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I Don't Feel Safe or Loved at Home Anymore

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  • i’m 12 turning 13 years old in a few months. i don’t like living with my family. my household is just so negative. they have to high expectations for me. all my parents do is scream and yell, especially my father. he used to work out of town in another state, but he’s back now. it seems great for my brother who grew separation anxiety with him always being gone, but my brothers only 3. the things my father says to my mother disturb me so much. just yesterday she bought hangers for clothes and toilet paper and he yelled to her “stop acting like you’re something you’re not” and a few days ago they were yelling at eachother with me in the middle. they have came close to getting a divorce many times. my mother used to be a alcoholic when my father was gone. she cheated on him and when he found out they just bought a new house. and it was the second night we were there. my aunt, grandmother, and my bestfriend were there that night. my mother was drunk and it was 2 am. i heard screaming, so much of it. i don’t want to get into detail but to sum it up. my bestfriend has to go back
    home at 4 am. and i was staying at our old rental house talking to my father so he wouldn’t kill himself right infront of me. more stuff happens but i have ptsd from it now. i stay at friends houses a lot because i don’t feel welcome and sometimes safe at home. just yesterday my father screamed at me to put different shorts on (i was wearing a year old pair on adidas shorts) i just locked myself on my room instead. i don’t have non jean shorts. my only other pair at 2 years old. they don’t buy me anything. and my chest is bigger than a lot of my peers and i have to wear a bra that is a year old that doesn’t fit because my parents don’t buy me clothes. my grandmother usually does but i feel bad and don’t want to come to her for everything. but my grandparents are moving here soon. i’m not looking to run away but i NEED to know if i could live with my grandparents instead of my parents. i’m scared to bring it up to them because i’m afraid ill get hurt. more stuff have happened but i don’t want to get into that. i just want to live with my grandparents without getting a huge court case.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you have been through so much with your parents and the incidents surrounding their separation and you are looking to stay with your grandparents. It's understandable that you want to leave that environment yo should be treated with respect.

      You might have options with getting the state to intervene at home. You mentioned not wanting to report what is going on to authorites; which is understandable. If you ever do want to explore those options please call or chat us: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.

      The easiest informal way you can legally leave home is with your parents' permission. If you haven't already, you might talk to both your grandparents and parents about how you are feeling and needing to move. You might have your grandparents talk to your parents for you about moving out as well. If you would like assistance talking to your parents we do have a conference call services if you call 1-800-RUNAWAY.

      Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat.

      We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

  • Hi I'm 15 years old and I don't feel safe at home.. my stepdad when I was 11 started to sexually touch me I didn't understand what exactly was happening but he told me to say no if I didn't like it but I didn't know what to do I was frozen.. it continues on till I was thirteen or fourteen and I have finally run to my uncle's house I told me counselor and they was going to call dhs but they haven't come to my rescue yet.. I told my mom but all she wanted to do was talk about it and told me today that nobody was in there right mind and that it will never happen again.. please help me

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We’re here to help, and it’s not always easy to reach out for help. We’re sorry to hear that you don’t feel safe at home. Young people should be safe at home from unwanted touching, and they should also feel safe from negative consequences if they tell others about the unwanted touching.
      It sounds like you have taken some steps to notify people about your stepdad’s behavior, which is a brave first step to improving your situation at home. It also sounds like you’ve discussed the situation with your mother, your uncle, and your counselor, and that they have been supportive to you, and that’s also a positive step.
      You mentioned that your situation has been reported to DHS. I hope your counselor explained that it can take time for that process to get started. It is good to know that you have people in your life like your mother and your uncle and your counselor who are supportive to you in the meantime, and that your mother has said that it will never happen again. Please know that if you are feeling unsafe and are unable to reach the people who support you, you can call the police, who will respond to an immediate unsafe situation so that you can be safe again.
      It can be difficult with a posting to fully understand your situation, because we can only go on the information that you’ve provided. If you are able to call, please reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929), and someone would be happy to discuss your situation with you. We’re here every day, 24 hours, so you can call anytime.
      Thank you for reaching out to us, and if we can be of further assistance, please let us know.

  • hi i am only 11 years old. I am caught in a CYFD investigation. All because my mom yells at me and drinks and screams. i have had suicidal thought and pictures. I don't feel safe at my home. My Granny drinks too but she doesn't scream. I have two sisters. One is free, she is 16 and my mom gave up custody of her but not me and my other sister who is 4. I am not aloud at my moms house. She has threatened me and she has hit her disabled brother because he wouldn't eat and that is why me and my older sister moved to texas for the last semester of school. We are back but it hurts. Since we have been back my Mother has threatened me not to say anything but i still do. She doesn't think she's done anything. But she has. She has given me PTSD,Depression, and she has put me down mentally. My sister has a grandma that i am not related to because she ( my sister ) has a different dad cause my mom is a skank. I am not aloud over there because of my moms say so. So it is either foster care, MY moms house or my Grannys. Please help me .

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed by your mom. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

      It sounds like you have had suicidal thoughts. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we are so glad that you did. Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. If you feel this is an emergency you could consider calling 911 for emergency assistance. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

      If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you. We also can call out to child protective services with you if you are interested in filing another abuse report.

      Stay Strong,

      NRS

  • Hi my dad got a new girlfriend she is nice and her 2 kids are nice too but I do not have a room there it’s not my home my home was at my moms house but a month later she got a boyfriend he has his own house but sleeps here sometimes and soon my mom and him will bye a house soon I will have no hom

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for posting. Sounds like home is really rough right now with all the changes. You were comfortable with where you were at but now mom has a new boyfriend and he is over a lot and you do not have a room at your dad's either. That must be a really hard situation to be in!
      We are here to listen and provide support. We could find resources for you to a different place to stay, problem solve and think through some options, or help you better manage living with your parents. It is difficult to know without knowing your age which option you are most interested in.
      We offer conference calling with parents too if you think having a talk with your mom or dad would be helpful in terms of having a third party who is neutral facilitating.

      We are here at 1-800-786-2929 24/7 so call or chat anytime for more info!

      Best of luck!

  • Hi I’m 17 years old and I don’t feel safe living at my home anymore I don’t know what to do I want to live with my oldest siblings because they are the only ones that actually care for me and they can support me but I don’t know how to do that I tried “running away” twice and the cops told me that I have no rights because I’m not 18 so I have to stay with my verbally abusive mom please help. My depression is getting worse and I’ve tried committing suicide because of her.. my life hasn’t always been easy I’m a senior now and I can’t wait until I turn 18 anymore I want/need to get out now. I have 7 siblings I’m the middle child that does everything but I’m always getting yelled at and told stuff this environment that I live in is so negative and puts all kinds of bad things into my head if you can tell me what I can do id appreciate it thank you.

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • I am 16 years old and I was in foster care and this placement seemed great till they got permanent custody then things started going down hill I don't feel safe there are alot of drugs in and out if this house and there's always people here trying to rob us at gun point and I just need out of this house what do i do

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that things have deteriorated in your new home. What you’re going through sounds awful and incredibly stressful on top of being dangerous. It may be a good idea to consider the option of abuse reporting. Drugs in the home and armed robbery are not suitable conditions for a child or anyone to live in and could be considered neglect or abuse in some cases. If you are interested in the option of reporting or would like to learn more about it, please reach out to the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or childhelp.org. We can also help you try to find youth shelters in your area that you may be able to stay at or talk to you about other options in terms of leaving. If you are interested in having that conversation, please call us on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

      Best,
      NRS
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