i don't belong.

[Unregistered]

I am 15 years old and I have a family of 6, I don't belong here. They are all athletic, beautiful people, and I'm just not like them. I need to get away from here...I try to be smart and beautiful like all of them but I'm stuck with being myself. Everyone in my life is a douchebag and I honestly don't want them in my life. sometimes I wonder what would happen if I disapear. when I was 14 I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills, I was so scared on what was about to happen that I told my mom that is accidentaly took one to many and that's why I was so loopy. she believed me. They took me to the hospital where I was asked if i "have ever wanted to harm or kill myself?" I said no. This was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I thought that maybe if he would just look into my eyes, that he would see that these people are the reason I tried to go to sleep forever. But he just walked out of the door, and that's the last I ever saw of him.

[ccsmod14]

Re: i don't belong.

Hi there,

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time and that you are feeling alone. It is very brave of you to share your story.

You mention that you regret not confiding about your suicide attempt when you were at the hospital. If you want to talk about your concerns related to that specific incident or ever feel like hurting yourself again, you might consider calling the National Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-TALK).

You also mentioned that you feel like you don’t fit in with your family. Do you have a close friend, trusted teacher/guidance counselor at school, or someone at your church that you would feel comfortable talking to about your situation? If not, you might consider counseling agencies. If you call us, we can help identify counseling agencies, peer counseling, or support groups in your area.

Again, thanks for reaching out to us. Please consider calling us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY so that we can help you find resources in your area and to talk about other possible solutions. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM Central time that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org). We’re here to listen, here to help.

Hope to hear from you soon.