare my to my older brother, who got straight A's in all his classes and just recently got accepted into college. Even though I play tennis and am pretty good at it, and practice for it a lot, they just see it as a lame excuse to not work the same amount as my brother did, even though I am exhausted at the end of of a 2-3 hour practice. And to make it worse, they used to hit me a lot when I was younger, so it makes me feel super anxious, depressed, and nervous at home. One time when I lost a tennis match because I wasnt playing very well, my dad took me into the backseat of his car, and punched me for about 10 minutes straight while my mom just sat in the front seat like nothing was happening. Even though i managed to block most of the punches with my arm. By the time I got home, I had multiple bruises. Another time, when I got into the bad habit of biting my nails, they threatened to burn my hands on the stove, until I cried and pleaded them not to. Even now, just getting a bad grade on a test or assignment causes me to get slapped or punched, even if my overall grade is still a B, which is an ok grade. My point is that I'm becoming more depressed as every week goes by, and Im havnig suicidal thoughts, even though I stop myself every time, i know eventually i wont be able to. I am planning on leaving when I turn 18, but for that I would need money, a car, a job, somewhere to go, and a place to stay. Is there any way possible for someone to help me or guide me into getting some of these things in the next 3 and a half years?

  • #2

    Thanks for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear that your parents have been so tough with you. It sounds like you’ve done your very best to do well in school and extracurricular activities and you’ve been met with what sounds like physically aggressive behavior from your dad. We can’t tell you what to do, but we can share information that might help you decide where to go for help.

    We want you to know that it is not ok for someone to physically hurt you. If you feel unsafe at home and want to report what goes on with your parents (the punching, slapping), know that there are agencies out there to support you. Child Help, available at 800.422.4453, can help you find your local child protective services agency. If you need help reporting, or if you just want to talk about what that might be like, please feel free to reach out to us. Like Child Help, we’re here to support you in whatever you decide to do. Much like us, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, available at 800.273.8255, is also a great agency that’s there to listen and support you when you’re feeling like you might want to hurt yourself. Please know that there are agencies here that will listen when you need us to.

    In your message, you also talk about help or guidance in getting things like a car/money/job/place to go. Where money is concerned, it may be a matter of looking into a part time job once you’re legally allowed to work, or possibly working to save any allowance you receive to put towards your “living independently” fund. We’re not aware of any specific services that might help you in getting a car, but with that said, if you live in an area that has public transportation, a car may not be as important to get straight away. If you’re concerned about where you’d live, places like transitional housing might be a good option for you. These agencies offer a stable place to stay, help in finding work, and overall work to support your goal of being independent. These types of agencies typically operate on a first-come, first-serve basis, so you’d likely reach out to them once you were ready to leave home. Beyond that, we would really need to speak with you directly to find out where you’d be comfortable living and how you’d like to get there. You’re welcome to give us a call, we’re available 24/7 at 800.RUNAWAY (786.2929), or send us a chat every day from 4:30pm – 11:30pm CST. We’re here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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