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I Don't Feel Safe or Loved at Home Anymore

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  • I Don't Feel Safe or Loved at Home Anymore

    I'm only 13 years old and I have four 3 other siblings living in the house with me. I'm really depressed and don't exactly enjoy being around my family, and for that they always get onto me for stupid reasons and yell at me even though I haven't exactly done anything wrong. If I forget to or don't do the dishes one time, then everyone in the family expects me to do it. Where as if my brother or sister were to not do it, they wouldn't say anything to them. They would just make me clean up the mess. They constantly make smart remarks at me and say that I have no friends, no life, and my sister once told me to jump off a bridge and kill myself and nobody said anything to her about it. When I told my mom I didn't wanna live here anymore and wanted to live with my best friend instead because of my depression she blew up on me. Later that night I overheard them all talking about how they didn't care about me. I hardly eat, only get about two hours of sleep, and have started cutting myself. They blame my "attitude" and "smart-mouth" on the way they treat me, but my brothers and sister curse and yell and scream at them and they never get in trouble. They never really take the time to ask me why I'm so upset or why I never like to be around the family. My siblings hate me and so do my parents. My mom will hit me in the mouth whenever I "backtalk" and then my dad will come in right after and threaten me. My mom has kicked me out of the house, pretended like she didn't, and then made my dad go look for me and he was super ticked off. If my mom gets really mad, she'll choke me, yell at me, or threaten me. I want to run away or get put in foster care but it doesn't look like there's any way for that to happen. I don't know what to do and I don't wanna be here anymore. Please help.

  • #2
    Hi I'm 17 years old and I'm not feeling safe at home for a very long time . It seems as if the older I get the more violent she gets towards me. Tonight was the breaking point where favoritism and very violent actions took place . I want to run away so bad but fear the dangers of the outside world also and even more afraid to tell someone about my situation please help me

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are not feeling safe at home and are thinking about running away. We want you to know that your safety is our main priority and if you do not feel safe you always have the right to call 911. It sounds like things at home tonight reached a limit. If you are in need of a safe place to go you can try www.nationalsafeplace.org and see if there is a Safe Place pickup location close to you.
      Additionally, if you ever need a safe place to go, we also can provide you with various resources for agencies in whatever area they are in to best help them during this difficult time. You can always call us to talk about what you are going through and receive some support. We provide free, confidential, and nonjudgmental services. Everyone deserves to be respected and loved.
      Since you mentioned that as time goes on the violence is increasing we want you to know that you do have the right to make a report with Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support. We say this because like, as you mentioned there are dangers out in the world and we want you to make the best and safest decision for yourself.
      We do not want to leave you without options because your safety is our number one priority. We hope you can think over the option of calling us if you wish to further discuss alternatives. We hope you get the answers that you want. If you need anything else please do not hesitate to give us a call anytime. 1-800-786-2929
      Be safe and good luck,
      NRS

  • #3
    I'm 17 and I'm not feeling a bit safe at home. I'm constantly getting yelled at, constantly getting into trouble for stuff my other siblings do. My mother and siblings are continuously putting me down, calling me names, telling me to go kill myself. At one point my mom offered me a gun to do it, and my aunt offered me a noose. I almost took the opportunity. If I try to explain myself I get yelled at and sent to my room. But if I go to my room I get yelled at for that too. I always hear my mom saying that she doesn't like me. Don't let me forget to mention that I was adopted into this family, and I'm the only one getting treated like I'm worthless. It used to happen to my brother too, who was adopted with me, but he turned 18 and moved out. And now it's all me. I'm threatened to get kicked out if I tell my 11 year old cousin to do something. When i was 15 i got smacked around by my mom, she would beat me with jeweled belts...she's even hit me in the face with one, I was too scared to say anything because I know if it backfired, I'd get in more trouble.

    Comment


    • #4
      I don't feel safe at home anymore. My mom and stepdad constantly go through me room and my gas money that I earned with my job is disappearing, I've been told that using the toilet is a privilege, not a right. Everyone else can do what they please. I have had my clothing taken away from me, my money go missing, my stuff constantly snooped through, counseling appointments cancelled for no reason. My earbuds smashed. I have been threatened by my stepdad that he would kill my cats if I left. I haven't been allowed a proper shower in 2 weeks. My makeup is constantly smeared by their hands when I've told them countless times that it makes me uncomfortable. Other family from out of state that I cannot stand to save my life are coming home and taking up residence in my room. I am highly uncomfortable and get no say in anything. My health is deteriorating before my eyes and I haven't slept in 3 weeks, I stopped eating, and started cutting myself and purging water to lose weight. I'm 16. I have had religious beliefs shoved down my throat. People have told me that being gay is worth me going to hell. People have said I'm automatically going to hell because I have a missing chromosome on 17. I have been told that mental illness doesn't exist. I have been denied happiness since the day I was born. My mom says a can of cheap beer is more important than me. My older sister is treated like she's on a pedestal while I'm treated like a broken toy. My medications have been cancelled. Alcohol has been sneaked into my drinks, when it is known that I hate alcohol. I want to run away to Persue my dream in Hollywood as a band manager, but I don't know how to get there if I live 1/2 way across the country in the middle of nowhere. It is known that 95% of the people where I live want me dead for missing a chromosome, a gene I inherited from my bio dad. I want to disappear with my cats and just be a distant memory for this hell hole of a Trump supporting town in trashy USA. Proud American right here…note heavy sarcasm.
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-08-2017, 02:24 AM.

      Comment


      • #5
        Reply: I don't feel safe at home anymore.

        Hello,
        Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

        We appreciate you sharing what’s going on.
        You don’t deserve to be mistreated with what sounds like neglect, verbal and emotional abuse.
        Your safety is important as it sounds like to cope with the abuse you have practiced self -harm.
        This way of coping can be dangerous we urge you to consider other coping options that don’t involve harm to yourself.
        Being abused is not your fault. Again you don’t deserve to have this happen.

        There are laws to protect minors against abuse. If you would like to file an abuse report they may do so by contacting Child Help USA at: 1-800-422-4453
        Filing an abuse report is a big step but you showed a lot of courage by contacting NRS.
        Good for you.
        We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.

        Again tell us what it is you would like us to help you with and we will be happy to explore some options with you.
        NRS is here to listen and here to help.
        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Take care,
        NRS


        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #6
          Im a 12 almost 13 year old girl when i was little i was put in a foster care system i am with a family right now i have been with then since i was really little and i feel like i dont belong here they always yell at me for stupid stuff or for something i didnt do and i get threatened alot what should i do?

          Comment


          • ccsmod7
            ccsmod7 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for reaching out to us. We are sorry that you are not feeling you belong at home. No one should not feel welcome at home. You especially should not feel threatened.

            Have you talked with the family you are with and told them how you feel? While that might be a very difficult conversation to have, you deserve to have your needs and wants heard by the people you are living with. Have you talked to your case worker and told them that you are feeling threatened at home? You might try to talk to them about what you can do. Maybe they can help you change placements if you continue to be unhappy at yours.

            Again, we’re really glad that you have chosen to reach out to us. We know that it takes a lot to ask others for help when you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We’re here to listen, here to help.

        • #7
          hi, i am 17 and i no longer feel like i can go on living at home. i have been abused by my own father and have seriously cosidered running away. he has called me names and at one point wanted to die. i no longer want to kill myself but i consider running away each night

          Comment


          • ccsmod7
            ccsmod7 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello there, thanks for reaching out.

            Sounds like you have been harmed at home so much so that he has made you feel like you want to die in the past. We are so glad you are not wanting to hurt yourself now. You must be a very brave and resilient person for having endured all of this. Your life has infinite value and your safety is our main concern. Here at NRS we truly want to help.

            You do have the right to report the abuse to child protective services. If the abuse is found to be highly dangerous you would be removed from the home. To learn more about reporting abuse please do not hesitate to call us or the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453 to learn more about reporting.

            It is understandable that you are feeling like you are needing to run to get away from the abuse. Again, our top priority is your safety and you should do what ever you feel like you need to do to be safe. If you do not have a safe place to go you might reach out to the National Safe Place at www.nationalsafeplace.org or if you’re in trouble or need help, text SAFE and your current location (address, city, state) to 69866 for immediate help. You can also call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you would like us to look for shelters in your area for you.

            If you ever are feeling like you might kill yourself like you did in the past, please call or chat us or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You should not have to go through this alone, and there are resources out there for you.

            We look forward to hearing from you if you ever need and we wish you the best of luck,

            NRS

        • #8
          Hi me too but my parents blame their fighting on me so the theit therapist called dcf on me and im 13!! Both my parents and younger kiss up brother are against me. I hate my life. They are all calling places to admit me too a mental hospitol because they hate me.

          Comment


          • ccsmod6
            ccsmod6 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you reached out to us.
            It sounds like things have been overwhelming at home. You are not alone and we are here to support you through this. You can reach out to us at our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) and we would be happy to just talk to you or explore your options.
            We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.

            Best
            NRS

        • #9
          I don't know how to use this site but I need help quick. My parents can't stand me anymore (feeling is mutual) and I'm done with my dad hitting me, threatening me and my mom laughing at me/making fun of me/making me feel worthless. I've had enough of trying to convince them to change after several years. I am a modest guy and regardless I can tell you I'm a good kid. Never had problems living with other people (friends and their parents/cousins and uncles/grandparents/etc.) and they have always told my parent what a great person I am. Despite that the common factor are my parents (similarly with my three siblings) they insist that we are the ones that cannot act up and must take all abuse we are given because "it's the right thing to do". Finally my dad said that he is willing to support me living outside of the family whether in a boarding school or at the current one in a small apartment if i really want to. I am not willing to work on our broken relationship anymore, but I could just shoulder their abuse for two more years (I am 16) and then leave. However the I don't want to feel that isolated and it's (for obvious reasons) a huge and extremely scary step to take in my life. Any advice on what to do or how to make a good decision?

          Comment


          • ccsmod6
            ccsmod6 commented
            Editing a comment
            First of all thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline! It sounds like you’ve been going through a really tough time at home and it’s great that you are reaching out to better understand your options. You mention that you are tired of your parents abusing you. This is a very serious matter and you should never have to live in an environment where you don’t feel supported. If you feel like you ever want to talk about what you’re going through or report it feel free to call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. You mention that no longer want to live at home. It sounds like your father would be willing to allow for you to leave with his permission. It’s important that you feel supported wherever you decide to live and that you feel safe. If this is not true about where you currently live with your parents you can give us a call and we can help find a nearby shelter or transitional living program to stay. This decision is up to you and whatever makes you feel most comfortable. If you ever want to talk about your options or find more resources feel free to call us at anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are ready to talk whenever. We wish you good luck with everything!

        • #10
          I'm 14 and my parents act like i dont matter and when they talk to me it is yelling and blaming me for everything what should i do i dont feel loved or cared for?And my parents make me feel less about myself.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi, thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are having a hard time at home because your parents make you feel as though you don’t matter. You do matter, and it is very brave of you to seek help. It must be very difficult to deal with the constant yelling and blaming. Talking to someone that you trust like a teacher or school counselor about how you feel could help. We offer conference calls between parents and youth, if you would to express to your parents how you feel. Please feel free to contact us through our 24 hour crisis hotline, email, and live chat.

        • #11
          I am a 15 (16 in October) trans boy and I feel like that's the only thing my mom likes about me. She likes to brag about having an LGBT daughter. I'm not a girl. She acts like she is the most accepting person but she won't call me by the correct name and pronouns. She blaims everything that happens in our family on me, including her job loss. My 12 year old sister makes fun of all the things I'm dysphoric about and in the past has bullied me to the point that I attempted suicide. My only happiness comes from my 9 year old brother but now he's getting the same treatment and is being told he's worthless too just for being close with me. I want to run away so they can't tell me I'm worthless anymore I want to hide from all the screaming and fighting. I don't think I'll make it another 2 years before I'm 18. But I'm so scared for my brother if I did. She won't lay a hand on me because she knows she can do just as much damage without it so when I tell people no one believes me. Please, I need advice.
          ~Apollo(Mouse)

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thanks for thank contacting National Runaway Safeline. You mentioned the fact that you are transgender, it is very brave of you to be living in your truth at such a young age. It sounds like you have been having issues at home with your mother and your sister. We are sorry to hear about how your family has been treating you and your brother. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. You mentioned that as a result of being bullied by your sister you attempted suicide. Your life matters. If you would like to talk to someone about your suicide attempt, the National Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-8255) is a great resource. You stated that you don’t think that you could live there until you are 18. If you were to runaway and your parents filed a runaway report there is a chance that the police may find you and return you home. If you left home to stay with a friend, your friend could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. Thanks again for reaching out to us. Feel free to contact through our 24 crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929) or via email, live chat.

        • #12
          Hi I'm a 12 year old girl and I don't feel cared for or safe. My sister an parents fight all the time I've tried to submit this 5 times so I'm not typing a long paragraph. I do t feel safe I just wanna die. My mom had an abortion before me and I wish she would have killed me. I'm in counseling and I can't talk because there is another girl in with me and whatever I say she tells people or when I talked about my sister smoking pot she told me after counseling that I had to bring her stuff in my lunch everyday or she would call the cops. I don't feel safe at school at home or at church. My mom tells me im worthless and my sister use to threaten to stick a needle in my throat and kill me with it. I don't feel safe or loved by anyone one. The only one of my sister's who do care about me live away from me my sis mo lives in drumright Ok and my sis Heather lives in Tempe AZ(Arizona I do not know the obriviation) I had a case worker but when I needed to call her my mom took my phone away so I couldn't call for help. I don't wanna be here I can't talk to anyone. I just wanna die please text me so I can talk to someone. I do not feel safe talking by calling because my mom might find out and im scared to find out what would happen.
          I wrote this on September 4 2017 I love live in yale ,OK, US. Thank you.
          Last edited by ccsmod10; 09-04-2017, 05:47 PM. Reason: phone number was shared

          Comment


          • ccsmod10
            ccsmod10 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there,

            First of all thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline! It sounds like you have been going through a really difficult time at home, but it’s great that you are reaching out to get some help. We’re here to help in any way we can.

            It sounds like home life is really intense and scary. You said that you don’t feel safe at home. It’s really difficult to live in a place where you don’t feel supported or safe. Being threatened and abused is never okay, you don’t deserve to be treated that way. If you ever want to report any sort of abuse you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or even just call us to help you file that report, Child Help also has a chatting service on their website.

            Your safety is extremely important to us. You mention that you have thought about killing yourself, and having those thought can be extremely scary. You do not deserve to be treated poorly at home and if you are ever having thoughts of suicide do not hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Again, they have an online chatting system if you can’t speak on the phone at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org . Your life has worth and we are always here to talk as well if those thoughts get too overwhelming.

            If those suicidal thoughts are too much and you’re fearing for your safety at home, don’t hesitate to call 911 or if you need to leave the home, do that. If you ever need to get the phone number of a nearby shelter, or just want to brainstorm some more ideas. Unfortunately were unable to share local resources on our public forum. If you can email us, we can also give you resources that way! We have a 24/7 hotline you can call at 1-800-RUNAWAY but we also have a chat service online if you are unable to call. Talking to your school counselors or teachers about home life, could provide you with great support.

            The chat service is available on our website at https://www.1800runaway.org/# and it usually opens around 4pm but check our website to make sure.

            Be safe, NRS

        • #13
          I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I need advice. I have just turned 16 years old, for my birthday I asked my mother to take me San antonio for a convention. She said yes, this also tripled as a birthday present for my brother and my friend. (mind you my father is overseas for work). Anyway, a little before the convention (about two weeks) during a smaller convention, my mother met this guy, he was dressed like dead pool and from the moment I met him, I got these terrible feelings, I didn't feel safe around this man. Fast forward two weeks and we are driving down to the city, me, my mother, brother, and friend, it is later that night my mom informs me that that man will be joining us for the trip too. I wasn't really okay with this idea, but I went along with it anyway because I trusted her. The weekend went on, and I noticed her disappearing, often leaving me and my friend alone at the convention, she began getting closer to him. I got stranger feelings, this man became someone I didn't feel safe around. The biggest thing was when she left me and my friend for four hours alone, as she went back to the hotel with him "so he wouldn't get lost", and so "he could grab something". Our hotel was only a twenty minute walk away, it shouldn't take four hours for that. Fast forward and every weekend since he has been at our house drinking with my mother and brother. But the thing that really got to me happened this past Friday. This man had always made me uncomfortable, and I'd always had my suspicions, but that night proved me right. I walk into the house and see them standing less than an inch apart from each other, I blow it off being the dumb ass that I am and go outside. Later on they disappeared upstairs for an hour. I have known this women for sixteen years, I have trusted her, respected her, and looked up to her. That respect is gone now, and I don't think I'll ever love her again. I dont feel safe around that man, everytime we are in the same room I feel like he is going to do something. I have recently tasted cutting myself again after going a year of being clean from it. But now I only want to ruin my body, to make them see what they're doing to me. I haven't told my dad yet, I feel like he doesn't deserve this. Everyday he risk his life for our country and my mother repays him by being a *****. I don't want this man near me, I don't want him near my family. I don't feel safe at home anymore.
          Last edited by ccsmod15; 09-18-2017, 01:03 AM.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thanks for reaching out to NRS. We appreciate you explaining a bit about what you’re going through. It takes a great deal of courage to seek help and share such personal details about your life.
            It sounds like your mother met a new man that makes you feel uncomfortable. It seems like your mother’s relationship with this man has had a negative effect on your relationship with her. Talking to your mother about how her friend makes you feel could help to improve the situation. At NRS (1-800-786-2929), we offer conference calls between youth and their parents. This could be an opportunity for you to express to your mother the discomfort that you feel about her friend.
            You mentioned that you use to cut yourself but you haven’t done so in a year. However, it seems like your mothers new relationship has caused you think of hurting yourself again. The fact that you have gone a year without self harming is great. To Write Love On Her Arms (twloha.com) is a great resource that helps people that have that self harm.
            If you would like to continue to discuss your situation and need additional support, feel free to contact us through our 24 crisis hotline, email, or live chat.
            - NRS

        • #14
          Hey I'm 24 years old and a single mom to my beautiful 2 year old daughter Love. I've recently moved back in with my parents because my landlord raised the rent on my apartment and I felt I had no other options... Today my mother said horrible things to me. She is sick in her mind to say the least. Over the years I've learned a great deal from leaving home, becoming a mother, and now living with my parents again. It's so difficult I haven't got much sleep, but I just want to say believe in you're dreams! I've been to California and I'm going back to start businesses of my very own! I'd hire all of you and make sure you all have a roof over your head! No child should ever feel unloved or unsafe in their parents home EVER! Call help lines and 911 like the advisor says because they're their to help don't feel
          like just because it's your parents home you can't call for help you're a human too and you're life matters! <3

          Comment


          • ccsmod6
            ccsmod6 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,

            Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. We are sorry your mother said horrible things to you. You are very strong for making what you thought was the best option for you and your daughter. You seem very optimistic about the future which is great to hear. Thank you for showing support to the youth who reach out to us! If you ever need any resources feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We wish you the best of luck with everything.

        • #15
          I’m 13 an I live with my mother and older sister. I have medical conditions and don’t feel safe. Mom yells at me for things that aren’t my fault. She spanks me, ONLY me, and pulls my hair. My sister yells at me for being scared of bugs and going slow even though I have my backpack on which weighs like 50 pounds. I am always scared and depressed. What should I do? I have already contacted cps.

          Comment


          • ccsmod7
            ccsmod7 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello,

            Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re in a really scary situation at home and that can definitely be a lot to deal with on your own. It sounds like you are going through so much right now with your mom and it is totally unacceptable for her to hit you and yell at you. You don’t deserve to be treated that way by anyone, especially by your mom. We’re going to try and do everything we can to help you out.

            You mentioned that you had already contacted Child Protective Services. Filing an abuse report is definitely something that can help and if you haven’t already then you could contact the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1800-422-4453 and they could walk you through how to file one or any other options that you could choose, you could also visit their website at childhelp.org for information on what they do and how they could help.

            Since you mentioned that you did not feel safe at home, would there be any family like your father or grandparents that you could contact to tell them about what you’re going through and possibly stay with them. Having somebody to talk about what you’re going through with could also really help, like your school counselor or a trusted teacher.
            Remember, if you ever feel that your safety is really in danger then always call the police at 911.

            Again, we know how difficult it is to reach out and you’re really brave to ask for help. We also have a database here full of resources and shelters where you might be able to stay to be safe. There are more options for you in terms of getting services if you decide to stay at home too. Please feel free to call us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If you aren’t able to call, please feel free to chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Time.

            Regards,

            NRS
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