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I Plan to Runaway and I could use some advice.

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  • I Plan to Runaway and I could use some advice.

    I just can't take it anymore. It's to much. I' sick and tired of dealing with my dysfuntional family. I plan to sneak off sometime this spring during school. I figure I can catch a train in this boring old town to Chicago then New York. I figure by the spring if I try really hard I could have saved upwards of $500 total. I have about $235 right now in my room. And I'd bring some of my things to pawn off for extr cash, so that's a good extra chunk.
    I don't want to do drugs, or get drunk or be a prostitute or anything like that. I was wondering if anyone had any good ideas of stuff I could do for money. I figure I could draw some pictures since I'm pretty good, and make stuff like different types of cards and stuff, and do other stuff like act like a mime, or some other street performance. I know what I would tell people if they ask about me not being in school. But I really want to be know what I can do when I get there.
    I also would need to find a place to stay. Does anyone think sleeping in a tree in a large park would be a good idea for the spring and summer. But I wouldn't know what to do in the fall and winter. Anyone have a suggestion?
    I know I'd go to a shelter or soup kitchen often, I plan on it to save money for food when I really need it and other necessities like clothing and things like toothbrushes and that sort of thing. Do you know if they can report you to Social Services? If so, which won't?
    I also need to figure how much it would cost to get to New York on a train, and also what train to ride. If anyone has any idea about a good cheap train ride to the Big Apple from around Pontiac I would apperciate it much. Or even a connection to a place that has a train to there.
    I have a base idea of how to get to the train, but I'm worried about the distance I would have to go in the time I have. I figure I would have about 2hours and 45minutes to get there if I went during school, maybe even more by a half hour to another 45 minutes if I get into an intramural, if they don't call my parents. I'd have to walk. If I do it this way.
    Option 2 would be me faking sick for one day on that my mother has a class and my father is going to be out, or we would be going out as a family. Less stable about the line up, but it could provide me with more time to get there and my bike as well. But how would a kid on the side of a highway look? Does anyone think I could call a cab?
    I'm pretty scared about this all and I just really want to be safe when I really do it. I don't want to bearound some major people in my family anymore because they are just getting so much worse as time goes on. My father doesn't sleep and gets all delusional and then never thinks anything is wrong. He takes to much of his prescription and that whacks him into Crazy land and he starts talking nonsense. He and my mom would always get into a fight about stuff like this that he does, and my mom would always be right.

    I just plan to leave, and knowing the plan makes it all a bit more bearable when I don't have to fret over the details when I think about, and I just know where to find this stuff out. I'm still pretty young I guess, in physical age. But I feel like I am so much more sensible and responsible that most. So if anyone would be willing to share a little bit of knowledge on what I should know I would be eternally grateful.

  • #2
    Re: I Plan to Runaway and I could use some advice.

    Thanks for reaching out to us through the bulletin boards. It sounds like you’re really thinking through your plan for running away next spring. It is important to really think about how you’re going to survive and how you’re going to stay safe before making the decision to leave. You mentioned a little of why you want to leave home at the end of your post. Does anyone at home, other close family members or friends, know that you want to leave your house? If so, what do they say about it? If not, what do you think they'd say? Are the things at home that are making it unbearable for you, things that you have control over? Is there anything you can do to make staying at home a more viable option for you? Are there any adults in your life that you can turn to about your frustrations with living at home?

    We can’t really help you figure out how to runaway, but we would like to give you a little input about some of what you wrote that may help you process through what you’re thinking and help you make decisions to keep yourself safe. We never tell anyone to runaway or not to runaway, but rather want to make sure you have the information we know about running away and help you process your plan, so you can make the best decision for yourself. Do you think if you do runaway that your parents will call the police and file you as a runaway? If they do, just so you know, this will go into a national database, which means that if you get picked up in a different state the police will be able to see that you’re a runaway and where your guardians are. If this happens, generally a youth is held in juvenile detention or a local shelter until their guardians can either pick them up or get them transportation home. This runaway report usually stays until the youth is either found and the parents take the report off or the youth turns 18.

    You mentioned that you want to go to Chicago, but eventually New York. Have you ever been to Chicago or NYC before? Have you thought about the reality of staying on the streets in NYC? Do you think you’d be safe there? There are youth shelters, but one thing to know about shelters is that by law they have to contact either a youth’s legal guardian (parents) or social services (if there’s abuse at the home and that’s why the youth left). There are no shelters that a minor can stay at that isn’t going to have to contact someone. All have different time limits on when this would happen, some say immediately, some within 24 hours, some within 48 hours, but the longest is ever 72 hours. We’re not sure about soup kitchens and drop-in centers, whether they’d have to contact anyone in order for you to receive services. Here are a couple organizations with drop-in centers in NYC if you want to contact them and find out about their parental notification policies. Street Work Project 212-695-2220. Safe Horizon 212-577-7777. Safe Space 212-226-3536.

    Do you think that your plan of running away to NYC, along with how you’d survive and where you’d stay is a better option than staying home? It may be tough to be in a big city with no support system and no one to turn to if you're in trouble. Have you considered any other options? Such as staying with a family member or a friend. How old are you? Have you thought about ways you could cope with having to live at home until you turn 18? One other thing you mentioned was that you have a plan of what to tell people if they ask why you're not in school. What about actually going to school? Is your education something you're willing to give up?

    We know this doesn’t answer all your questions, but we hope that you’re able to gain some insight about what running away might entail and some obstacles you might encounter. If you want to talk more in depth about any of this you’re welcome to call our hotline anytime. Someone is available 24/7. The number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re completely confidential, so you don’t have to worry about us telling anyone you called or what was discussed. Give us a call day or night.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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