I Don't Feel Safe or Loved at Home Anymore

[Guest]

im 14 im a pretty good kid and i mostly do good in school i do what my parents say but they always feel the need to yell at me because of every little mistake i make, i don't understand it and it makes me feel horrible ill cry for hours while they "whisper" bad things about me and talk about how horrible i am right next to my room and it gets to my head. i don't want to be here anymore this has gone on for years and at this point my self confidence is nonexistent and im mentally drained. im so sick and tired of being in such a negative space all the time even when i think I can escape it im just reminded it will always follow me around. if i don't answer a text or call within 2 minutes or so I get yelled at. if i forget to clean the bathroom i get yelled at. if i leave a dish in my room i get yelled at. if i don't wake up at a certain time i get yelled at. if i clean i get yelled at for not doing it right. im tired. i can't be here anymore. no matter what i do and how hard I try it isn't good enough. i try to stay away from home alot but it doesn't help because it's only temporary please help me. ive had suicide cross my mind a couple times these past two years. it's just getting worse. i need help and when i ask for it i get called an attention seeker.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear about your situation at home. You don't deserve to be treated that way by your parents. You could try asking your parents if they would allow you to stay with another family member or close friend. Another option that you have is contacting CPS if you don't feel safe at home. You mentioned that you have had suicidal thoughts for the past two years. Talking to someone about how you feel could help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) is a great resource for support. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

[Guest]

I am 12 with a grandmother who has alsimers and an uncle who I'm afraid of as he has gotten physical with me before. I don't feel safe physically mentally or emotionally. Pls help me and give me some ideas in what to do

[ccsmod6]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. One resource that may help you talk through what you are feeling mentally is NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness at 1800-950-NAMI, or text name to 741741. If you are looking to leave your home and are looking for options for shelter we are here to try and help you locate some options.
To talk more about your situation please feel free to call us at 1800-RUNAWAY OR chat with us at 1800runaway.org. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best. We hope to hear from you soon. Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi? I found this forum when googling “I don’t feel safe at home anymore I need someplace to go”. I don’t think many things can help me anymore since I turned 18 a few weeks ago. I was supposed to move into my college dorm today but decided to do online college classes instead so I could stay home and work to earn money to pay off school. But being at home means another year stuck with toxic parents in a suffocating house. Ever since I was 12, “my home” became just a house I live in and “my parents” became Mother and Father - not “my mom” or “my dad”. I learned that I had depression and suicidal tendencies but thought it’d get better over the years. They never did. I told Mother I wanted to kill myself and she just went off on what a disappointment I was and laughed. They always yell at me for things that aren’t my fault or take their anger out by going off on me because they had a bad day at work. It’s like no matter what I do, they’ll always yell at me and tell me how stupid I am or what a disappointment I am. Even after being anorexic for two years, they still call me fat and barely provide any food for me to eat. Talking to them only makes things worse. Locking my door to my room makes things worse - they just break in and go through my stuff because I’ve never had privacy. Mother would go through my laundry and trash can and bathroom trash trying to find who knows what. I tried moving out to a friends house but they only went off on me more. They even got a neighbor to come say how toxic my friends are for influencing me to leave the house and that I was being forced to leave by peer pressure when “family” was the only toxic thing in my life. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to go back to that house.

[ccsmod3]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us! It takes a strong person to tell their story and ask for help. You do not deserve to be treated like that by your parents. Verbal/emotional abuse is never justified.

You mentioned that you are 18 years old now. You are correct in that that means you can no longer file an abuse report to get Child Protective Services involved. However, that also means that you can legally live somewhere else without your parents permission. You said that you've tried staying with a friend before. If that is still an option for you, your parents cannot file a runaway report or force you to come back home to them. If you call our hotline, we are able to help you find shelters/transitional living programs to stay in.

It sounds like you are having a difficult time with your mental health. If you need someone to talk to about anything, calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) can be helpful. NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association) can also be a useful resource for you to call (1-800-931-2237).
Thank you again for contacting NRS. It can be difficult to reach out, but you're doing the right thing. If you need anything else, do not hesitate to call us. We are 24/7 and confidential.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

My mother hits me and yells at me. She always claims I'm doing things I do not do, and lies about me, and lies to me. She hits me hard, usually on my face. I cant remember her ever spanking me, but just today she hit me over the head, which slammed my head into a cabinet, causing it to be in pain since. I feel as if she favors my two siblings over me, and whenever I try to join in when they are doing something, I am shoved away. I was diagnosed with depression when I was ten, and my mom would tell me that I can control my feelings, so I need to stop.
My siblings would always abuse me, verbally. They would also gang up on me, and one time, my father brought home a baby snake he rescued. Me and him were the only ones to care for her, and I loved her. Eventually, my sibling wanted it out, and my sister ended up killing it a year later. Might not sound to bad, but purposely? I was heartbroken. My, just the other nigh, kept me up at night banging on the walls, and when I told him to stop, he attacked me. I own a new snake now, a beautiful Blood Python, and my mom hates him. She tells me that she wants to take a hammer, destroy all my stuff, and kill him. When I was younger, she would constantly hit me, and I can even predict it now. I remember my worst wound was when I was maybe 10, she grabbed a small plastic basket and whipped me in the face. I had a massive, noticeable gash across my nose. I knew it was from her, but I never told anyone. I would always say my house was haunted. I try to have friends over, to help me feel better, but when I did that, my brother would chase them out.
I do pretty good in school, as this year I'm going into 8th grade, but over the years, I have gotten progressively worse at math. I have Fs in it now, and my mother hates me for it. I have thought about, after high school, just leaving, and that is my plan, though after today, I fear I cant even make it to then. I am already planning an escape, just for a few days. I might take the train up to me half sisters, and stay with her, or, I have always made sure I can survive on my own.
I do fear though, that leaving my snake with have horrid consequences. I fear that she would get rid of him, and now I fear my mother when she called me, and I get anxious when she comes up to me, or I hear her coming up the stairs. I desperately want to be somewhere else, to live away from her, but I have a cat and a snake, who which I do not wish to lose.

[ccsmod3]

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out, we know that is not always an easy thing to do, but it shows that you are really mature and responsible. It sounds like you have been living in a very stressful and scary situation for a while now, and it makes sense that you want to get away from it. No one deserves to be hit or treated the way that you have been, especially by a parent. It sounds like it would be difficult to not be able to have friends over and feel like your siblings and mother are going to hurt you or things that matter to you.

One option that you have is that you could file an abuse report. We can do this for you if you call us and tell us your name and some other identifying information. As we are not legal experts we cannot guarantee that this would work out perfectly, but since your mother is hitting you it is an option that you might want to consider. Feel free to call us at any time if you have any questions about how this process works or even just want someone to talk to. You could also try reaching out to Child Help, the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 for any more information you might want. If you get along with your father, you could try talking to him about how you have been feeling and try to figure out ways to make your life at home better. If you want more information about the legality of running away, you can feel free to call us or chat with us through our website and we would be more than happy to help you with that.

Again, thank you for reaching out, and we want you to know that your life is valuable. It is so great that you are thinking through your options and using the resources available to you, it really shows that you are looking out for yourself.

Best of Luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 11 years old and I gotten abused for my whole life I have 3 other sister's and they treat me like a slave and a maid plz help me

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I'm 11 years old....

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Well done. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey but i dont feel safe at home my family doesnt even notice they dont ask me if im okay they all hate me and my friend said her family will take me in what should i do i just dont want to live in my house anymore im scared of my grandma all the time just wanted to let you know.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there, thanks so much for posting here!
It shows a lot of strength to reach out. Without knowing your age, providing you options is a bit difficult. But we are here to help.

We are not legal experts, however, 18 is usually the age you can leave without parent's permission. However, if you are unsafe at home, you always have the right to file an abuse report. Child Help (1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org) can help better define abuse and neglect and can be a first step in filing a report if you want to. We can also conference call and help make that report with you because we understand that can be scary and difficult. We are anonymous and confidential so we dont share what you tell us. However, we are mandated reporters which means if you give us additional identifying info (besides your name), we would have to file an abuse report. That is always up to you though! Additional info that would make a report mandated is your address, phone number, grandma's name, school, things like that. We can definitely file a report if you'd like. Call or email us anytime!

You mentioned your friend is supportive, We are glad to hear that. Perhaps their parents can help you file a report or safety plan too. School teachers and counselors may also be helpful. however, if you tell them about abuse, they do have to report it. We are here 24/7 and you can call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or live chat through our website when it is available.

You have been really brave today! We are always here to support you.
Call or chat anytime for more support and options!

[Guest]

I need help I don't know how to open up I am scared to open up please help me

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to NRS!

We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. It’s brave of you to reach out during your time of need. We have a database of resources and if you’re able to call in, we can try to brainstorm with you and get a better idea of your situation. If you are thinking about running away and somewhere to stay, we can try to find a runaway shelter for you. Unfortunately, we are non-directive at NRS, and can't give out advice, but we're always here to talk and listen.

Our safeline is open 24/7. We also have a chatting service via our website, unfortunately, it is not always open. The best way to contact us would be to call in and talk with our trained liners.

Be well, NRS

[Guest]

im 16 and aa half and am being emotionally abused and no one believes me they all say that im over exaggerating here is exactly whats going on

1. My dad is almost constantly saying rude things to me
2. They make fun of me alot, and my dad always talks down to me
3. My dad has threatened to “put me into the ground” on 5 different accounts
4. My mom never lets me talk to anybody and everytime my mom meets one of my new friends my mom says that i'm not allowed to hang out with them anymore i'm not allowed to text my friends or out of state family, and im only allowed to talk to 2 other people, my mom never lets me go over to friends houses.im basically not allowed to come into contact with the outside world.
5. My dad calls me names at least 4 times every day
6. My dad always talks negatively about me to everyone else when he knows i'm in earshot
7. everything i do ruins their plans or thier day, morning, or evening
8. They constantly tell me about how i messed up my brothers whole life
9. My dad is violent to literally everyone and everything that does something even remotely wrong he throughs my brother around like a balled up piece of paper throws the dogs around like nothing and always hits with full force and never thinks twice when it comes to hitting us. He is always yelling at me or my brother he is always disappointed in me and if i've been meetings his standards for a couple days (like chores) he increases his expectation by a lot
10. They have removed the door from my bedroom and always have to know what im doing how i'm doing and when i'm doing it.
11. He is always calling me a liar and whenever i try to say what happened it always went a different way but according to my dad i have never once said anything that wasn’t exaggerated.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us! Nobody deserves to be treated in a way that makes them feel unsafe or belittled in their own home. It takes a lot of strength to rise out of the pressures and punishments of other people, especially when it feels like they are not justified. If you are experiencing abuse, a resource that might be helpful is childhelp.org, also reachable at 1 800 422 4453. They can tell you what your options might be and what pursuing them might look like.

If you would like to talk more about your situation and how we might help, we can best do this by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance.
Please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

[Guest]

I don’t feel safe at home or loved my house they tell me I am a idiot I’m worthless and I am a ******** up and my step parents scares me she pulled a gun on my dad and doesn’t want me at home I am told I will never learn and my mom is always yelling at me and she smokes pot and she doesn’t think I know and I just want to move they put me in a youth home for a week and I think it’s just to get away from me

[ccsmod5]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stress at home, and we want to try to help as much as possible.
Your safety is always our #1 concern- if you ever feel unsafe, you have the right to remove yourself from that situation and call the authorities. Violence is never ok, even if the abuse isn’t directed at you. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) is a great resource to help with any domestic abuse happening in the house. Abuse comes in many different forms, and that can lead to some confusion on what is considered abuse. We can tell you that hostile name calling is not ok- and you do not deserve to be verbally attacked. One resource that can help is Child Help. They are the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-522-4453) and are trained to help cases of abuse. You can also give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY to discuss your situation in more detail.
Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I don't feel safe at home and my mom is threatening to call the cops if I go to a friend's house to stay the night because I feel safer here than at home

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It seems like there must be a lot going on in your life, especially at home, if you’re thinking about leaving home. It’s great that you were able to find out some information about our hotline. Hopefully we can help.

As a minor (under the age of majority), you aren't able to leave home without your parents’ permission. We aren’t legal experts, but what generally what typically happens if a minor runs away, is that your parents would be able to make a runaway report. You can’t be arrested for running away in some cases we’ve heard of police not taking runaway reports on youth who are close to turning 18. A good way to find out exactly what the police protocols are in your city, would be to reach out to your local non-emergency police. You can ask them hypothetical questions about running away.

If you give us a call on our 24/7 fully confidential hotline, at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help answer some of those questions you have and could potentially help you brainstorm a solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available through our website (www.1800runaway.org) if you don’t feel like calling in to talk on the phone.

Best, NRS

[Guest]

Hi I'm 14 years old and ever since i can remember my dad and i have always yelled at each other but lately its gotten worse. I know feel as though he is going to hit me whenever we are near each other and hes been calling me names cussing at me yelling at me., and i don't want to stay in a house with him anymore.

[ccsmod6]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your dad is treating you so insensitively. No one deserves to feel like they are being attacked, verbally or otherwise, in their own home. If you feel like the way your dad is interacting with you might be abuse, you can always contact the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. Contacting would not mean you would have to file a report. They would be able to answer questions about your situation and about the reporting process. We would like to offer you as much help as possible. If you are interested on expanding on your situation and finding out what else we can offer you, please contact us at our 24/7 hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

[Guest]

hi I’m 18 years old almost 19 years old I don't feel right living with my dad anymore he always treats me badly and always getting in my way I want to move out but I can't I have to finish my online school my plan was to move out of state but my brother told me I can't till I finish school because I’m going to live with him once I’m done nobody will listen to me all they say is focus on school and do school but I can't without my dad not being able to pay for bills or internet I always have to ask my family to I just want to be out of my house but nobody will listen my dad treats me horrible and I’m sick of it and he tells the family it’s my fault when it’s really his and makes me looks bad he always fights with me and then give me lectures about it it’s an endless cycle that just keeps happening he fights then after he gives me a lecture he does this everyday I was thinking about slitting my wrist and ending it just to get away I want to get out of here I really do.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Hi i'm 18 years old almost 19 years old

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
We are sorry that things are not going well between you and your mom. That must be pretty hard for you. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change.

Your safety and well-being is important.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

Sometimes communication breaks down with someone you are close to making it difficult to know just where to turn. It sounds like this is what you have been experiencing with your dad. We understand that the situation has become frustrating for you. You did well reaching out today. We would like you to know NRS is here to listen and here to help. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. For example you might consider going to a library so that you can use their internet to get your studies done.
You know your dad best. Try to recognize what triggers his outbursts and then if possible try to avoid them. It helps if you can find an outlet or a way to defuse the situation.

If you would like to talk more about your situation and go over some options, please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

Be safe and stay strong,
NRS


We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

I feel like my father is going insane. I have been very sick all week and got everyone around me sick because my dad is forcing me to go to school and every time I ask if I can stay home (my throat feels like it's closing and there's red blotches all over the back of my mouth leading into my throat and I've almost thrown up multiple times at school this week and have been having severe headaches), he flips out and breaks my things and calls me worthless and that I need to hurry up and die. This time I actually couldn't physically bare to go to school consider I've only gotten worse and I felt like I was going to pass out. He hurt me and wouldn't stop until I ran to my room and he took all my things and claimed that he was going to smash my 2000 dollar laptop and slammed it on something down stairs I've been hiding in my closet and I'm using my old iPad to type because if I go down then he'll hurt me again. I don't know who to go to and my mom doesn't do anything about it

[ccsmod16]

Hello, 

Thanks for reaching out NRS. From what you have shared it sounds like you are in a very stressful situation. We are sorry to hear you have been sick and you are not getting the care you need. No one deserves to feel threatened or unwanted by a parent. If you ever feel like you are in danger you can call 911 for emergency services. 

If you have been attending school, you could talk to a school nurse. They may be able to give you some care while you are at school and possibly call your parent to let them know you are too sick to come to school. Teachers and guidance counselors can also be good support systems. They are mandated reporters so if you tell them about what has been going on at home they are legally obligated to file an abuse report. If you wanted to know more about an abuse report or do not feel comfortable talking to someone at school, you can call the national child abuse hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or go to their website at childhelp.org. You can always call NRS at 1-800-786-2929 if you wanted to talk or explore options. Family members outside of the home may also be helpful as a support system and to help you get medical care. 

Reaching out for help is a really brave first step. We are here 24/7 to listen and support you anyway we can. Please call or chat with us online if you would like to talk more or explore other options.