I Don't Feel Safe or Loved at Home Anymore

[Guest]

I am 15 and my brothers are always treated better than me. The feeling of isolation and loneliness continous to be an integral part of how i feel. Today my parnets told me to clean the bathroom and I misunderstood which one. When the noticed I cleaned the wrong one they were infuriated. My dad told me I should KMS and that I don't deserve to live. They said nothing to my brother. Everytime I make a minor error they are always on my back about it. I always get cussed at and anytime I tell my mom something personal she throws it at my face. During any family thing I hid out in my room because I feel like a black sheep. My mom calls me fat sometimes, even though I am actually quite skinny and my dad is always angry at me. Apparently I talk a lot for a girl and he insults me about it all the time. I don't know what to do about it... I mean I just wish they would listen to me instead of yelling, and I wish they would understand me.

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like your family says incredibly hurtful things to you that are making you feel out of place at home. That is so not okay that your dad told you to kill yourself for cleaning the wrong bathroom, and that you are always getting cussed at and being belittled. You should be supported rather than constantly put down like that in your own home. Here at NRS, we truly want to help.

That kind of verbal abuse must be really taking a toll on you. You mentioned feeling isolated, lonely, and like the black sheep at home. Please know that you can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at www.1800runaway.org if you ever feel like you need some support or someone to talk to. We want to be there for you during this difficult time. If you call or chat us we can also look for local resources such as counseling services or youth shelters if you are interested in those services. You should not have to go through this alone.

You do have the right to report emotional abuse to child protective services. If they found the abuse highly dangerous you would be removed from the home, and if it is not found to be highly dangerous you could receive other case management or family counseling services. With emotional abuse, it can be hard to prove that it is dangerous enough to remove you, but it helps if you have any evidence or witnesses of the abuse. To learn more about your reporting options you might reach out to Child Help 1-800-422-4453.

As far as your dad saying that you talk a lot for a girl, that is really not okay and sexist. It's also not okay that your mom calls you fat just to hurt you. You are perfect the way you are and you do not need to talk less or lose any weight or any of that. You seem like an incredibly bright, independent girl. You should know that despite your parent's hurtful words and actions, in no way are you lesser than your brothers. You are you, and that is enough.

We truly wish you the best and we hope to hear from you soon.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

Im 14, and i dont feel happy at home. Im scared of my dad because he would hit me and yell at me every since i was a little child. Living with my dad, and his girlfriend, his girlfriend child, and my half sister....im the middle child who has a serious problem with their bladder. I mean yeah, i get in trouble for stupid stuff. I have SAD (Suicidal Anxiety Depression) and I've tried to kill myself. And like once my little sister, she's six, she was throwing metal nails on my floor, which was where i was sleeping at the time, i asked her why she was doing that, she said because she wanted me to die, and leave her and her big sister alone. I cried that night. I want to leave this family. The outer family around us is just a mess itself. I've done already lost so many people. I just wanna leave. Go to a foster home. Or something. I have friends. And a wonderful boyfriend. But if i don't leave this house....i will have to die.....

[ccsmod10]

Hello,

It sounds like you have been dealing with an incredibly difficult situation at home and it makes sense that you are hurting. Your life is very meaningful, and it is amazing that you have friends and a boyfriend who can support you through this hard time.

If you ever do feel suicidal, please do not hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, they are a great resource. It sounds like things are pretty bad at home with your dad and his girlfriend and your siblings. It is very understandable that the way they have been treating you makes you feel really badly, but no one deserves to be treated the way that you are being treated. One option that you have is filing a child abuse report against your father since he has hit you. We are not legal experts, and we cannot guarantee that this process will have the outcome that you hope for, but Child Protective Services might be able to help get you out of your situation. You could either give us a call and we can help you report the abuse or you could talk to a school counselor or teacher who are mandated reporters of abuse. It is important that you have some way of taking care of yourself and it seems like you have friends who support you, which is really amazing.

Thank you for reaching out to us, we know it is not always easy to ask for help but it shows that you are very mature and resourceful. If you want to talk to us about other options, have questions, or just want to talk, feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24/7 every day of the year and would he happy to talk to you further.

Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I am not feeling safe at home at all. I struggle with anxiety and depression and it only occurs at home. I feel no support. I want to stay at my work all day. My mom is threatening to send me away to an inpatient hospital even though I am a FUNCTIONING ADULT.

[ccsmod6]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out to us at NRS. Sorry to hear that you’re not feeling safe and supported at home. You mentioned being an adult; the age of majority in most states is 18, although some states the age is up to 21. If you are able to legally live on your own and are looking for alternate options for living, HUD.gov might be able to assist with finding housing. We also have a database of shelters and transitional living centers that we can help connect you to if you’d like to give us a call (800) 786-2929. We are available 24/7, completely confidential, and here to listen to what’s going on and explore options together.
Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I don’t feel that safe either. My situation feels better than you guys though, so good luck, really.

My mother is insane. She doesn’t want help. She laughs to herself everyday, screamed for hours and hours, ripped off all the photos and paintings, breaks things, extremely racist, jobless, can’t hold down a job, etc. I actually can feel slightly comfortable sometimes. When I’m out of it, which is all the time, I don’t feel like she’ll kill me.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for your response to another user’s post. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat for immediate services.
Thank you,

[Guest]

I am 16 and i currently live in Oregon. i was a foster child majority of my life and i live with my aunt who was my legal foster parent, she has just recently been granted guardianship of my younger siblings and i. i want to leave her house and move in with my friend once she gets into her new apartment. my friend is a safe person to be around as are her roommates. My home life degrading to my mental health. I'm not being abused but being home makes me feel worthless, i'm constantly being humiliated and criticized when i don't do anything bad, such as drugs or drink or go around and have sex like i'm still a virgin so i have no idea why they have no trust in me. My aunt just recently found out she has heart problems and she told me i stress her out so much that it will be my fault when she dies and that i will be the one to kill her. she proceeds to say awful things to me like shes said on multiple occasions that i wont miss her when she dies or that i don't care about anyone other than myself. she tells me that anything i do is some sort of mental illness. an example of what i'm talking about is that last night i had my room all nice and clean and she comes in and pulls everything out and completely demolishes my room and then tells me that this is my fault and that all the stuff SHE threw on my floor is my way of disrespecting her and that because of the mess in my room i am an ungrateful child and that her kids would have never done anything like this. She also said to me that if my dad hadn't texted to take me for the weekend that she would have called him to take me because she didn't want to be around me. i'm so conflicted right now. i can try and stay and put up with this crap or i could stay with a friend (or where i'm at) until my other friend gets into her new apartment and move in with her and her other roommates at least until i finish the rest of the semester then go move in with my Father. any ideas on what would be my best option?

[ccsmod16]

Hello, thank you for reaching out to NRS. We know you said you aren’t being abused, but it sounds like the way your aunt speaks to you and criticizes you could be considered emotional abuse. We are not experts on the matter and only you can say if you feel like it is abusive, but we want you to know you have options and you do not in any way deserve to be treated the way you are being treated by your aunt. Child Help (childhelp.org, 1-800-422-4453) is the national child abuse hotline and they can help you file an abuse report if you want, get custody transferred to another family member or adult in your life and answer a lot of questions about abuse and your situation specifically.
Running away is not a crime, but an adult (18 or older in most states) allowing you to stay with them is a crime and could be charged with harboring a runaway. If you leave without parental permission, your aunt could file a runaway report with the police. This means if the police find you, they will usually try to send you back home. If you tell them about the abuse, however, they are required to contact child protective services, who will likely open an investigation to see if it is safe for you to live there or not.
We know you said your mental health has been impacted as well. That is understandable and we want you to take care of yourself. To Write Love on Her Arms (twloha.org) is a great resource for self-harm; they even have a texting crisis line, and the National Suicide Prevention lifeline has a 24/7 chat service on their website and phone number: 1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You do not need to be suicidal or self-injurious to use these either. They can be of great benefit to talk through coping options.
It is understandable that you do not want to live with your aunt anymore. We want you to be safe. You do have options and you are not alone. Please reach out via phone or live chat when it is open. We are here 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

[Guest]

i have no way of contacting anyone, and was barely able to sneak onto my computer to right this message. I do not feel safe or even remotely loved at all, concidering my mom told me to commit suicide cause she was sick of dealing with me coming to her about my suicidal thoughts. I hate my house and avoid it as much as possible without getting into trouble by "accidentally" missing the bus home and stuff, and since I'm never even aloud to hang out with friends anymore, or leave even when things get abusive, i've in some cases snuck out, and would rather live with a friend or someone. I'm too scared to tell the proper authorities about my current situation, because I'm scared they might send me to a bad family house, because the little family i have left is either abusive, homeless, drug attic, or in most cases alcoholic like my dad. The only other alternitive is foster care but I've hear enough stories and read stuff online and heard from friends who have been in foster care that it is no better, and in some cases, worse than my home. I don't know what to do and I fear suicide might be the only way out of this mess, it just doesn't seem worth it anymore...

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes a great deal of courage to share a bit of what’s going on and to seek help. We are very sorry to hear that you don’t feel safe or loved at home. You don’t deserve to be talked to or treated that way by your mother. It seems like you fear that if you stay home, suicide would be the end result. Your life matters, you are not alone. Talking to someone about those suicidal thoughts may help. In addition to contacting NRS (1-800-786-2929), the National Suicide Prevention Life (1-800-273-8255) www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is a great resource for support. It sounds like you are afraid to report what is going on at home because you fear that you will be placed with a family member that is not fit to take care of you or foster care. You could contact Child Help (1-800-422-4453) www.childhelp.org , for more information about what would happen if you were to report the abuse, you could also get information about transferring custody to an adult that you trust. If you have any other questions, please feel free to contact us directly via our crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat. Please be safe.

[Guest]

I'm 12 and currently am living in California. My mom and sister are the main problem. My mom gets extremely angry all the time and is constantly yelling. Usually at my sister. My sister is terrible herself. She likes to push me around and makes fun of my messed up eye. A lot of the time, My mom ends up physically hurting my sister by hitting her or slamming her into walls. She turns to me if my sister is not there. Despite how bad my sister is, I feel bad for her. I try to get away but mother won't let us leave the house without authorization. I can't stand living here anymore. It's literally driving me insane. I have depression but no one understands. Please help.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry about the way your mother and sister have been treating you. Abuse is never okay, you don’t deserve to be talked to or treated that way by your mother. Talking to someone that you trust such as a school teacher or counselor could help. You could contact Child Help (1-800-422-4453) www.childhelp.org , to report the abuse, you could also get information about transferring custody to another family member. If you have any other questions, please feel free to contact us directly via our crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat. Please be safe.

[Guest]

I am 13 years old and I don’t trust or feel safe around my parents, because my parents they freak out when I get a missing assignment at school. They would yell at me, throw things at me, or even worse get punch on the arm very hard that broke my arm and dislocated my shoulder.
I love technology, i’m a gamer. My parents they never give me privacy at all. They add a software on all of my eletronics to see what I am doing. I had to factory reset all my eletronics to get rid of those software every 3 days I have to factory reset cuz my parents they keep downloading the software all the time. Everyday i can only have my eletronics for ten minutes only, then after those ten minutes my parent they take them away, and I have to nothing to do for the next 12 hours
I had friends that I can hangout with, but my parents said “Your to young to hang out with your friends.” During Halloween I couldn’t go trick or treat because my parents they keep saying “Your to young to go trick or treating. Once your 18 you can go trick or treating.” I can’t watch tv because my dad took away my tv. I don’t have a gaming console because my destroyed it.
During Christmas my parents won’t give me any presents at all , I give them presents, expensive presents which cost from the range of $150 to $300, I wasted all my money just to buy present for my parents on Christmas, my parents they would get mad at me for not giving them the present that they didn’t like, all the money I’ve spent we’re my allowance, and for my college. On my birthday they never give me anything, like money, presents, clothes, NOTHING AT ALL. I need help, because I can’t focus at school at all, my grades are failing right now. I need help please.2

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're here 24/7 to listen and support. It seems like you have been in a really tough situation for quite some time. No one deserves to be treated that way.

It sounds like your parents have been abusive at home. Again, no one deserves to be hit or mistreated. One thing you can consider is filing an abuse report. Child Help is a good resource to look into reporting or to just have someone listen. They can be reached at 1-800-422-4453 or at childhelp.org. Is there an adult or someone else at school that you think can help you with your situation? They could help you in filing a report or just for advice, but you should also know that they would most likely be mandated reporters meaning they would have to report the abuse if you confided in them.

If you want to walk through other options and speak more to your situation we are completely confidential and always here to help. Let us know how we can best help you and we can offer you more resources and support.

Good Luck,
'
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 15yrs and I want to move bc I feel my parents love my older sis most and never want time with just me and I just feel sad and uncomfortable

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, it looks like you emailed us with a similar message. Please see our response via email and call or chat us if you would like to talk in more detail about your situation.

Thanks for contacting us today, we really appreciate it.

-NRS

[Guest]

I’ve been trying too email this website for 5 months now so this seems as if this is the only way to get HELP. I am 17 living in Georgia I ran away from home and started living with my girlfriend my father care down too the house and balled his fist and almost swung at her mother, he called me cops and they said there was nothing they can do about it because I am 3 months away from turning 18. I felt like I was a burden where I was staying so I left with my mother knowing it was going too be the worst mistake of my life, now I regret it but is there anyway I’d get in trouble for going back too my girlfriends after willingly leaving their house with my mother (my girlfriend has my education set up and I left and I don’t think I am even get back into high school so I’m going for my GED) please help me

[ccsmod3]

Hi, thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are going through a rough time. We are here to see how we can help.

You ask if there is any way for you to go back to your girlfriend’s after leaving with your mother. Since you are a minor, leaving home would be running away. This is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This just means that if you are picked up by the police, they will return you home. However, it sounds like the police already came into contact with you when you were living at your girlfriends and said they would not bring you back home since you were almost 18. This happens sometimes with minors about to be adults. If you wanted to be sure, you can call the police non-emergency line and ask what they would do in your situation. It sounds like they would not bring you back home if you went back to your girlfriend’s.

As for you school, you should be able to continue to attend school even through you don’t live with your girlfriend. There is a law called the McKinney-Vento Act that allows youth to attend school no matter who they are living with.
If you want to talk further, the quickest way to reach us is to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are open 24/7 so there is always someone here to talk with you.

-NRS

[Guest]

Hi, im 15 turning 16 in 2 months and I feel unsafe at home. I've gone everywhere to get help and no one, not even the police will get me out of my home. I don't know what to do. My friends don't even feel safe here when they come to help me and I've been cutting since I was 7. I need help so badly and I don't know what else to do. I have a bf who loves me undyingly and has seen the abuse I go through daily. I just need help. I almost committed suicide 6 times this year and I don't want to die but I want out of this horrible home.

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're here 24/7 to listen and to support.

We're so sorry to hear about the abuse that you are going through at home. You mentioned cutting yourself and attempting suicide and we want you to know that you are not alone and your life is valuable. If you ever feel suicidal, don't hesitate to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. They are also there 24/7 to give you the support that you need. You can also visit the website for To Write Love On Her Arms at twloha.com where you might be able to find resources and an online community that can help you cope. We are also here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need us.

No one deserves to feel unsafe at home. You can contact the National Child Abuse Hotline at home to get information about child abuse reporting or just for support. They can be reached at 1-800-422-4453.

Is there anyone at school, a counselor or other adult, that you trust that you think you can turn to for help or to advocate for you with your parents? Or possibly another family member? You can always give us a call and we can try to come up with options with you for who you can try to contact or what you can do. We also have a conference call service here where a liner can help mediate a conversation between you and your parents so yo can feel safe in speaking your feelings. Let us know if that i something you would be interested in.

Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

hi i am 15 and i dont feel safe at my dads house. i get blamed for things i did not do and when that happens my dad and step mom star to scream in my face. Then it gets more physical, I realy need help because i fell like im getting mentaly and physicaly abuse at my dads house. I have been saying that i want to live with my momma again but he said that will never happen, he just says "YOU BETTER GET OUT YOUR HEAD BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GO BACK THERE. I know my mom lost custudy because she married this man that was mean but she divorced him and he is know in prison. So i dont see why he dont want me to be happy with my momma i am tired of the physical and mental abuse by my dad and stepmom i want it to end and i know the only way that it will end is if i go back home to live with my momma.

[ccsmod9]

Hi,
It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation at home. Please know that you do not deserve to be mistreated either physically or mentally. That is considered abuse and can be reported to Child Protective Services, if you’re comfortable doing so. You could also call us here at the National Runaway Safeline. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are here 24 hours a day/7 days a week, and we could help you make the report. We are also here to talk about how you’re feeling and how to help you manage the situation you’re in. There is also a hotline specifically for talking about the abuse you are experiencing: Childhelp is designed to provide help to kids in your situation. Their website is www.childhelp.org , or you can call them at 1-800-422-4453. You may want to consider talking to a teacher or school counselor or another trusted adult about the how your dad has been treating you. Sometimes just sharing your story helps.
You say you’re trying to figure out a way to stay with your mom. While we’re not legal experts here at NRS, if you want to give us a call we can look for legal resources in your area that might be able to give you some advice about custody issues.
Please give us a call; we’re here to listen and help. We hope to hear from you soon.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I dont feel safe at home . my dad is an alcoholic he comes in everyday drunk and argues with my brother almost to the point where they end up fist fighting . my mom and dad call me names for no reason and my brother threatens me . i want to runaway and live with my boyfriend what should i do

[ccsmod5]

Hi,
Thanks for writing in. It sounds like you’re in a scary situation at home with everything going on with your family. You never deserve to be called names or threatened, especially by the people who are supposed to love and cherish you. You are not alone and you deserve to feel safe and supported.
We’re not legal experts, however behavior that you mentioned (your father fighting with your brother and constant drunkness) may qualify as abuse. If you’d feel comfortable doing so, you can report the abuse to the National Child Abuse Hotline; this hotline is also able to give you information about what that process looks like and what the outcome of filing a report may be. Their number is 1-800-422-4453. If you’re more comfortable reaching out to a teacher, coach, or guidance counselor, these people can report the situation for you as well.
You mentioned that you want to run away and live with your boyfriend. It makes sense that you might want to get out of a situation that is hurtful and potentially dangerous. If you are under 18, there are a few considerations. If you leave home without parental consent, your parents would have the right to file a runaway report. If they do so and the police are able to locate you, then they would return you home. If you disclose an abusive situation at home to the police, they are required to investigate that situation before sending you home. Another option is to ask your parents to allow you to stay with someone else, like a family member, family friend, or your boyfriend. If you are able to get their written consent, there should be no issue legally (though, again, we’re not legal experts).
If you do choose to leave home, it’s generally a good idea to think of the following: where you’ll get food, where you’ll stay, how you’ll earn income, whether you have clothes for warm and cold weather, what your backup plans are if you can’t stay where you initially planned, etc. If you’d like to talk about the situation more specifically, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck.