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I Don't Feel Safe or Loved at Home Anymore

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  • Hi, Im 13 And Feel The Exact Same Way Its Getting Harder To Stay Here Anymore

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    • My Family Is The Exact Same

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      • I don’t feel comfortable at my house anymore I’m 13 and it’s like every year my grandma gets more and more rude she just screams at me for little mistakes I do and she doesn’t even let me out of the house she says that if dcf sees me out of the house I’ll get taken away and my aunt is moving out and i have a feeling that my
        grandma will start abusing me when she moves out because that’s what she did to my aunt when her sisters moved out my grandmas is depressed and she always blames me saying I’m depressed that I want to kill myself and she’s been making me take medicine for years because I have adhd and that I “need” them but it makes me lose my appetite and quiet but when I don’t take it I’m fine I don’t want to be in this house anymore because I’m afraid that when my aunt moves out she will start being more rude and dcf is already involved in my family but they don’t come I just want to get away from this I used to self harm because all I kept thinking. About is if I was going to get screamed at or if they will hit me I don’t know what to do anymore I tell the therapist and they think that I’m lying bc they known my grandma for a while and it “doesn’t seem like her”

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        • ccsmod10
          ccsmod10 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned the threat of being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS even if they have already been involved. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. You mentioned wanting to kill yourself due to what you have been experiencing. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

          Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

          If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

          We hope to hear from you soon.
          Be safe,

      • I am 15. I remember since I was 2 yrs old my dad would drag,slam, and yell at my mom. In this memory I remember my mom was scared and my dad threw something at her (I can't really remember what it was) and then he went up to her and grabbed her by the shirt and slammed her on walls and jabbed his finger at her when they argued. I also remember my mom ended up with a ripped shirt when me dad slammed her onto a different wall. My mom only sobbed and tried to argue back at my dad. As the years went by I forgot most of the stuff that happened in my childhood ,but then I remembered about all of the times throughout my childhood he had hit and screamed at her. I thought this was normal but realized about 1 year ago after the most recent abuse incident that it was not okay to hit anyone even if you're having an agruement. These last 2 years my dad hasn't hit her since I last told my uncle that my dad hit my mom. But now my dad is starting to get aggresive with me when he argues. He yells so closely and loudly to my face that I end up with his spit on my face. I remember one time he woke me up and yelled and called my a b***** and other stuff for waking up late. I was shocked and scared since I just woke up and the first thing that happened to me is getting yelled and pushed at. He also pretends he's about to hit me but stops mid way when he argues with me. He has also in the past years slammed me against the bed or wall and hit me hard with his fists. (As I am currently writing this I feel angered and like an idiot for not doing anything... I feel weak and like I can't do anything to stop himMy mom also gets into agruements with me and yells at me and then degrades me about something that has nothing to do with the argument. Also I don't know why but my mom likes to twist my words and complain to my dad about what I said to my mom in an arguement immediately after it happens. An extreme example of when my mom lied to my dad about an arguement we had is , when my mom got pissed at me for not doing a chore and then I saw my sister was watching me and mom argue so I then said "(My sister's name) doesn't deserve this, she deserves a better family." My mom then got shocked and yelled "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" and I was confused why she was VERY VERY angry and shocked (I have never seen my mom act like this level of angry before) She then said, I said my dad touched my sister. And then I got shocked and confused. Where the hell did she get those words for me saying "(My sister's name) doesn't deserve this, she deserves a better family." She then started yelling SUPER loudly at me and slapped me in the face multiple times. While crying I was trying to tell her I didn't say that and that I didn't understand where she got "my dad touches my sister" from any of my words. She then yelled at me to get out of her house multiple times. I then ran away but had to come back home at night since I didn't have anywhere else to go to. My dad was still at work when I cam back but I remember my mom cried angrily at me that she asked dad if what I supposedly said (which I DID NOT and am still confused about how she thought I said that) was true. I then picked up the phone and heard my dad sobbing and saying "Why did you do this me... how could you even do this to me." My dad kept crying and saying how I disappointed he is his own child made up such a terrible lie about him. He then threatened to kill himself while I was on the phone with him.( This whole disaster happened about 2 years ago) My current agreements with them are happening more frequently and my dad is getting more aggressive. I don't know what to do and where to go. I need to leave this house. I can't deal with more mental problems. I also don't wanna call any authorities since I know my sister will ended up put into the foster system and separated from me Please help me!

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        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you reaching out to us. It can be really hard to open up and speak about how you are feeling but we are glad you decided to today. It sounds like you have dealt with a lot of trauma at home at such a young age. That must have been really terrifying and confusing. It makes sense that you have just recently been able to process how that behavior isn’t healthy. It must be scary to see your mom being hit and yelled at constantly by your dad. It’s brave that you were able to tell your uncle about what was happening. If you ever want to talk to someone about the abuse you are experiencing or that you have seen happen you can reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1800-799-7233.
          Since you feel like you are in an unsafe environment, have you discussed with your uncle, friends or other people you trust about what has been going on. Sometimes talking about what is going on can help you gain some support and realize that it is not your fault and that the way you feel is completely normal. You shouldn’t have to be scared of your parent or what he may do to you. If you ever want to report the abuse you are experiencing since you can contact Child Help at 1800-422-4453. Also you could try and talk with family or friends about staying with them temporarily if you feel like things are starting to escalate.
          You are doing a good thing reaching out and finding options. It’s unfortunate that your mom isn’t a good support for you especially since she has experienced abuse from your father as well. Maybe you all could benefit from some counseling to discuss some of the ways you are feeling. You could contact NAMI by texting 741741 to discuss counseling services or just have someone to talk to about what you are experiencing. Also we provide a service were we could conference call your mom to start a conversation about how she makes you feel and the way you are feeling about your dad. You would have to call us at 1800-RUNAWAY to utilize the service but it’s an option if you are open to it. Please feel free to reach out to us if you need to and just know that you are not alone in this. We are 24/7 and here to help. Best of luck!

      • I'm 17 years old and Ive been fostered by my family for 7 years. Thank God I have not been physically abused, but I feel like my parents hate me and hate having me around. They have always clearly loved my other siblings more, never spending time with me, whatever I do , I'm doing something wrong. we have a lot of arguments, I'm either talking back, not answering, having a long face, nothing is ever good enough. Last year there was a big blowout and my father almost deciced to end the fostercare. We managed to sort of come to a compromise and it didn't end up happening.it still, I have always considered them my parents because they are all I have. This week my "dad" said to me that I'm not his daughter, and that he doesn't need to treat me as well as the other kids, that he regrets letting me call them mommy and daddy. They after all these years I'm not their child even I've been calling them my parents for Years and now they took all that back. I'm really hurt by all that has been said. Its been following me the whole week wherever I go. If they are not my parents then I don't have parents. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. Can you give me some advice?

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        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. What your dad has said to you is extraordinarily brutal and callous. It makes sense that you are at a loss with what to do given the circumstances. No one deserves to be treated as you are being treated. It is your parent’s responsibility to create a safe and loving environment for you and if they cannot do that, it says more about them then it does about you.
          A potential resource if Child Help, the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org. They may have suggestions on how to deal with your current situation or suggest other resources that may be helpful to you.
          Our main concern is that you are safe and off the street. If you are considering leaving home. We can provide potential alternative or transitional housing resources that may be helpful.
          Please feel free to contact us any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org. We have volunteers available 24/7 seven days a week to talk and to help you fine the resources you need.
          We wish you the best!

      • hi im 14 and i hate living in my house im always getting yelled at and im always the one to have to do chores but my brothers dont they get to sit around and do nothing while i get yelled at. last night i told my mom i was gonna go to my schools open house and i was, till plans changed i didnt think to tell anyone and by the time i got home my mom got out of the car and started to beat me and told me im a disappointment and im ruining her and everyone life and that i always ******** up everything this has been gong on for a long time they took my phone away an craked it in half.i hate it here. my dad is verbally abusive and call me a pig or a disgusting person im always getting yelled at for no reason i need help my friend said that she would call cps but idk if they can even take me for this i just wanna leave and make it easier on my family beacuase my dad already ssid if i "******** up" again that he would send me to foster care and then i told him to and he smacked me for it.

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        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. It sounds like you have a tough situation going on at home. It shows a lot that you reached out to us, situations like these can be hard to navigate and it can sometimes be hard to reach out but the fact that you did is huge, that is something worth being proud of.
          And though it may not feel like it right now, and you may be really frustrated, your life is important and you matter. If you feel like you are in danger at home and need emergency services, you always have the right to call 911 for police and other emergency services. We want you to know we care about your wellbeing, and your safety.

          It sounds like you've been through quite an amount of pain from your parents. You don't deserve to be beaten or harmed in any way. It may be something you have tried, but we want to mention that an option could be to try to talk to your mom and dad about how they are treating you differently than your brothers and how that makes you feel. You do not have to do this alone, you can always think about bringing in a third party like a friend, trusted adult, teacher, etc to bring in a different perspective. Sometimes having help from someone outside of the family can bring attention to the issue and offer safe ways to bring about change in the home. If you do not feel that is the safest option, we can always brainstorm other ideas that you feel may work and talk about them if you can reach out to us again.

          We also want to say that you do not deserve to be beat or verbally abused and it is not okay. If you do feel abused or your parent’s actions are abusive, you do have the right to report what is going on. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource that can help answer any questions you have about what reporting abuse looks like, what abuse is, and they can also assist in reporting if you choose to do so. We are also here 24/7 to help as well to discuss reporting as an option or to report as well if you choose to do so. There are many outcomes to reporting and Child Protective Services try to keep the youth’s best interest in mind and safety as the top priority.
          As a reminder, we are here to help sort through things with you and identify a plan that is safest and best for you. We do truly care about you and understand it must be an incredibly frustrating situation you are in with your family and their treatment towards you compared to your brothers. We are always here to listen and help brainstorm options that you feel may best fit your situation. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY 24/7 and we also have an online chat system at 1800runaway.org if you want to chat with us. We hope to hear from you soon!


          Best, NRS

      • I no longer want to stay with my parents and I am pregnant

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        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
          We hope to hear from you soon.

          Be safe,

          NRS

      • Oh wow. I came here to ask if I should run away but now I just feel like a spoilt brat. Ok. I am a trans ftm boy. I am 13 and I have not come out. I also might be bi/pan. My grandma once said that transgenders are just looking for attention from the media. Once they caught me binding with bras but they were too thick to realise. The rest of my family is super stuck up and freaked out when my brother used gel in his hair. I don't know how they will react, but I know they won't accept it. I am too much of a coward to tell them anything. It is a struggle for me to tell them when I am ill, and I have already got my period. I haven't told them but have had it for 3 months, nearly 4. If I can't tell them about something that happens to every (sex not gender) girl, how can I tell them about something that is such a minority?

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        • Oh wow. I came here to ask

          Hello,
          Thanks for contacting the national Runaway Safeline.

          We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. Your bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/ or 1-888-843-4564.

          NRS is here to listen and here to help.
          Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

          1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).

          Take care,
          NRS

          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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