I'm 16 and I don't want to live here

[Guest]

I just need to clear my mind, I’m an 16 year girl who is just going through a lot, My mother just doesn’t care that I have feelings as well, I’ve been watching her kids since baby’s. I’m not allowed to have an life. I can’t see my family she is crazy and doesn’t know it. She makes me get these crazy thoughts to hurt myself. And it is so much pain. Crying myself to sleep just so I can get through my day. I’m so miserable and I just can’t live with her anymore. She won’t let me go to any of family members. Everything she does to me I keep it to my self it’s just torture .

[ccsmod15]

Hey there thanks for reaching out to NRS,
It sounds like you have been going through a lot at home and shouldering all of these feelings without the support of your family. You don’t deserve to be treated as childcare by your mom like that and then have your feelings invalidated by her on top of it. It is understandable to be upset by how much pain she causes by acting this way and feel like crying. It seems like you are considering some unhealthy ways to cope with the tough feelings that are caused by this situation and wanting some support and ways to deal with this situation that is safe for you.
You mentioned that you don’t feel like you can live with her anymore, which is totally understandable when she is not acknowledging you for who you are and how much you do. The tough thing is that without her permission it can be hard to leave, as you would need to be emancipated, or have Child Protective Services become involved and remove you from the home. Otherwise your mom can report you as a runaway, which is a status offence, and police would look to bring you back home.
Calling CPS might be an option, although emotional abuse like this can be difficult to prove. It might help to have a journal of what she says and the impacts on your mental health. Contacting CPS could result in either removal from the home, or potentially personal or family counseling as well. You might want to contact www.childhelp.org for more information about child abuse and reporting.
You also mentioned thoughts of hurting yourself. We want you to be safe even if that means from your own actions of self-harm. https://twloha.com/ is a great resource for finding hope in difficult situations and avoiding self-harm. Some of the things your describing sound like a possible mental health challenge in the form of Depression, you might want to explore www.nami.org which has a list of symptoms and steps you might take to address these feelings. They also have a chat line to talk with a counselor as well. If you do feel like things are overwhelming and experiencing suicidal ideation there is always 911 or the suicide prevention lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I don’t feel like writing on this website will make any kind of difference in my life. But, I have been experiencing the emotional and physical abuse at home as well. I’m 16 and live with my mom. I’ve been hit in the face and my lip was busted as well as my nose and mouth bleeding. I’ve been dragged by my hair, I’ve been kicked in my face, I’ve been kicked out the house so many times and I’ve been called mean ugly names that no daughter ever wants to be called by her mother or anyone period. It doesn’t help that my mother is abusive as well as strict. I never am able to leave the house so I can’t really make an escape from the abuse. & calling the police won’t help, they didn’t do anything. It’s like I’m living in my own personal hell. My grades were terrible back in school, I could never focus especially since I was doing school at home most of the whole year. I want to live with my dad but my mom would never let me live with him willingly since she hates him I guess. She doesn’t even let me visit him anymore and he literally lives around the corner from our house. I don’t know if the judge will give my dad full custody of me, I just know I need my mental health back and I need to get my grades to A’s and B’s this school year, but it’s not going to happen in this household. I really feel trapped and I don’t know what to do. I just want to live with my dad or be emancipated but my mom won’t let me do either. Every time I ask she gets really overly angry and yells at me so I don’t ask anymore. Since I’m 16, I thought maybe I’ll just wait till I’m 18 but then I remember that that in my state the age of majority is 19. & I can’t wait that long. I can’t be depressed with super bad anxiety and no type of social life/freedom for 2 more yrs and 5 more months I just can’t. I have a future that I need to think about and my grades are going to fall and I probably won’t graduate when I need to. & I NEED TO GRADUATE. Getting emancipated is also hard work, it seems to be a lot of paper work and I need to find a place to stay and find a job and maintain my grades in school, but you know what? I think I could do it. I just need help. I need someone to lead me through my way to emancipation because for me THAT’S the hard part. Physically and emotionally that’s the hard part for me. But I know I could do it if I was given a chance. I’m very responsible and hardworking. I could do whatever I need to do once I’m away from my mother’s negative energy. I just know that this is the best thing for me. I wish my mom could see that as well. I just wish there was someone that could give me helpful advice that could actually you know.. help me. I’m not suicidal, I’m very religious so I don’t believe in killing yourself but I think about a lot, knowing that’s not an option for me, I can’t help but think about it. I used to cut myself because of the things I was going through and it helped..for a little till my mother tried to convince that I was crazy & I needed serious help. Then I stopped because it was all these people in my face and all of them were of no help to me so I stopped. Cutting didn’t help permanently it was a temporary thing. My mother is an alcoholic and smoker(cigarettes and marijuana). I could never turn to alcohol but I did use to rely on drugs(marijuana), which also was temporary but it was something and it helped. No one else could help me so drugs did. I’ve recently quit a little bit ago because it was kind of messing with my health and causing me to forget some things. I’ve smoked for a while and never once have I passed out but the last time I smoked I passed out like 5 times and it was scary because I couldn’t walk my vision was super blurry and it was hard for me to talk, I kept going in and out of consciousness and it was not fun. I feel like the weed was the trigger but not the cause of me blacking out. I haven’t been eating much or sleeping and of course my mom doesn’t notice, not that she cares enough to be engaged in my life. I also have been stressed and depressed and Im stuck in my room all day everyday and it’s super hot in there. Even with the fans and air conditioning its really hot also causing me to lose sleep and have hot flashes. When I passed out I was not at home, I was in public and I passed out inside the arcade place and outside on the sidewalk.. Just because I have just a little bit of hope that someone could help me, I’ve shared a very personal piece of my life and what’s going on with me. & I don’t talk much so this wasn’t really easy for me.

[ccsmod15]

Hello There,



Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It takes great courage to reach out for help, and we are glad that you have decided to reach out to us. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone.

If you are being abused in any way (physical, neglect, emotional, etc.) and feel unsafe you have to the right to contact 911. You do not deserve to be mistreated, and you do have the right to file an abuse report. One option would be to contact Child Help at: 1-800-422-4453, and they can help you file an abuse report. Also, if you’re able too, you can also talk to a teacher or school counselor about what is going on at home and they would be able to help with a report or discuss the options you have in regards to your home situation. Lastly, you can always call or chat with us and we would be able to help you make a report.

You have described as feeling depressed and have self-harm yourself in the past. If you need someone to talk too you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Line at: 1-800-273-8255. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are available to you 24/7 to listen and to provide support through this challenging time.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.



Best of luck!

NRS

[Guest]

Im 16 and I just cant live with my parents anymore,
My mom and I have a very bi polar relationship. She's an alcoholic but a manageable one. She likes to tell me that shes not but she almost drinks every single day of the week. And when she's drunk her moods change really fast, and she doesn't understand how her drinking effects me and my siblings. Shes either super nice or a total b*tch about everything. She does a lot for me but the one thing she doesn't know how to do is treat a person with respect. She tells me, since im a minor she doesn't have to treat me with respect and she can disrespect me as much as she wants because she's an adult. Which isn't fair what so ever. My boyfriends mom offered to take me in, let me stay with him and her, get me a job and enroll me in schooling. My mom and stepdad are always on and off. My mom is a very terrible person. She's a cheater and she told me she's had sex with over 100 people. Which is not any of a 16 year olds business. She's ruined so many of her relationships and friend ships because of how she is with her temper or because she has tried to get with their man. My step dad has a drug addiction. Just last week my mom drug tested him and he had meth in his system, but she let him stay here, which like why would you let somebody on drugs stay in the same household with your children? She told me she uses him to pay the rent and doesn't even love him. They don't love each other. They act like they do but trust me they don't. When I was younger i met my stepdad and he abused me. He would jump on my chest, put my face in my pillow until i passed out, pick me up and drop me on a metal piece of the floor, lock me in his room all day while my mom was at work with no food, no water, no TV and i wasn't allowed to leave the room. He would threaten me if i told my mom he would hurt her and me. So i didn't tell my mom until i was 14. He was in prison at the time so i wasn't worried what he would do. My mom was mad at him but still let him live with me and my family. Hes always had a small hatred towards me but never shows it. My mom on the other hand like to throw away my clothes because when I wear them "I look like a slut" and she calls my clothes "hoe ********". But she buys them all for me. My mom doesn't really let me out of the house for anything but school. Shes let me go to a few football games at my school but was always down the street making sure i wasn't doing anything stupid. She has my location and it makes me feel trapped. She doesn't like a few of my friends for no reason so she doesn't allow me to hangout with them outside of school. I feel so alone, depressed and trapped. She hides my clothes and she would hide my phone just to hide it from me. I want to live with my boyfriend and his mom. What do I do, What are the steps I take to emancipate myslef?? Help me

[Guest]

Hi in 16, and i am from India! I don't want to live with my brother but the thing is that he cant leave neither can I and we both live with our parents .... But the thing is that my brother he is not letting me live my life in peace and I'm sick of it sooo how can I leave or make him leave the house sooo i can live ???

[ccsmod6]

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things have been difficult at home with your brother around. You mentioned that you are from India. Unfortunately, the National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our legal understanding and database of resources is limited to the USA. You can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.
Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

im 16
i don't want live with my mom and stepdad it always been a problem life as been hard since i get that they are our parents but they never let u do anything without yelling and saying how we are disrespectful i dont want to live with her or him anymore i just don't want to be there and here any more last night I punched the wall cause u was pissed off at her and no i dont have anger issues

[ccsmod6]

Thank you for reaching out to us at National Runaway Safeline. We know that it isn’t always easy to ask for help. We’re more than happy to discuss your options with you. We’re here to support you through this challenging time.
It sounds as though things at home have been really hard. It must be frustrating to not be given the independence and respect that you feel you deserve. It sounds like there are a lot of arguments around the house, too, and that you’re being blamed for a lot. This is a completely valid thing to feel upset about.
Generally speaking, if you leave home before you are legally an adult, your parents would be able to file a runaway report. This would mean that you would be returned home by the police if found. Running away is not a crime, but any adult that you stay with could risk being charged for harboring a runaway. These are some factors to take into account when considering running away. If you reach out to us, we could also look in our database for any resources in your area that might be able to help you, such as transitional living options or youth shelters.
It sounds like the situation at home has been increasingly difficult. You know your situation best. If you feel as though there is any abuse going on at home, whether it’s emotional or physical, you are entitled to report it. This is one way that you might be able to legally leave home before turning 18. We can’t be sure what the outcome will be if Child Protective Services (CPS) decides to open a case based on what you share. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help you to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
In the end, we cannot tell you what to do. However, if you’d like to talk through your options in greater detail, feel free to reach out. We can best assist you over phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat at www.1800runaway.org. We’re here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You do not have to be alone in this.
Feel free to reach out if you’d like to chat about what’s going on.
All the best,
National Runaway Safeline (NRS)

[Guest]

I am almost 16 in a few days and my family fight a lot(like yelling but never abuse)and I can’t stand it anymore can I move out at 16 be it is slowly killing me to live with my family with all the fights what do I do ?!

[ccsmod10]

It's good that you're reaching out for support while you figure this out. It sounds like your home environment has been stressful and uncomfortable for a while and you're at your limit. You definitely deserve to feel emotionally safe and secure at home, and running away or another outlet can be an option.

The laws are different in different states, but at the age of 16 you are still under your parents' custody, and cannot legally live on your own. In some states running away is a crime (meaning you can be charged, arrested, or go to jail) but in most it is not. However, if you run away your parents can file a missing person report, and law enforcement would start an investigation to find you and attempt to bring you home. If you were living with someone who was not your legal guardian, they could be charged with harboring a runaway.

We don't want you to have to endure anything that is slowly killing you, and certainly not in silence or alone. You can reach out to us by live chat (1800runaway.org) or phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) any time 24/7 to talk. We are always 100% confidential.

It also sounds like you might benefit from devoting some time+energy to your own mental health. NAMI, or the National Alliance on Mental Illness, also runs a hotline and live chat service. You might find it beneficial to chat with them. Their website is www.nami.org.

Feel free to reach out again any time.

[Guest]

I’m a 16 year old girl and I don’t want to live with my family, I live with my two brothers my mom and dad. I have a lot of mental health problems, anxiety, depression, ptsd. I was adopted when I was 3 by the family I have now, I have one sister and three brothers, I currently live with the younger brothers. I am the youngest out of my family, and I get blamed for everything, I’m expected to do more chores, I have to follow family rules that my brothers don’t have to follow. My mom is amazing and I feel safe around her, but my dad has been the issue that started my mental health problems. I have been to five rehabilitation places and one residential, 99% of the time it’s because of my dad. My dad yells at me, expects me to be the scapegoat and do everything perfectly. He has a habit of turning a situation around on to me so I take the blame. And doing this almost every day is degrading my mental and physical health. He has slapped me, call me a b**ch multiple times, he yells, he is sexist, hypocritical, a liar to protect his reputation and he doesn’t care who he hurts. He will never admit to being wrong ever, he won’t let me have my own opinions without getting yelled at. He thinks that all of those things he has done were completely acceptable and if someone disagrees he will lie about what that person actually said. I have told therapists, my mom, about all of this and they tell just wait it will get better but I have heard that saying for more than ten years. It’s always one step forward hundred steps backward, I can’t keep living like this. There will be times where I feel a connection with my dad but it never lasts more than a day. I keep getting my hopes up for something that will never happen. I am not old enough to get my own place, I don’t have enough money either, and even if I did my parents wouldn’t allow it to happen. I really need help because I want to be genuinely happy and still have a healthy relationship with my mom. What should I do?

[ccsmod3]

Hi, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are not feeling happy or safe at home mainly because of your dad. Your dad sounds like a scary person to be around as he is physically and emotionally abusive and that is never okay. It is also not okay for mom and therapists to only say wait until it gets better, it is their responsibility to help you. It seems like mom should be sticking up for you more and trying to figure out a solution. We are here to help as best as we can, so if you would like to talk more about this, please either call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We are non-directive so we will not say what you should or should not do, but we can help try to come up with some options. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I'm 15

My name is nick and i'm 15 years old. recently my mom started yelling at me for doing things that she doesn't like such as using a cell phone. I want to live with my sister and she's willing to take me in as my legal guardian but my mom knows nothing about it. I plan on moving out when I'm 16 but with the way that things have been going I don't think that im going to make it till then even tho it's a month away. she constantly trying to make it out that she's always right and that things happen because i make them happen, she just keeps coming at me for school work which makes me fall further behind. she never listens to a word i say and puts me down while building my brothers up. i've talked to my counselor and social workers and they're doing all they can to help me, but i dont want to be here anymore and have to go through what i'm going through right now. i lost my father last year to a heart attack and ever since i haven't been the same, my sister is the only one that i can talk to and I want to move in with her. I can't tell my mom or she'll go ballistic and make my life more miserable than it already is.

[ccsmod10]

Hi Nick, it sounds like you've been going through a really hard time, and we're thankful you reached out to us.

It sounds like your mom has been making it hard to find any peace when you're at home, do well in school, or simply get through the day. Having the energy to expend on anything (schoolwork, relationships, etc.) is very hard when you are experiencing that every day. You've already experienced a lot in the past year, and you don't deserve to be blamed, guilted, or brushed off.

Living with your sister sounds like it could improve life in a lot of ways, especially if you have a good relationship with her and she is willing to help. We aren't legal experts, so we can't talk specifics about the procedures of transferring your custody/guardianship to her, but looking for legal aid specializing in family law in your area could be a place to start. We could talk more about potential pros and cons of doing this if you talk with us more about it. You can reply to this post, text chat us at 1800runaway.org, or call us at 1-800-786-2929. We will always be nonjudgmental, confidential, and on your side.