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I Don't Feel Safe or Loved at Home Anymore

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  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a really tough situation for the past few years. It takes a lot of strength both to bring yourself through that and to ask for help now. Home should be a caring, protective environment, and you are right to seek both emotional support and physical safety. That’s great that you have found supportive people in your girlfriend and a safe place with your girlfriend’s family.
    We’re not legal experts, but we can speak generally about laws around minors leaving home. When you are close to being 18, it depends what actions your legal guardian and the police want to take. Your mom could still report you as a runaway to the police, but the police might not come looking for you. Or, if you feel safer with your girlfriend’s family, the police may decide not to take you back to your mom’s. It is also possibly that the police could charge your girlfriend’s family with harboring a runaway. This is something you could discuss with your local police station, and we are happy to help you make that phone call.
    Thank you again for reaching out to us. If you would like to explore these or other options, feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or to contact us by chat. We’re here 24/7 to listen and to help.

    All the best,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Back story I’m 17 years old and when I was 13 my mom was dating a sex offender and when the court found out he was living with us my 2 brothers and I were taken away and sent to live with my younger brothers dad while my mom went to counseling. During that year away from my mom I was molested by my younger brothers uncle, I told my caretaker but they said to keep my mouth shut. Eventually we went back to my mom, I told her 6 months later, she told the police but the guy never got charged. My mom made me move to Florida with her and left my 2 brothers. While in Florida I was constantly moving from house to house, sometimes with my mom sometimes without her. I’ve lived in 23 houses in 3 years, during that time my mom went to jail twice for domestic battery. Then I found out my oldest brother was murdered. 6 months later my mom went to jail for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. My dad came to get me after living by myself for a week and drug users trying to break in. While living with my dad I was treated like a roommate, paying electric and phone bills, buying my own food, and paying rent. I stayed in the laundry room that only had room to fit my mattress. I was being verbally abused, and my mom got out and flew me back to my hometown. There we lived with my grandpa, who abused pills and alcohol. I started dating someone who’s family took care of me and made sure I was feed. They took me in when my mom kicked me out. After 2 months my mom wanted me back. I found out she was doing meth, having people in and out of my grandpa’s house constantly, and my grandpa was sick. The people she had over stole my ssc, my debt card,and my brothers 300 dollar watch. Then my uncle passed, a week later my grandpa passed. Then she was having triple the amount of felons over. If it wasn’t for my girlfriend and her family I wouldn’t get the chance to eat. After being told my mom might be hiding a fugitive, I asked to to go to my girlfriends, she said yes. And I’ve been gone for over a week. My mom hadn’t texted me until I ask for my insurance card. She told me she didn’t know me, then told me to come home. I told her I don’t feel safe there and she said she doesn’t care. She hasn’t texted me since and I haven’t went back. She’s constantly paranoid that the FBI is watching her and the house so I don’t think she’ll call the police. But i don’t know what to do. I looked into emancipation but it takes at least 6 months and my birthday is in 6 months.

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  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

    If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.


    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I don't feel safe around my mother and I don't know if I should call DHS and if I do how fast it would take them to come get me cause I need help now I need to get from away from her what should I do my mother is unfit help me please before I run away
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 12-03-2019, 03:57 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are having a rough time right now. I'm glad you have something like your video games that you can do to take your mind off of everything that you are experiencing. You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

    If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

    You also mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

    Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
    Take care,
    Last edited by ccsmod3; 12-02-2019, 03:02 AM.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello I am 12, I feel like my parents and my siblings hate me and don’t care about me my dad and mom hit me whenever I back talk they yell at me over little things ground me for months from seeing my friends and playing video games and those 2 seem to be my only happiness my dad wouldn’t only rarely beat me but he still does my mother always screaming threatening me and they took it too far and put me into army cadets which I hate I am slightly depressed but it’s only getting worse when I said I didn’t want to go to cadets my parents said I don’t have a choice and I said I did and then I said I know my rights and my dad took it another step too far then I told my mother about it thinking she would do something but all she did was take my dads side and yell at me I would call the cops but my dad is the main provider for the family he puts food on the table and pays the bills and everything I think I could run away to one of my aunts but I feel like they would just rat me out so I have no idea what to do and I do not feel safe at all in my own house. Please help me

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you are living in an environment where you cannot express who you are safely or comfortably. All people deserve love regardless of their gender or sexual identity and you are no exception. While it is great that your friends are so supportive of you and have your back, unfortunately your parents/guardians have the legal right and responsibility to choose where you live. While it is not illegal for you to disobey that and leave, your parents can file a runaway report which would allow the police to return you home if they found you. Additionally, your parents could potentially press charges against whomever you were staying with for harboring a runaway. While we’re not legal experts, this is typically considered a misdemeanor offense.

    It might be worth it to look for some adult advocacy or support. If there is a gay-straight alliance at school, it could be worth reaching out to them for ideas on how to approach the situation and to make you aware of how they can help you. Additionally, you might want to reach out to some national LGBT resources. The Trevor Project (thetrevorproject.org and 1-866-488-7386), the LGBT National Hotline (glbthotline.org or 1-888-843-4564), and the LGBT National Youth Talkline (1-800-246-7743) are all great resources that can put you in touch with someone who has gone through a similar experience to yours and might know how to navigate it effectively.

    You mentioned not being able to reach out over the phone, while we are happy to help through our message boards or through chat (1800runaway.org), it might be a good idea, if possible, to see if you could maybe call us or any of these resources from school or a friend’s phone. We would be happy to discuss your situation further and figure out what other options you might have. So, if possible, please call us at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 14 and I'm gay. I feel really uncomfortable in my house because my dad is really homophobic. My mom isn't as homophobic but she thinks it's a joke. My dad has says homophobic slurs all the time and I'm mostly uncomfortable but I also slightly feel unsafe. I have talked with my friends about it and I am thinking about living with them if things continue to get worse. The thing is, tonight I was talking with my friend (on a call) in my room about how I was talking to a guy and my dad kept saying over and over again, "I can hear everything you say". I'm not sure about my grandparent but she works a lot and she might be moving to Florida while her mom recovers from surgery. My father's side of the family is really homophobic. I'm not sure what the legal things are about choosing to live with your friend but I am really concerned and confused on what to do. I also don't want to call the hotline because my dad would hear me. Again, I'm 14.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you are not safe at home. No one has the right to abuse you and to use a tazer on you. You do not deserve to be treated this way. You deserve to be safe and protected.
    There are some things you can do right now to be safe. You can tell a teacher or counselor at school, and they will begin the process of helping you to be safe. You can also walk yourself in to a Fire Station where the firemen and women will take you in and also begin the process of helping you. And if you have a cell phone that you either have or can borrow, you can contact www.nationalsafeplace.org They have a TXT 4 Help where you can chat with a local person to help you. And anytime that you are in danger from them, you can always call 911.
    We are also here for you to help you to be safe. We would discuss some of the ideas listed above and help you to make a plan that you are comfortable with. You can also call us at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) or you can reach us via chat through www.1800runaway.org
    You deserve our help. You deserve the help of any and all the people I mentioned. We hope this helps to get you started on being safe from the people who are hurting you. That is what you deserve.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Sincerely, NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I'm am 12 and a 1/2 and I don't feel safe with my parents because they abuse me and throw things they grab a tazer and tried to taze me and my mom said she was going to kick me out so I could live on my own !

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline.

    You are so brave for writing on here. It sounds like you have gone through so much in such a short period of time. You do not deserve to be treated the way you are being treated. You mention previously wanting to end your life and hoping your life would end. We take your safety very seriously. If you are having these thoughts you can reach out to The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can contact them at 1800-273-8255. They can provide you support and help you with what you are going through.You are not alone in how you are feeling.

    Being hit is not okay and neither is the way you are being spoken to. These are also very concerning things happening to you. Child Help might be a great resource to reach out to with everything that is going on regarding those two issues. Their number is 1800-422-4453. They can answer any questions you have regarding the abuse and provide additional resources for you.

    Self injury was something else that you brought up. Your safety is our first priority as we mentioned earlier. We are sorry that you have felt the need to do that with everything going on. We understand that this can be a stressful and confusing time for you. NAMI is is a great resource regarding mental health. They can provide assistance in finding some local resources for you and can lend a listening ear. You can reach them at 1800-950-NAMI or text NAMI to 741741.

    Being emancipated can be a tricky process and there are quite a few qualifications. We can explore this option further as well as talk about anything else you have mentioned if you would like to contact us further. You can reach out to us via our hotline at 1800-786-2929 our our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We are available 24/7 and are confidential. We are here for you during this rough time.

    Stay safe!
    National Runaway Safeline

  • ccsmod15
    replied
    Hello,
    Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline.

    You are so brave for writing on here. It sounds like you have gone through so much in such a short period of time. You do not deserve to be treated the way you are being treated. You mention previously wanting to end your life and hoping your life would end. We take your safety very seriously. If you are having these thoughts you can reach out to The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can contact them at 1800-273-8255. They can provide you support and help you with what you are going through.You are not alone in how you are feeling.

    Being hit is not okay and neither is the way you are being spoken to. These are also very concerning things happening to you. Child Help might be a great resource to reach out to with everything that is going on regarding those two issues. Their number is 1800-422-4453. They can answer any questions you have regarding the abuse and provide additional resources for you.

    Self injury was something else that you brought up. Your safety is our first priority as we mentioned earlier. We are sorry that you have felt the need to do that with everything going on. We understand that this can be a stressful and confusing time for you. NAMI is is a great resource regarding mental health. They can provide assistance in finding some local resources for you and can lend a listening ear. You can reach them at 1800-950-NAMI or text NAMI to 741741.

    Being emancipated can be a tricky process and there are quite a few qualifications. We can explore this option further as well as talk about anything else you have mentioned if you would like to contact us further. You can reach out to us via our hotline at 1800-786-2929 our our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We are available 24/7 and are confidential. We are here for you during this rough time.

    Stay safe!
    National Runaway Safeline
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 11-09-2019, 10:12 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I'm Mystik I don't feel safe or loved at home anymore and I want to explain why this may be a lot to read but I ask of you to please take the time and just hear me out. I'm 16 and I live in MA in a not so nice area my birth mother had problems with drugs alcohol and smoking when I was just a baby she neglected me and I was taken into foster care by DCF as just a baby my father lost his rights to me and I never saw him again I hardly remember him anymore my great grandma adopted me when I was 3 years old being my care taker naturally I called her mom and life was great at first I thought she loved me but the events that soon took place changed my mind here's why we moved alot having a very strict budget and rent kept going up so soon we couldn't afford it at 9 years old I was sent to a residential school called at first it was great I had friends attended events and games I was happy but later on the bullying started and got worse kids were telling me to kill myself that nobody wanted me and my mother and father abandoned me cause I was a mistake I became suicidal and honestly wanted to end my life I was miserable I tried getting help from the adults but nobody did anything everytime my mom called I begged her for help to get me out of there and she would just say i don't want to deal with your drama you can handle it and she would hang up I was shocked and scared I had no idea what to do I later found out she sent me there cause she couldn't care for me but that wasn't the only bad part as soon as I went home after graduating the fights began I hated my mom for abandoning me like that there would be arguing screaming she would swear at me and call me really rude things like miserable little ********** or a selfish rat and it really hurt me I started to lose respect for my mom I began cutting and because of that I got therapy but I stopped going to school I felt emotionally and mentally broken I started to stress eat hardly sleep and barely managed to get up because I was so weak and sick the problems at home and the way my family was treating me made it difficult to concentrate in school my grades were dropping I was failing and my mother was furious with me called me a coward and a lowlife who can't do anything she started to compare me to my mother and that's when the worst of it began my grandpa her son also lived with us and everytime me and my mom fought instead of taking my side or anybody helping me he would hit me he called me things like attention whore and cunt and then one time he even tried to choke me mom said he didn't but I remember it was horrible I could hardly breathe trying to get his arm off my neck DCF got involved again but I couldn't speak up and tell them everything going on and eventually their case was shut the only case left open was the court case about my school situation I'm home alot and honestly I'm afraid that someday they are gonna throw me out or try to hurt me more mom has said multiple times that she has regretted adopting me or doing anything for me she pins everything she does on me her actions her yelling everything is my fault she makes herself seem like the victim I want to be emancipated or something I recently started talking to my birth father and I wish I could stay with him but my mom never lets me she hardly knows him but says he is a horrible person but he is the total opposite I want to run away cause a lot of the time recently mom has been saying things quietly but I can still hear them like "I wish I could kill that miserable **********" and it scares me so badly honestly I don't know what to do I also feel like if I left and something bad happened to them or I told somebody and they got arrested or something I would feel extremely bad and blame myself for eternity I wish I could do something anything to make this horrible life end nobody listens to me or understands me nobody believes me or thinks I could take care of myself if I become emancipated also because I'm 16 I can't leave the house whenever I want to so I'm stuck in basically a hell I hate all of this but I can't do anything about it I want help but I don't know what else I can do I feel trapped or like I'm in a prison what should I do

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  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Oh wow. I came here to ask

    Hello,
    Thanks for contacting the national Runaway Safeline.

    We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. Your bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/ or 1-888-843-4564.

    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

    1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).

    Take care,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Oh wow. I came here to ask if I should run away but now I just feel like a spoilt brat. Ok. I am a trans ftm boy. I am 13 and I have not come out. I also might be bi/pan. My grandma once said that transgenders are just looking for attention from the media. Once they caught me binding with bras but they were too thick to realise. The rest of my family is super stuck up and freaked out when my brother used gel in his hair. I don't know how they will react, but I know they won't accept it. I am too much of a coward to tell them anything. It is a struggle for me to tell them when I am ill, and I have already got my period. I haven't told them but have had it for 3 months, nearly 4. If I can't tell them about something that happens to every (sex not gender) girl, how can I tell them about something that is such a minority?

    Leave a comment:

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