I have the same problem not with just my mom but with my stepmom too. I live with both of them, as a 15 year old and only child, I have very high expectations. High grade, Get things do on time, A million chores and if I don't do them on time, right or at all I get yelled told I am worthless, stupid, annoying a lazy. Then, less than 2 minutes later my mom is telling my I am the most wonderful thing that happened to her. Also, my mom is telling me all the time that when she was in her 20's she moved away from her parents in NY to VA. She has two sister and expected that they would have kids of their own and she would be the childless sister who took her nieces and nephews in during the weekend and had the week to herself. Then, she met my dad and had me with him. Not even a year later she left him and found a girlfriend, my stepmom. She has known me my whole life, and doesn't like kids whatsoever but made an exception for me. Then, years passed on and we never lived in the same place for more than 2 years, which I waswith fine with because I was always near my dad who I am closest to. My mom was an alcoholic and so was my stepmom. So they had many fight among themselves and with me. I saw my dad every other weekend and it was awesome. Years later, we moved 2 hours away to Chesterfield into a house. I rarely see him anymore. I have missed out on almost my whole childhood from moving, her, chores and getting in trouble. I get into trouble a lot for some reason and I try so hard not to, Im a straight A student, accepted into all my specialty centers, finish my responsibilities very well and do the best I can, and its still never enough. Not for my mom or step mom.
Also, I am not the most fit person, and my mom and step mom criticize me about it all the time, saying i'm fat not ever able to be skinny and should be like Beyonce. Which tears me from the inside. But I forgive her to easily because she is my mom. She tells me all the time I came out of her so my life, decisions, grades, feeling and everything else belongs to her. I have no control of my feeling, where I can go, who Im friends with, anything!!! She even threatens me to move with my dad and I have walked out before but she chased me. I cannot tell if she wants me to stay or go.
One thing that also drives me insane is that she says I have not lived long enough or had enough experiences to be anger or have an attitude, but I have feeling and she cannot control them or me even though she thinks she can. Then, with my step mom she just tells me something to make me feel terrible about myself or get me into trouble, gives me the silent treatment, make everyone else depressed and acts like everything is okay. My mom says she has control over my life but when it comes to making a decision she always has to check with my stepmom. My mom never makes any decisions for herself because she doesn't want to hear my stepmoms mouth.
I don't know how much more of this I can take, Im a freshman 3 years from being an adult and I don't have a phone, computer of my own, access to internet without permission, trust or basically anything fun. I want the crying and pain to end now.
What do I do? I need help.
Also, I am not the most fit person, and my mom and step mom criticize me about it all the time, saying i'm fat not ever able to be skinny and should be like Beyonce. Which tears me from the inside. But I forgive her to easily because she is my mom. She tells me all the time I came out of her so my life, decisions, grades, feeling and everything else belongs to her. I have no control of my feeling, where I can go, who Im friends with, anything!!! She even threatens me to move with my dad and I have walked out before but she chased me. I cannot tell if she wants me to stay or go.
One thing that also drives me insane is that she says I have not lived long enough or had enough experiences to be anger or have an attitude, but I have feeling and she cannot control them or me even though she thinks she can. Then, with my step mom she just tells me something to make me feel terrible about myself or get me into trouble, gives me the silent treatment, make everyone else depressed and acts like everything is okay. My mom says she has control over my life but when it comes to making a decision she always has to check with my stepmom. My mom never makes any decisions for herself because she doesn't want to hear my stepmoms mouth.
I don't know how much more of this I can take, Im a freshman 3 years from being an adult and I don't have a phone, computer of my own, access to internet without permission, trust or basically anything fun. I want the crying and pain to end now.
What do I do? I need help.
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