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I Don't Know What to do

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  • I Don't Know What to do

    I'm 20 years old, in my first year of college(online), and I live with my mother. We lived alone and everything was always fine. Recently we took in my sister because she had some issues with where she was staying (she's 21). It was okay for a bit but then my mom started getting annoyed with her (she can be very annoying). She's been taking up all the space in my room for months now. At the beginning of April, we drove from New York to Minnesota to get her stuff from my aunt. We used all of our money to do so, so when we got back I paid our rent and all of our bills with my financial aid check from school. My mom promised to pay me back because my sister was supposed to pay her back. My sister gets child support from my dad, so each week shes been giving most of it to my mom. (I also receive child support but I don't get any of it because my mom puts it towards bills). At this time, all of the money that my sister owed my mom (minus what she was supposed to give to me) should be paid up.

    Two days ago, my mom woke up in an incredibly bad mood and told me that she wanted me to get out. (Technically, I am a tenant of the house as I signed the lease, so she doesn't have the authority to make me leave, but she's insistent) She said she's no longer going to pay the internet bill (which I require for school) and that on June 1st she'll give me the money she owes me and then I need to get out.

    I know I'm not a kid, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. The only family I have nearby is my grandparents, but they don't have any room. I don't have any friends to live with nearby or otherwise. I lived on my own for about a year and it didn't work out well. I don't have a job or any money, so I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

  • #2
    #1 Response

    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

    Sorry to hear you are going through so much at home with your mom. It is not okay that she is taking out her stress with your sister on you. You are right, you have tenant rights and she cannot just kick you out like that. If you are okay with leaving that home, you might ask her or your landlord what you can do to get off the lease so you do not have a legal responsibility to pay rent there. Since you all are using your financial aid for rent, you might make sure that money goes into a bank account that you and your mom do not share so she cannot take it from you. If you do not have a separate back account, you should be able to change your account settings at 20 years old by contacting your bank.

    We are not legal experts by any means, but it does seem odd that your mom is collecting child support for you and your sister when you two are 20 and 21. From our knowledge, child support ends when the child turns 18 or graduates high school. If your dad is voluntarily still sending your mom money to help you all out, you might ask him to send it directly to you and your sister so your mom cannot take it.

    It sounds like your biggest problem is not having somewhere to go come July without a job or money. You might start looking for employment and apartment now online or in your community, and set aside loan money if that is possible. You mentioned that your dad is financially supportive, you might see if he would be willing to pay your first month’s rent or something like that. You mentioned being in an online college program. If it is a more local school, sometimes they having housing resources you can still utilize as an online student.

    If you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us, we can look for shelters in your area if you are unable to find housing by July. We can also look to see if there are any transitional living programs (longer stay, supportive shelters) in your area. We can also are here to talk through your situation, provide support, and brainstorm your options so please do not hesitate to call. You should not have to go through this alone and we truly want to help.

    Best of luck,

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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