I Don't Feel Safe or Loved at Home Anymore

[Guest]

I don’t feel loved and my mom and her boyfriend don’t want me and neither does my real dad and they are trying to make me go live with him and I don’t feel safe over there and I want to run away and still be able to go to my same school because my mom is the one I live with and I like the school that I go to now but my dad lives an hour away and I don’t like that school do you have any idea where I can go my aunt who lives with my dad is always choking and trying to taze me and I really want to get away from my family what should I do.

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re not happy with things in your life right now.
It sounds like the stress from the situation is making it very hard to figure out what to do.
We are sorry you are going through a tough emotional time. You deserve to feel wanted by your family. We understand how something like that can be upsetting and frustrating. As a result from this it sounds like you have been thinking about running away.

Sometimes when things are too stressful it might help to talk with those you are having issues with or someone you feel will be supportive. Going to stay at your father’s house sounds unsafe and you do not deserve to be hurt or put at risk. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

NRS is here to listen and here to help.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
You are welcome to discuss your situation and talk about possible options for help.
What you did today by reaching out was great. Good job.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I don’t feel safe at him anymore my dad yells at me for nothing and I try to get out of the house but I can’t he has hit me and hit my mom. I want to run away!

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We’re sorry to hear that you’re going through such a tough time at home. No one deserves to be physically or emotionally mistreated. We’re here to listen and help the best way we can.

You mentioned that your dad has hit you and your mom. One option is filing an abuse report. If you want more information about filing an abuse report, you can either call Child Help at 800-422-4453 or use their chat line at www.childhelp.org. They can walk you through the process and help you file if you want help. If you ever feel like you’re in danger, you can always call 911 or text your location to 44357 to get the nearest safe place.

If you leave home without your parents’ permission, your parents can file a runaway report with the police. It’s not illegal to run away, but the police may take you back home if they find you unless there is evidence of the abuse. We aren’t legal experts, but that is some basic information. If you decide that running away is your best option, it’s best to have a plan. Where will you stay, will you continue to go to school, and how will you get food might be some of the things to think about when planning.

There might be other options. If you want to explore what those options are and what you would feel comfortable with, you can chat with us on our chat line at www.1800RUNAWAY.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your safety is the first priority. Be safe and stay strong. We hope to hear from you soon.

Good luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey, I'm a 13-year-old boy and I don't feel like I'm safe or loved at home. My brother is constantly getting hit and it scares me because he's younger than me. I sometimes feel like I should just kill myself or run away. I only really feel safe with my friends. I am now hiding in my closet writing this... I just want to feel safe and loved again.

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m 11 years old and I have 3 siblings and 2 of them make me so mad and get in trouble a lot, so there was this one time my mom told me to get the cat’s litter box cleaned out so I was like it 10 and it’s time for me to sleep cause I was already sleeping but my mom yelled at me and she told me to do it so then I, start thinking why doesn’t my brother do it or my sister so I ask my mom to tell them to do it but she says no I have to do it cause it’s my cat, I don’t like cats and That’s not my cat cause I don’t take care of it. So then I start to cry cause I always have to do things and my siblings don’t then I start thinking about killing my mom or my siblings. I do control that feeling but I feel like it will affect my life later and I do have paranoi that will affect me more.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a tough time.
Doing chores can be frustrating especially when it feels like you are the only one who is doing them. One option to consider is to talk with your family and come up with an agreement about how chores should be done. For example maybe you all can switch off on cleaning the cat’s litter box that way it feels like it is fair.
Having those thoughts can be pretty serious and you may want to consider talking to a professional. You could consider talking to your school counselor about what you are going through. They may be able to help with resources and offer support during this difficult time. Another resource that may be helpful to you is called NAMI (national alliance for mental illnesses). They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore options please give us a call. We are here to help and here to listen 24/7. Best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

Hi
I'm 17 I'm the only one here and I don't feel safe in my own home there's a lot of violence in the home and I just wanna leave but my Step mum and my Dad won't let me leave until I'm 18 I need help I don't know what to do I'm really depressed and suicidal

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It sounds really scary to be in a home with so much violence and you do not deserve to be abused. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

So im almost 17. My story is super complicated but i want to explain. So when i came back home to my moms i was treated like nothing but crap. I want to live with my sister because im being neglected and treated super bad. She has always laid her hands on me. If i didnt do something or forgot to or didnt do it how she asked id get beat to death or choked or get my hair pulled out. She has never owned up to what she has put me through. I have so much in my life i cant loose because my mental health gets worse and worse each day because of that lady. I go to school for early childhood education and work with young kids like toddlers that makes me happy. I got a job i cant loose . I try to let things go as the days go by but theres not one moment i cant forget of how this person can call herself a mother but cant treat her kids right. I have wanted to run away so bad but i have people who are willing to let me stay with them . The issue is my mom wont give me permission to leave because she wont even talk to me we live in the same house and she neglects me. She has took everything out of my room many times before and left me with a pillow and id sit there no food nothing day in and day out. HOW AM I ALIVE. My dad took me out of that position for a year or so then my mom had a new baby and i wanted to be in her life so i came home thinking it be different but its not what so ever. IDK what to do but i wont sit here and look stupid . Should i go live with my sister without my moms consist , Runaway or just live a ********ty life.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It's great to hear that you are a positive influence in the lives of small children and it has to be disheartening to not have that same kind of mentorship from your mother. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

You mentioned a few things about being beaten and choked that raise quite a bit of concern for your safety. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You always have the right to report your mom's behavior. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

You brought up in your post that your mental health was suffering because of the situation at home. It can be really hard to live with mental health issues and we want you to know that you aren’t alone in addressing them. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-800-662-4357 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I am injured by my brother and my right ear is not working. My family do nothing about my brother.

[ccsmod3]

Hello,

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi my names holly. I’m 17 years old I’ll be 18 in 7 months. I’m actually in this website to see what others have too say. So if I don’t feel safe where I’m at or a argument Went down that was bad can I leave for the night stay some where to cool down? Or will I get in trouble for leaving home? I just don’t know what to do anymore I’m always held up stairs in my room. My dads GIRLFRIEND THREATNED TOO SMASH AND BREAK MY PHONE THEY ONLY BEEN DATING FOR 6 months can she get in trouble for a threat or hitting me if she’s not my mom? I’m so sick of being here I just want too leave!! Someone please help

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for taking the time to write us here at NRS and for sharing a bit about your situation. It sounds like living with your dad and his partner has been incredibly stressful and not a healthy environment for you. Acknowledging your need for some space in order to cool down and de-escalate things is a really mature response.

We are not legal experts by any means and we cannot give legal advice, but we can speak generally on your question. If you leave home without permission, your dad can report you as a runaway. Now, this is not illegal, but it is a status offense. While you would not get into any legal trouble, the police might return you home. From what we know, the police would likely not take a report until you have been gone for home for more than one night. So it is unlikely they would pursue a report if you left for the night and came back home in the morning. However, police protocol in this situation can vary a lot for each police department. You can anonymously call the non-emergency line for your local police department to ask how they handle runaway reports and if they would even pursue a report for someone who is close to turning 18.

It is certainly not okay for your dad's girlfriend to threaten you or hit you. Even though she is not a legal guardian, this can still be considered child abuse. You can talk with an advocate at Child Help about this and what your options might be regarding making a child abuse report, 1-800-422-4453; www.childhelp.org.

We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I don't feel safe or loved anymore by both of my parents...... I'm not sure what to do anymore I just want to die... Everything hurts.... I'm in pain all the time .... I'm always getting yelled at for little thing and I can't stay clam anymore my family just really annoys me and I can't stand it anymore .... I don't have anywhere to go I'm only 15... My birthday is in 7 months... I know I can't leave unless I'm 16...i just can't wait anymore I feel. I'm really depressed and angry and I can't handle being with my family I just can't anymore what should I do I really need help ..... Someone please help.. I'm asking for help this time and I just really need it I can't sleep at nights I lay in bed crying I can't smile I just need help please please someone help me.........

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
It seems like you are going through a lot of pain and negative feelings right now and don’t feel like you are getting the support you need from those around you. It seems like you are going through some depression although we are not counselors and cannot diagnose over the internet. It may be worth reaching out to a counselor or therapist to get the help it seems like you need. If you want more information about depression you could look at https://nami.org/Home . This is something a lot of youth your age also go through and its important to find a support system or an outlet to help you cope with the situation.
You may consider finding hobbies, or activities you can do that help bring meaning to each day or at least get you away from your family for a bit each day. This could be sports, music, a job, or even volunteering. We understand that may be hard with the COVID things happening but there may be online counseling or volunteering that you could do.
If you were to leave before you turn 18 then you could be labeled as a runaway. This is known as a status offence so it isn’t a real crime. The police wouldn’t take you to jail they would just take you home.
Hopefully this information is helpful for you we want you to know that we are here to support you however we can. If you need someone to talk to you can call our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or if you have more questions.

[Guest]

Hi, im 14 and im having trouble. My mom doesnt let me see my real dad, he is really a good guy and tgeres nothing wrong, he has my two other siblings in his custody too. My step-dad has put his hands on my mothers neck and he has some friends in a gang and he always threatens to bring over a girl to beat us up. He has really bad anger issues and is always going through me and my moms text on our phones. Im about to run away or call someone to go to a famoly memebers house. I dont know what to do anymore

[ccsmod15]

Hi there. We are so sorry to hear you are being mistreated at home. You do not deserve to be threatened, disrespected, or see your mom being assaulted by your step-dad. Just so you know, if you wanted to file an abuse report on what's going on, you can do that. You could file through your state's child abuse reporting hotline or through Child Help (www.childhelp.org) 1-800-422-4453. Also, with regard the domestic violence in the home, you could contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (www.thehotline.org) 1-800-799-7233. You've seen a lot, and talking about what you are going through might be really helpful to you.

It is probably a good idea to seek out supportive people as much as possible. Your feelings have value and you have the right to be safe, seen, and heard. If there is someone in your life that you feel comfortable with and trust, by all means take advantage of talking with them. Perhaps that's a relative, teacher, counselor, religious leader, or anyone you feel safe with. Of course, we are here for you whenever you want to talk. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. We are a confidential, safe place to talk about whatever you are going through. We can help you figure out what your best options are and can connect you to resources in our database: shelters, counselors, legal aid, and more. Of course, even if you just need to vent, we are here to listen.

When you call or chat with us we can discuss what your options are: going to a relative's house would be one possibility, for instance. But it would be really great if you called or chatted with us because we can offer further assistance if we knew a bit more about your situation. So we hope to hear from you soon! Again, our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY and you can chat with us at www.1800runaway.org. Please stay safe.

NRS

[Guest]

I turned 18 around 2 months ago and I seriously don't feel at home living with my parents, they always yell at me, even hit me (suppose mostly cause of my bad grades and me not doing the dishes even just once), they always tell me I'm worthless, that I won't amount to anything in my life and yea...that makes me want to either run away or kill myself...I'm honestly scared to even move freely around my parents or even breathe, cause then they'll start yelling at me, they've been telling me to get a job and get my own place, so I don't feel like I belong here anymore...Please tell me what I should do about this because I don't have a clue...I don't know what to do because I'm failing in school and I don't think I can finish it and also I'm not good at anything so how can I even get a job....especially with this COVID-19 going around and people getting fired...there's no chance for me, maybe I should indeed just kill myself and problem solved...I haven't cut myself yet but I feel like I'd probably impulsively decide to kill myself, I really don't belong here, at all, so why to live, what's the point...

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
It seems like you are feeling really down because of the verbal abuse directed towards you by your parents and worries about school and the future. It’s understandable to have worries about getting a job or graduating from school but neither would be the end of the world even if you do have to leave the house. It has to be hard hearing from family that is supposed to care for you and help support you things that make you feel like you aren’t welcome there anymore.
There are options out there to help you get a highschool education, GED, job, or housing as a 18 year old. The first that can help a bit with each would be a Temporary Living Place, which usually provide housing and a case manager to help you get a job, or GED and get on your feet. There is also HUD.gov that focuses on housing. For job education you could check out https://www.jobcorps.gov/ that can provide training and job placement.
If you do feel like your suicidal thoughts are returning or getting worse we encourage you to reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. If it is an emergency dial 911 for immediate health. You can also check yourself into a hospital and ask to be put on suicide watch for up to a week. For long term health it may be helpful to look for personal counselors. There are some that work a certain amount for free, and if you want help trying to find one we do have a database of counseling resources.
If you have more questions, or just need someone to talk with you can always reach out to our hotline at 1-800-786-2929.

[Guest]

hi I’m 13 years old and I don’t feel safe at home anymore if I’m being honest I don’t even class it a home I’m a child I deserve to feel happy and safe at home but I don’t I constantly feel depressed constantly crying and my family don’t even ask what’s wrong and when they o it’s rare and even if I were to tell them they don’t understand I don’t feel safe opening up to any of them not even my mum or older sister I’m at the point I want to live with my dad because he and his girlfriend understand me and I feel happy there because unlike my mum they don’t scream in my face and threaten me or shout at me my dad and his girlfriend are relaxed

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for reaching out to NRS,
It seems like you are feeling unsafe at home because your mom yells, and doesn’t listen to your feelings. You are right that you deserve a place to feel happy and safe at home, instead of sad and depressed. It’s good to hear that you have more support from your dad and feel like you can rely on him.
It seems like your parents are divorced, if so you may want to check with your dad if he has partial custody or not. If he does you may be able to just ask him if you can stay with him full time instead of your mom. If not he might be able to as the courts to grant him full custody instead so you can stay there instead of with your mom.
Another option might be child abuse reporting, for more information about your options there you can go to childhelp.org. If you end up deciding that is right for you we can help you make an abuse report if you wanted.
Lastly you mentioned feeling constantly depressed. It may help to have a counselor or therapist that can help you through these feelings. To learn more you can go to nami.org, or talk to a school counselor for help. We also have counseling resources in our database and could see what is around you that might be able to help.
If you have more questions or just need someone to talk to about all this you can always reach out to our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us online at 1800runaway.org.

[Guest]

So my friends parents are divorced and she has been going back and forth from houses for years and her mom has always been crazy, calls her ugly and fat even thought she’s super skinny Bc she doesn’t eat sometimes Bc either she doesn’t get fed Bc there nothin in the house or Bc her moms being a jerk. And her mom blames her for everything. So she’s 14 and she has a younger sister who’s 10 and her sister has wanted to get her hair for a wile( me and my friend have always done crazy stuff to our hair but she was never aloud to do it to her sister hair) so a few days ago my friend cut her sister hair off into a short pixie cut, which the sister asked my friend to do. And her mother is screaming at her for doing it and always threatens to kick her out but never does but also says if she leaves she will call the cops. My friend has had enough of what goes on (she has run away multiple times) and she doesn’t know what to do and idk how to help her

[ccsmod16]

Hi ,
Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like things have been very difficult and stressful for your friend and it is understandable to want help her to have a situation to where she can be safe. You are doing more than you know by being her friend and believing what she tells you. You are an excellent friend, and your support is so important to her.

We hope that your friend will reach out to us either by phone or chat so that we can talk this over. Her situation is specific to her, and we want to help her discover options that are specific to her too. We want to provide support and ways to help her in her difficult situation.

The best way for us to help is by listening to her and helping to figure out some options to help in her. We are here for you both 24/7 either by calling 1-800-786-2929 or via live chat through www.1800runaway.org
We are confidential and are here 24/7 to listen and help.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 18 and i always get shouted at by my dad even for the little things and i don't feel safe at home anymore as my dad has hit my brother in the past and i am scared that he is going to hit me and i just want to run away as i am losing my patience with my dad and my mum just sits there and doesn't say anything and if i try and explain anything then my dad yells at me and i have had enough but i don't know what to do as staff at college don't believe me and i always feel scared to go home on a friday as that is the day that my dad comes home from work as he works away during the week and my mum wishes that he didn't work away as she wants him home all the time and i just feel really unsafe all the time.

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m 13 years old, I have a younger sibling, my parents often blame things on me, and tell me I’m not good enough, or worthless. My sister is 4, they keep saying things like: “ we can expect nothing from you, your sister is better” I feel unsafe...

[ccsmod4]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like you are going through a tough situation at home.
You deserve to be treated fairly by your parent’s and not put down. It’s not yours or your sister’s fault that they say things that feel hurtful to you.

We understand how upsetting this must be for you.
You are very brave for reaching out to NRS. Good for you.
NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.
Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).
NRS is here to listen and here to help.
Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Take care,
NRS