19 years old legal and mom is strict on everything

[Guest]

Hello, i just turned 19 years old and my mom is super strict on everything. If i go shop she wants me home at 3 for no reason can't even be with my friends. I go to college have good grades, i listen, i have a good job, and a good plan on my life in general. I don't do anything bad i hangout with the right crowd and everything to her still seems so bad and wrong. I can't ever sit down and talk to her its non stop arguments, and as a 19 year old i am super stressed out over everything because all i do ask for is freedom. I dont even like to be out till like midnight or anything i just want to spend some quality time with friends and have a great family relationship. Both of my parents want to control me no matter what and its a urge for me to not be controlled because yes i may be still young to people, but i am very responsible for my age. I save my money i manage my money better than they do, it's not fair that I have to go through this especially when im responsible myself. I need some advice or input i wanted to call the cops and tell them to explain to my mom that i am a legal adult.. She is foreign so she does not know that law. Oh i pay for my bills every month never had to wait, all i pay for is my car payment my insurance gas clothes etc. So all she does pay for is my living. I even have a plan to start a full time job that pays very welll and im on the right track with the things, i always have a back up plan for everything if the job does not work out i already have a different job lined up that goes into the career im going into (dental hygeine).

[ccsmod1]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us for help. It sounds like you are in a pretty tough situation. It is understandable to feel like you want more freedom and a later curfew at your age. It sounds like you have tried to talk to your mom about being too strict, but these conversations haven't gone well and ended with arguing. That sounds very stressful. You are in college and are doing a good job saving money, which is very responsible of you. Since you are over 18, you are considered a legal adult, which means you have a legal right to choose where you live and can move out if you want to. Your parents also have no legal obligation to provide you with housing or financial support any more. Having strict household rules is not necessarily against the law. You mentioned that you want police to explain to your mom that you are an adult. Law enforcement may not be the best option for this. If you are not reporting a crime, they would likely consider this to be a domestic matter between you and your mom and will not interfere. Negotiating new boundaries with your parents as a young adult can be really difficult for everyone involved. You have a right to move out if you want to, so you may consider looking into getting an apartment, finding a roommate to split bills and rent, or finding on-campus housing. If you are not trying to move out and just want to renegotiate the rules at home to get more free time to spend with your friends, family counseling could help. We are happy to look up any resources in your area that may be able to assist you. It is understandable to feel upset in this situation, as nobody wants to feel controlled and like they have no independence. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, so if you want to talk feel free to give us a call or chat with us online. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.