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I'm 16 and I don't want to live here

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  • #16
    I just need to clear my mind, I’m an 16 year girl who is just going through a lot, My mother just doesn’t care that I have feelings as well, I’ve been watching her kids since baby’s. I’m not allowed to have an life. I can’t see my family she is crazy and doesn’t know it. She makes me get these crazy thoughts to hurt myself. And it is so much pain. Crying myself to sleep just so I can get through my day. I’m so miserable and I just can’t live with her anymore. She won’t let me go to any of family members. Everything she does to me I keep it to my self it’s just torture .

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there thanks for reaching out to NRS,
      It sounds like you have been going through a lot at home and shouldering all of these feelings without the support of your family. You don’t deserve to be treated as childcare by your mom like that and then have your feelings invalidated by her on top of it. It is understandable to be upset by how much pain she causes by acting this way and feel like crying. It seems like you are considering some unhealthy ways to cope with the tough feelings that are caused by this situation and wanting some support and ways to deal with this situation that is safe for you.
      You mentioned that you don’t feel like you can live with her anymore, which is totally understandable when she is not acknowledging you for who you are and how much you do. The tough thing is that without her permission it can be hard to leave, as you would need to be emancipated, or have Child Protective Services become involved and remove you from the home. Otherwise your mom can report you as a runaway, which is a status offence, and police would look to bring you back home.
      Calling CPS might be an option, although emotional abuse like this can be difficult to prove. It might help to have a journal of what she says and the impacts on your mental health. Contacting CPS could result in either removal from the home, or potentially personal or family counseling as well. You might want to contact www.childhelp.org for more information about child abuse and reporting.
      You also mentioned thoughts of hurting yourself. We want you to be safe even if that means from your own actions of self-harm. https://twloha.com/ is a great resource for finding hope in difficult situations and avoiding self-harm. Some of the things your describing sound like a possible mental health challenge in the form of Depression, you might want to explore www.nami.org which has a list of symptoms and steps you might take to address these feelings. They also have a chat line to talk with a counselor as well. If you do feel like things are overwhelming and experiencing suicidal ideation there is always 911 or the suicide prevention lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #17
    I don’t feel like writing on this website will make any kind of difference in my life. But, I have been experiencing the emotional and physical abuse at home as well. I’m 16 and live with my mom. I’ve been hit in the face and my lip was busted as well as my nose and mouth bleeding. I’ve been dragged by my hair, I’ve been kicked in my face, I’ve been kicked out the house so many times and I’ve been called mean ugly names that no daughter ever wants to be called by her mother or anyone period. It doesn’t help that my mother is abusive as well as strict. I never am able to leave the house so I can’t really make an escape from the abuse. & calling the police won’t help, they didn’t do anything. It’s like I’m living in my own personal hell. My grades were terrible back in school, I could never focus especially since I was doing school at home most of the whole year. I want to live with my dad but my mom would never let me live with him willingly since she hates him I guess. She doesn’t even let me visit him anymore and he literally lives around the corner from our house. I don’t know if the judge will give my dad full custody of me, I just know I need my mental health back and I need to get my grades to A’s and B’s this school year, but it’s not going to happen in this household. I really feel trapped and I don’t know what to do. I just want to live with my dad or be emancipated but my mom won’t let me do either. Every time I ask she gets really overly angry and yells at me so I don’t ask anymore. Since I’m 16, I thought maybe I’ll just wait till I’m 18 but then I remember that that in my state the age of majority is 19. & I can’t wait that long. I can’t be depressed with super bad anxiety and no type of social life/freedom for 2 more yrs and 5 more months I just can’t. I have a future that I need to think about and my grades are going to fall and I probably won’t graduate when I need to. & I NEED TO GRADUATE. Getting emancipated is also hard work, it seems to be a lot of paper work and I need to find a place to stay and find a job and maintain my grades in school, but you know what? I think I could do it. I just need help. I need someone to lead me through my way to emancipation because for me THAT’S the hard part. Physically and emotionally that’s the hard part for me. But I know I could do it if I was given a chance. I’m very responsible and hardworking. I could do whatever I need to do once I’m away from my mother’s negative energy. I just know that this is the best thing for me. I wish my mom could see that as well. I just wish there was someone that could give me helpful advice that could actually you know.. help me. I’m not suicidal, I’m very religious so I don’t believe in killing yourself but I think about a lot, knowing that’s not an option for me, I can’t help but think about it. I used to cut myself because of the things I was going through and it helped..for a little till my mother tried to convince that I was crazy & I needed serious help. Then I stopped because it was all these people in my face and all of them were of no help to me so I stopped. Cutting didn’t help permanently it was a temporary thing. My mother is an alcoholic and smoker(cigarettes and marijuana). I could never turn to alcohol but I did use to rely on drugs(marijuana), which also was temporary but it was something and it helped. No one else could help me so drugs did. I’ve recently quit a little bit ago because it was kind of messing with my health and causing me to forget some things. I’ve smoked for a while and never once have I passed out but the last time I smoked I passed out like 5 times and it was scary because I couldn’t walk my vision was super blurry and it was hard for me to talk, I kept going in and out of consciousness and it was not fun. I feel like the weed was the trigger but not the cause of me blacking out. I haven’t been eating much or sleeping and of course my mom doesn’t notice, not that she cares enough to be engaged in my life. I also have been stressed and depressed and Im stuck in my room all day everyday and it’s super hot in there. Even with the fans and air conditioning its really hot also causing me to lose sleep and have hot flashes. When I passed out I was not at home, I was in public and I passed out inside the arcade place and outside on the sidewalk.. Just because I have just a little bit of hope that someone could help me, I’ve shared a very personal piece of my life and what’s going on with me. & I don’t talk much so this wasn’t really easy for me.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,



      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It takes great courage to reach out for help, and we are glad that you have decided to reach out to us. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone.

      If you are being abused in any way (physical, neglect, emotional, etc.) and feel unsafe you have to the right to contact 911. You do not deserve to be mistreated, and you do have the right to file an abuse report. One option would be to contact Child Help at: 1-800-422-4453, and they can help you file an abuse report. Also, if you’re able too, you can also talk to a teacher or school counselor about what is going on at home and they would be able to help with a report or discuss the options you have in regards to your home situation. Lastly, you can always call or chat with us and we would be able to help you make a report.

      You have described as feeling depressed and have self-harm yourself in the past. If you need someone to talk too you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Line at: 1-800-273-8255. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

      We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are available to you 24/7 to listen and to provide support through this challenging time.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.



      Best of luck!

      NRS
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