Trying to find hope for my daughter's boyfriend

[Unregistered]

Well I am at a lost as to what to do to help. My daughter is 16 and her boyfriend now lives out of state. They used to be able to talk online all the time and when ever they wanted to. But in just the past month now his mother (24/7 drunk). Has been causing hell for them. She drinks and then takes anything and everything out on him he is also 16 and she yells and yells at him for hours for nothing at all. Today she came home and came into his room and told him to go move the wood closer to the house. He told my daughter that he would talk to her later and was putting on his boots and jacket it's like -4° up there. Less than a minute later she was back in the room yelling that he should of already been out there working on it and that he was worthless as a human being. He picked up his other boot and she took it from him and told him that he took to long and to get out there and she would not give him his boot.
Thd power to his room is ran on a cord and when she gets mad she unplug the power cord so he has no power or heat at all. And sometimes only after he tells he how she is a good mom and how she does everything for him will she let him have power again.
She pulled all 4 kids out of school and home schools them now and they moved out to the middle of nowhere lands she keeps the kids home all the time. He can't live like that she calls him all kinds of names and says how she wishes she would of never had him and how he is worthless and how no one will ever love him.
And my daughter is so worried about him cuz he will be in tears and wants to leave there so bad but with the weather it's to far to even get to a town.

[ccsmod6]

RE: Trying to find hope for my daughter's boyfriend

Hello there,

Thank you so much for taking time to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like a lot to deal with right now knowing what your daughter’s boyfriend is experiencing. It is such an unfortunate thing to hear that he is being treated that way. He does not deserve to be mistreated. It sounds like both you and your daughter are being affected deeply by what he is experiencing at home and may be wondering what to do to help. We commend you for wanting to stand up for your daughter’s boyfriend and advocate for him and his well-being. It's great to hear he has a source of support.

You mentioned feeling lost with what to do. Let’s explore some options and see how we can help you today. When thinking about his safety as well as the other children in the home, one option is to contact agencies such as Child Protective Services or the police if there is suspicion of maltreatment in the home. If you know specifics of what is going on in the home, you are able to make a report anonymously if you feel the need to do so. He can also call and make the report on his own if he feels comfortable and wishes to do that. Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 is a national hotline that handles calls regarding abuse (verbal/emotional or physical) and neglect. They can help provide support and guidance. We are always here to help with making any reports if he may need some support or help in doing so.

It also may be helpful for him to talk to other trusted supports about what he is going through and how he feels. Perhaps there is a teacher or counselor at school that he feels comfortable talking to. There are various hotlines and organizations that he can reach out to for additional support as well. If he ever needed or wanted resources, he is encouraged to call us at the National Runaway Safeline. We can provide resources, but we also are here to simply listen and provide support.

You mentioned that he wants to leave so bad. It might be helpful to create a safety plan in case things get really unsafe for him. For example, have a plan on where to go in an emergency and thinking through who he can call if he feels like he needs to leave the home.

These are some ideas that we hope are helpful to you and to him. It’s got to be so frustrating to hear about the way he is being treated. We can sense your deep concern and are glad to see that he has support from you and your daughter. If you would like to talk more about things going on or he would like to talk more, please call us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If calling is not an option, you can always chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm CST.

We hope this helps and wish the best,

National Runaway Safeline